Due in June - Thread 9

[teabelly]

Brand new thread as ordered...

Trib, I'm impressed chocky at that time of the morning ...soooo how do you have yours?? I bite the top off, suck out the filling and save the choc til last, yum!

Okay, welshie, I'm sorry to have to point this out but you really don't strike me as the obedient type.

"Sausage" a term of endearment? Oh dear, don't thinI want to know how that started. It's not part of that radiator "muscle" story is it?

Uwila - it's amazing how obedient I can be IF it suits me. But you are right it's not something I normally lean towards.
Does noone else call their people they're fond of 'sausage'? what about chicken? sweetie? pumpkin? etc
Not just me is it?
(had nothing to do with the radiator either you scurrilous minx - won't say what I called him then )

you are not alone WM! I too will admit to the sausage/chicken/sweetpea etc terms of endearment.....

sorry to hear you had such a hard time with your first weeks and months with your first. Have to say though, I'm also hoping to be more relaxed this time around. Last time I think I was just overwhelmed by this creature that I was supposed to 'instictively' know what to do! (and I didn't...)

I've been through a phase where I've just been thinking 'oh no newborn days'- the lack of sleep being the worst thing. I found that the hardest to deal with, and bit worried about how that pans out with toddler in tow. Currently Dd shouts Mu-mmy at top of voice until I come and get her out of her cot. Who needs an alarm clock? I imagine nights where I'll have just finished feeding baby and my human alarm goes off seconds later. Unfortunately no snooze button......

Redheadmum - I've currently got dd on a star chart for 'going to sleep nicely with no calling out' When she wakes up in the morning we can hear this quiet, little voice saying 'mummy, mummy can I get up now?', we get her she comes in saying 'I slept through the night and I didn't call out' She's trying really hard and doing well - what age is yours? might be worth a go.
(I've read this back and I sound like a complete control freak)

Hi there,

God it takes ages to catch up, must come on more often! Sitting here looking at the snow pouring down, it's lovely. Even got sent home from work yesterday, which was a mega bonus.
Work is a complete drag, and they've made me redundant, still I've only got until Friday then I'm off. Think I might have a case of unfair dismissal on grounds of the part time workers regulations, which will be interesting to see what they come back with once they read my letter of complaint.

Anyway, Uliwa and everyone, thanks for your concern. Although it's probably not of much comfort,U, the money issue has been big on our agenda for the last few weeks, and it is really stressful. I think you feel really vulnerable at a time like this and then you have to trust that your other half can go the distance and bring the money in, which is not easy to do, especially if your income was the main one, and the most regular.
It's interesting to see how many people are not feeling up at the moment. I couldn't wait to get pregnant again, my first one was fantastic and I felt great all the way through. How different this one has turned out to be! It seems that I'm not alone.

Morning Laydehs! (well, it was when I started this post....)

Hi Tessie - hope you've recovered from your horrible cold. I'm so sorry you're feeling down. Please post if you want and I'm sure we'll do our best to help LOL you looking like a matron - I assume you mean of the Hattie Jacques type? I'm sure you don't! I'm really missing LAGER! I'm so common I wish Lippy was around to chat to you about feeling down because you're having a boy - she certainly felt the same way when she discovered she was having another girl. I wonder how she feels now? I'm missing Lippy too. WHERE ARE YOU LIPS???

he he Trib - re "...parenting is the pressure that you 'should' be doing something,...." that sounds like my whole life!

I've sorted out my 25 week check - for some reason here it is actually with the GP, then I have a midwife one at 28 weeks.

Pink - so why don't you apply for the library job anyway? - have you been to Netmums.com (or .co.uk) ? It's a local website for local mums/mums to be and has lots of links. that MAMA thing sounds good too - bet you know about these already don't you - sounds like you're very well informed

Lummox/jonah/KVG, thanks for the well wishes for me - don't really deserve them though because as far as the pregnancy's concerned I have nothing really (yet) to worry about - so far so good, fingers crossed I've had nothing flagged up at all - had a better look through my notes and found that my amniotic fluid's ok. Just normal worries really about the reality of becoming a mum.. Pod's moving around a lot too - some days it's pretty extreme but I'm trying to not worry about this, cos I'd worry if he didn't!

