Due May 2009 - Childbirth is getting closer and it's giving us the (blue) willies!!

[SpangleMaker]

In honour of llareggub's DS's painting experiments........

chocolatebunnies One message here on MN and all your questions about your mat and redundancy pay have been answered. Amazing place isn't it?! Hope you'll get your money soon. You're right about lump sums: it's tempting to spend it all in one go!

grumpy I also had another unexpected you know what at work yesterday, just as I walked out of a room. Bet the couple burst out laughing the minute I closed the door. They'll be able to tell stories about their farting mw after their baby's born

I know belgian, Cant believe how I got by without MN before! I think I will put the money somewhere safe and have it transfered into my account monthly so Im not tempted to go mad!
Just out of curiousity,how long did it take you to train as a Midwife? What did you have to do?

SOooooo what should me and dd do tomorrow then? Need some inspiration!

Chocolatebunnies sorry to hear about your job, that's rough. Feels like someone has pulled the carpet out from underneath you doesn't it? Looks like you're getting some good info together here re redundancy pay and benefits etc..

Aside from the money aspect, which I know is important but could you think of some (small) projects you might do around the house or garden or whatever to keep your mind occupied, and would enjoy doing? around the neew baby of course.

I think an important part of being at work is the social side of things so maybe you'll be doing more mother and toddler groups. Actually being redundant without a job is possibly more lonely, maybe dfon't know. Not trying to minimise your situation. Best of luck with it.

I did a 3 year direct access degree course (i.e. I wasn't already a nurse). It was the hardest thing I've ever done. It's not only the course material, but also the emotional side of the course that's hard. On top of it I had a 2.5 yo and a 5.5 month old baby who was still breast feeding. You have to be prepared to work all shifts, full time, and do your academic work on top of that. To get onto the course you need to have A-levels or have done the access to health care course. After that it's a case of applying to universities and hoping to get in as there are a lot more applicants than places.

How about taking our dd swimming if it's raining or just going to the park when it's not?

Off to bed now, another early start tomorrow

Where is everyone tonight?

I'm still up llareggub!

Not sure why as i'm tired...

chocolatebunnies - sorry to hear your news. you will need to keep busy - find things to do. Keep to a routine - ie try to get up the same time every day etc. I was put on long tern sick in Feb 07 and my ds lived with my mum about 30 miles away. I couldn't drive to take him to school. It was awful and I understand the need to keep busy etc. Ultimately I got a medical retirement in August 08, but at least I was getting paid. I also have a very supportive hubby, and somehow you manage with what you've got. You should be able to get incapacity benefit because of your PGP/SPD, although I understand this benefit only kicks in once you've been 'signed off sick' by your GP after a certain amount of weeks - from memory I think it's 26 weeks. I too find the benefits system very complex and unfortunatley there is no 'one stop shop' to speak to one person who can tell you what you can claim for. And some of the benefits are means tested so if your dh has a decent job you may not get as much.

Welcome Gert2a - why on earth did Debenhams cancel your friend's order??? That sounds very mean!

Our Sky system started squeeling at me tonight and when I went about my usual routine of trying to fix the problem the 'ariel' cable came out. I replaced it and sincec then I don't have a satelite connection. SO... DH then had a go at trying to fix it. THen I phoned Sky and the guy arranged for an engineer to call with me on Friday (13th!!) for £65. Told DH and he flipped!!! So he phoned Sky and gave off. So I think I'll cancel the subscription. DOnt think the area I live in supports freeview. So I'm back to BBC1 & 2 UTV and Channel 4!!!

