Due in Jan 2009 - the everexpanding bum(p) & ladygarden planning society

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hello!!!!
I've done it....

my iron levels are @ 10.5 i am taking pronatal vitamins just read packet ment to take on a full stomach have been taking on an empty oops.
my dh is going to get me spatone sachets from pharmacy on the way home

Yeah for the ladies finishing up at work and beginning their maternity leave, not sure how you have survived working for this long into the pregnancy. MissJackson - the massage is defintely earned. I attended a breastfeeding workshop today which I must say was really good and has given me more confidence in feeding my baby.

Hope everyone has a good weekend.

LenniEd I'm confused about your comment about not "going out" for the first 10 days? I mean i know i'm inlikely to want to go anywhere, but i;ve not actually READ that we aren't to go out.... Please Expand for the clueless first timer!

Went and had manisure today and then wandered around town with friend of mine looking at xmas bits. I know midwife says shes head down now, but i couldnt believe how low she felt when i was walking around. I think it was a combination of my lady bits being rather swollen, but downstairs really was rather uncomfortable, i'm really starting to feel like shes dropping RIGHT down!! Anyone else feeling like this?

My kicks are right up by my ribs now. She was kicking the tv remote off my tummy last night!!

you wont feel like going out for 1st ten days anyway as you will feel so tired plus if breast feeding breasts fill up breast pads very quickly and milk can leak on top.
i dint feel human for @ least the 1st few weeks and as i had had stitches couldnt really walk comfortably for 2 weeks.
i have a really low bump rray it touches tops of my legs. midwife said yest that my baby was breech transverse i get all my kicks in my fanjo

we didnt go out for a week i dont think just walked up to local shop which was a very bad idea as was in agony down there then after. phoned up midwife and when i said that i had walked got told off.
didnt go out for a while out there.
cant remember how long it was till we went food shopping.
just felt so dead tired and outerspace for 1st 6 weeks
hopefully with 2nd will be easier

qumps I breastfed normally at first, but then after a few weeks I started to express, so that DH could give them an extra large feed last thing and I could go to bed early. It really seemed to help them start sleeping through for longer. I also made sure that there was always expressed milk in the freezer in case I was too exhausted and needed DH to feed them, say, in the middle of the night. Didn't do formula until I stopped breastfeeding though.

With regards to the staying in thing, I think it's probably different for everyone. Some people are too exhausted or sore to venture out, others don't feel safe taking their precious bundle out into the big wide world and others just love that new baby bubble you get to be in for a couple of weeks after they are born. Then again I know plenty of people that just had to get out asap as they couldn't bear being cooped up all day.

My week continues to be 'interesting'. Parents evening last night and on talking with DS1s teacher it seems that she has, like us, being thinking he could be on the fringes of having a spectrum disorder. Its so minor that its unlikely that anything would ever be done about it, but it does has implications for how they handle him in certain situations. He has a few sensory 'issues' and doesn't like to touch or hold certain things. He tries to interact with adults on an adult level (which of course never goes down well with the adults) and has social interaction problems such as not 'getting' sarcasm and being unable to fully understand how his behaviour affects the feelings of others (hence problems with interaction with his peers). Like I say, these issues are not on a major scale, just enough to make him 'a bit different'. In some ways I am relieved that his teacher has picked up on the same things as us, but on the other hand am feeling quite worried about the way it will affect his future. Last year's teacher refused to even discuss his 'issues' and by the end of the last term his work was falling behind. He has, by contrast, made huge strides forward this year and is doing really well in his classwork.

It feels quite odd to be discussing his 'ways' with anyone else. Despite being aware of the likely reality of the situation for years now, to us he has always just been him and we have dealt with each 'issue' as it arose. (Mum is a psychologist and has access to lots of resources so that has obviously helped.)

To most people he just seems a bit quirky and that's fine. I think its going to be authority figures he has a problem with, as he often will not be told and doesn't understand why he doesn't have equal right to adults. (Senior school could be well be interesting.)

Anyway, am hoping for a quiet weekend, pootling about sorting cupboards, reorganising stuff and doing the odd bit of online christmas shopping. But hey, as long as there are no more trips to A&E or emergency dentists etc, I will be more than happy.

