Due in September 2009 - Calling all the Christmas and New Year BFPs! thread 2

[silentlywondering]

The other thread was too long and wouldn't let me add a new message.

I am 8+3 and as my previous m/c's have been at 9 weeks.

Sorry to hear there's still so much sickness about - hopefully everyone will start to feel much better soon.

Interesting stuff about Stem Cell donation - hadn't thought of it, but will look into it.

Great number audrey

I think my friends are on a mission to make me feel rotten. One friend yesterday, who went to see her brother's newborn at the weekend, said 'babies are really dull aren't they?'. She recently had a horrible miscarriage so I don't know if it was defensive on her part, trying not to feel too much, but she made comments about me not drinking and when I tried to make light of it and said I'd be 'boring for the whole summer' she just agreed with me. Today my other friend (who is actually ttc) said I shouldn't let it change my life or me, and the baby shouldn't become the focus of my life. I feel a bit , and like I'm getting it all wrong, even though I'm only 14 weeks. Am I hormonal or should they think before they speak? Bah. Feel a bit better just putting it on here

liz there's always people out there who cannot bring themselves to be happy for you. Yeah babies change your life, but only for the better as far as I'm concerned! I do have friends who see their children as a hindrance. What is the point of having children if that's the case? Hey, wait til people start sharing their horror stories about giving birth with you....that's a classic! Oh they crawl out of the woodwork with tales of all kinds. I was able to go back to those people and tell them how enjoyable and exciting I found childbirth. It's a shame when friends react in a negative way, just try to ignore it and put it down to jealousy!

ps, sorry if I ranted a bit then, but it really does annoy me when people have to make negative comments. hormonal that's a question I've had to ask myself recently. The way I try to decide whether I'm being unreasonable is by sitting back and asking myself if I would have reacted any differently if I wasn't pg. Unfortunately, some people do not have the ability to think before they speak!

Thanks blue76 Maybe there is some jealousy in there given their positions. I'll try and forget about it for now, and hope they're back to their usual lovely selves soon.

Looking forward to birth horror stories. Not.

lizlemon, my son IS my focus of my life, and things just couldn't be otherwise. and that is perfect the way it is, though i'm quite sure my non-babied friends think that it's quite crazy and incredibly boring. it's just different and i wouldn't change it for the world. don't worry what other people say or do, you've got a very special little person inside you who is going to make you very happy (and a little frustrated at times too )

I have been rubbish at posting this week - sorry!

The great news iS the scans went really well
yesterday, in fact they probably couldn't have been better! The heart specialist said the heart looked completely normal and the consultant told us from the detailed scan that he did that again, as far as he could tell everything was developing completely normally and that 20 week scan should be fine. As you can imagine I haven't stopped grinning since! It was amazing that the measurements that they were taking were so tiny.... The heart is about 1cm and even the femur was less than 2cm. Incredible!

Then when we got back from the hospital later my ILs had arrived and then spent the rest of the evening entertaining and preparing for today, which is my DD's 2nd birthday. Just haven't stopped all day - had a few kids here and luckily we were mostly out in the garden. DD has been spoilt rotten but has been so good. Can't believe my little girl is 2!

Hope you're all doing OK - will do my best to be a bit better at posting next week.

kookykid, such great news. so happy foryou

and happy birthday to your gorgeous DD! I don't care what people say about 'terrible twos', i really think 2 is such a fabulous age.

lizle for you that your friends are being a bit unsupportive one of your friends is just down from here mc and the other i suspect is jealous as you are pg and she is not - these are not excuses! i assume this is your first? from my experience having my ds and totally turned my life upside down but for all the right reasons - our world totally revolves around him and me and dp quite often sit there of a night and discuss how fantastic he is and how we wouldnt be without him. i love being a mummy! also i agree with blue76 wait til all the comments start coming about labour and sleepless nights etc...oh and my favourites are when the babies arnt walking and everyone takes delight in warning you to make the most of it while they are not on the move and make it out to be some terrible thing once the babies start crawling/toddling. This was my favourite part! i love it now ds is on the move.

kooky - great news on the scan and happy birthday to your dd

we are off to a new playgroup this morning (quite excited) had my first midwife appointment yesterday and she couldnt get my blood which is a common complaint! so its off to the hospital monday when i also see the consultant and have my first scan yyeeeeyyyy!!!! so excited cant wait, although i keep getting little cringes of worry that nothing will be there or baby would have died (sorry to lower the mood but after my mc its just going to be a permanent fear during pregnancy)

enjoy the sunshine girls!! x

Kooky so glad to hear that :D Happy birthday to your DD

Snowfalls I went to bed last night and was feeling my tummy and I could feel my own pulse. Perhaps because there's more blood than usual down there? However, while I was doing it, I also felt a kind of odd bubbling sensation inside - that could have been the baby couldn't it? I think it's because I'd been lying so still and was concentrating on it, otherwise I probably wouldn't have noticed.