Opinions please!!!!! Do you think I am MAD?????!!!!!!!
I will be 40 in the next few weeks. There;s something I have been wanting to do for the past few years but my hairdresser keeps talking me out of it! I have been dying my hair since my early 20s and change colour nearly every season! But I can never find a colour I'm totally happy with. I would love to get the colour stripped out and find out what my natural colour is! I may love it - I do have a lot of grey and temples are probably grey or even white!! What's the worst that can happen??? I don;t like it and ask to go copper!!!!! Or the hairdresser may be able to suggest something to use my natural colour but enhance it slightly?? My hair is naturally wavy with a frizz if it gets wet! It is shoulder length with layers and a long fringe. Dh goes away to Bulgaria on 21st or a week & I was thinking of doing it when he's away!!! What do you all think???? Would you dare to bare!!

Divedaisy- I wasn't aware you could have the colour stripped out, so I'm guessing its not permanent colouring.

I think it would be interesting to see, and like you say, if you don't like it, you can choose something new!.

I very rarely colour my hair - but i always think that when/if i go grey, thats when i will start colouring lol. My mum still isn't grey at 60 so i'm hoping it won't happen too soon.

pulapula - I only know about it because a friend of my mums got hers stripped out. Yes it is permanent colour - lovely copper at the minute, but Ihate it when it grows out a bit and I see the regrowth clashing with it! I may need to do a google search to see if it is possible to strip permenent colour out.

Hi everyone
I haven't posted for a while but I've been reading.

I saw my midwife for the first time in 3 months this week and found out I have a new one as my original one left at christmas.
New one's really nice, she told me that we are measuring 4 to 5 wks larger than we should be so have to have another scan to check size and amount of water plus the baby is in the completely wrong position transverse with it's back up and feet curled underneath!!!

Belgianchocolates at your unexpected jacuzzi... i've have had unexpected wind too but so far no one but ds has been around to hear them and he just thinks it's extremly funny!

Gert2a Big hello [insert waves manically emoticon] your best friend must be very about her dress order being cancelled and in a real panic. A size 16 is not an out of the ordinary size but i think most bridal shops stock 12/14 for people to try on from memory. I have made wedding dresses in the past and there would be just enough time (cutting it fine) to get one made if she could find a dressmaker with a free slot. Or maybe a shop would be willing to sell their demo/try on one if that was acceptable to her. If she goes for a style that laces up the back (in her size) they are quite adjustable if she's not a regular size all over ie. you can pull it tighter or let it out to get a perfect fit on the bodice... without having to then get it altered. In weston-super-mare we have a shop called 'big beautiful brides' and they specialise in larger bride sizes (of which her size 16 would be small for them) it might be worth giving them a ring for a chat... their website is bigbeautifulbrides & their free phone number is 0800 389 4351

chocolatebunnies so to hear your redundancy news. What a huge shock! I am a stay at home mum too (and carer/helper of my mum). 3 mornings a week DS has something on... either playgroups or tumble tots kind of activities. I try and meet up with a few friends who have dc's of his age one afternoon a week also. So out of the 5 days during the week we only have one day to ourselves... but even then if i get desperate for adult conversation i know another playgroup to go to for lunch/afternoon on that day So basically my week is filled with ds's outside activities, or keeping him occupied at home, assorted household stuff(washing/cooking/cleaning) & running errands for my parents... Then DH is home for the weekend. I try to get out most days so I don't get cabin fever! Our local council website lists all the playgroups in our area... maybe your does something similar? My favourite of DS's groups is the tues am playgroup in one of the local churches... it only costs £1.50 and they provide plentiful tea/coffee etc/hot toast/fruit/biscuits/cakes for all. So while ds plays with their large selection of toys and other kids I get to have a natter and something to eat

divedaisy I think you've got nothing to lose getting the colour stripped out as long as it won't affect any colour you may want to dye your hair if you don't like it!

bantam73 4 - 5 wks larger must have been a but another scan to look forward to is always great ! glad your new midwife is really nice.

morning all.
as usual,finding it difficult to concentrate on the job so looking on ebay, MN, F/book, etc.
i guess the good part of my hours/income going down is that I don't have to work long days anymore. the loss of income is disheartening (as I'm going to take a blow on SMP) but it sounds like it's tough all around. I'm going to check, anyway, with my employer to see if they'll bump up to the standard SMp as, until Nov, I was working enough hours/income to have reached standard SMP level. like someone (llareggub?) said earlier, it doesn't hurt to ask.

divedaisy, i think you should strip it as, if you don't like it, you can get re-coloured. off the subject, what are you doing for your 40th? anything special?

