Due in June - Thread 9

[teabelly]

Brand new thread as ordered...

Trib, I'm impressed chocky at that time of the morning ...soooo how do you have yours?? I bite the top off, suck out the filling and save the choc til last, yum!

Hi Red
x posted. MAMA sounds like a good thing.

Lua - thinking of you. I don't think there's much like the flurry of panic a pg mum goes into when they imply things 'might' not be as they should. It's probably not much use but please remember most discrepancies on scans sort themselves out by the time the baby arrives.

Pink - I do sympathise with you loads. It's a bloody rollercoaster of emotions this having a baby lark. I remember that when dd was first born I wondered if someone would just take her away and let me have her back when my head was a bit more sorted out, other days I used to wish I'd have a small accident - nothing too serious - just enough to go into hospital for a while so I wouldn't have to be at home in charge of a small baby. Now I know these feelings are all really common (so other mums tell me) but at the time I felt so guilty about everything. I think this thread could be really important to help us get through it all - as well as share the wonderful bits. I hope that we'll able to be honest about the bad days though.

Uwila - sorry about the money juggling you're finding yourself doing. It's a complete pain - especially contemplating the loss of help you've got used to. Hope you feel less stressed soon.

Heartburn - can only recommend milk, haven't needed anything else yet.

I'm missing Lippy. I suspect she may have had enough of mumsnet

Oh coop, no no I didn't mean you at all. A bunch of preganant women discussing maternity leave is quite a different matter. The peopl who will need armour are those who give a condesending "oh you don't know what you are talking about woman" attitude like theyknow better when they themselves probably took a week off while their wife recovered and then went back to work themselves. There wew two comments made to me by guys at work who have children last time, and shant forget them any time soon.

One was a guy who wheninformed of my remarkably short planned maternity replied "yeah, my wife said that too, and she hasn't been back since." The implication being my pretty little head knew less about my own work plans the man with willy. And, the other one gets the prize for his remark when I popped into a department meeting whist on part time work from home (when DD was 3 weeks old). He said to me, where's the baby? I was tempted to snap back with "oh right here under the desk". But,I refrained and said "at the childminder" all the while thinking he had just asked a remarkably stupid questions. He nudges the guys standing next to him and sai "Did you here that? Three weeks old and already at the chilminder?"

This man's name is Richard and I firmly believe he would more appropriately be called "Dick". I still don't give him the time of day. Then, about six months later I was prometed to different department, and he suddenly wanted to be my best friend. Yeah, right... afraid that's not going to happen, dick.

GRRRR

I hope Lippy comes back soon, isn't she our official "thread starter"? Although I think Katz has been known to dabble too.

Uwila - sorry about your stresses. I don't blame you in the slightest for your attitude to disposables, I wouldn't even think twice about cloth nappies in your situation. I think on the cleaner, I would simply tell dh you expect him to find the money - I'm guessing his hobbies aren't free.

I sent Lippy a CAT earlier in the week, haven't heard anything back from her. I hope everything is ok, I miss her and her cheerful posts.

And Tessiebear. Where are you????

Scraggyaggy, hope you are feeling better very soon.

Welshmum, you're so right about being honest...that's sometimes the curse of early motherhood, everyone pretending it's ok and they are fine, when inside they are stressing out completely. No doubt I'll be on here daily, moaning and complaining and driving you all mad.

DH's control of the finances has landed me in a whole I had never imagined people with our income could sink into. I've been telling him to come up with the money for a long time, but I have just come to the shocking realisation that he is not capable of carrying out such responsibilities.

He will be very angry if he reads this post because he will no doubt think this mess is my fault. But, it isn't. I suppose I played a part in that I signed and agreed to loans and credit cards that I knew were a bad idea, but he insisted on. I would complain about spending, but I would not stop it. The time has come for me to stand my ground.

I don't know how it is going to go, but I am absolutely furious about my loss of maternity leave.

whole = hole

Yes Lippy where are you????????
Thanks Uwila for your post. As I said stupid sensitive day today, purely hormonal! And what a DICK is Dick!!!! Shocking.

ditto about being honest.

The best thing is when you realise that everyone has had bad days, feels like a crap mom, hates their Dh, etc etc

at least we'll all be going through hellish sleep deprivation days at the same time (is that a good thing???)

Lippy, pleae come back. We need you. No one else has a GP in the house.

Actually, I suspect our pleas will go unnoticed because she has probably abandoned the whole computer for a while. (something I would never have the strength to do) I could give up my cooker before my internet.

Oh, that's right I gave up the cooker years ago...

Oh speaking of food, will ya look at the time.... How many bars of chocolate shall I have with my lunch?

redheadmum I think I'll be really glad to talk to other people who are in the same state as me! I won't feel like this half mad woman in an otherwise sane world. That said I am hoping that I will manage to enjoy my maternity leave this time around, looking back I had a pretty hard time with dd. An awful lot of this though was down to her fitting and being told by the prof (rightly) to watch her. Even though it did all disappear by the time she was 3 months I think I became a very, very anxiuos mother who rarely relaxed. I'm longing for this little one to be ok and not to be back in hospital once I've left - I know I'll be a complete bundle of nerves until the first 2 weeks have gone by. (Dd had what they call 5 day fitting - which starts on day 5 after delivery and although entirely benign looks like any other fit)

Btw, on the subject of amniotic fluid for a moment, I had a look at my scan notes and it says "liquor" with a tick next to it. I have been interpreting that as a sign I could start getting p*ssed again (I haven't really, don't worry). But I wonder if that means "yup, we are happy with the amount of amniotic fluid but god knows, we aren't going to waste time telling you that". Charley, let me know what you have in your notes!