Thanks iamamummy & audrey. The thing is I'm feeling quite accepting of the fact that things are going to change in ways I can't even imagine (it is my first), and that whatever I expect it probably won't be like that. I waited a long time to get pg so I could actually focus on having a child instead of wishing I could be doing something else. I'm hoping that my friend who had the mc will be okay when I see her today. We've been talking and talking and talking about everything since she got pg when I was ttc, and then she mc just before I got pg, and she was brilliant when I went for my second scan at the FMC freaking out about the nasal bone, but she's only just had the all clear from her dr, at the same time I had to put on maternity jeans because I'm obviously rounder. It's just been crappy timing all round. You get to your mid 30s and think you can handle anything but this whole baby thing brings up so many new emotions.

Anyway, it's yet another sunny day, and I have to go and buy a swimsuit, because I've got a spa day on Monday, courtesy of DH

Afternoon laides, woohoo friday at last!
liz i am there with you about people being negative & telling horror stories.
There is this one woman at work who has told me all about her two natural births, her "months of endless, sleepless nights" and how sore her boobs were from breast feeding, and just moments ago announced to me (and the rest of the office) that I won't be wearing high heels when my ankles go puffy, and my feet swell up, not to mention how uncomfatble I will get "waddling around in them!".
Im so sick of people who keep telling me their horror stories of labour, I just reply with I haven't thought that far yet and I'm trying not too... Why can't people just say, enjoy every moment you have before and after the birth!
Sorry moan over!

here here mumtobe23!! i feel your pain! i remember it all so well first time round and now as ds is only 13 months and i am 1/3 of the way their with another - all i hear is how hard my life will be with 2 under 2. i just reply well actually i am really looking forward to it and i like a challenge

i am 14 weeks and felt a flutter, thought it was too early but remember being 16 weeks with DS#1 so i guess this being the third it is possible. Happening bit more frequently now. Quite nice knowing that its active in there.

Good luck for everyone going for scans, it is nerve racking, until they say theres the heart beat you are so tense. Once he said that i could breath again.

Have good weekend, enjoy lovely sunshine x

Second that iamamummy - my dd is 13months too and everyone seems to think I'm mental getting pregnant with another one - they keep saying "ooo that wasn't very well planned then?!" er, well actually this pregnancy was totally planned and I can't wait to have 2 under 2!
Being a Mum is the best thing in the world - I'd have at least 6 kids if I could afford it! My labour was a total horror story but it was worth every second to get my beautiful daughter (although admittedly for the first few hrs after birth you couldn't have paid me a million quid to do it again!!)By the time dd was 1 day old we were planning the next one.

Children are little reminders of heaven sent straight from the angels themselves, anyone fortunate enough to be blessed with just 1 of them is a very lucky person!

Fairysparkles - people are so damn rude sometimes aren't they. Thankfully the only person who has asked me if this baby was planned is the m/w (standard question).

Kooky - great news Now you can relax and enjoy the rest of the pregnancy.

So glad it's the weekend. It's been a busy week.

Happy Mothers Day to all existing mums and mums-to-be (I got my first mothers day card when pg with ds)

Ahh I'm not afraid to share by labour stories with anyone - I loved EVERY minute of it. Yeah it hurt like hell but my god it was worth every contraction! I am very very squeamish so it was the delivering of the afterbirth i hated the most! Oh and getting stitched up, lying there, legs akimbo and in stirrups, convinced I'd split a vital part of my fanjita, with my dh and mother at the other end of the bed taking photos of each other holding baby. Oh and not being able to move the bowels for 7 days, but dh decided to go to the loo (which I hasten to add was directly off the living room) on day 5. Needless to say the mw didn't believe me when I insisted I hadn't been for a p**! I never did forgive him for that. The mw then went on to ask me if I remembered what I was saying when she was stitching me up. Poor woman was so embarrassed.