I'm turning 40 this year too and was going to start colouring my greys. then noticed pregnancy has made my hair fuller, shinier and the greys have now gone hidden. I bet you won't find many.

Hello everyone - soz about lack of postiness, having a busy week with studying and work and general blaaaaah...

pulapula - promise to reply to you later

detsy - is your bump called pip? So's ours! Except mine is a pink flavour!

Very about the jujuje bags purchases - I SO WANT ONE but dp wants a sensible generic one he can carry. Pffft he can have that for himself!

Right, I'd like some honest opinions about names... not many people know we are having a pink one, so am limited to who I can ask re: opinions!

Harriet (Harri for short - currently the fave)
Matilda
Alexandra
Beatrice
Jemima
Imogen
Megan
Charlotte

.... and Elizabeth as a 2nd name. It was my Nan's second name - her first name was Ada and I daren't give that to the poor thing!

Ta!

sausagenmash, i loooove Harriet and wish we could use it but DH won't because it is the name of an ex (long time ago though, how petty!).

2nd choice Imogen. Another lovely name but a close friend has an Imogen unfortunately.

I love Harriet, Imogen and Beatrice in that order saus. My young cousin is Arianne and she is called Arri for short which is a bit like Harri, I think its great.

I'm thinking about "Valmai" again - its my grandmothers name, was put off by my mother (it was her mothers name so I wasn't expecting this) who said she hated it. I love it and it means Mayflower which is so relevant. My grandmothers full name was Valmai Marie Ivanhoe Spencer.

I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed today. Or recently in general. I'm terrified of what sort of parent I will make. I can lose my patience and temper so easily. The possible negative realities of being disabled and mothering and labouring feel like a meal that won't go down. I've been really positive so far and I won't let it get me down but today - could do with one of those cries that just clear the crap. I don't want to talk about it with either my DP or my mother because I don't want them to think I can't cope because then I will think I can't cope and then I won't be able to cope.

Chocolatebunies it must be a rude scary shock, sorry to hear about your redundancy. I guess just look for the positives in being able to be at home - such as being able to really look after your body at this time, get all the sleep you need, spend time with your LO before baby comes...I can think of loads of things you could do at home, but it depends on your taste, so the main piece of advice I can offer is to stay away from the computer or else you find you spend the entire day replying to emails...or reading about nappies....I work at home again now after some years of sharing studios, and from chatting to other people doing the same in my field, we all had to get over the hurdle of being glued to the screen before a better routine settled. Although with a little child you might not have the luxury of that becoming a problem. You'll be fine, as Belgian said, the chances of bigger and better things are high and with your partner being supportive, it could just as easily be the beginning of something wonderful.

And to end this epic, I saw Vicki Cristina Barcelona last night, it was hilarious and the whole cinema roared with laughter all the way through, so anyone who needs a laugh right now, I thoroughly recommend it.

Polony, will check out that film as I need a good laugh as well.
About being overwhelmed - that is a normal thing for pregnant women to feel let alone the specific worries you have. try to ride with your anxieties and talk about it if you can - use us here if you can't find anyone aroundyou. it helps to vent and you'll find you're not alone.

about being patient, i screamed at my dd's the other day because DD1 asked for a different yoghurt in a whiney voice after i'd just opened one for her. how trivial but i'd built it up all day and couldn't stand another whinge/crying child, etc. Ihave a terrible temper which poor dd1 has seemed to inherit and I'm doing no favours by joining in on her tantrums. i'm really worried if we have to take DDs out of nursery and I quite my job to become a sahm as I don't know that I can handle it without blowing up from time to time.

best to take things day by day; breathe deeply and do relaxing things when necessary. also give yourself a break as you don't know what kind of parent you'll be till it happens. Most likely, a normal, loving parent who is human like all of us.

