Due May 2009 - Childbirth is getting closer and it's giving us the (blue) willies!!

[SpangleMaker]

In honour of llareggub's DS's painting experiments........

I think Im on the verge of some kind of break down this week, honestly I don't think it can get any worse!
After my trip up the hospital and being diagnosed with PGP on Monday, yesterday I got made redundant, am completly up shit creek without a paddle now!
I am now officially a SAHM and I have no idea what to do with myself, am at a complete loss.
Have also found out that as I havent officially worked there for 2 years Im not entitled to any redundancy pay! Crap Crap Crap!
Is anyone else here a SAHM? What do you do all day??
I feel like crying, I cant believe how bad things are getting.
DP keeps telling me not to worry etc etc but how can I not worry!
Someone come and bash some sense into me

Sorry to hear about your job loss chocolatebunnies. I was in a similar boat about 8 years ago now: pregnant and made redundant during my first pregnancy. I looked at it as an extended maternity leave, because I knew no one would hire me. I did enjoy being at home, though, I basically relaxed, rested, joined the library and a day time ante natal class (which back then were still in abundance) to meet people. Once the baby was there I actually didn't want to go back to work, because I'd miss my lo. It's amazing how babies change you, really, because I had never seen myself as a SAHM. Once your baby is there you'll have plenty to do and wonder what you were worried about all those months ago.

Chocolatebunnies- just seen your post- how awful- my heart goes out to you, but try not to worry, especially if DP thinks you'll both be OK. Worth a call to jobcentre plus and seeing what benefits you are entitled to- my DH works for DWP and says you should be entitled to statutory sick pay if your doctor signs you off and you will also be entitled to maternity allowance. Depending on your DPs income, you may also be entitled to income support/JSA (if you want to look for work) and your DP might be entitled to working families tax credit (if you weren't already claiming it). Take the time to relax if you can when you are a SAHM and hope your PGP is manageable.

Belgianchocs- that's interesting to know how MWs count the established labour. On my notes it said 16 hours labour which I assumed was because I arrived in hospital at midnight and was 7cm dilated, and gave birth at midday, so they included a few more hours before that when i would have been 3-4cm dilated.

chocolatebunnies so sorry to hear your news. When you said "officially you haven't worked there 2 years" what did you mean? How long do you think you've worked there? How many weeks are you? You may still be entitled to SMP from them. Email me on llareggubmn at gmail dot com if you prefer.

belgiancholcolates I'm starting aqua next week too. I went with DS and loved it, although ours was more about chatting really. Everyone thinks I'm mad going on mat leave at 29 weeks but I really struggled at aound 30 weeks last time, and I'd also like some time with DS before DS2 joins us.

Hello everyone.

This is my first post. Very much enjoyed reading previous posts, learning that what I'm going through am not going through alone! Am finally looking pregnant, which am so pleased about, but having grown out of all my regular clothes in under a week isn't that great! I'm currently managing to put together some very creative outfits until I get to the shops!

My best friend gets married the day before my due date, she's having a wedding dress crisis currently as Debenhams have just cancelled her order of her dress and now don't have it in stock at all!! She's spoken to a couple of boutiques today who have just laughed at the fact that she needs a size 16 dress by 2nd May! Fortunately she found one boutique who were very helpful, so we're going there on saturday - it's the least I can do as I may not even be there on the day!!

Happy wednesday evening everyone!

Llareggub - I started working for them in 2005, I went on Maternity leave in Sept 2006, I decided not to go back after so told them in Feb 2007 I wouldn't be back, then by June 2007 they couldn't find anyone to replace me so I decided to go back so officially I started again in July 2007, does that make sense?
Pulapula - I have no idea how the benefit system works, we dont get anything at the mo cuz I couldn't figure it all out.
I spoke to Jobcentre today and they said I could go on jobseekers 4 4 weeks before my SMP starts but it hardly seems worth it?
How would I get signed off by the Dr if Im not working? Or do you mean I could get sick pay because Im not working but my PGP means I cant go to work?
Does he know if I can get the surestart maternity grant because Im unemployed or will it depend on my dps earnings?
Belgian - I already have a 2yrold DD, think thats why its hit me so hard, more because I was relying on my job and wages to support us, but I've lost 3 months full wages before my materntitl pay starts.
Im so unbelievably down about it, I feel so shitty.
Everyone keeps saying "you didnt know if you were going to be going back anyway" but that was my fall back plan, atleast I had the option before.
I have no idea how Im going to be able to pay rent and bills now, my head hurts!

Welcome to the may thread Gert2a. Amazing you've managed to fit in normal clothes up til now. I've been in them since about 18-20 weeks and before that went through the horrible too big for normal and too small for maternity clotes stage. Hope your friend gets her wedding dress sorted soon.

llareggub that's exactly the reason why I'm starting my mat leave at 29-30 weeks too. I'm actually finishing off my annual leave first, I've got 2 weeks to take up before april, so my official mat leave doesn't start until 31 weeks. Last time I had PGP too and was a childminder and found it hard, so I always knew I'd start my mat leave early this time too.

chocolatebunnies llareggub is voicing my thoughts exactly. If your dp is not worried about the loss of your wages, then it should be OK. If you've worked then I'm sure you'll qualify for the maternity allowance from 29 weeks too. I did when I got made redundant and I had only worked 1 year all together of which 6 months as a temp. That was 8 years ago and the conditions are more generous now.

