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July 2009 Part III

911 replies

Mij · 20/02/2009 15:04

Hope no-one minds me kicking this one off - 39 pages seemed a bit unmanageable!

Had 20 week scan today. Tiddler unco-operative to start with (although not as bad as DD was - took 3 goes to see everything) and it looks like most of the bits are in the right places. Decided right at the very last minute not to find out the sex. Realised that, if DD thinks she's going to have a sister, that nothing, not even photographic evidence, will change her mind anyway. So stuck with the 'don't ask don't tell' as per first time around and will just have to wait to sort out all the sodding clothes 'til we know what we've got.

Although... What do gonads look like on a scan?! Got a very good look at the hips from underneath, so to speak, and thought I saw two little bright spots, but that could be the sitting bones of course. Anyone tell me what the crown jewels look like on a scan?!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
xxhunnyxx · 03/03/2009 19:13

Anyone gettin a pain in their ribs? I've been gettin this pain just below my right boob for weeks now, feels like a pulled muscle or something stretching. Googled it but it seems to be something u get later on in pregnancy - not at 22 weeks! lol

Wiltedrose · 03/03/2009 20:02

Thanks girls for the 'what to do about double buggy' suggestions, really like the Out and About one Christiana..... we get days now when dd says she wants to walk, and 20 yards up the road decides she wants to be carried and doing this totally knackered my back for a whole week so we're going to see if we can look at the Nipper 'in the flesh'.

Has anyone used a Bibi Strolli? Just done a google on 'alternatives to buggy board' and it's popped up?

maidinamerica OMG can't believe a nanny told you what pram they wanted!! However I think the old fashioned Silver Cross is back in fashion?

rubyriley can't say I've experienced anything like that myself, sounds like some kind of muscle spasm, it's probably nothing but I'd want to get checked over myself....

Patchybob · 04/03/2009 10:52

Hello all, I haven't been on for a few days. DH has been at home and it is much harder to sit and read through it all when he is about!!

I had an appointment at the hospital yesterday to see a midwife and go through my notes on my previous births to get them clear in my head and try and remove the anxiety I have about another natural birth when the other 2 were such a trauma. They have said I can have a c section if I want, but with it being right before the school holidays and having the other 2 dc I don't want to be unable to drive etc as it would ruin it for them. Anyway, I found it really useful, and feel more able to cope with labour again.

I had a result on the car seat front at the weekend, I managed to get a maxi cosi from a nearly new sale for £10. its immaculate, will fit on the quinny and it turns out I know the woman who sold it so have the peace of mind that it hasn't been in an accident.

I have also been looking at slings and love the kari me, like some of you am worried that we will both get too hot? Its going to be my only new indulgence so I want to get it right.

Anyway thats me, scan on friday, just want to know its all ok!

Have a good day xx

maidinamerica · 04/03/2009 12:03

Thanks for the tip QueenFee. I'm pretty sure the carry cot bit at least unclips from the Stokke but my big question is "how easily". Hadn't really twigged the point about keeping them asleep, so will be extra careful when I go and test it that's it a smooth and easy action.

Yes I was totally gobsmacked too when this nanny said she wanted us to get a Silver Cross, WiltedRose. I understand her reasonings but still I think ... No ! One of the reasons we went with someone else was that I think her view of real life and mine were totally different. She's spent 7 years abroad working for very rich people and is used to security guards and taking over a floor at Claridges. Not what our life is like at all !

Very confused about beds. I've got (bought on eBay) a fabulous cotbed from Simon Horn - the type that goes from a cot to a bed to a sofa. But from my reading it looks like we need something else for the first few months. Is this right ? And do we need a moses basket, a crib or a bassinet ? Totally confused by all this equipment !

Belgrano · 04/03/2009 13:32

maid I used a moses basket for about 3 weeks but they cost about £20 so not too bad at all (and are often going free from friends who've finished with babies as they are completely useless for any other purpose or once the baby has grown at all). They are fab for daytime - baby can sleep flat on back and be carted around the house with you as you go.
Ours was used at night only while DD was in our room but we booted her into her own room next door at 10 days old - a noisy baby and light sleeper mummy meant I was getting too frazzled and tired. She was very happy in her room and it worked v well for us so I personally would recommend that. It also meant no withdrawal symptoms when moving from moses basket at night to cotbed at night as a bigger baby (and therefore more aware and surer that they want to stay in cosy basket in mummy's room). Only thing is they do look at bit lost in that massive cotbed when you first put them in there so young!

christiana · 04/03/2009 13:45

Message withdrawn

mickeylou · 04/03/2009 13:56

i had a moses basket for about a fortnight - DS was big baby and soon outgrew it. we didnt buy it so i was glad we hadnt wasted money on it. after that DS slept in a mamas and papas travel cot in our room for the next few months. DS is still in his cot bed -its now in bed form - so unless he gets a new bed before july i was planning on digging the travel cot out again.