Uwila - over here , where I occasionally post, it is nearly always the case that one partner takes the brunt of sorting out the debt crisis whilst the other tries to pretend it's all fine. I would say more often than not, particularly where there are kids involved, it's the woman who takes the brunt whilst the bloke demands 'pocket money' or - my personal favourite - smokes like a chimney whilst she's desperately doing a bit of Mystery Shopping to get enough dosh together to feed his children. (That's a quite extreme example, I have to say). It is HUGELY frustrating, and to be doing it whilst you have one dd to look after and a ds on the way is asking a hell of a lot of yourself, I think. Anyway, you may find that resource useful, if only to be able to speak to other people going through similar experiences.

Morning all!
Thanks to Lua and Mrs Wednesday for thinking about me - i have been around a bit, but have had a horrid cold!
Have been reading some of the posts etc ... but havnt really been posting myself .. dont know why, feeling a bit down, feeling i didnt have anything to contribute to the discussions that were going on at the time - i know i am just being silly really!
Didnt want to post my own problems as things move so fast on here that if noone responded i would feel like noone cared enough to reply - i KNOW that sounds really selfish and silly - i am going through a period of feeling really sensitive about everything at the moment!!!!
Sorry about your financial problems Uwila -hope they get sorted. We have in the past taken on too much debt and it takes such a long time to pay back.

BTW - the other reason i havnt been around much is that (despite everything being absolutely fine) i am feeling really fed up with this pregnancy - feel like i have missed the "blooming period" am constantly tired, uncomfortable, huge already, look like a matron and cant beleive i have another 4 months left..... also really miss having a drink

I feel REALLY selfish for admitting this but i feel that since my scan i have not yet come to terms with having another boy when i so desperately wanted / thought it would be a girl. I want to be as excited as i was with DS's but i really feel like i am going through the motions and cannot feel excited or look forward to it. Suddenly all the hard parts of a newborn are at the forefront of my mind (sleepless nights) , feeling and looking even worse that when pregnant, less time to fit everything in... and all i can think of is everyone looking into the pram with that look on their face as they say "Oh, ANOTHER boy" like it is some kind of crime to only produce the same sex babies

Tessie - do you really think people will say "not ANOTHER boy" when they look at your baby? If only you lived in China or maybe here but 200 years ago when people valued boy babies far more than girls, then you would be the queen of your town and everyone would cheer you wherever you went (Maybe not, but you get what you mean).

Sounds like you're having a pretty crappy time, as a lot of us are just now - this pregnancy lark is definitely not all it's cracked up to be. Obv I can't advise you from experience, but I reckon when the bean arrives you will be so pleased you won't care that he is another boy. (And you never know, scans aren't foolproof so a chance still exists he might be a she!) Alternatively, you could see if anyone in the hospital fancied doing a swap when ds3 is born When my sister and SIL were pregnant at the same time, one wanted a boy and the other a girl (so of course they each got what the other wanted). But I don't think they seriously considered swapping them over.

Tribpot - its ironic isnt it?? My cousin who is due a month before me DESPERATELY wanted a boy and has got another girl - her DH actually cried in the scan room when they found out (possible swap there!)

Oh Tessiebear you poor old sausage. Do you think it's really about the gender of the baby or about feeling overwhelmed by what's ahead? I've decided that I genuinely don't mind what it is along as it sleeps!

I've also decided that I'm not going to put up with anyone looking my pram and passing comment. It reminded me of a friend who had triplets - to people who peered at her little family she used to say '2 girls, 1 boy and it's none of your business' - before they even started to speak.

Wonder if Welshie is ever going to tell us what she is having?????????

Hugs to you Tessiebear. As a third-timer, it's not surprising you are looking ahead to the first few weeks with a sense of doom...I know I am! Regardless of whether your baby is a boy or a girl, you are still going to feel exhausted when it arrives, so perhaps the scan has just been the catalyst for these feelings, rather than the sole cause. Although I would bet that it's completely normal to be disappointed and sad...Cobweb said the same thing, didn't she? You have to say goodbye to your dreams of a little girl which is a lot to come to terms with.

Have you spoken to any other mums of boy gangs? There are quite a few on here aren't there? Didn't your friend just have her third boy? From everything I've read on here about mums and their boy gangs, they all seem to be extremely happy with their lot...a family of all boys sounds like chaotic but brilliant fun.

Sorry, I'm just wittering on here. Really glad you are back.

I think a lot of us are struggling a bit at the moment - it's the end of a long, crap winter and we are all getting to the uncomfortable lumbering stage so it's not really surprising.

Uwila - you know I'm under strict orders
Tessie - just noticed I called you a sausage - it's a term of affection in our house - hope you don't mind.