Due April 2009: Episode 19 - We had sex in July!! The curse of the slummy mummy!!

[SmuttyNuttyTaff]

so the orgy thread begins

Springy - noooo tis the right colour and everything!! PineappeAnalProbe =SpringySunshine surely.

Ahem

hello rude ladies, loving all the smutty chat....let you into a secret - I think DH likes being married as has been a definate improvement in that department since the weekend in that we're actually back to doing it (wouldn't want to imply there was a quality issue just in case he's checking up on me !)

Have checked my txts and nothing from Bronze. Have sent her a message will let you know if i get anything back. Hope she's okay.

Planning to repack my hospital bag tonight. Had to use the bag at the weekend for spare wedding cloths as was only one handy so all hospital stuff got dumped in a corner of the bedroom and sitting there in a heap looking messy.

HB visits - I've started twice as HB and only ever had a cursory visit by the MW which seemed to just be about space where we were planning to do the deed ie was there enough space/room for the two of them and the gas&air tanks etc, really didn't seem bothered by anything else. Believe you me I am no domestic clean queen at the best of times and me a Health Inspector too . Don't recall a risk assessment either.

oh god now i'm all confused (dosen't take much)

I think I might keep this name, just because

Should a grape be peeled prior to being inserted nasally?

I also meant to ask about the grape scissors!

dont think so better with the skin on methinks less juice dribbling out of your nose

If you ask it nicely enough, it'll peel itself

Oh hush, you love the juice

now that is a talent sod the fanjo ping pong balls i'm aspiring to nasaly peeling a grape

Why not combine both?

Juicy is good, tis true

I imagine it'd be a skill akin to tying a cherry stalk with your tongue.

good plan strawbs, dont think my fanjo will be up to it though after baby no 2

ahhhh i can cheat with the cherry stalk i have a tounge bar, so can just loop it round or take the toungue bar out and thread it through bit gross though

It does take some practice, I must admit. The pelvic floor exercises really help though. Plus, a Cervix of Steel

Boffin??

What did those fanjo physio women teach you?!

See, I thought Boffin for NasalGrape, as an excellent play on the previous theme of Nasal Rape.

NasalGrape is springy

FruitFlingingFanjo - gotta be boff (or maybe maths?)

Nope, I'm not Boffin.

Can you really be a fanjo physio? What a specialism. That reminds me of a friend (honestly!) who had to see a vulval skin specialist - we wondered how you could ever tell people what you do for a living, at dinner parties etc!

Well identified, Smutts

NutSack is too good at this!