BonzoDoodah · 04/03/2009 15:42

I've started waking in the middle of the night. I'm sure this started MUCH later last time. Awake for an hour between 3 and 4am or 5 and 6am ... shattered! Only consolation this morning was that at 5:30 am I felt the bump kicking like mad - the first proper no-doubt-about-it kicks I've felt. Was really special.

I had a moses basket given to me by a friend and a proper wicker crib that was my brother's, then niece's, then nephew's and then DD! Baby grew out of the moses basket fairly quicky but the crib was great until about 6 months when she started trying to sit up in it!
Other mums I know put their babies straight into the big cot with it on the highest point. They used a cot bumper across half of the cot while the baby was tiny to make the cot look smaller.

Gillyan · 04/03/2009 16:11

Hey guys

I had a moses basket that I used for Dd to sleep in downstairs and I had a swinging crib by the bed, I used to end up bringing the moses basket upstairs and putting her in that in the crib as she looked so tiny in the crib. I didn't put her in the cot till she was 16 weeks but i put her in her own room at 6 weeks.

Anyone know why we are not supposed to sleepon our backs?? I keep waking up like that and can;t get comfy on my side at the moment.

patchy I am going through my previous labour notes with MW on 17th March and already feel relieved just for her suggesting it. Glad it helped you and hope it helps me too.

woollyjo · 04/03/2009 16:30

DD went into her own cot in her own room from night 2, I was gutted when I learnt later that NHS advice was to have them in with you for at least 6 weeks, the Health Visitor knew where she was sleeping and didn't comment. I felt like a bad mum.

Mind you sharing a room with her when we were away was like having a live piglet in the room all the snorting and farting...(worse than her dad!)

Got a Moses basket off free cycle this time as cot is in same room as dd.

Mij · 04/03/2009 16:33

So much to catch up on!

hunny research (mostly anthropological on isolated societies but some on babies brought up in industrialised countries) shows that overall the carried baby is more content, cries less and is more confident as they get older. However, as with all research that like, it doesn't mean that will apply to every single individual! My DD was carried a lot (we didn't even get the 2nd hand prams we were given out of storage for the first month) and for the first 3 months she only ever slept on me during the day and evening, and she is one of the most independent and confident toddlers you could meet. As soon as she could crawl, I'd barely see her for two hours at baby groups, she'd just be off playing, and would only 'check in' with me to recharge her Mummy battery and breastfeed. But it's almost impossible to prove a cause/effect relationship with her behaviour/personality and being carried. My gut feeling is that meeting her need to be held in the first few months of life (and beyond when she asked) really has contributed to her independence and confidence, certainly her sociability (she's used to adults making lots of friendly eye-contact and conversation because she was usually at their height). But as you can't bring up the same kid twice, I'll never really know. I did it as much for me as for her at the time, as apart from being the best way to settle her, I felt very 'free' to carry on doing whatever I wanted to. But, it's horses for courses - it doesn't suit every parent or every baby. Also bear in mind you don't have to make a 'to sling or not to sling' decision - you can carry when it suits you both, and buggy-it the rest of the time. Oh, and some internet sling suppliers also do hire, so you can try before you buy.

Now I've totally outed myself as a fully paid-up lentil weaver, haven't I!

