Due in June - Thread 9

[teabelly]

Brand new thread as ordered...

Trib, I'm impressed chocky at that time of the morning ...soooo how do you have yours?? I bite the top off, suck out the filling and save the choc til last, yum!

Night night Uki, hope you are feeling less peeved about it in the morning. I think you should wear your lowest cut top next time you teach the same class (That's definitely what Erin B would do).

Night Uki Sweet dreams.

Don't Dinky diapers come out as far as you Mrs f? I know I am thinking of using them - I don't want the stink in the flat or the bills. They are something like £8 a week and will give you nappies at the beginning even if you suppliament with your own.

Have nothing interesting to contribute this afternoon, but I am about to tuck into a Double-decker. Yum yum.

Sorry you had such a crap afternoon Uki. I reckon the other girls were right - she's jealous of your knockers .

Lindor chocolates get a big thumbs up from me too Teabelly. I'm too obsessed with chocolate to click on that link though Katzguk.

Very, very impressed with both your DDs Katz and Lua. I really should get DS potty-trained before baby comes along but I just can't face it.

KVG, I missed your post earlier about your dad. Does he have any interests he could get involved in on-line or in RL? My dad moved to the South of France on his own a couple of years and found the best way to make friends was to join the local golf club. Now he's got a better social life than I have.

Right, can't type and eat chocolate at the same time so I'm going to have to go.

Arrrhhhhhh!!!! Bloody Auditors, AARRHHHHHHHHHHHH

Sorry had to let of some steam there...have had a shit day so far with inept people asking stupid questions ...feel much better now that I've managed to grab a min on here though

I may just have to go out and get some chocolate to cope with it all, he he he! any excuse eh!

Uki - I agree with the others jealousy, it's a nasty little devil, eh ...still I believe if you've got it flaunt it

Oh no!!!!!!!!!!gonna have to go already 'Jabba' the short incomprehensible leader of the auditors has found me again ...will try to catch up tomorrow, ds permitting. Have a good evening, x

have already had a dairy milk caramel, but could go for another choc break. Am trying to resist as I didn't get over last pregnancy before this one

can't wait to finish work now but still have a few months to go....my mind is just not on work stuff at the mo'. Don't think I'll be able to return this time around too as the childcare will be about the same as my wages - how depressing is that?! What are other mums on No. 2 thinking about doing work-wise (if at all)?

Wow. A long weekend away and more than four hundred posts to read. Not sure I've ever read so many people's thoughts about chocolate.

Am not a choccie fan myself, but since getting preg have been stuffing myself with crisps. Have had intrusive thoughts whilst at work about prawn crackers.

Has anyone else found that the beginning of each month has started to get more significant now that it brings us ever nearer to the month?

I went back after a year. I was glad to have the whole year, both in terms of time off with Dd but also was just so knackered was glad not to have to do with work as well! My Dd was not a good sleeper though, and was still waking for a feed at 5am at one year....

I did like going back to work - if only so I could go to the toilet and get a coffee when I wanted! Also I was able to come back part-time which worked well for me.

I think you really don't know how you feel til you've had the baby- though most mums I know prefer a longer time off before going back to work.

Would agree with you there redheadmum, about the coffee and the toilet breaks. And the fact that, once I'd dropped DS at nursery, I only had a handbag, not an enormous changing bag. Ahhhhhhhh the liberation

If I'm honest, I was gagging to go back to work. I didn't feel like I was any good at the baby stuff, and spent most of my maternity leave feeling anxious and stressed. I'm hoping I'll feel a bit more in control second time round, able to relax and enjoy it rather than worry about doing everyting wrong all the time.

Lummox, I know what you mean about the start of the month! And every time I see the new 'due in xxx' threads appear in the ante-natal club bit, I feel that bit closer to the big day. Scary.

I have recurring thoughts about this chocolate drink some tv chef made a few weeks ago.

