Due in November 08: Missing - 2 feet, last seen somewhere under bump in late August. If found, please massage and trim toenails before returning.

[ruthosaurus]

Hi ladies, new thread as we seem to have outgrown the old one!

OMG Dozy, I missed the part about baby arriving on the 30th! Wow, you have the potential to have your baby before me, who is due on the 29th, lol! I can not imagine having a 10lb baby at 38 weeks.....

Sorry thatt looked really rude, but DM emailed me before about something else, so I already knew. I was quite proud of myself for not blabbing, actuallly!

Pinky, maybe that is what it is. I am sooo set on this being my last pregnancy/baby, plus like you say, this baby is...I can't think of a better word than indulgance either.... that I fear something could take all that away. I am sure nothing will happen to any of our babies and we all know that these fears are pretty normal but it doesn't stop it from being scary or waking you in the night, drenched in a cold sweat.

I am going to see how I feel after the baby arrives and perhaps go back to speak with the nurse. It might be the baby is all I need to pull me from the slight funk I have been in.

Yes a newborn baby can cure a lot of ills, that's for sure! But if you still feel low, you should definitely talk to someone.

Heartmum, the other thing is, it doesn't matter what type of support network you have around you in terms of family and friends, if yours are anything like mine, the one thing I don't want is someone to sit in front of me and just say (and it's only because they care) "try not to worry it will all be fine", I also feel like I actually need to discuss my fears from where they have come from to quite how irrational they are not just be told not to worry (which depsite my mums best efforts this is all she ends up saying, it doesn't actually help because then you end up bottling them up). It is a little like when I was told there was no hope, everyone around me kept on telling me there is so much the medical profession can do nowadays. This was all lovely but no one actually wanted to talk about how I was feeling with the prospect of not having children. Does that make sense?

Dozy - how exciting about setting your DD's birthday I think I am going down that route too so will look forward to hearing your experience of an elective CS I also notice you have ignored all our enquiries about your 'column'.....would you like to spill the beans??

Anyone else worried about Saurus now? I am!

HM2J - I completely sympathise about how you are feeling Although DS was not as seriously ill as your DS, the fact he had to have a life-saving operation at 8 weeks threw me and DH into a right state at the time and we swore we wouldn't have another child as we couldn't go through that again - yet here we are, 2 years later! However, the memories have not gone away and I do think (a lot) about what would happen if there was something wrong with this baby etc etc - I guess it is human nature but do seek counselling if you think it would help.

heartmum and pinky I feel exactly the same - this baby wasn't planned and after being told I wouldn't have any more children (less than 2%) due to PCOS and thyroid issues it really does feel like a miracle/indulgence/blessing especially as PG is the best yet. I am seriously worried about having a 3rd CS, I am seriously worried about a deformity or death and I know my fears are irrational. I agree that having had DC's we know what is at stake and how the love you have is so immense (despite my w being little horrors at time. When DS1 had has op lsat year, I was convinced he we were going to lose him, and I think Pinky is right in saying that you just love someone so so so so so much, you cannot literally see how you would survive without them. It's a different love to DH as the love you have for your DC's is unconditional.

Pinkali I was induced at 38w with DS1 due to his renal outflow and laboured for 3 days, got to 9cm and was told if i didn't make 10cm in the hour would have to have a CS. He then went into distress so we had no option but to have an EMCS. DS2 had a planned one as due to nearly losing DS1 I had a bit of a phobia about giving birth. The planned CS was nothing like the EMCS and was a wonderful, beautiful experience and one I am hoping to emulate this time around!!!

OK...was planning on keepoing quiet about my column, as I was sure that autumnlady outed me a few weeks ago. However, she "outed" me but only on a FB email. I write a weekly column called the Bon Viveur that is published in City A M every Monday morning. The paper is distributed in London and is a financial freesheet. autumnlady worked it out as she knew my maiden name from FB and this is what my column goes under. She said she also recognised my style of writing (although not appalling spelling, thank God for sub edotirs is all I say!)

I am worrying about saurus a bit, too. She's prolly just gone out to buy cake, but still.

DM you are almost tempting me to another elcs with your last post!

Pinky I think you are VERY VERY brave going for VBAC after 2CS's! Wish I could but can't even contemplate it

Dozy - firstly, OMG to you having your little pink one on 30th October, how exciting!!! It is weird picking the date as my consultant said, 'how about 3rd Nov?' I, being me, looked in my (empty) diary and said 'Oh yes, that would be fine' then spent 10 mins not knowing quite wat to write!!

Secondly, of course I wouldn't out you! I was quite proud of myself for figuring it out whilst reading the column one morning and to everyone else, Dozy is an ace writer so just ignore what she says

Autumnlady just put baby's birthdaY!![GRIN] That's what I wrote on all the calendars for DD. Very exciting, and an elcs is a very calm expereince.