For those who don't want to splash out on a new sling, there's a yahoogroup called something like UKslingswap (I'll check that when I've got a moment) where good deals are to be had. thebabywearer.com is also good but you've got to have 30 posts in 30 days to qualify to use the for sale or trade board, and now the exchange rate with the dollar isn't so good, it's pricier. Ebay can also yield the occasional good deal. And if you're handy, you could also make your own! There are loads of patterns on the internet

christiana, PrincessB, Soozze and patchybob well, all slings that hold the baby directly against your chest will be hotter than those that don't, but I've found a couple of ways around that. Firstly, if you're in a particularly hot climate there are gauze wraps - very light, dry quickly if you need to wash them a lot. The Calin Bleu is a good example. DD was born in the heat wave in 2006, and yes, I'll fess up I was frequently pretty sweaty but the kari-me is made out of cotton t-shirt-type material, and I wore just a very thin vest under it and it wasn't too bad. Also, because the material spreads out so much, it was possible to go out in a bra and just the sling. Not for the novice perhaps, but did the job! To my knowledge DD didn't get too hot regardless of how sweaty I was! She was often just in a nappy and a hat - she loved all that lovely sweaty skin-to-skin action in fact even when she appeared bright red in the face she would burrow further in to my armpit (strange child). I believe that another Mummy superpower is that your body temperture adjusts to help regulate that of your newborn, but that might just apply to bfing and co-sleeping...

PrincessB the closer does a very similar thing to the kari-me but is probably easier to learn to adjust to start with. The only thing I'm not sure about is the lack of a chest/waist strap - a third bit that goes around you and the baby as a safety measure, but I've never heard of anyone having any trouble. It's relatively new on the market so I haven't heard much feedback at all, actually.

queenfee congrats on your new wrap - you're right it will take you right into toddlerhood if you choose. I still use my didy for DD from time to time, plus it doubles as a great picnic blanket/den.

Belgrano do you have the infant insert for your Ergo? I've only ever helped someone else use one, but it looked pretty snuggly. You could also go for a woven wrap (for longevity) or a wilkinet like Chrisiana, which has the advantage of working well with newborns up to bigger babes, right against your chest like a wrap, but looks more like a baby bjorn so parents who wouldn't be comfortable with the hippier end of the sling market tend to be happier with it! They come up second hand quite a lot.

PrincessB we have a co-sleeper crib, but decided against the arms reach because it had that kind of ridge between the babe's mattress and the parents'. In the end, however, it just got used as an expensive shelf cos DD only wanted to sleep with her nose jammed in my armpit and then we got a travel bed guard. And yes yes yes I know they're officially not recommended for babies but we also bought an enormous bed so there was very little chance of any squishing going on. I'm wracking my brains to remember the make of our crib - we got it on ebay and it had just gone out of stock everywhere, so perhaps it's discontinued. I'll go and do some googling...

evie - got a similar fanjo/pants relationship just now! Keep worrying I'm leaking amniotic fluid, but the scan showed all volumes normal so it's obviously just me.

Did a pilates class today for the first time in 3 years. My head knows what muscles to use; my muscles, however, appear to have cut off diplomatic relations...

OP posts:
Misspaella · 04/03/2009 17:16

Mij I am as confused as ever.....as you are the lady with the sling low down what wrapround sling would you recommend that is easy to use from birth. I already have a baby bjorn from my other DC's which I don't mind using for when the baby has neck control. Advice welcome...I looked at the kari me and calin bleu and if I am honest they look the same.

Hunny I reckon if you are going to have a clingy baby you are going to have a clingy baby. My gf's DD was very clingy and she was always in a pushchair for walks and never in a sling. She has since grown out of her clinginess and a very social toddler.

Maid I can't believe you interviewed a nanny who wanted a specific pram!!! That is very very cheeky. It would have made me laugh out loud during the interview.

Hi to everyone else.

I can't believe I am over halfway (just but still, OVER HALF DONE). I feel pregnant too in a good way. Feeling the little bubba and looking pregnant not just fat. I will be cursing the waddling stage before long though.

Christiana you probably feel shattered still as you already have another DC. I feel the same. I need matchsticks to keep my eyes open at times but I know why - my little terrors. There is no rest with them around. Don't you just long for a weekend where there is a lie in and no one to cater to?

