Due April 2009 - Saucy dreams, squirting boobs and spacehoppers. Whatever will the April mums get up to next?"

[PuzzleRocks]

PS I suggest you send dh out for the honey

ooh that does sound nice. not sure manuka honey would be in our local shops but will keep a look out tomorrow.

Off home now to face au pair music - hopefully agency will have spoken to her - have to stop putting off leaving - hope she hasn't been crying - yikes!! Will try to update later.

I have come home to a somewhat subdued au pair, but an impeccably organised and tidy house and reasonably well behaved children. This could be good ...

A family is at the dinner table. The son asks his father, 'Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?

The father, surprised, answers, 'Well, son, there are three kinds of boobs:

In her 20's, a woman's are like melons, round and firm her.
In her 30's to 40's, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit.

After 50, they are like onions'.'Onions?'

Yes, you see them and they make you cry.'

This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter said, 'Mum, how many kinds of 'willies' are there?.

The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, Well dear, a man goes through three phases.
In his 20's, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard.
In his 30's and 40's, it is like a birch, flexible but reliable.
After his 50's, it is like a Christmas Tree.'

'A Christmas tree?'

'Yes - the root's dead and the balls are just for decoration

Hehehe

Hi ladies, can I ask some advice on when to go on maternity leave. I have an active job, on my feet but in the same building for most of the day, and have been off for a while to rest as I have a short cervix and pelvic pain. I now have to write to my employer to say when I want to take maternity leave - I will be back at work - fingers crossed, in January.
First baby so any advice? In my dream pregnancy scenario, before complications, I was planning to work as long as I could - but now I'm not so sure. What are you planning to do? Help!

If you've got pelvic pain there might be a case for knocking off asap. I am going to keep going until a month before but my employer has rearranged my job so I can do a lot of working from home, which is brilliant. It's a very desk based job anyway.

Anyone else feel as if they've reverted back to the first trimester? I feel nauseous after eating and am knackered again!

Funny you should say that - I have felt sick a lot this week. I don't know why.

Evening Ladies,

I've been very busy sinbce I was last on here. I managed my week at work which is a huge relief. I feel like I am now officially back at work. I even dealt with an emergency on wednesday. My boss has started pestering me to decide when I want to go on mat leave. I can't decide, but I think that it will be around the 29-32 week mark because of being on my feet all of the time and after a while I will probably get too big to do my job. They are all molly-coddling me at work which can be nice but can be a bit frustrating too. When I was pg with DD I was working full-time on a very busy respiratory ward and was expected to keep on doing absolutely everything including all of the manual handling of obese patients.

I can't believe that I have yet another bug. I've got some sort of cold/cough/sore throat thing along with an eye infection. I even had to take my asthma inhaler for the first time in ages yesterday as it was affecting my breathing so badly The doctor says that I'm OK taking the inhaler whilst I am pg though. Bean doesn't seem to be too badly affected because he/she is being a fidget despite how awful I feel.

Somehow I managed to drag myself round a few shops today to do some Christmas shopping. I feel terrible for it, but it seems that it was worth it as much of the shopping is now done. My mum and dad looked after DD for the day and found it easy which is so reassuring as they will probably look after her when I have DC2.

Sorry, I've just noticed how this post is all me-me-me. I'm finding it a bit hard to keep up now that I'm back at work!

SNS - that joke was fab just burst out laughing which considering my emotionally fragile state at the moment is quite something!!

Babyc - I am planning on going on maternity leave 4-5 weeks before baby is due so I can have some time to myself beforehand which I think is imporatnat. My job is office based by the journey in to London every day is not great. If you make a decision and then feel you can't carry on because of your pelvic pain you can start early.

I did my xmas shopping today which was a real mistake. I have got such backache and feel like I have run a marathon. I did 90 mintues of ironing this morning and that nearly finished me off....whats happening my body is letting me down

The other thing I am really worried about is bean is usually active but for the last 2 days he has been quiet though I have felt him. My sister who recently had twins said this is normal. Is it?????

My word we are prolific.

Hopeful1, DD would have days where I barely felt her and then others when she would be doing acrobatics from morning to night. Try not to worry, they tend to move more when you are relaxed.