Oh, Polony, forgot to say a big hug to you (that was the important thing!). take it easy on yourself.

Sausagenmash,

Don't need to reply quickly- whenever you have time.

Your name choices are lovely- and the sort of names I would choose myself if i was having a pink one.

I went to school with a Harriet (she shortened it to Harry) and also love it shortened to Hattie.

Matilda (Tilly) is lovely too.

And Jemima, Megan and Charlotte (Lottie) were all on my top 10 girls name list!

Fikelly- I agree its good to get out with LOs- i have 2 days at home with DD/DS and go to playgroup both mornings at the moment. This morning DD said she didn't want to go, but i needed to get out, so i made her but she loves it when she gets there. Need it for my own sanity...

saus

I like Matilda and Beatrice (Beatrice is a name buried in the recesses of my mind for this one, underneath boys names - I did this with DD1, not knowing boy or girl and ended up being flustered when they told me she was a girl), always convinced I'm having a boy!

polony

Don't worry about what sort of parent you'll be - I shout at my girls and they still love me (very much sometimes!!). I worry now about being mum to 3 as sometimes I feel like I'm barely coping with 2 but 98% of the time my girls are bliss to be with. And I am very (very very very very) short-tempered and intolerant, so not naturally blessed with parenting skills!!

divedaisy

I colour my hair, it's currently a washed-out reddy-browny-meh. However, I have taken the opportunity to not colour it whilst I'm pregnant and it turns out I have quite nice light brown/blonde (with a sprinkling of grey) underneath. Ive been wondering how to get it all coloured my natural colour (if that makes sense) so wonder about the colour-stripping too?

It's currently snowing quite heavily here in Teesside - we live near the Cleveland Hills and they look so beautiful at the moment - like sugar-topped cakes.

mmmmmmmm cakes...........

Hmm

I would just like to point out that I saw the beautiful hills this morning when going to drop DD2 (Little Brown Bear) at nursery.

My view at work is of the huge chemical plant at Billingham, a derelict former Big W and a gypsy encampment. That is, when the bloke who sits opposite me and burps and farts all day is not in. He smokes around 9 million tabs a day and has grey skin.....luckily he lives in Consett, which is about 3000 miles above sea-level apparently , so he has to go home if there is even 1 flake of snow

GRUMPY SHUT UP STOP WAFFLING ON

saus- the ju ju be bags i've bought are both brown so DH can use them too. I am not a very flowery girl type anyway, prefering plain ones. Still waiting for them to arrive

polony- try not to worry - i am very short-tempered with my two, but we have such fun too when we are all in a good mood. I remember being anxious before the birth(s) too (as i am now at the prospect of three DCs) but you just don't know how it will be til you the time comes, so no point stressing! When I had my DD i didn't cope very well, but didn't want people to know i was struggling (DH knew though). I should have asked for more help, and i also found that getting out to mum and baby groups and sharing experiences made me realise i wasn't alone and actually i was doing quite well! And i didn't have a disability to live with either. I also didn't know about mumsnet when I had DD but it really helped when i had DS because i could share experiences.

The one thing I learnt with DS is that I cope much, much better if I have a plan for each day that involves getting out. It horrified me at the time, but I found even a trip to the supermarket, alone, was significantly more enjoyable than any pre-DS shopping trip, ever! Oh the luxury of being able to wander the aisles without DS! Seriously though, my first christmas at home with DS was awful. He was born at the end of October and I'd grown to rely on the baby groups everyday. Of course, it all stopped in the school holidays and I found myself stranded at home with nowhere to find adult company. Every school holiday thereafter I made sure I had plenty of playdates scheduled!

Talking of which, a former work colleague is coming over tomorrow with her 12 week old. I can't wait to have a cuddle of a lovely newborn and marvel at how in 12 weeks DS2 will be here...