lydiathetattooedlady · 04/03/2009 18:03

misspaella you've beaten me to the question of asking about a wrap sling for newborn as i have a ringsling and a hotslings pouch but would prefer to have baby secure and closer so i ask the same question to you to mij! i used a tomy carrier before i discovered slings when dd was about 6 months but it was the most horrendous contraption and made my fat seep through all the harness and clasp holes!
it sounded in my previous post that i did think it made clingy babies but i meant dd preferred me to her daddy but i think that it is a given that a child will favour one to the other for certain things, i.e, when she was hungry she wanted me as she was breastfed but daddy was definately more for playtime!
i agree with the research that you've found mij in that it can make more sociable babies as my dd was a VERY early talker. at her one year check up the health visitor was suprised at how much she could say! she's now nearly two and holds very good conversations. took her to her first toddler group this morning ( i know, bad mummy for not taking her sooner but its hard to fit them in around work!) and she couldnt wait to run off despite no real previous interaction with younger children as she comes to work with me and spends most of her time with adults!
wiltedrose i love the look of the bibi ride on, the shop is in granthem i think which is actually my bus route so think i may have to take pram there to see if it will fit on as dd will love it!
last final question to all you ladies is did you regret either way finding or not finding out the sex of your baby?? we're still so up in the air about whether to or not so was wondering if anyone had any previous regrets either way, which may help me make my mind up before next tuesday! with dd last time i had a scan at 16 weeks and the sonographer blurted out female so didnt really get to decide whether we wanted a suprise or not!

xxhunnyxx · 04/03/2009 18:49

Some good points there mij and misspaella I suppose it's all about getting a good balance and making sure your child interacts with lots of different people from an early stage. Since I'm having a boy, and if he's anything like his father, I doubt he will be very clingy anyway, more likely to be a little terror who will run away as soon as I turn my back for a second! lol. I know it's impossible to predict your child's personality but I just have a feeling he's gonna be a little cheeky horror but I love little boys like that so that's fine with me .

I'm feeling very pregnant today, I've started to notice the weight of the bump a lot more, I tried to run across the road today and noticed this huge bump bouncing around! I love it tho

lydia i couldn't decide whether to find out either but when i saw him on the screen i just wanted to know, I feel like I've fallen even deeper in love with him since finding out but part of me still would have liked the surprise. I dont think there's a right or wrong answer, u wont regret either decision x

QueenFee · 04/03/2009 20:18

Lydia I have no regrets about not finding out although I was tempted! I just remember how nice it was having a suprise with the other 2.

re moses baskets et I had a swinging crib (family heirloom ) and they are a bit bigger so see them till about 5 mths or sitting up and you can still put it into the big cot to help transitions. If you were to shop carefully on ebay they are selling about £20. I put both of mine in their own rooms at about 5/6 weeks as they were noisy and I was tired. I thought the SIDS recommendation was 6 months in your room? ah yes see here
I always felt bad about it but a baby needs sane parents!

Anyone got any reccomendations for a changing bag? I wore my last 3 out and wondered if there are any good ones on the market. I did see a lovely brown one that looked like a handbag in toyrus today but very feminine so not sure DH would be so happy using it.

ilikeyoursleeves · 04/03/2009 20:36

Hi all, loads of posts since I was last here! Can I ask a sling question too? I thought that the baby has to lie flat for the first 3 months or so due to their developing backs, so given that they are all squashed up in a sling would this cause them any harm? We have a papoose that we had for DS but only really used that from about a month onwards and ideally I'd like one to use ASAP to see if we can get by with DS in buggy and baby in sling.

Also, I got really sore pains in my abdomen tonight, felt like I really needed to fart! I sat on the loo for ages but not much came out (sorry TMI!), it's gone now but what do you think that was? I had BH's last time but can't remember them ever being painful?

ilikeyoursleeves · 04/03/2009 20:39

Queenfee I've never really used changing bags as such (well, tried a Skiphop one but put it on ebay), I just use huge bags from Accessorise or somewhere. Lots more choice, loads of room in the bag too. I have one with handbag straps and also a long across the shoulder strap so it goes across the pram handlebar.

EvieBear · 04/03/2009 20:39

ilike sounds like wind pains to me! I get them every so often and find getting down on all fours (hilarious) really helps to let it escape! good luck!

really have to think about moses basket and cot set-up that i will have... it is my first so have no clue

dannyg · 04/03/2009 21:07

Evening lady's glad everyone seems well, 21 weeks+1 now, have 6 spots on face all at once not a good look, seem to be plagued by tieredness too. Soooooooooooo excited got scan tomo at half 11 finally get to check bubs out again & find out if I'm having a 3rd boy or first girl. Not looking forward to drinking a ltr of water beforehand though hate that busting for a wee feeling!!!!. bubs is very active now lots of jumping and kicking, must be all them ice lolly's n custard creams i keep eating. Off to centre parks Fri too not sure how I'm gonna get on riding a bike let alone balance lol on a plus note looking forward to lots of swimming but disappointed i cant go on shoots & rapids. x x

Misspaella · 04/03/2009 21:12

Ilikeyousl I think it is just horrendous trapped wind. I'm snacking on wind-eze like it's chocolate.

