Due Nov 2008 - PMA - our tums & bums are growing but we get an excuse to wear big knickers - now that's a stroke of luck!!! x x x

[ChocOrange05]

Hope you like the thread - minds not working so well at the moment!

That can be a sign that your cervix is getting ready for the birth, softening, thinning and dilating. The process can start long before the birth

Wow that's scary! and excting.

Hi all,

Can I play? First baby due 12th November and you all seem lovely and friendly.

Hello Ruthosaurus.. and welcome (wow that sounded like a hippy welcome)..

You're due 2 days before me. How is your pregnany going?

Hi Ruthosaurus - of course you can come and play Congratulations on your first baby - do you know what flavour? You are right - everyone is so lovely on here

Pinkali - am so glad Tarquin is well - it must be a relief for you. Someone told me somewhere (maybe MN?) that babies tend to quieten down when they are going through a growth spurt but not sure if this is true or not. If that is the case, my baby must be continually having growth spurts -might explain the size of my bump

Hi All

I have been taking a leaf out of Oblamov's book and banned myself from Mumsnet for a few days so I can get on with some things. Have to say house is a lot tidier!

Firstly HanaFlower thank you so much for looking at that sling and giving your comments, really appreciate it. Think I will go back to drawing board for now as lack of air/oxygen is one of my greatest baby fears...

Ceebee I emailed my HR dept last week to advise them that their understanding of c/c vouchers is legally wrong as of 5th Oct 08. (They had advised me that as they were voluntary I would have to pay for them via my Stat Mat pay... WRONG!!!!!) I am off this week so am awaiting/dreading their reply on my return! Found some good info on internet about it from HMRC and the Yorshire Post. Can do link if u r interested??? Says that they cannot reclaim the money on your return to work or deduct it from mat pay without risking Sex Discrimination claim.

Finally a big welcome all our newcomers!! Glad you have come to join the fun with us.

Hey Sparkle - I was wondering where you had gone and was hoping everything was ok That link would be great if you don't mind so I have some evidence for my boss when he tries to go down that road (which he will). I look forward to hearing what your HR department says about it - it is so frustrating for me since we are the HR department and they are still trying to evade the issue....grrrr My boss is back from his holiday tomorrow so may tackle him about it next week as I really want it sorted before I leave.

ruthosaurus - congrats on your 1st baby and welcome.

Ceebs "Look here HMRC" This is the link I emailed HR as it comes straight from the Govt's mouth.

This one is more on the employer's side (you will see what I mean when you read it!) so I didn't link this one to HR but it basically sets out the same principles as above for your own reference...Yorkshire Post

Basically if you get your vouchers from a salary sacrifice arrangement it is classed as a change to your contract. As they are legally not allowed to change your contract whilst on maternity then THEY have to pay for the vouchers and cannot deduct from stat mat. Well that is the theory, still not convinced that they will find a way to wriggle out of it but time will tell!

sparkletoes - Sorry I have missed all about your problems with childcare vouchers so going to tell you what I was told but may not be relevant .

I was told by busy bees (the voucher company) that I needed to cancel my voucher deductions (i think until I return to work) as they cannot be deducted from SMP. Which I thought is slightly pants as even though I go on leave from 1st Sept DS is still going to nursery just reduced hours. I'm hoping that tax credits make up the diff of the tax saving I would have had through my wage deduction.

Sorry if none of that is relevant .

vbab78 yes they are correct that vouchers cannot be deducted from stat mat but legally your employer will have to pay for them if the vouchers are provided under a salary sacrifice arrangement. That is the new law as I understand it and comes into force in Oct this year.

sparkletoes - BUM. BUM. BUM. If I understand you correctly.

REALLY CONFUSED AND UPSET NOW. DONT UNDERSTAND OR KNOW WHAT TO DO.

Sparkle - thanks for the info - will have a look in a minute.

Vbab - what Sparkle says is correct so you have been badly advised by Busy Bees. It is part of your contract to receive the vouchers so you are entitled to continue to receive them whilst on mat leave. Ring Busy Bees back and challenge them and ask them to reinstate your vouchers - quote the law at them if necessary and then speak to your HR department about it.