Hi all,
just thought I'd post a note on the iron; last time I had to spatone it, but apparently this time I'm still in the 12s which is fab, and I've taken no supplements. I have been eating a lot more dried apricots and dark chocolate, and also Kale, which is now in season (last time I had an aversion to it and when I saw it in the box it went straight in the bin ).

Anyway, if anyone wants to try the food route, if you cut out the hard stalks of the kale and then simmer it til tender, mix it with a cheese sauce, make nests in it and break in whole eggs, then bake in medium oven for 30 mins, it makes a great, iron rich supper. And its in season, so v cheap!

Also eggs/spinach hollandaise is good as there is iron in all of it.

Rrayray - I was told by my midwife last time not to go out for 10 days because of risk of infection to the mother not the baby (baby apparently fine since plenty of immunity passed on) - she said when the placenta comes away there is a large wound left behind and until it has started to heal there is a risk of infection esp if you do too much. Plus stitches are easily ruptured and can get infected - that part terrified me into staying in! Also your immune system is still pretty weak. Not sure whether or not that is standard advice? But they generally encourage you to rest as much as possible at first anyhow. If your partner gets paternity leave then I really would make the most of the two weeks he is home and rest up - once he is back at work and you are on your own it is much harder to rest, plus you'll want to be out to get some adult company. And there is no going back to Sunday morning lie-ins together once the baby arrives! What I would give for one of those again!

TBH I went out after about a week - the first few days you are bleeding very heavily and milk coming in so I didn't want to go out anyway. When I was walking about in the first few days I would bleed really heavily and would be changing pads every hour or two so wouldn't have wanted to be dealing with that whilst out. But once bleeding was controllable and I'd recovered enough to be comfortable in the car I was out and about. That said, I took ages to heal downstairs and am sure that I would have healed quicker if I'd rested more so regret not taking mw's advice. I think this time, unless I have a very straightforward birth with no stitches, I will be much more careful as I was still uncomfortable about 6 weeks after DD's birth and wasn't entirely right for about 6 months - am sure things would have healed quicker with more rest at the start.

MM- I also hope you have a more relaxing weekend, you definitely deserve one! And if you ever want another persepective on dealing with DSs poss ASD then let me know - it is pretty much what I am doing my Masters degree in and it needn't affect his future at all if it is managed well - as you say it is brilliant that his teacher has recognised it and is working with him positively. There is loads and loads of help and advice available nowadays and lots of innovative approaches. I could go on... I come over all sentimental about having given up work whenever I start on SEN and the like. One day I will go back...

i was one of those that despite episiotomy front to back (eyes watering) i still went out the day after i came home. went to mothercare for bras (didn't get any as too small ) and then the next day i went to bf cafe as really struggling and didn't want to quit. ds in scbu for 3 days so didn't have a lot of help at hospital with technique. bf lady was so nice to me and thought i was mental to be out which i probably justified as i just sat there for 2 hours crying, drinking tea and being helped by the nicest people.
anyway had problems this pregnancy with pelvis and back and physio puts alot of it down to me doing too much too soon after ds. she said back in the day enforced rest was compulsory for all and should still be in place now. am young(ish!) and very fit (sports based job) so just thought i would bounce back and hate being cooped in house.
this time c section and physio said best thing for me as will have to do nothing. oh just had flash backs to stitches healing - it was like being pulled very tight down below.... also bled alot.
anyway my advice rest up!
gtdab think it was about £50. got it from boots online and got extra points and discount i think. worth every penny to me.
moosemama i hope you are tucking into a big bar of chocolate right now as a substitute for a bottle of vino which you surely deserve after your week. re bf thats what i am thinking about doing but possibly using formula at 11pm feed. did you express one breast while you fed from the other?
got children in need on in the background but not sure hormones are up to it. dh just gone away for work until sunday and has already been away mon to wed this week. miss him dreadfully but love having bed to myself

Thanks LenniEd.