Jonah I'm SHOCKED!! You've never heard of Lindor!! You need to go out and buy a box today! Start with just the balls that are wrapped in the red foil, then progress onto the different varieties later. You definitely beat me yesterday with your choc consumption

I know what you mean about feeling protective over your bump - I'm just the same. I've stopped eating out of date food, started to wash up every day (well nearly!) and everthing!

Uwila - Couldn't you pay your nanny a few extra pounds to do some specific cleaning? Maybe on a weekend while you're with the babies? A good concentrated couple of hours a week can make a hell of a difference I imagine? (((hugs))) cos you're feeling crap x

Franni popped in a couple of days ago by the way to say she's not being made redundant -yet, and not posted since, I don't think.

Welshie - the small accident thing so you could have a break in hospital - wow, I'm so not prepared mentally! I guess I won't be until he's here... You did have a lot to contend with though that first few weeks My your friend with the triplets sounds feisty! I imaging it can get annoying when strangers constantly invade your space like that - I wouldn't dream of doing that myself. Had it a bit though when Charley was a puppy. We use "sausage" sometimes too as a term of endearment - and all the others you mention, plus loads more. It gets quite camp in our cottage at times

How long do newborns sleep in a 24 hour period? I'd've thought they needed loads?

Weshmum - thats ok - we use "sausage" like that too ... although the prefered option is battered with chips
KVG / MRs W - THanks for your support

FB- I'm new on this thread, so you've probably gone over this before, but can they make you redundant if yr pregnant??? I thought that it was pretty hard to make pregnant women redundant...it's usually a ploy whilst on maternity leave too....

I'm finding this pregnancy harder than the last one. Had terrible morning sickness and lots of colds this time, but also just much more knackered.

WM - wow a sticker chart gets quiet nights and mornings? my Dd currently complains at being put to bed (more story etc) and shouts in the morning (it breaks me the sing-song MU-MMY I'm AWAKE! over and again). Dd is 2yrs 5 months - is that old enough for stickers to work?

Charley - as a new baby, ds did sleep loads in the first few weeks, trouble is they take a while to figure out day and night! and while they sleep loads, they want to feed very frequently, which is what is knackering, as they don't think, fair play, it is 3am, and I did have her up at 1am, so I'll hang on an hour or two . So in the day, when I was up anyway, I remember feeling like he slept lots, but at night omigod. But it settles down and they do start to go longer at night relatively soon (bear in mind that when people say 'sleeping through' in the first two or three months they mostly mean midnight to 5am though!).

Bet that hasn't made anyone feel better has it - sorry, I've even depressed myself!

Thanks Charley
Re: newborns and sleep - i used to have a book which said how many hrs sleep were needed per weeks old - it proved to be rubbish!!!
I think it said about 17 hrs in 24 for a new born. My only real advice is that sleep promotes sleep. I used to think that if i kept DS1 awake a lot in the day then he would sleep better/ longer at night ... the opposite applied. The more/better they sleep in the day (when they are v. little at least) the better they sleep at night.... although i am sure there are plenty of exceptions to this rule

Mrs Flowerpot - LOL - i used to think "sleep through" was 7pm - 7 am!!!! as you say it is more like 11 - 5!!!

HI Franni!

Oh - I'm sorry - I thought they weren't going to make you redundant. Poor you! It can't be very nice. I hope they are going to give you a handshake. Good luck with your letter, please let us know what their response is.

Hmm - battered sausage...yum. Good job Tea's not here to add her saucy tuppence-worth to that one!