Unfortunately, as you can see, both me and Sparkle are having a bit of a battle about this at the mo with our employers but the law is quite clearly on our side.

Sorry - went on a bit there but I do feel quite strongly about this

Hellooooo!

Sorry to to hear some of you are feeling a bit down in the dumps. It's a funny time - there really isn't that long to go but it does still feel like a while - especially if things are becoming uncomfortable.

Pinkali so glad everythings o.k.!! no strange twinges here so far but plenty of time yet!!

chocolategal hope all goes well at the consultant appointment. OOH! Could you tell me something about getting your carpet shampooed? have never had a desire to do this before but the last couple of weeks have been thinking about it. Is it v. expensive?

Have been up since 7am and still in jimjams so better get organised!
Hope you're all having a good wednesday

Oops sorry - I think I took too long doing that message didn't mean to interupt!

Lol Barb - you are not interrupting!!

Sparkle - just read the 2 documents. The HRMC is bloody hard-going isn't it?? I think the Yorkshire Post one pretty much sums it up and leaves my boss little space to manoeuvre as the options they have mentioned about reclaiming it when I get back to work or just telling me I can't have them are outlined and dismissed Thanks a lot for that as I do feel much more 'armed' when I need to have the discussion!!

goodluck ceebee, sparkle and vbab, sounds like a minefield!

barbareeba this is the 1st time i have had carpets cleaned too, we have just moved into this house and its only 2years old, so carpets in good condition just with a few stains on them so didnt think it was worth replacing them!
i paid £50 for the stairs, top landing and babys room. so def cheaper than new carpets!
hope that helps

Ceebs, really glad you found it useful, it is a good article as it covers most bases. I just didn't want to link to it in my email as it is written on side of employers.

My friend (same co) advised me she had similar battle with our HR when mat pay increased to 9 months so am not really surprised they are so ill-informed on this too!

It is annoying tho and will prob spell the end for childcare vouchers as it could potentially cost employers about £2.5k a year extra. However the swindling buggers did me out of a pay rise/bonus when on maternity last time which I also believe is legally (or at least their reasons were), so I am fighting this one all the way.

contacted busybees for advice. The lady I spoke to said she is aware a change is happening in oct but not sure how it would affect things. So shes going to investigate and phone me back.

If I end up reinstating my busybees now I've lost out of a month of tax free saving on childcare!

I cancelled the busybees because that was what I was advised so I get more SMP (no deductions) and would have to cancel once on SMP because the amount is too low.

ARGH!

That is ridiculous vbab, see what they say but read up on the links I posted so you know your rights. If needed I am going to contact CAB for further advice but won't know outcome of my email until I RTW next week.

REALLY, REALLY do not understand the majority of stuff in those links. Really sorry must be having a thicko day.

Just hope busybees can explain it to me in very simple terms.

what about this sparkle - www.daycaretrust.org.uk/mod/fileman/files/employer_support_and_maternity_leave_07.08.pdf

Yes vbab that link says exactly the same thing. Use that as your back up. Good luck!

sparkle - THANK YOU SO MUCH. I just found that one a little easier to understand with my 2 brain cells.

Just need now to try and decide how much I want vouchers a month now as I dropped DS nursery time to save us unnecessary £ being spent on childcare but if my employer HAS to foot the bill for as they cannot deduct them for SMP then might reconsider? Just dont want to make any enemies, especially once they realise they have to pay), just in case I do return to work.

Hi everyone, Welcome to the new people.
Vbab we are potty training at the moment too.
I think we are around the 6 week mark now (not nightimes) and he is being really good - apart from wetting himself over and over at nursery this week??
We waited until he was happy doing it at home then ventured out for the first time and he was fine, although he does now ask to go ALL the time so he can nose at the loos everywhere! We still have the odd accident but he is really good most of the time. Keep it up if you have got this far it sounds like he is cracking it!!
Hope the voucher schemes all work out and you get some answers soon.
Hope everyone esle is OK