It consisted of a massive bar of posh milk choc, a slightly smaller one of posh dark choc and I think some posh white choc, all melted together then about half a pint of cream stirred in. And that was it! - went straight in the mugs! Apart from a little bit of cocoa powder sprinkled on top

Tea - not much time to go then the week of auditors and Jabba (lol) is over for you isn't it?

Hi Lummox! Me and my doggie shared a massive bag of prawn crackers from the Thai just the other night. Still warm. Hmmm.... I'm 25 weeks tomorrow and cannot believe I'm going to get even bigger! Dp caught site of me starkers from the side last night after dins (I was changing in something more comfortable) and almost fainted

MrsW I'm the same when there's a new ante-natal thread beginning

I wish I felt the beginning of the month a significant thing Lummox. I feel it is an impending unavoidable situation.

I don't understand the chocolate thing at all. It is some kind of unfathomable club I have never been a paid up member for. Though I do have a penchant for chrisps. I must say I don't really eat anymore than is actually necessary as I am simply not prepared to carry any more weight than is needed for the process of pregnancy. I checked with the midwife the other day and I have put on the exact stipulated amount of weight for the point in pregnancy.

I am just glad I am realistic about this whole process and hope to escape postnatal depression. Though lately I have been considering if I do get bad post natal depression I will seriously have to consider the future as perhaps not being as I had intended. The amount of current apathy and depression I am living under just can't continue. I have serious doubts about my ability to bond with my son and have thought for a significant amount of time that I might be doing the wrong thing and have considered what it would mean to give him up. On the one hand I want to meet him because I have been carrying him around for ages - I have alot invested in this. but on the other I think that is a natural curiosity. Though after I have him I'll really have to think seriously because presently I keep on trying to be positive but I really have been thinking about giving him up.

I am glad at how much my life has moved on. I guess it is the first time I am really seriously thinking about investigating other avenues. I have alot invested in the unborn child his health etc... I think I'll have to arrange some sort of appointment with a professional to work out what will be best. I have been white knuckling it during the pregnancy trying to tell myself it'll be ok when he is here. Realistically if I am suffering depression when he arrives this isn't going to work. He can't solve my problems and I may very well not be someone healthy for him to be around.

I guess you tell yourself alot of lies...

End of the month tends to have more significance for me, with the bean being due on 24 June. But I know what you mean about the new 'due in' threads, remember when we were all new kids on the block trying not to vomit whilst we typed our messages to each other ... ah, happy days.

MrsF, I continue to be most distressed on your behalf that you cannot join in our choccie obsession. Fair enough if you don't want to, a la lummox, but v harsh if you actually want to eat it and can't.

Btw, on related matters, my heartburn seems to be getting steadily worse, how is everyone else faring?

Oh Pink! You poor thing, sounds like you're completely down at the moment Pregnancy takes ages doesn't it? I suppose with being on your own, not working full time, and just settling into a new life after being so frantic, you might be finding you have more time to yourself, and therefore are thinking deeply and worrying about all kinds of stuff. A first pregnancy is scary. I'm scared. I still can't believe I'm actually going to be a mum (hopefully). Isn't there a single mum's group near you you could join? Does Gingerbread still exist? Do you post on the single mum's threads here?

Pink, it sounds like it's getting a bit too much for you at the moment. Is there any chance you could be suffering with ante-natal depression? It's more common than you might think, what with all the hormonal changes going on. Not to mention everything else you've got going on in your life at the moment.

I think keeping an open mind about post-natal depression is a wise move - it would be useful if you could talk to a health visitor or midwife as well, just so they make sure they are supportive after the baby is born. I don't know what they are like in your area, but here everyone seemed very keen to check for PND, I had questionnaires to fill in about it and everything.