Had to go to epu AGAIN today. Bleeding again this morning. They couldn't find a source and said it just happens sometimes.

Oh and one more little thing. I think that handsome young docs should NOT be allowed to qualify as gynecologists. I had to be internally examined by one such doc today. Oh the shame of it!! Thank god I did the bikini line this morning!

Hi The house inside my mummy book is great we inherited it from my SIL.
My firend also has these two
waiting for baby and my new baby which she looked at with her little boy. They don't have words so you can talk lots about the pictures. Another good book is The baby's catalogue which is great for talking about familys.
I'm happy to talk about my labour too. I had an elective C section and had an ECV before that as DD was breech. I wrote about it for our local NCT magazine so can send people it if they want.
I also have two Documents from another mumsnetter about how to make your elective c section more personal. In the end I went into laboutr two days before my section date so I hadn't read it, nor had I tidied up the ladygarden so had to be dry shaved with the nasty bic razor!!

Totally irrelevant but.....GO WALES!!!!!

Hope everyone enjoying the lovely weather.

Have also thought I felt bubs moving today, hoping I did as I would be gutted if it was just wind! Did feel different though.... Would it be too early at 15+1 for a 1st? Have lost loads of weight so not much of me at the moment and bump is quite big so prehaps am more sensitive to nerve endings!

Am looking forward to hearing birth stories from those who've BTDT!, I dont know anyone in RL who is pg, and the only story I've heard is a story of forceps, stirrups, failed epidurals etc, everyone else is strangely quiet on the subject, even my mum will only say that her longest labour was 4 hours! Am not scared at this early stage, but would like to be prepared..!

I planned a waterbirth with ds but had to be induced because I had meconium in my waters when they broke (baby did a poo!). Sometimes it means the baby is in distress, but also it could mean the baby is mature and ready to be born (as in ds's case). I won't lie - inductions (via drip) are painful but gas and air is great. I had an epidural as well because tens didn't work and the contractions were so painful. It was a 14 hour labour (4 hours pushing). They underestimated ds's size - he was 91b 3. Needed ventouse. Though painful, it wasn't a traumatic birth by any means and I forgot all about it the minute my beautiful boy was passed to me. I was a bit weak to hold him but they put him on my chest and dh held him. Having a baby is a wonderful experience There are so many variables in childbirth - I don't know anyone who's had a completely predictable childbirth iyswim.

Difficult to be fully prepared, certainly the first time (and also it seems that every experience if different).

With dd was in labour for 7 hours. I wasn't really prepared for it hurting . Had epidural. All well.

With ds I decided to do hypnobirthing and ante-natal yoga - neither of which I can recommend too highly. Both brilliant. PLanned a homebirth but on the night no midwives available. I had used the experience I had with dd to almost ignore the whole early contraction bit. Went to tumble tots-esque thing with dd. Chilled in the paddling pool. Just kept telling myself it wasn't labour. IN the end gave birth nearly 3 hours from the first "definite" contraction, about 40mins after getting to hospital. Was brilliant though. Was home about 3 hours later (I was pretty insistent, and having booked a homebirth and not had one, I think the hospital staff were understanding of my need to be at home asap). They had wanted me to stay in because was evening and no paeditrician to do the formalities. BUt as I argued, if I'd been at home as planned there wouldn't have been a paed there and agpars were 9 and 10 and no concerns.

I look back to ds's birth and compare it with dd's and can see why is was a more calm and relaxed event. I was more mobile, more relaxed myself, and made sure not to get into "this is it!" mode too early, whereas with dd I wasted about 48 hours waiting for things to properly kick in and not relaxing and resting.

Anyway - would like this one to be similar to ds's birth. But am aware that the best laid plans..... We shall see.

Happy Mother's Day Ladies

Sorry that i have been awol this week but havent had much time due to dd having chicken pox.

at those people who have to give you negative feedback to pg and birth. Just because they had a bad time doesnt mean that everyone does.

I have 'suffered' with nausea 3 times now but i thank my lucky stars that i havent gone through it as bad as some of you lovely ladies.

