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Connect with mums-to-be with similar due dates to share experiences and support.

Due in June 7 - the one with all the boys!!!

548 replies

katzguk · 09/02/2005 15:41

yeah new fresh and clean thread!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
JonahB · 11/02/2005 13:26

I agree Charley. Nothing beats a good curry at your local. Or even takeaway. We've got every excuse this week as we are without a cooker or hob at the moment (new kitchen being fitted)

Jenny, I love your malteser idea. Is it a mother-to-be's prerogative to lean a little one way to ensure we get our "fair" share? After all, we are feeding two now.....

JennyWren · 11/02/2005 13:32

Well, don't they say that pregnant mums need extra calories in the third trimester? If it's an order from the midwife then I think that a gentle lean is the least we can do to fulfil our obligations

katzguk · 11/02/2005 13:38

lipstick - congrats on the little girl

re painting the nursery we are going with a garden themed room (i think i may have said before). The walls are being painted with grass and sky and on one wall will be a ladybird, one wall a butterfly and one wall a snail. I have seen a sun light that i want for the centre of the room and DD has already got a moon light. Ikea do leaf canopies so DD is having one for her bed. i can't wait to get started!!

right off to teach some grotty undergrads having spent all morning in the lab with my masters student!! ahhhhhh i need more mumsnet time!

OP posts:
mrsflowerpot · 11/02/2005 13:52

Hi everyone

Lipstick, glad everything is OK and congrats on the girl. I think most of us have a preference even if you'd have trouble getting us to admit it under torture, I think I'd really like a boy again, would rather have 2 the same iyswim.

But we still don't know, very camera shy baby! Had my re-scan this morning, everything fine, amniotic fluid levels have gone up and we were told to go away and get on with it, which was exactly what we wanted to hear! But they still couldn't see if it was a girl or boy, although tbh they were looking for other things today so i don't think she looked that hard. So we will have to have a surprise in 18 weeks time. Never mind, just have to get thinking on the names now, haven't really done that much yet as we were assuming we would find out what it was first.

Have good weekends everyone, am off to my mums for half term, let Grandma take the strain while I put my feet up I think.

Uwila · 11/02/2005 13:59

Ok, the birth story...

Well, I had a problem free prenancy and never even thought about a caesarean. My mother and two sisters seemed to have babies with no complications so I just thought genetics would prevail and I would do the same. So, the due date came... and went... all the while the midwives are saying, oh that;s okay, perfectly normal, blah blah blah... So at two weeks overdue (one week on their erroneous date changem but that's another story), they referred me to the consultant. To say I was anxious at this point doesn't even begin to describe it. I had been reading on the internet how the placenta can start to deteriorate at 41 or 42 weeks and result in a reduced oxygen supply to the baby. Sounded like a bad thing to me. Anyway, so midwife picks up the phone to call the consultant for an appointment the following week. This was on a Friday, and she sat there asking them for the latest possible appointment in the next week. She then explained to me that I should tell them that I want to go as long as possible and really don't want to be induced. And, keep in mind, I've already voiced my concern about deteriorating placenta. So, anyway, you can guess what I did when I left the surgery. I went straight home, phoned the consultant and asked for an earlier appointment. But, no luck. They were all booked up. So, the next Friday FINALLY rolls around when I am 2 weeeks overdue, rather than the one that the midwives insisted on going by. I explained everything to the consultant, why I believed I was two weeks overdue, I told them what the midwife had said to me about going as long as possible (although refused to reveal her name because my aim was not to get her in trouble, but to get some medical attention for me and DD). The consultant agreed that I could be induced that night. She also did a sweep(by the way if anyone offers any of you a sweep and tells you it will be a bit uncomfortable: RUBBISH it will be painful). I went home. We went out for our seventh curry in nine days, which obviously doesn't work! Off to the hospital after dinner. Around 9:00 the nurse cam in to do an exam and give me the induction pessary... gross, ouch, I'll skip those details. By the next morning, things were sort of picking up but not much. That afternoon I started to feel mild contractions. And then there was this really painful one. Finally at 9:00 after hours of prodding from me, they arrange for me to go down to delivery (because that's where the good drugs are... . I insisted on having an epidural before I would let them break the waters (which is basically a long stick with a hook that they stick up you to break the bag) yuk. Anyway, the first midwife couldn't figur out the trick. Then, a new midwife came in to relieve her (shift change). New midwife was much more experienced. So, anyway, epidural in, waters broken, contractions on the screen. But, oops, the epidural is only numbing one side (this is common and if it happens to you tell them and the anesthatist wil come adjust it so it is properly centeres in your spine and hence numbs both sides). Oh, forgot to mention that baby never engaged down into the pelvis, and that's a clue for the things to come in the rest of this story. So, I get the epidural topped up with the stronger medicine because the weak stuff isn't quite doing it. Oh and I took a breath or two of gas and air here and there, and refused pethidine because I didn't want it to go into the baby's blood system. So, then the monitor is showing dd's heart rate dropping, and she calls the consultant in. They watch the monitor for a bit, heart rate goes back up, and consultant leaves. A while later heart rate drops again. Uwila starting to freak out at this point. Consultant comes back in and says to me that I am only 4 cm dialated and "we need to get this baby out" I said, you mean caesarean, she nodded and said "yes." I said, "ok". Form stuck in front of me to sign. I staart to read it, then think what the F am I dong. Sign it, and give it back. All wires from the monitor are ripped out, epidural upgraded to a block, I am wheeled into theatre, michael is whisked out to get his scrubs on. The block isn't taking effect fast enough. So, the consultant (who as I've previously noted on this site looks like she is just about old enough to drive to work) says one more minute, that's all I'm waiting. She pinched my belly. I said, "I felt that, three pinches" She said we are going to have to put you out. At which point, I was thinking to myself "oh, yes! I've had quite enough of this sh1t anyway. I'd really rather not be here" So, DH returns in proper attire, and I said, "they are knocking me out, you have to leave" He was delighted. He was only there because he knew I wasn't going to give him a choice. The last thing I remember was the medicine was going into my arm and it gave my forearm a painful ache. I said "ouch, tht hurts." But, she didn't really care that it hurt. Next thing I knew, I woke up in recovery with hubby holding baby. I asked him if it really was a girl and how much she weighed. 7 lbs 13 oz. Her apgar score was very good (6 out of 7), and they tested the umbilical cord to see if she was getting enough oxygen and she was.

