Due in Jan 2009 - Grumps, bumps and heffalumps (the 3rd thread)

[LenniEd]

He he Loved that idea FLF!

Back from a weekend away and not caught up properly yet but welcome feedmenow and I am sleeping on my side cos can't get comfy any other way - am also using a spare pillow to prop me up, DH banned my boomerang pillow last pg after he got fed up of all the upheaval in the bed every time I wanted to turn over in the night - but then things do get a bit that way later on.

I used to love watching birth videos when I was last pg, not going to go there this time - really don't need reminding! I'm with whoever said about why people post their birth videos on the internet - especially the full on explicit ones, not sure I'd want all my friends, relatives, acquaintances and colleagues being able to have a good look at my fanjo and pregnancy affected stomach, bum and thighs!!!!

Yes, chefswife I do re-read my posts, usually just after I have pressed the post button and I've usually made some awful gaff.

Yep MissHairspray I feel exactly like that sometimes - especially as DD is in a really adorable phase right now and having one changes your life for sure but there are a lot of things that you can carry on doing more or less the same. Having two is going to make a lot of that stuff a lot lot harder so sometimes I think 'Oh no, what have we done' and have conversations along those lines quite regularly with DH (who incidentally thinks it is wonderful we are having another). I think it is perfectly normal to be apprehensive and I'm sure people here and in RL would understand you having moments of doubt.

If it helps, we have managed to carry on with more or less the same lifestyle really since DD was born. We still go away often, we still go out for meals (DD has been to a lot of restaurants and is so used to it she rarely causes any trouble), we still go out to parties occasionally (with DD) and we still go out together and apart with friends. We still spend our weekends watching sport, walking and doing all our other hobbies - we just find different ways round things as DD has got older and now sh joins in with a lot of stuff. It is harder obviously but if there is something you are committed to carrying on doing you will find a way to manage it with a baby. The thing that will change forever though is you will never have as much time on your hands again - I often wonder what I did with my time before I had DD! And also I have never felt carefree since DD was born, even when I am not with her.

MissHairspray
i'm a first-timer and i feel quite freaked out quite frequently about the huge changes that i know titch is going to bring to our lives. i've been presuming that feeling downright ambivalent about this (very much wanted) pregnancy is perfectly normal, and that when s/he arrives, i'm still occasionally going to have days when i wish you could do it in a part-time way... but my sister had a daughter on saturday - first niece, completely gorgeous - and even though she didn't have a terrific time having her and hasn't had much sleep since then, i can see that she's absolutely besotted in a way that suggests that we'll get over the ambivalence in short order.... at least, i hope so.

Thanks for all the welcomes!

But how stupid of me to join you all then not check in for 3 days - so much has happened and I don't know you all yet so I can't keep up!!

But jusy thought I'd stick my opinions in on a few points - boomerang/bolster pillows are fab and IMO all pregnant women should have one. You can sleep on your side/nearly front without worrying about a squished baby.

Giving birth - no, it can't be that bad. I've had 2 sections and was adament on a vaginal birth for my 3rd (which I did!). As scary as it seems, it IS natural and there are loads of things you can do to try and make it easier (or at least, not as hard!)

The ladies with hip pain, have you thought about seeing an ostepath? They can really help line everything up again and it is a really good thing to do in preparation for birth anyway. I don't think they are allowed to treat you between 16 and 17 weeks, but consider seeing one afterwards...

Not sure if you lot have discussed this before, but is anyone having...erm....bowel issues? I seem to swing from constipation to the other!! Not sure whether to take Fybogel in case it makes "the other" even worse! Or will it help balance things out a bit?

MissHairspray I am a third timer and have had plenty of 'wobblies' as my bump gets bigger. No 3 was very much thought about and wanted, but ...

Having two seems to be a nice even number, 4 seats around cafe tables, 4 entries on family tickets for days out and don't even get me started on trying to fit 3 car seats into your average family car!

