Fab Feb Fourth Thread: are we blooming yet?

[onwardandupward]

Here we are! This should do us for a few weeks...

mrsy....be warned... punping is alot more hassle and aggro than feeding a baby when they're hungry, and you really shouldn't try pumping unless you have to for medical reasons in the first 5/6 weeks as it really can disrupt bf-ing.

dp gave each of ours a bottle or 2 of ebm for the experiance but tbh, he didn't find it any more of a 'bonding' experiance than giving them a cuddle. he always loved letting baby fall aspeep on him and tbh that was far more relaxing for me than trying to pump bottles of milk on the off chance that dc would take them... and that i wouldn't wake up and start leaking all over the bed while lo was crying waiting for him to heat the bottle!

not trying to lecture, just be warned that having too many set ideas about how these things will work can be awfully disheartening when faced with the reality of how you feel after the birth and what you actually find works for you.

the amount of time with dd i wasted trying to get her to settle in her cot 'because you shouldn't let baby fall asleep on you' and all that crap. she had reflux so there was no way that was going to work and it just resulted in months of misery and screaming for all of us. with ds i plonked my ass on the couch in the evening and he stayed down all night til i went to bed, he slept here and there but mostly fed all evening but you know what.... i remember his early months as happy relaxing ones whereas dd's early months, who i don't think fed any more often, i remember sitting in a dark bedroom for hours with a screaming baby and feeling like shit.

first timers, please take this one piece of advice..... ignore the books, mothers, mils, friends, colleagues, MNers who tell you how a baby 'should' be or what the best way to do something is and simply allow yourself to fall into a routine that suits you and your baby, even if that is walking around with the buggy or having baby attached to you 24/7.... if it suits you don't feel guilty just because some people don't approve, as long as baby is happy and it's less stress for you it's the right thing to be doing.

sorry, rant over, you may proceed

On subject of boobs, went to get measured for bras yesterday lunchtime - normally 32F, now 34 FF (at only 16 weeks - this was the size I was when my milk came in with DS at 42plus weeks). Suspect I may explode by the end of the pregnancy if they keep growing at this rate!

gives PinkTulips a massive round of applause

ds spent many of his formative hours propped in a car seat (horrors) watching Big Brother (double horrors) and he is a total joy.

God knows what I'll do with no 2...#

waits for knock from social services

don't worry, i'm pretty laid back and open to all things - if something doesn't work as i imagined it, i just adapt. it's just as we were trying for so long, i used the time to research ideas and chose different options (some of which have changed a few times) so i feel like i've been pregnant for about three years already!

won't pump at first as i think it would be a waste but i know how lovely i find feeding my neices.

like i said mrsy, not trying to lecture... the whole 'pumping so dh can give me a break' rang alarms bells though as a woman i chatted to loads on my aug06 group spent alot of time and angst doing this and after a week or 2 it decended into he dh giving formula as there wasn't enough ebm and her stressing about pumping enough and eventually giving up pumping and just giving formula at that feed, and then saying 'she's so much more settled after that feed than after the middle of the night one, i'll just give formula at night from now on..... can you see where this is heading?

i felt bad for her and tried to offer advice but at that point there's little enough you can say without it coming across as lecturing and sounding like a smug militant bf-er

Thank you swampster!

I have got a thicker bra but it's getting a bit small around the back.

It happened today while the weirdo guy in the playground was talking to me. He is the dad of one of dd's friends and he has told me before that he is a time traveller and he has a portal at the top of his stairs and if he runs up the stairs at exactly the right speed he will enter a paralell universe and I was trying to listen to him ernestly and cover up my enormous nipples which felt like they were going to pop off.

I've shared too much haven't I?

maybe he stirred up an inate doctor who fantasy!!!

Hands up who thinks MS is time-travellerist.

Sorry...just been trying to read through the posts....which facebook group are you using?? Il try join now

Pumping is not a break, don't ever listen to anyone (OH, GPs etc) who says otherwise.

Breastfeeding, whip the boob out, stick baby on, sit back with refreshments/ remote/ laptop/ book.

Pumping:

Wash and sterilise the pumping equipment.
Sit down for (in my case) 45 minutes to express enough milk.
Wash and sterilise bottle.
Warm bottle.

In the meantime your body isn't responding in the right way to the demand, because it's not there, so your supply is being effected. Your child is getting an artificial teat and there is a chance that s/he will reject the nipple because it's too much like hard work, it's like a game of Russian Roulette, some children will take to it, some won't. Baby could refuse bottle because Mummy is in the house and baby feels cheated. You're uncomfortable because baby hasn't fed at the right time. Night feeds are devastating for supply and the most common one for dad to take over.

I think it's selfish of any extended family member or OH to ask to feed the baby. There are plenty of ways to bond with a baby and breastfeeding is the only one Mum can do - bottlefeeding doesn't require hormones and is not much different from a cuddle. If your extended family or your OH really want to do something for you, get them to do one of the following:

Prepare food for you
Prepare a basket of snacks for a day (trust me, when you have a nurse-in you will need it)
Do some housework
Give baby a bath
Take baby for a short walk

(any others?)

Swampy I challenge you to do the school run with me and endure the conversation!