So, what caused all of this? The umbilical cord was wrapped around her neck twice, around her body and around her foot. So she was literally being suspended by the cord. This is probably why she never descended/engaged. And when the contraction were induced it tightened the cord so much that it caused her heart rate to drop.

They tell me (but I'm a skeptic and don't really believe them) that you could not possibly see where the cord is on a scan before delivery and that that series of events could not have been avoided. hmmmmm.... really? With todays technology you can't see the cord? Don't really believe it.

and further to this, they generally tell you not to show up at the hospital until the contractions are lasting for at least a minute and no more than five minutes apart. What would have happened if I had gone into labour, and waited that long? Would dd have been in distress when I got there? Or would she already have been strangled to death? ANd, to think that the midwives were just telling me to sit home and wait it out? Bloody Hell!

It's almost ironic that the thought of caesarean never even occured to me before they shoving to form in my face to sign. And now I believe them to be the calmes and safest way to deliver a healthy child. A bit of an inconvenience for my recovery perhaps. But, the baby won't be strangled on the way out. Ahhhh....

Actually typing all of this has just been very therapeutic for me and confirmed my decision for a planned caesarean.

charleypops · 11/02/2005 14:09

Welcome back to the June thread jennywren! Glad to hear everythings going so well!! I should think you ARE showing by now!! I have that thing with dp - baby's kicking away merrily, then when dp puts his hand on the bump, he stops. However, if he just hold his hand there lightly, he sometimes doesn't stop. Try that?

Ooh, I haven't eve thought about decorating Podrick's room yet!

Well done MrsF on a better scan! Have a lovely relaxing weekend.

Right i'm gonna start on Uwila's birth novelette. I'll get my cumfort cushion ready to hide behind.....

mrsflowerpot · 11/02/2005 14:13

You know Uwila that sounds like what they were concerned about with me and why I had my elective. Was your dd engaged at all? My ds wasn't, he was completely free at term and they wouldn't induce me or risk my waters breaking because of the risk of the cord tangling. Still waiting to see whether that will repeat itself or whether I'm heading for another section, have to admit having started the pregnancy determined to go for a vbac I'm now much more open to the idea of a section as I've found out more and more about the first time having had a consultant go through my notes properly (only 3.5 years late, but still).

