Can you imagine an Indian call centre approach to midwifery??
BM Hello? Is that the labour ward?
CC Hello, how may I help you? To whom am I speaking please?
BM It is BoffinMum here. I think I have got a problem with my hips, as I can't walk.
CC May I ask you for your NHS number please, BoffinMum?
BM I can't get downstairs to get my notes.
CC Allow me to see if I might be able to look you up on the system. Ah, BoffinMum, it appears to say here that you were due to have a baby in April 2001.
BM Yes, that was last time. I am pregnant again.
CC Oh, excuse me BoffinMum, I am most terribly sorry, we appear to have no record of that so your account has now been closed.
BM Well what am I supposed to do now? I can't walk.
CC Might I suggest that you visit your GP and try booking in again? You can ring us 365 days a year, 24 hours a day, so feel free to call again. Thank you for contacting xx hospital. Is there anything else I may be able to help you with today?
dial tone