Now can someone start a new thread and we shall never speak of my nipples again!

ive just requested to join mumsnet mums due feb 2009 is that the one?

Evening everyone.

Pink I second the pumping thing. DD had very bad reflux and at one stage she didnt put on any weight for 4 weeks and droped 3 centiles (sp?). Was told at hospital that I had to measure what she was taking, and mix her meds with the milk. So I expressed for a week. I had the bloody pump attached to me at all times because I could only get 2 or 3 oz out at a time. Gave up in the end and was advised to use a special formula. So sadly I stoped breast feeding when she was 4 months old.

She still struggled to gain weight and was still very sick so I felt robbed really. I will not be expressing this time and will not be preasured into anything either.

my only worry is that i have funny nipples, and if she (or he) doesn't latch properly i'd rather use ebm than formula.

and i can't see how doing housework will help john bond with the baby.

it's not an absolute plan, and i'll probably use it once a week or so, but it must be nice to go out for an evening or for a day and not deprive the baby of the milk she's used to.

I'm with PinkTulips and TinkerBellesMum here, mrsy. Best to establish breastfeeding before even thinking about expressing. It really isn't much fun and small babies can get nipple confusion.

With DS1 I only expressed when I had to - once a day to relieve boob agony when I was back at work three days a week.

He was more than six months old by then and never got into taking it in a bottle - I have a funny enzyme thing where my milk tastes like soap once it has been chilled and warmed UNLESS you scald it before chilling it...

With DS2 never bothered - had a whole year off work and only go in once a week.

Both self-weaned - DS1 at 13 months, DS2 very recently at 2 years and a bit. Was feeling sad that I wouldn't be doing any breastfeeding again when I discovered...

I was crap at expressing. Only ever managed a couple of ounces, although had loads of milk, so gave up.

I said if they want to help you then it's one way to do it. Dad's get plenty of bonding time with the baby, Mum's need sleep! When Dad is around sleep as much as you can and let him have baby. He can spend time cuddling, talking, bathing, changing, nappies etc. TBD did everything for her when he was around apart from the feeds. There's nothing in giving a bottle to promote bonding - not to say you can't bond over a bottle, but it's not the bottle that's doing it. People dismiss breastfeeding far too easily by trying to replace Mum when it comes to feeding, but the bottle is no subsititute, for contents (EBM is only the next best thing to "from the tap" milk) benefits or bonding.

If you have problems breastfeeding because of the shape of your nipples then you will find a pump painful. I'd suggest that you get some support now rather than waiting for baby to be born.

Shall we make a club lardy? Support each other when we feel like we're starting to be pushed into supplementing?

Just to explain the position I'm coming from, I had a baby in the unit and had to express. It's hard work, I was pumping every 4 hours, day and night, and I was still only getting drops at a time. I had growth problems a little later on and my HV pressurised me to supplement. I had backing from my paediatrician and BF experts but they said to supplement so we could get HV off my back. It did affect my supply and I never gave her a full feed. I was never able to exclusively breastfeed again.

I'm now trained as a peer supporter with the NHS.

So what I'm posting is coming from a lot of heartbreaking experience and from the educated POV of a peer supporter.

I'm not trying to put you off anything, we all have to do what fits our own life, but I'm trying to help you make informed decisions before the baby comes because there is a lot of bad information out there where breastfeeding is concerned.

Blimey you lot have been yapping loads since this morning!

Tink im not that bothered about injecting insulin just that ive never had GD so early on so its going to be a literal pain in the arse for the next 5 months but im not worried about me just want my lo to be alright as my last one wasnt initially - you are right it could be alot worse and its def not :-D

lmao Markstretch i get that nipple thing - im dreading it getting cold as they will just be perma erect i think it must be a pregnancy thing ;)but ive gotta say i do envy you those interesting people that you meet in the playground heh heh

Ive just requested to join the facebook group mumsnet mums due feb 2009 - dont know anyones real names though (obviously)

Ok i havent requested i was going to but saw it was a closed group ... can i join ? pretty pleeeaze?

no its not i did request but obviously i have problems with technology today ( either that or my brain is shrinking - ill take the latter ) I'll get my coat ...

in terms if the fb group, are you able to include your mn names when you request to join, then i know i'm accepting the right people!

and i didn't mean to be deffensive about the pumping thing. it just seems like something worth trying. if it doesn't work, i've only spent 15 quid, so i'll live! thanks for the advice but just as it would be awful to be pressured into doing it, it's not nice being pressured into not doing it IYSWIM?

Rosey yes lets start a club for free choice and no bullying. I had the paediatrician and the HV on my back. When I said no I want to carry on they started on dp who then got on my back as well. I had no chance really.

The formula didn't even work anyway but it was too late by then to turn back. She isn?t a big milk baby to this day she much prefers her food. I think they should have encouraged me to wean at 4 months rather then give formula but that?s my opinion only, don?t know the facts behind early weaning and may be just a selfish view on my part.

Hello everyone!

I was totally crap at expressing too! Found it started making me sore and so made breastfeeding a little more uncomfortable so I stopped trying to express. Handy if you can do it though.

Is anyone suffering with headaches? I am really suffering. I'm sure the heat isn't helping but oh boy these headaches are a real pain

heat??????? I have had the heating on today because I have been so cold..