Isn't pregnancy glamourous.

Oh re moses basket we got ours as a hand-me-down and DS hated it! He had to go in a cot from 5 weeks. BUT DD loved it and we had to pry her out of it at nearly 4 months (she was all cocooned in it). I guess if you can get one cheaply (or free) the try it. But I really wouldn't spend to much money for a moses basket or crib. The cot is the real investment as they stay in it for years. Well only my humble opinion.

Phoenix · 04/03/2009 21:13

Evening

You've all lost me with the sling talk. I never had one with ds and haven't really thought about it for this one.

Re. pushchairs, we've decided to use our Urban Detour 3-wheeler while the baby is little then once he is 3mth old we'll use ds' Maclaren Quest. He's mostly walking everywhere now anyway. We did buy a Maclaren Techno XT to use from birth but it's still in the box and it seems silly to keep it when we've got a perfectly good 3 wheeler and a yr old Quest so i'm going to put it on Ebay.

Re. changing bags, i used a Disney Tigger bag for ds and this time i've got the free Boots one you get when you join the Parenting Club

Ds went into his own room when he was 7 week old. Before that he was in our room in a moses basket for a few weeks then a travel cot. We've still got the moses and travel cot so will probably do the same this time.

Ds is been so cute. I've told him the babys name is Noah (if he is actually a boy ), he can't say it properly and says nona. He's been saying it all day today. At least no one else will know what he's saying so he won't let slip that we (maybe) know its a boy

Hope everyone's doing ok. Good luck for any scans coming up. Hope yours is ok tomorrow Belgrano

My manager wants me to call into work tomorrow to discuss what i'm going to be doing when i go back to work. I need to go on light duties cos my normal job was leaving my back in agony.

ilikeyoursleeves · 04/03/2009 21:30

Re moses baskets, I didn't use one, DS slept in his carrycot part of the pram at first (Quinny Buzz). We just took it off the pram chassis and it lay on the floor beside us at night. Then he moved up to using his crib (we tried to use this from the start but he was so teeny (lowest weight 4lb 10oz) he looked lost in it) and he then went into his cot at 5 months old.

Yes I think it must have been trapped wind- it came when I was reading DS his bedtime stories and I promptly had to finish them and rush to the loo!

Good luck for tomorrow dannyg and belgrano (and anyone else who has scans!) x

lydiathetattooedlady · 04/03/2009 21:35

im glad im not the only one with terrible wind! i didnt have it with dd, and dp has never heard (or smelt!!) me parp until this pregnancy. it was so bad the other day he went searching the downstairs convinced the dog had poohed somewhere until i shamefully fessed up!

PrincessButtercup · 04/03/2009 21:46

Wow - lots of action here today! I think we're all hotting up a bit now we're hitting the half way mark!

Mij thanks for the sling advice. I am in awe of your knowledge & thanks also for the comments re the cot. I think you're right, that even if we have one, I'll end up with baby next to me and DH perched on the very edge of the bed...perhaps a bigger bed is in order!

Lydia The reasons for sleeping on your right side are set out here: www.askbaby.com/sleep-positions-for-pregnancy.htm . I'm using the Dream Genii pillow and it's helping hugely. Quite ££ but my DH says it's worth it as, so far, it's also prevented me from snoring (apparently I snore like a bison when pregnant ).

Re your finding out the sex question: I have absolutely no regrets about finding out with any of my pregnancies. I don't really see what there is to regret. I definitely take my hat off to all those of you who can hang on for the big B-day surprise though; I have no patience whatsoever!

maidinamerica As everyone seems to be saying, Moses baskets are definitely handy for those early days when baby sleeps so much of the time; makes it much easier to cart them about the house. Also, they appear to be so much cosier than they would be in a cot when tiny. I wouldn't expect to use one for more than 6 weeks though so definitely a "borrow" if possible.

ooh and changing bags!! I loved, loved, loved the Storksak I had with DD. Having had the standard ugly practical backpacky/courier bag things with DS, I fell in love with my Storksak bag as soon as I saw it. A changing bag that actually looks like a handbag that you'd want to carry - fantastic. Pricey but my cost per use definitely made it worthwhile. I'm definitely looking forward to choosing my next one (DH will just have to get his own!).

PrincessButtercup · 04/03/2009 21:48

Oops, meant reasons for sleeping on your LEFT side, sorry!

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