The weird thing about pregnancy (I felt this with DS but also this time round) is that it isn't ANY preparation for having a baby. For me, even feeling the baby move didn't make it any less of an abstract concept. I'm not explaining myself very well, but I think what I'm trying to say is that you can't second-guess how you'll feel when your DS is born. I'm not trying to say that your worries aren't valid because they are, but if at all possible, you should try not to get too depressed about something that might not happen.

Oh god, I'm really just waffling on. Sorry.

Sending you a big hug. We are all here to talk whenever you feel it gets too much.

Pink - just wanted to add to Charley's comment that I think all of us first-timers are feeling completely out of our depth and that's despite most of us being older, more financially secure and of course having dps around to help shoulder the burden.

I know my Swedish friend who decided to go ahead with her pregnancy alone last year had a hell of a time - I didn't really appreciate quite how much til now, I must say! - and I also know that now her ds has arrived she wouldn't change things for the world. However, you may not feel the same - as MrsW says, it's probably best to keep an open mind and see how things go. It's an unknown quantity for all of us, but I hope we can help you feel less alone.

Its not the being alone thing that bothers me so much. It isn't the scary mum things. It is simply the all encompassing depression. I think the hormones just aren't good for me - I can't take the pill because the hormones send me over the edge. Then being depressed leads to such apathy I keep having these dreams which I know have some basis in the reality that I feel where I have my little boy and I am not even interested in holding him. I am going to the dr's but things just stuffed up. I have always managed depression but it is getting far too virilant now and it effects the way I percieve things. I know if it continues that it isn't just a worry it is a real factor that I might not be able to bond with him at all They closed gingerbread in my area. I have looked into practically everything. I'm going to ring some organisations though. I just am keeping an open mind really - for his sake more than mine.

Thanks I have to go to class now and proffer the work I haven't really finished. I'm not in college full time but I am taken up alot with my reading group, walking group and yoga. I don't actually have very much time spare and I guess it is tiredness really. I would prefer it if I had less to be doing. I had to do 4 assignments for one subject in the last month (they are due in 20 days) not to mention all the revising I should be doing. I do language which has a serious amount of coursework and I am having to travel so much and the late nights and driving make things upside down. I think I basically have too much on so I can't sleep well and makes me feel more depressed.

Anyway I won't bore you anymore. Thanks for listening

Just thought I would let you know we are completely snowed in! Hubby left work at 1pm and expects to be another 3 hours! Would have to be the day we were meant to be going for the girliest trainers we could find for Holly!

Pink, lots of sympathetic vibes coming your way. It's totally normal to feel this way, what you are doing is life-changing and you have no point of reference for what it will be like. I agree with MrsW, it's impossible to imagine before you have the baby how you will feel about it or how life will be when it's there. And even when it's born, I don't know one single person who didn't come home with this brand new baby, look at it in its cot and think 'what the f**k have I done?' (takes at least a year before you'll admit that one though ). TBH, I actually feel just as abstract about #2, but I'm not worrying about it because I remember that it took me a few weeks after ds was born to really truly believe that I was a mum and that nobody was going to come and change it all back the way it was, iyswim.

I would talk to the midwife, she should reassure you, and also, it is not uncommon to experience hormone-induced ante-natal depression, it's just not as widely discussed as PND. And feeling like this before the birth doesn't mean you will automatically be depressed afterwards, it really doesn't.

Just back from what I thought was going to be an easy MW visit to discover lots of potential problems . All in all is probably nothing but dealing with unknown possibilities is such a torture!!!
DH has his blood taken to sort out the blood antibodies. So hopefully will get a result that he is not M and everything will be fine. But, I asked the mw to measure the uterous fundus again, and it was again 3 weeks ahead of where it should be. I though , OK baby is big. But they immediatly send me to get a growth scan which indicated that babys abdomen is on the 97th percentile, and head is the 50th and that I have way too much amniotic fluid. What this all means? Well, it could be nothing, or it could be something worng with the baby... Will go and see consultant in 2 days!
Sorry for going on and on about my worries! I know we all have a load! Thanks for listening!