I guess my main concern would be that once it gets onto his school record it will colour the opinions of future teachers etc before they even get to know him. On the other hand, if they are not forewarned and therefore able to understand and he gets as far as senior school, he could be easily end up constantly in trouble for insubordination! (His last teacher had him down as a bit of a Mummy's boy with an attitude problem )

We did discuss with his teacher whether it was worth getting him assessed, but tbh its so 'fringe' at the moment we agreed that we really don't think we would be offered (or need) any additional help. Instead she is going to monitor him for a while to see how much the issues we raised (and she has noticed) affect him day to day while at school and we will take it from there.

He is such a lovely, clever boy who constantly amazes and delights us. His problems are only minor and for the most part just make him seem somewhat quirky. He has a great little group of really good friends and is coping well despite the inevitable misunderstandings between them. (They seem more than happy to accept him for who he is.)

Obviously, like any parents we only want to do what's best for him, but at the moment its a bit of a 'suck it and see' situation.

MM - teacher's attitudes will always be a problem for all children unfortunately some would see ASD on a school record and treat the child differently sometimes in a negative way but you can do a lot to address that if it does become an issue in the future. If he isn't assessed then it wouldn't be formally recorded anyway so his secondary school wouldn't circulate the info to teachers unless he was formally assessed before he went there. Like you say you'll have to see how he goes and make that decision as and when. There are advantages and disadvantages either way.

There are many advantages to ASD too when it comes to education - I know some very successful university professors with Aspergers who are very focussed on their fields.

If he is making and keeping friends well then it sounds like he'll be fine. Puberty can be the hardest time when boys esp can find the social rules that go with relationships difficult to comprehend. But you've plenty of time to deal with that. One of the best things you can do is to explain things you take for granted like why you talk to strangers differently to people you know well and why your language and physical contact is different. Children with ASD don't always pick these things up naturally as they grow up and as they get older it can make the differences between them seem more apparent. Another thing that helps is to explain games - sometimes children with ASD will live quite an adult existence and won't understand the point of games but can learn them and this helps with social development. Also breaking routines helps - if he has any routines that he is quite attached to then interrupting these and helping him to deal with being more flexible can help. That is a bit of a whistle stop post but there is so much you can do - I'm sure you will have most of this info anyway from your Mum ... and I'm rambling

MM It's good that your DS's teacher is taking his behaviour seriously and not just writing him off as 'difficult'. I wonder if new baby will help him feel more empathetic and connected at all -- it sounds like you have some good support in the school and in your Mum anyway.

So today was my first day of freedom since finishing work yesterday. Had a midwife visit this morning (love my sofa examinations!) and the baby is still head down, so fingers crossed he stays that way. She showed me how to feel his little bottom and head, as I have been unable to feel anything -- seems the trick is to press much harder than you think you'd need to!

Then had heavenly massage and slept in the afternoon, as was up till 3am last night buying stuff on ebay! Managed to score a great tots bots starter set of 15 nappies and 4 wraps for £58, which brand new is £165 - and only 4 of the nappies have been used, and only used once, so the whole set is pretty much new anyway. So it looks like we are going to go down the reusable route - at least partway. We'll get plenty of disposables too I think. Now I can start buying the cute colourful wraps!

Hope you all have a good weekend!

morning

mm - good that you are getting support from teacher
miss j - massage,nap and midwife plus ebay purchase sound good

i agree with resting after the birth definetly helps things it is lovely just spending time @ home with the new baby by yourself getting to know each other.
i put dd straight into outfits found them ok and looked so cute

i have dd till 1pm as dh working then off into town by myself in aft

hi gtdab - ye for coat

morning ladies. just a quick pop in.

Ah, am understanding more of a personal preference about staying in. Just a thought though, i mean if its a thing about infections, surely you should limit visitors coming to see you too???

Anyone else started taking raspberry leaf? I bought the tablet yesterday & the woman in the herbal shop said she couldn't recommend them enough. Also got the Tea form, but not fond of Hot Drinks really, so save for VERY cold Days!

Morning ladies, just catching up on all the weeks posts.

Am v. jealous at those started mat leave or about too. Unfortunately my last three weeks coincide with my busiest time of year, am just trying to grit my teeth and get through it without getting too stressed. I'm so knackered I only seem to get about an hour after getting in and having my tea before falling asleep on the sofa.