pulapula Your mws at the hospital will have made an educated guess about the start of your established from the history you gave on admission. E.g. you might have said you'd had tightenings all day, but they were OK and at around e.g. 5pm they became more regular and painful, so they'd take it from 5pm, IYKWIM. Being a mw means being a bit of a detective too

chocolatebunnies that was a cross post there, because I wrote this long essay I remember how awful it was when I lost that job back then, but in the long run it actually worked out for the best. It wasn't the most enjoyable job and it gave me the opportunity to change my life and think about what I really wanted to do. I ended up training as a mw and now I am in a better position than I would have ever been if I had stuck to my office job. So in the short term it might seem awful, but who knows this time next year you might find yourself in a better job you like even more. Keep your chin up, everything will work out fine

Gert welcome! We have a list somewhere with everyone's due date on. Have a look back and see if you can find it so you can add yourself!

chocolatebunnies I see what you mean now. I'm afraid you aren't entitled to any redundancy pay. Are you getting notice pay? You should get what is laid out in your contract or statutory notice of a week per completed year of employment. You still should get SMP from them if you are over 25 weeks pregnant, but I'll double check if you want. SMP is payable from 29 weeks. Don't forget they should pay up any outstanding holiday owed to you as well.

chocolatebunnies when you told them you weren't going back last time, did they tell you the date on which your employment ended?

chocolatebunnies- maybe my DH meant the new incapacity benefit rather than SMP? Think the surestart grant depends on your DPs earnings too.

If i was you i'd claim jobseekers allowance for 4 weeks - i'd grab everything i'm entitled to for now. At around £50-60 a week its a couple of hundred to spend on nappies, groceries etc.

Thanks for all your messages.
I hope your right Belgian lol!
Im trying to think positive, chocolate macaroons might be helping!
Llareggub - Im getting a weeks notice pay and yeah they still have to pay me my maternity pay because Im over 25 weeks, I was 25 weeks last Friday. Do you know if they still have to pay me the 90% of my wages for the first 6 weeks, even though I have already been made redundant?

Oh chocolate what crappy news - sending you big hugs and am sure that as Belgian says that all will work out but am sure its a worrying time. Deep breaths and try to keep calm, stressing is no good for you or your little bean! Get yourself some rescue remedy for the next few days to calm yourself down and think rationally about your options. Am sure that llare and a few others on here can help you wade through your entitlements - good luck girl and keep your chin up x

Yes, they do chocolatebunnies. The 90% of a weeks wages is a statutory payment. They can claim that back together with the weekly payment of £117 or whatever it is these days, so make sure you get that. Incidentally, why were you selected over others for redundancy?

chocolatebunnies

That's terrible, but your DP/H sounds ever so supportive.

Easy to say, but try not to stress too much.......

Welcome to the thread Gert - hope your friend gets a dress sorted soon!

Spangle Am free most Friday afternoons or usually at the weekends we have nothing on much - well not literally but you get my gist!! Would love to compare blue bumps over a latte so let me have your date options and we can get something in the diary(will have to write it down or will have no chance!!)

Off for a soak and very early night - DD up most of the night - she had a visit to the next room at nursery and think it unsettled her a fair bit - poor wee thing

Nighty night ladies - talk soon

Oh and Belgianchocs

Re the erm unexpected erm you know......I was telling my DH about the same thing yesterday, except mine was in a queue in a shop. I think it's the baby bouncing on certain bits - like the idea of the jacuzzi though.

chocbunnies, so sorry about your news. you're right to lean on choc macaroons (think I might have to go out and get some!). I think they would have to pay you 90% of your wages for the 1st six weeks. I've looked into what i may be getting paid and read that mat pay is calculated by your salary 8 weeks up until the 15th week before your due date.

they should let you know what your mat pay is going to be. I know I have to chase my employer for confirmation on that as well.

cross-posted llareggub's answer.

welcome Gert .

just getting guest room ready for in laws coming to stay friday (free time for meee!).

Llare - Thanks for all your help, Thats ok then, atleast I've got that to look forward to lol after 4 weeks of no pay until my materntity pay starts it'll be good to have almost normal money again for 6 weeks! Do you know anything about them paying all my materntity pay up front? I read somewhere that some places do that so that they can take you off their books straight away without having to pay me monthly? I have also found out that maternity pay goes up to £123 as of 6th April 2009.
I was picked and so was another girl I worked with, on a last in first out basis, so cant get them for discrimination!
Thanks for the support Detsy, and Grumpy.
It means so much to know I've got support on here too

It is worth asking I think. Easier for them too. Ask away, we've all needed help from time to time!

Chocolatebunnies- i would echo llareggub's sentiment - if you think you have been treated unfairly due to either being pregnant or being employed under 2 years, then worth speaking to ACAS?

chocbunnies, I took volunteer redundancy during mat leave with dd1 and the company paid me the lump sum upon my leaving date. It is worth asking.

pulapula I dont think I have been treated unfairly really, they've done what they had to do because they have no other option, its only a small company. I just think its unfair its me, back to being a 5 year old again, feel like just ringing em and shouting its not faaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiirrrrrrr! just feel sorry for myself!
Llare I asked em about it earlier and last I heard was cashier was waiting for someone to ring her back about it, its going to take forever to sort though! Im not sure whether having it in a lump sum is a good idea or not!