Due April 2009: Episode 9 - April Mums with Guns: Rise of the Fanjo Warriors?

[BabyBolat]

Here we go again....

BB I have sent you an email to cheer you up.
Most seemingly intelligent people have no clue about HR - I am perpetually surprised. I got made redundant once on the basis of there being no more research work available (at Cambridge University????) and lo and behold my seat was barely cold before I was replaced with a lesser qualified compliant bimbette doing my job. I love a good tribunal, me. I won, of course.

Yikes, a quarter way through already!

Nutty - Thanks for the biscuit.

Springy - You poor old sausage, you really are in the wars. I think you are amazing for staying so upbeat. I do so hope things improve for you soon.
"I don't think anyone wants to see a very pregnant, limping, wincing nearly-naked lady with Anusol on her bum" I'm sure if you looked hard enough on the net you would find this is exactly what does it for some.

Ilovesummer - Hooray new blood. Welcome back.

Boffin - I'm very of your nursing chair. Was it a surprise gift?
Fab news about the wheelchair.

Barbarella - Glad you are back. They sound like super weights for triplets. You must be doing a great job cooking them!

On that note I must go and feed my little monkey. Will catch up with the rest of the afternoons gossip later.

LuLu, very wise move IMO.

I was asked in an interview at a marketing company once whether I was planning to have any more children BY ANOTHER WOMAN. I was really shocked and wrote to complain afterwards because I thought that stepped over some sort of line on a variety of levels. I decided I could never work with her either (she was quite arrogant and a bit out of touch actually). What a stupid question to ask a complete stranger, apart from any legal ramifications.

BabyB - it sounds horrible but if these things about your ML are being said in meetings it's often a good idea to follow up with an e'mail saying 'just to confirm what we said'. Print out and keep copies of the e'mails.

A lot of things can change while you are off on maternity leave and people 'forget' things.

Sorry if I'm teaching my grandmother to suck eggs. I'm sure you can look after yourself.

Of course these days I reckon I would have leaned forward and said something like, 'Enough about me. Let's talk about your love life', before deciding not to work there. But I am more assertive these days.

LuLu that is just it they are in passing conversations to and from meetings! No I need all the help I can get I am too laid back with them and it upsets me that I allow them to walk all over me!! Hence me getting stronger

Thanks Boff - very funny letter xxx

Am off home now, speak to you all in 2 hours when I am sure we will be on page 15 (which means we are on target for our 3-day attempt!)

Yeah Boffin - this woman just had one child who was in boarding school so as not to interfere with her work. I've nothing against boarding school, but I didn't like her attitude.

BabyB - even if not said in any official capacity whatsoever jot an e'mail about it down. People who 'supposedly' don't know anything about HR get away with a lot by discussing these things in an informal context. It's really worth covering yourself.

Boffin - would have loved to see her face if you had done that. He he he.

I think it's reasonable in a way to make enquiries about childcare, but strictly only in context of how you can best help a person sort things out and support them, eg because you are telling them about childcare vouchers or salary sacrifice or flexible working or something like that.

Boffin - I just misread your last post as having children by another woman....

Barberella it's great to hear from you, I was just a little worried - they really are good weights and excellent news

Am I the only person who doesn't actually like working from home? I did this today and I'm sure I got less done than I would normally and it makes me feel guilty.

It's a good idea sending the kids to boarding school so that you aren't inconvenienced. It does make me wonder what the point is in going through the pregnancy, however!

Yes BB, a side of A4 summing up all the arrangements would pin things down as well as looking efficient, methinks.

Brettgirl, I sent one of mine to boarding school when she started getting awkward and it was brilliant for both of us, a great relief.

BB don't be too hard on yourself - I think it is often really hard working in a small company where the boss is everything.

She was sired by a man though!

Yes, I'm sure that there are good and successful reasons for boarding school but just so that the child doesn't interfere with your career is a bit

I think I'm just tired!

Well quite. There were some mad people at DD's boarding school whose parents clearly had done that very same thing. But holidays are so long - surely that would have made the situation very difficult??

I went to boarding school myself, for the last two years. As an only child it really helped me to get along with my peers and eased the transition to university enormously.

V. different context.

Those parents who did it for career reasons usually packed the kids off to summer camps in the long holidays. You have to be earning a serious fortune to do that though.

Changing the subject - and back to Babarella's questionnaire abour readiness for baby...

How is everyone doing with names. I'm not asking for your actual shortlist. Just whether you feel happy that you have a few names in hand that you and your DP both like.

For me in terms of 'readiness' this is much, much more important than having enough little newborn sized babygros (which will only last a few weeks). I probably over obsess and over analyse every name...

But with DD the moment we thought of her name it just felt right and this time I haven't found one that does. For either sex.

Hey, FreshHell is back. Sorry you are having a crappy day.

All ths talk of dick employers is making me soo glad i'm self employed. Of course I do have to answer to DD all day and she is a slave driver . Give em hell BB.

Lulu - We are decided on Holly Elizabeth.

That's lovely Puzzle. Very envious that you have found your name.

We have some names that we both like but they all feel like a bit of a compromise. Nothing is shining out.

I guess I can just wait and see whether it looks like a Nigel or a Barry or a whatever when it's born but with DD it was so straightforward. And to me choosing a name is SO important.

I browse the name boards all the time, but no flash of lightening has hit me yet to let me know what to call it. And so I keep referring to it as The Bump Baby or Baby 2.

OK - the problem I have with names is that I want my LO to have a name that is different to children of friends and family. Probably if I was 21 this wouldn't be a prob, but lots of names that I might have had have already been 'used'. Is anyone else feeling like this?

DH also is a firm believer in the plainer the better - and he baulks at anything even remotely unusual. He seems to like Emma and Lauren from the short lists we've done.

Yup brettgirl2 - we have the same problem. We are in our mid 30s and between them our friends have produced a LOT of babies.

We won't use a name already in use or even one similar (e.g. DH vetoed Maya on the grounds of being too similar to Mia which is a friend's little girl)

I also have the additional problem that I was a teacher in a previous life..... therefore so many names have a quite smarmy and annoying face attached to them!