Went to NCT weekend last week and also had a bf workshop which were all pretty good. It was great to meet others in the same situation with the same questions and came away properly excited for the first time in ages. Although was a bit miffed when found out none of the other mums were going to the local hospital because it is a MLU and you can't get an epidural there. Ok, so that might be obvious to some except the NHS website actually says that you can on some pages and you can't on others. It isn't that I actually want one but it would be good to have the option. Unfortunately the nearest place I could get an epi is 30 mins drive away as opposed to 5, dh doesn't drive and it is a total pain to get to on public transport so i'm just going to have to stick with my original choice. Any stories on how you got through labour without one most welcome!

Babs feels properly big now. Had strong nesting urges on Mon and then friend said she thought my bump had dropped a bit which worried me enough to go and buy all of my hospital essentials. I know this is normal though so am not worrying too much, still have 8 weeks to go!

Enjoy your weekends xx

i only had gas and air with dd not too bad in terms of pain
i am not good if i have just a stomache or headache it is a different sort of pain

Miss Hairspray - I think my bump has dropped during the last week too - i seem to be catching fewer crumbs..! i was a bit worried about this, but everything i 've looked at seems to suggest that while 31 weeks is on the early side it's still pretty normal and it doesn't mean the small one is planning to make her entrance ridiculously early...

ray - is it after 32 weeks you start taking the raspberry tea? i fully intend to take it - anything that might help the process along, and will probably take it in pill form too, since the only non-caffeinated tea i am willing to drink is mint - all of the other ones taste absolutely foul in my experience

qumps I found it too awkward to express while feeding and got into the routine of expressing and certain regular times instead. I think I expressed once in the morning and once just before bed (seems like a long time ago now).

Am stuck in bed today, in absolute agony with spd after doing way too much yesterday. Hardly slept at all through the pain, had run out of paracetamol and was too chicken to try the cocodamol. At least I will (hopefully) get a quiet day messing about on the lap top and ordering christmassy stuff. Only just remembered we will need to dress the table and buy crackers etc as having christmas at home for the first time ever!

LenniEd we are thinking that he will probably be quite academic in a scientific/technology sort of way. He is a whizz on the computer and can talk about every aspect of pc's and macs to anyone who'll listen for hours on end. He loves science, always chooses scientific factual books from the library and spends hours scanning them and talking to us about them (favourite topic at the moment is the environment and pollution). Came downstairs this morning to find him watching KS1 science programmes on the replay, don't think many kids would choose to watch that over Saturday morning TV! So I'm not concerned about his academic career, especially now we have got past the barrier of him hating to hold a pencil and being unable to put his hand on a piece of paper to stop it moving about. That really held up his writing skills but as soon as we managed to get him past it he leapt ahead and has caught up and even overtaken some of the other kids in his class in just a couple of weeks.

Like I said, he is very lucky to have a really lovely group of friends that take him as he is. Their parents have all been very supportive too eg inviting him round for a special tea instead of to birthday parties which he can tend to find distressing (large video screens and loud music etc). For the most part his interaction with the other kids is fairly normal, the problem we have is with his frustration level when they don't agree that he should always have his own way and his not understanding that the way he says certain things can be very hurtful to others. We have done a lot of work around this and he is improving. Have actually just ordered the My World Learning DVDs on Feelings and Expressions for him as we thought they might be a fun way to help him in these areas.

He absolutely loves routines. We try not to let ourselves get into too many rituals and patterns at home as he picks up on them very quickly and starts to 'need' them as a sort of comfort blanket. We once had apple pie for two weeks in a row after Sunday lunch and he now says every single Sunday "Oh, it's apple pie day today isn't it." It has taken literally months of us going without apple pie to get to the point where he doesn't get upset if we don't have it on a Sunday, even if we are not home!

Fortunately he is not bad enough not to understand games, he loves board games, kids games and chess (obviously the more strategic the better), but also does amazingly well with imaginative play in the playground and at home with his brother. He has got a lot better at picking up cues from other kids about what is and what isn't acceptable when playing in the playground, so am encouraged that we will be able to guide and teach him about social rules and interaction etc.

Sorry to ramble on, been keeping this stuff in my head for so long now it just seemed to come tumbling out once I'd started.