DM you are very kind but I think I'm just a bit bonkers

Hi everyone, interesting conversations today.
Hope Ruthosaurus is ok.

I agree that no matter how supportive family/friends are, a trained counsellor can really make a difference. I suffered from terrible anxiety after dd was born. I didn't hide it very well and everyone know how I was feeling but were inclined to say 'That's ridiculous, it would never happen' to my fears. I struggled on for over a year and one day my sister got really worried as she thought I sounded completely irrational so she found a counsellor and made an appointment for me. I only had a few sessions but it made so much difference to be able to open up and admit all the crazy worries I had and for someone to nod and understand and not tell me I was silly or there is no need to worry. The big breakthrough came when she encouraged me to put my worst fear (that dd would die) into words. It was what was always on my mind but I could never bring myself to face it. Once I had said it, it was like a weight lifted from me and I was able to go home and start to enjoy dd instead of fretting all the time. Not sure why I have just told you all about this but I really believe that worry and anxiety can eat away at you and take all the good from life so if anyone of you feel like that I really recommend speaking to someone.

Thanks Pinky - I ended up putting 'Baby boy to be born'!!! I am so glad that I have got my elcs and am very happy with my consultant too so (fingers crossed) I hope this will all be very positive. It's quite odd that he will be born opposite to where I work near to the day that someone tried to blow up Parliament!! He is destined to be Prime Minister........

God, I feel really left out.
No one tells me nothing.
I didn't know Dozy wrote a column.
I didn't know Dozy had her cs agreed for 30th.

God all this is so exciting. Wish I'd known all this before.

Sorry, Autumnlady has date, for 3rd, aswell ?

God, how are we going to keep track of all these confirmed dates.

And congratulations to you both.

DM Will instruct DH to bring City AM back from London with him on Monday How exciting to have a date for your elcs and you too Autumnlady Looks like you two and Merry are first, unless a baby makes an unexpected arrival!
I also hope Saurus is OK.
Re fears, this is my first DC so I obviously don't know what it's like to have a child and the love you have for them but having had a mc last year I have been worried throughout this pg and still dread having scans and being given bad news. Recently I've also started worrying about possible complications at birth and also what if anything were to happen to me and leaving DH with a baby to bring up on his own Totally irrational I know. It's helpful to read that I'm not the only one having these sorts of thoughts. HM2J I hope you can find somebody to speak to if you think it would help. As has already been said, it can be very helpful to talk to a third-party who is not emotionally involved in the situation.

I am being induced on the 3rd as well

OHHH - a few of us know dates, how very very exciting!! Now, where is chocorange when you need someone to do the stats and update spreadsheets!!!!!!!!!

Obs - sorry I thought you knew as I thought I had told everyone on here May well have been when I was offline and off work. My EDD was 9th November so only a week before. Glad to hear about your driving priviledges being reinstated! You feeling less icky today?

Who was sorting out the text buddy system? I think it's an ace idea and would love to join in as not having DH accessing MN!!!

Thanks Cricri am very excited as this is my first DC too. Excuse me for being dumb, but what is the 12mm measurement you were talking about? Is this a renal thing?

xx

Autumnlady Yes, it was the measurement of the renal dilation. Fingers crossed it will have reduced again when I have my scan on Monday - doesn't seem to be an exact science from what I can tell
I keep forgetting to say that I would like to join the textbuddy system!

ring wearing still fine as my fingers havent swollen or changed at all since being pregnant. With DS they only swelled slightly (i think) right at the end when I was nearly 42wks.

I too worry about cot death and still birth when I didnt with DS but I think it is maybe because of the story lines in some soaps that have put the thoughts in my mind. With DS I was a little worried for the first week as my mum had 2 boys before me that both died shortly after birth.

childcare vouchers update ... the payroll guy has responded to my email and said he needs to investigate the issue but is busy with year end so will get back to me by the end of next week! SORT IT OUT FOR GOD'S SAKE IT IS MY WAGES AND I HAVE BILLS TO PAY!

Sorry ladies, I was abducted by lunch and couldn't get back as I was driven to a pub miles away and had no transport.

Not feeling to great actually, but I'm sure some of it is psychosomatic - bit crampy and sicky feeling.

Dozy, 30th, wow! Race you! Or not. God I hope this kid stays in for another few weeks.

Big big hugs Heartmum - feel for you

sorry if TMI regarding my mum and the 2 boys. Should keep my mouth shut when people are stressed enough!

Actually I am getting a bit scared. But I guess if it was really contractions I would know, right?

Calm down Saurus, you silly moo.