Both my births have been totally different. Ds (4 next month) was not too bad for a 1st. Contractions started at 01.30 and he was born at 18.11. Officially went to hosp (got sent home the first time) at about 2pm after managing on paracetamol. Got offered the birth pool as it was empty, got in at 3pm and was out again by 4.30. MW checked me and was told that i was 6cm. Wailed for an epidural as the G&A made me retch so stopped that after about 5mins. Didnt manage to get an epidural as an hour later i was ready to push, despite the mw telling me i had at least 4 hrs to go. Ds was born at 18.11 without any pain relief. I got a 2nd degree tear and have to say that the stitches hurt way more than giving birth. He weighed 7lbs15.5oz. He was born at 40+6 and took from start to finish 16hrs 40mins.

Dd was a shock arrival at 36+3. Spent 2 hours on the sofa thinking i was just having braxton hicks. Went to bed at 11pm and whilst taking my make up off my waters went (didnt go with ds until just before he was born) and they were full of blood. Luckily that day i had packed my bag and just had toiletries to pack. Dh phoned hosp, i called my mum.. Got to hosp at 11.40pm, had a scan to see if she was still breech, thankfully she had turned and was examined and told 2-3cm. Hooked up to a monitor so wasnt free to move around. Couldnt cope with pain like i did last time as it seemed so quick. Had a shot of pethadine at about 2.30am and managed to have a snooze as did my dh and mum. About an hour later i could start feeling the contractions again (had been told i would have about 4hrs relief), then really wierdly (not really a word) a voice came in my head and said 'you've been here before and know what happens now'... MW came in to see if i was ok and when i replied that i thought i needed to push she almost laughed at me, checked and said i was almost fully dilated and probably just needed a bowel movement...... so thats what we all geared up for....... you can imagine the shock when dd flew out in a gush of water and not the poo that we had all been expecting She was born at 03.54 and weighed 5lbs 10.5oz. She took just under 5hours and i didnt need any stitches.

I have no idea how this birth will pan out.... will it be early, late or on time..... the mw has said to expect it to be quick, but i dont think i will focus on that too heavily so that i am not disappointed if it takes a while.

A friend of mine is 27wks with her 1st and was asking me about birth plans.... I havent ever made one. I think whilst it is good to have down on paper what you think you might like, i think you also have to remember that not everything always goes to plan. I know that some ladies are very lucky and get the birth that they planned, but that isnt the case for everyone. Sometimes having something so set in your mind can just set you up for upset and disappointment. My 'plan' has always been to have dh & my mum present, for dh to cut the cord and for me to have whatever pain relief is necessary to get me from start to finish. Anyway, not sure if that makes sense or is of any help to anyone. Birth is an amazing thing, whether it is natural, assisted or via the sun-roof and either way you get something very special at the end of it

Happy mothers day everyone!

I had diamorphine and gas and air with DD1. Fell asleep between each contraction and started talking about absolute rubbish! Decided that i would never go with that form of pain relief again, as it wasn't for me.

When in labour with DD2, I don't know what came over me but I didn't want ex DH anywhere near me (I made him sit on the other side of the room). I had a little old mw who fussed over him, making him cups of tea and sandwiches! She was fantastic. She didn't patronize me and when I told her I was ready to push, she didn't even check to see how dilated I was - she just said 'if you feel like that baby's gonna come out, then you push, my dear'. Due to suffering from spd with, I was advised to give birth on my side. Have to say it was LOADS easier than lying on my back.

This time (10 years later), my mw has nearly persuaded me to have a home birth. She said that women find it more relaxing and the delivery usually goes more smoothly. The only thing that concerns me is the lack of mw's. When my friend went into labour a couple of years ago, she arrived at our local hospital. The words were, 'for god's sake, don't give birth tonight love, we've only got 4 mw's on and 11 women in labour!' Well her baby arrived 30 mins later, so they didn't get a choice!

I was very fortunate in that both of my DD's made smooth entrances into the world.

One thing I do remember - I feared childbirth for the whole of my first pg until the last 4 weeks or so. By then it was a case of 'get it out of me, I wanna meet him/her!' Not to mention being absolutely huge and fit to bursting!

As we seem to be sharing birth stories thought i would also post mine.