Uwila · 11/02/2005 14:30

MRsFlowerpot, never engaged all the way, but did descend a little, than came back out. It's interesting that you medical team spotted the symptom and said youshouldn't be induced, yet mine claims it was unavoidable. Oh well, since they be othered to check for it ahead of time, they will just have to cut me open. Oh, and medical notes, that's another gripe. We have moved since DD was born. I wrote the old hospital trust asking for my notes, and they wanted a £60 cheque to start with, but might then send me a bill for more. Stuff that! I'm not paying them for my medical notes. So current hospital deosn't have any of my previous medical history. But, I don't really care because then I get to tell the story that way I remember it. And I bet my version has a bit of a different twist than theirs.

KVG · 11/02/2005 14:36

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tribpot · 11/02/2005 14:43

Uwila, fabulously long birth post, I have copied it to a text file to read at leisure

Blimey, not only had I not thought about decorating yet, I hadn't thought about decorating at all! If we do stay here, bean will have to put up with dark blue & white walls chosen by dh before I moved in, if we move we'll be in rented accommodation so I guess it'll probably just have to put up with whatever's there. Will it care? Hope not, cos I loathe decorating. It helps that the place is less than 2 years old, though, so newly decorated throughout.

Uwila · 11/02/2005 14:45

So I really don't agree with people who say birth today is too medicalised, as if that's a bad thing. If it were for the caesarean, DD would not be here today. The cord would have strangled her before she got out. And I t really upsets me when I hear people telling first time mums why natural is so much better.

I'm really sorry if I have freaked any one out with my story. But I just feel that first time mums are led to believe it is all rosy. Then when something goes wrong, they tell you it was unavaoidable. IAnd I hear from Mrs. Flowerpot that her medical care spotted it and avoided it. Now, I didn't really have all the facts when I asked to be induced, did I? Noone mentioned that the baby not engaging could be a sign of something bad. Perhaps we should all see consultants BEFORE things go wrong.

Ok, rant over.... sorry for going on and on and on and on....

Uwila · 11/02/2005 14:49

Trib, we live in a rented accommodation too. Makes decorating a bit tricky. I just go with the white walls and matching duvets (complete with dead rodents )and you can get lamp covers and such. I basically just put stuff in the room that matches.

ALthough DD has added a few bits of artwork around the walls, lovely blue crayon scribble above the changing table.

KVG · 11/02/2005 14:55

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Tessiebear · 11/02/2005 14:55

Lipstick -glad you are back! I must say that i thought that this was the reason you had not posted for a day! Do not feel guilty about your feelings as i think it is natural to have a preference on your second and subsequent pregnacy. No matter how much you tell yourself "oh i could be still TTC or i could be so and so who lost her baby" at the end of the day you are you and you have your own thoughts and feelings on the subject. I have made no secret of my desire for a girl to the point i followed certain old wives tales etc to try and sway things in my favour. I have however been mentally gearing myself for the last 20 weeks to the fact that i think it is a boy. Also i am trying to get over my dissapointment in advance of finding out (Monday btw!) Obviously we will both love our babies to bits when they get here (if not already) - but dont worry - you are not alone in how you feel
I also think you are very brave to admit your feelings as i know of people (noone on here!)who hide their emotions and pretend that they are extatic when you know they are dissapointed.

MrsWednesday · 11/02/2005 15:00

Lipstickmum, I admire you for your honesty about the way you felt, and I also think it's completely understandable to feel some sadness/disappointment. As someone else said, you'll have two DDs that are very close in age, and what a lovely relationship that will be (I have a brother and a sister, and I'm much closer to my sister). Glad that your little girl is healthy - have fun name picking!

Mrsflowerpot, great news that everything is ok with the baby and your fluid levels, not so great that you're growing a shy one! Ah well, we're over half way through now as Jennywren says (welcome back by the way) so you only have to play guessing games for a few more months.

Uwila, that sounds like a very frightening experience. I'm not surprised you want an elective caesarian this time round.

I'm having the same problem with my DH not feeling the baby. Every time he puts his hand on my stomach it stops moving - he sat for about half an hour last night and didn't feel a thing and by the end of it was starting to get sulky with me (like there was anything I could do about it!).

Right, better go. DS is supposed to be having a nap but instead is jumping off the arm of the settee onto a pile of a cushions, over and over again. Think I may have to take him to the park...

MrsWednesday · 11/02/2005 15:00

Lipstickmum, I admire you for your honesty about the way you felt, and I also think it's completely understandable to feel some sadness/disappointment. As someone else said, you'll have two DDs that are very close in age, and what a lovely relationship that will be (I have a brother and a sister, and I'm much closer to my sister). Glad that your little girl is healthy - have fun name picking!

Mrsflowerpot, great news that everything is ok with the baby and your fluid levels, not so great that you're growing a shy one! Ah well, we're over half way through now as Jennywren says (welcome back by the way) so you only have to play guessing games for a few more months.