Swali, I hope you feel better soon you poor thing.

Excellent joke Nutty - wet my pants! Dh had a good laugh too.

SwalisWantsaPeacefulChristmas - well done on work front. sorry your ill - pants isn't it. hope you better soon.

babyc - is a hard one for me too, deciding about maternity leave. had said i will work till easter holidays but this lo will be induced before that and would appreaciate a week bit of time before. same as you with job, teaching requiring me to be on my pegs most of the day. Am thinking 35 weeks at the moment, had to leave at 33 weeks last time with breathing and fainting problems. I need to decide fast as the 25 week mark fast approaching. Everyone rememebered this - have to hand in MAT B1 form at 25 weeks (15 weeks before due date) and say when you expect to leave?

My news - scan went well and was all very reassuring. baby's position may have been why doc measured such a low fundal height and that along with my huge loss of weight was all sensible to worry about. Turns out though that baby is big, not really a suprise when her brother was a 10lb 5oz baby.

My illness saga continues though as now have cystitis - arhh! want to feel well again. am holding off docs today as am so embarrassed to go back again with another complaint about my health. Am drinking lots to try and flush it all out and am going to try and sleep between weeing, as ds in nursery today. Do you think this is sensible? just had 3 sets of antibios recently and am sure this is why I have it as everything has been off kilter for the last few weeks. going to go and dig out the manuka see if that works.

Hope everyone having a wonderful Monday morning ;)
Oddeyes 23+5

hopeful - 90 minutes of ironing???!!!. I dont think I've done that much in total in the last 3 years - well maybe a slight exaggeration but how do you have so much? My dh doesnt wear suits to work, and most of my tops for work are not shirty ones so I suppose that cuts down how much I do, but still - poor you. Hope you are able to have a rest after a busy weekend.

Swaliswan - I'm the same with the bugs - I never used to get many but at the moment i seem to be getting absolutely everything thats going. Very annoying. Can finally breathe a bit through my nose again today which is fantastic.

Finally felt the baby kicking more like how I remember ds doing it this weekend - hopeful - think its very normal to have quiet days and busy days - think you only need to count them and make sure they are doind at least a minimum amount of kicking once we get to about 28/30 weeks.

babyc - think i will be starting mat leave at 32 weeks but more becuase our firm are struggling than becuase i want to - would rather wait till about 36 but never mind. If you are on your feet a lot I think its more likely you will want to finish up sooner.

Hope everyone had a good weekend. I did - so pleased about the kicking, and finished our christmas shopping (pretty much), and ds was so funny all weekend - I love the age he is just now - so funny and happy most of the time.

Anyway, should probably do some work

Morning ladies

sorry i haven't been round much this weekend got that dreaded cold/cough/achey bug thing and have been wiped out

i will repy to peoples posts properly soon i just need to try and read them and try to make sense of them in my addled brain (may take some time)

oddeyes - so pleased your scan went well xx

swaliswan- yay for you going back to work

sal -yep feeling sick and food is becoming a chore again (i'm hoping that its just the bug though)

Oddeyes that is fantastic news - am so pleased for you! Did they give you any indication as to why you had lost so much weight?

Re maternity leave - I am going to work right up to due date but only because I have a desk job and intend to work from home a lot nearer the end but would love to finish earlier - think 36 weeks would be perfect!!

I had a weekend of making up for being a bad wife for the past six months, cleaned the house from top to bottom, cooked, baked Xmas gingerbread, bathed, and actually blow-dried my hair AND put make up on! DH couldn't believe it!!

SNS - snap - the germs have finally got me too! feel like crap today so definitely feeling the first trimester horribleness (not sure if it is the sickness or pregnancy related), still only a few more weeks to go!!! Cannot wait for Christmas and two weeks off!!!

think lost weight from being ill for so long and not stuffing myself like usual and also the erthromycin made me feel sick and have the squitters

Well that would explain it - and you have a fully valid reason to eat for two (or even four) over Christmas! I say get stuffing!

a week and a bit to go [fgirn] hooray

thank you all for your advice over maternity leave. After being told to rest I am feeling great at the moment, and a bit guilty that I'm not in work, so feel like I should go on for as long as possible to have longer when he is here, but then I have been told I could go early or have CS brought forward so might err towards about 34/35 weeks (CS booked for 39)to give me a bit of time to get things sorted at home - although I have no idea what I will need to do, haven't even thought about what babies need or actually do!
off to the hospital for yet another scan soon, so looking forward to seeing baby again.
BabyCRIMBOlat - you put me to shame, I've sat on the sofa most of the weekend!