DS now 5 was born at 40+12 having been induced at 40+11. I was given some prostin at about 11.45 and after lying down for 1/2 an hour we went for a walk around the hospital perimeter to try and get things moving. Before we got back I was having pulling pains really low down but not what I would call contractions. By 15.00 I was having irregular contractions and put my Tens on but that just annoyed me and was off within the hour. They said I wasn't in active labour and wanted to send DH and my mum home as visiting time was ending!! I cryed a lot and they persuaded the delivery ward to take me as I wasn't coping well with the pain. I had a shot of pethidine and then moved on to gas and air which I loved. Felt like having 10 vodkas in 30 seconds! Pain became absolutely unbearable but pushed on with lots of encouragement. Waters went about 10.30 but did not start pushing until about 6 hours later. Ds was back to back which slowed things down considerably. After 1 hour and 20 mins of pushing and a second degree tear DS was born at 05.45 weighing 8lb 10.5 oz. Felt incredibly traumatised and didn't want DS near me initially and took a good 2 days before I felt that rush of love that everyone talks about which was a bit of a shock.

DD now 3 was very different. My waters broke in bed (thought I had wet myself!)at 10.30pm at 40+2. As I had been told post birth of DS that I have Group B Strep I was told to go in and get checked. Midwife confirmed waters had gone and because I wasn't contractinig the consultant decided I should be induced as the barrier of protection for baby had now gone. Was given Prostin and started to contract but very irregular and not strongly so was moved to post natal ward and DH sent home for the night. By morning the contractions had stopped so I was given another dose of prostin and the same thing happened. At about 16.00 I stamped my feet with the midwifes and persuaded them to put me on a drip as I was worried about the amount of time my waters had been broken and the risk of infection to the baby. So at 18.00 my drip was started and the contractions came thick and fast. I had a wonderful midwife who let me sit in a rocking chair and I foound it really helpful to rock through each contraction. I know some people like to walk through them but I found that I had jelly legs and just couldn't. Gas and air was again wonderful but at 21.00 I felt like I needed something more so asked to be examined and given pethidine. At 21.15 I was 5 cm and at 21.30 was given pethidine thinking this was going to be hours more. Two minutes later I felt the urge to push. The midwife asked me not too, said I wasn't ready and I would make my cervix swell but when she lifted the sheet and had a look she was shocked to see baby's head crowning and DD was born at 21.36!!! So 3.5 hours from start to finish. DD was 9lb 14.5oz, no stitches and fell in love with her straight away. The pethidine then sent me to sleep for an hour with DD cuddled up beside me which was lovely.

It really is true that no 2 births are the same. I totally agree with April Meadow about being open-minded regarding your birth plan. My best advice I th ink is to welcome your contractions and not fight against them. This made a huge difference to me second time round and made for a much more relaxed and confident experience.

I have been referrred to the consultant this time because DD was so big but to be honest I have almost changed my mind completely. I did think that I would want to be induced early but I now have more confidence that I can deliver big babies. My body is clearly made for it and able to cope, so trying to have confidence in myself and resist any attempts to be pushed into an early delivery. Watch this space at 38 weeks when I am climbing the walls and begging for insduction!!!!

Happy Mother's Day

Thanks for posting all your birth stories, ladies. As a first timer I find them incredibly reassuring. My mw is part of a team who specialise in homebirths - I'm considering it because hospitals freak me out and I have white coat syndrome, where your blood pressure increases just by being near medical people. (I was so happy when she took my blood pressure at home and it was perfectly normal). I guess in the end the aim is healthy baby, but I'm interested in the hypnobirthing - anything to help me feel less frightened if I do end up in hospital.

An update on my friends: I went out with one of them on Friday (who had been miffed about me not drinking) and it was fine - we talked again about how she feels about her mc, and I also realised there's a part of me that feels guilty, and that it should be her who needs maternity clothes. All a bit but I think we'll be ok.

Happy Mothers Day to all you mums out there!

Thanks so much for sharing your birth stories, really helped me realise that it seems best to keep an open mind and just go with the flow. Have not really been convinced by birth plans as I did not want to be disappointed if things did not happen the way I wanted/expected. Will look into hypnobirthing and yoga though, am not naturally the most relaxed person so any help will be welcome!!

Hope those still feeling totally yuk start to feel better really soon, have managed to have about 4 hours in the morning with much less sickness for the last 4 days which has been really nice as I can finally get some housework done (albeit a rather half hearted bit of dusting!)