Uwila, that sounds like a very frightening experience. I'm not surprised you want an elective caesarian this time round.

I'm having the same problem with my DH not feeling the baby. Every time he puts his hand on my stomach it stops moving - he sat for about half an hour last night and didn't feel a thing and by the end of it was starting to get sulky with me (like there was anything I could do about it!).

Right, better go. DS is supposed to be having a nap but instead is jumping off the arm of the settee onto a pile of a cushions, over and over again. Think I may have to take him to the park...

MrsWednesday · 11/02/2005 15:01

Oops, don't know what happened there .

welshmum · 11/02/2005 15:51

Lippy I'm so glad you're back with us and thank you for sharing how you felt around your scan. I think it's totally natural to feel how you did and you mustn't feel remotely daft about it. I agree that it's probably more prevalent in 2nd time mums to have a definite preference for the baby's gender and arranging your face/emotions when you're told the opposite is really, really hard. Here's a cyber tissue and a big hug and I know your dd2 will be a complete treasure - to you and to dd1.
Uwila - that is truly scary. All I can say about my elective was that it was a calm, even peaceful experience, I have nothing but good memories of it. I wish you the same with number 2.

JennyWren · 11/02/2005 15:51

I was told that a lot of babies beome still when the dad put's his hand on the bump, and it's because the baby can tell the difference between the mother and the father. The dad's pulse is slower than the mum's, and that feels different to the baby. I guess they must get used to it, because our baby now kicks for his/her dad - most of the time...

Scraggyaggy · 11/02/2005 15:53

Hi,

Just thought I'd better post to let you all know I am ok. Have had a hard week travelling about - London as normal and then Bristol for 2 days on courses, and today I am just too tired and ill with a cold to do anything so I have been moping about the house.

Am going to go grab a Lemsip and a couple of hours shut-eye now. So, I'll catch up on all your news later on. (Will probably take me another week to read it all!!) xx

Lua · 11/02/2005 16:00

Gladto hear from Lippy and Scraggy!

Scraggy - hope you feel better soon! I have been home with DD today. Fora change she is sick and I am not,so I actually I had a nice quiet day at home.

Lippy - Glad to hear you are OK! As you know, we are going through similar feelings but for opposite reasons. Big hug to you!
But you know... Dh and I are are not too dumb and we have a nice set of teeth, so DS might be worth a good bartering for just the right nice girl , interested??

LipstickMum · 11/02/2005 16:11

Welcome back Scraggy, sorry to hear you've had a hard week, travelling can be especially difficult and tiring during pregnancy. Check what's in your Lemsip and don't take anything extra i.e. some ibuprofen too. I'm not sure if Lemsip have both paracetemol and brufen in them. Another thing that's great for a cold is Olbas Oil sprinkled on the pillow. It really helps you breathe at night.

Now I'm off to read Uwila's birth story...

LipstickMum · 11/02/2005 16:11

Welcome back Scraggy, sorry to hear you've had a hard week, travelling can be especially difficult and tiring during pregnancy. Check what's in your Lemsip and don't take anything extra i.e. some ibuprofen too. I'm not sure if Lemsip have both paracetemol and brufen in them. Another thing that's great for a cold is Olbas Oil sprinkled on the pillow. It really helps you breathe at night.

Now I'm off to read Uwila's birth story...

Uwila · 11/02/2005 16:25

Welshie (or anyone else whose had a caesarean),
Did you take arnica? I keep hearing how wonderful it is to aid recovery. But, to be honest, I'm not a big believer in the all matural things. I have more faith in drugs that have to go through some rigorous testing before anyone can sell them to me.

So, I've heard enough people praise it, then I'm thinking about giving it a go.

LipstickMum · 11/02/2005 16:28

Apologies for the double post

After reading Uwila's post I think it's important for us all and especially 1st timers to have a really open-mind about what can happen during labour. Uwila's 1st labour was not what she'd planned, nor was mine, although mine wasn't quite that traumatic, but it could have been!

I'm so grateful to all of you who have commented on my absence and have shared your thoughts about my scan. It's so good to have an outlet and know I'm not alone and supported. Now I wont harp on about it anymore

Can't remember who said about Dad's not being able to feel baby..? Someone else posted about Dad's heartbeat being different etc...? Anyway, it's the same with us and I have found that during both pregnancies, a lighter touch will be enough for Dad to feel something. Later on, it wont matter, those kicks will be hard enough for him to see and feel

Welcome back JennyWren