Morning ladies! I could write a miserable post about a fabulous row on Friday ('just fuck off to Birmingham & don't come back', 'how I spend my [our] money is none of your business' & so on ) but I won't - I don't want to write it & nobody wants to read it. & things have settled down again - doctor's appointment later today which will lead to a referral & a lot of Christmassy socialising over the coming weeks to dissipate the tension a bit. Things should get better. & whatever happens with DP, I'll have my baby. In a lot of ways, that makes it scarier. But I already love him so much & when I get upset & feel him kicking it makes me so happy & reminds me how lucky I am. 17 more weeks! I can't wait!

I'm suffering from First Trimesteritis (inflammation of the first trimester? Nice...) as well. I was actually sick on Friday again & have felt a bit icky for most of the weekend. & so tired! I fell asleep in the car on the way home from Brum yesterday & then had to have a 90 minute nap at about 5, because my eyes hurt so much with exhaustion. But on Saturday night I got hungry without it making me feel sick for the first time since I got pregnant. I actually got to the point of physically shaking with hunger & that was my only problem - no awful morning sickness triggered by the hunger at all. I was so happy & genuinely enjoyed feeling so rubbish with hunger. Pregnancy is a strange thing

As for maternity leave, I don't have to make that decision. Thankfully. I can stop at Christmas (any time during the holidays between the end of this week & beginning of Feb - everyone's really envious of how much time I get off for Christmas & it is fabulous, but I'd rather I didn't & I got more uni time in before April!), but I don't think that I will unless things with DP really go wrong. So instead, I'm just going to keep doing as much as I can for as long as I can. & there's part of me that thinks that it'll be really funny to be in uni the week before I drop, although I know that there'll be various reasons that that won't happen. But I'm in a lucky situation in that the most physical thing I have to do is get there & back - then sit for an hour or two at a time. I should be able to keep going for a while, hopefully. Anyway, my uni is about three quarters of the way to my hospital from my flat, so it could be worse!

BabyCRIMBOlat, I'm in awe of your good wife weekend! I need to do all of those things. We're having our flat inspected tomorrow to make sure that we're not trashing it & I'll also need to ask the landlord if he'll accept housing benefit from April (there's no reason why he shouldn't, but on the off chance, we'll have to move), so I want it to look like a show home. It currently does not. I'm about to do an online grocery shop though & buy the last of my baking goods amongst it. It's going to be a week of domestic goddessing, I think. Now only to find the energy...

How is everyone, then? I'm listening to Take That's new album again, which is making the bump wriggle & bulge. Apparently if the bump gets to know music before it's born, it can help it go to sleep afterwards? Is that true, or a hopeful myth?

energy??? did someone say energy???? if anyone has some spare feel free to hand it over

dh has tidied house but it still looks a mess, bless (not to self mus tidy before crimbo)

I know - sometimes I find myself telling the bump to quieten down a bit for half an hour so I can use the energy for myself. He never listens

oooh Snowy if that is true, I will definitely be putting on some tunes now - I want that baby to sleep!!!

Sorry about the fight hope today helps - how was it at home? Did your mum spoil you rotten? I went to visit my parents last night and my great aunt had knitted all these old school booties and cardigans which are so cute!!!! can't believe that in 15 weeks I am going to have someone small enough to wear those!!!

I keep getting ahead of myself on dates tho - someone asked me the other day and I was like yeah only 13.5 weeks to go (it's 15 weeks today!!) I am just wishing away the time - does anyone else feel like since the 20 week scan (so past 5 weeks for me) has just gone so so slowly.....

Don't be envious of my wife skills, DH won't see any more for the next six months!!!