That is so true about sleep promoting sleep TB - our lives got noticeably better once ds was into a sort of routine of regularly timed naps in the day. I was never massively strict follower of any particular routine, but he settled into a morning nap at about 9 for a couple of hours and then a bigger one in the afternoon and that was the point where he slept better at night. Can't remember how old he was, but I don't think he was more than a couple of months. But then as dh and I were saying last night, the first weeks are a total blur to us now.

Redheadmum - ours is 3 next month and we started charts about a month ago - don't think she would have responded earlier. It has worked though - we used to have horrendous am drams over teeth and hairbrushing too, now....nothing.
Charley - don't be alarmed about what I felt when dd was little, I didn't have a run of the mill start as a mum. Don't know if I would have felt like that in normal circs. Would you rather I was less forthcoming on how it was to start off with? Maybe I should tone it down a touch - don't want to alarm anyone unnecessarily, then again would like to be honest (need perplexed emoticon)
My sister has had a total dream of a start for example - she just worried about not being able to fit into her normal clothes, while angel baby slept and fed and chuckled adorably. Lucky baggage

i remember hating it when ds1 slept for too long/ too late in the daytime and thought he would never sleep at night .... i would often only let him have short naps ... he was a very grizzly baby and would wake up countless times in the night. With DS2 i let him sleep whenever he wanted and actively encouraged more sleep ... he has always been a really good night time sleeper. At the end of the day i think unless you are very luck you WILL be feeding every three hours during the night for at least the first 6/8 weeks (in my experience)

Oh goody - I'm glad i can now have a reason not to keep him awake I think I'll just sleep when he sleeps then for a few weeks. Being brand new must be tiring after all.

Welshie - oh no, please, I definitely appreciate honesty and details - I think I'll be far less stressed the more I can understand where I am on the stress spectrum at any given time. Lots of scary things can happen to any of us and the more anecdotes I can draw from, the better it wil be I'm sure x

Welshmum - i totally relate to your emotions and the "accident" thing.
When DS's were newborn i used to ENVY pensioners because they could go home, sit in front of the fire and sleep - whenever they wanted. In fact i would envy ANYONE who didnt have a baby!!! I used to keep telling myself how lucky i was and how much some people LONG for a baby.
A totally sane friend of mine had a little routine whereby she would have a bag packed containing EVERYTHING her DH would need to look after baby DS should it all get too much and she had to "run away" from it all! She never did - she just needed to know that she could

My mum used to tell me and db regularly when we were little she was going to "go out that door and never come back" poor thing, she was a single mum for quite a few years

so charts solved teeth brushing and hair brushing too??? (amazed face)

currently Dd cries at hair washing and brushing (to the point where the neighbours commented on it...) teeth brushing has got better (ie not full on help-me-my-parents-are-murdering-me proportions) but still hard work. At the moment the whole day can be like this for up-nappy-dressing-teeth-hair etc etc etc. Exhausting!

Maybe should start in a couple of months?

About the early days - one thing I noticed was that some mothers LIE!!! My next door neighbour gave birth to her second DD a few weeks before my DS was born. She told me that her DD was sleeping 7pm - 7am straight through every night from about 8 weeks, which caused me all sorts of anguish as a first time mum. It took me a couple of nights to realise that this was complete bollocks - through the walls of our little terrace house, I could her her DD screaming for at least an hour every night at 11pm.

All I can say redheadmum is that it has removed at least 3 really irritating parts of the day. The nights thing has only become complicated because dd is now scared of the dark. I'd give it a go. At the end of the week, if dd has most of her stars she gets a treat, bless her.
Tessie - thanks for sharing that it makes me feel better about those early days.
Charley - you're a sweetie and will be a lovely mum.

I'm off now - and not around tomorrow either so enjoy your chocolate those who do and crisps those who don't xx

Dishonesty is not helpful is it? Thank goodness for MN, that's all I can say. I knew NOTHING about babies before joining and would feel guilty and like a total freak if I felt stressed out. I probably wouldn't have the confidence to admit how stressed I might be as well because I'd feel like a failure. It's great to know what the reality's like.