Was out for a drive today with my gang when I suddenly realised I am going to have to give up my nice comfy front seat, where I can 'sometimes' ignore the bickering coming from the back and will have to spend days out from January squished between two child seats in the back! The only alternative is for us to travel everywhere in the VW camper (we have 4 3-point passenger seatbelts in it) which is great in summer but freezing in winter!

Individually and in my more rational moments, they all seem such small sacrifices to make in return for having another beautiful child, but on a day-to-day/real life basis the amount of changes we are going to have to make can tend to take the shine off things.

I really want to get inside my pregnancy bubble and start looking forward to our new arrival but for the most part am finding this impossible at the moment. I'm hoping that come September when the boys go back to school and DS2 starts reception class full time, I will have more time alone with my bump and maybe start to feel differently about things.

I was so looking forward to being pregnant again, but it feels soo different, both physically and emotionally this time that, if I am being completely honest, I have to confess to being a bit disappointed.

Still, there's plently of time for things to change and I'm sure we will all come round in our own time.

MissHairSpray, your feelings are completly normal. Things will be different and overwelming at first. Before i had my dd (now 22 months) i had not been around children or babies my whole life so when she born i was thrown in at the deep end. I did have days when i just cried and thought 'what have i done' but you seem to adapt and then a few months down the line you can't imagine what life was like without your baby.

It's so true what LenniEd said about wondering what you did with your time before your dc were born!

Hello to any newbies and hello to everyone else too!

Have been away staying with folks and in laws. Back to the chaos of the school holidays and 6 children to entertain! Going swimmingly so far with the 3 year old being up all night with some hideous vomming and poo bug that is sure to sweep them all...

I am looking about 20 weeks pregnant BUT feeling fantastic! All traces of nausea have gone at last and i am back to actually wanting to eat again. Just watch the pounds roll on

The baby is moving round and i have a midwife appointment next week, my first since booking in. Still no sign of 20 week scan date and i am 17 weeks today.

I can't catch up am far too lazy busy, please forgive me

i continuously go back and forth with the 'loving being pregnant' to 'oh my god, this is going to change everything and nothing is ever going to be the same'. i'm 35 and DH and i have been together for 18 years and quite frankly, i've become selfish in the sense that i have so much time for myself... he's a chef. i'm an artist and writer and spend loads of time at home with a bottle of wine or out with friends eating and drinking. i get to go to bed late and sleep late and am responsible for no on but me. i get freaked out occasionally about the changes this is going to make on me, how i'm going to adjust, but in the end, it feels good in my heart. i think it's just important to remember that although a child is important aspect in your life, you need to take care of you first, then you can fully give yourself to others. none of our close friends have children but they are certainly very excited about us having them... they almost see it as theirs too. i see myself doing lots of breast pumping.

Chefswife - agree that maternity/breastfeeding bras are really difficult to get in 34DD. The ones I ordered from the Blooming Marvellous sale never arrived and I got an email just now to say that they are out of stock. I have also been told that it is unusual for small women to have big breasts and am sure it is normal. Following the sizing guides on online websites for maternity clothes has resulted in some enormous stuff being sent to me - the guides seem based on the assumption that a woman's shoulders and ribcage are proportional to her breast size!

Like so many others I have been feeling ambivalent about this long wanted pregnancy. I have read that women who feel this way are less likely to have PND. Maybe because of realistic expectations? Having this baby will transform our lives, and while it is what we want, it will be a big challenge and there is an awful lot about our old life that we will miss.

Chefswife although i love my family sometimes i am a little resentful that i never had any time to myself. I fell pregnant with the twins while half way through my beloved midwifery course. I had worked so hard to get on to it and was absolutely loving it. Within two years i went from no children to 3 as i had dd when the twins were 20 months.

I have been babying since! 10 years this year. I do sometimes crave just a little time to myself, even when the kids are away i am still consumed by them, the guilt is ridiculous.

I think you are in a perfect position to do it now, all settled and ready. How fantastic to have lots of friends to help out too. I have a friend up the road that has been trying for a baby for years and they have just had a wee boy. Both 40's and together for years. They are fantastic parents and so devoted to the wee one, he is scrummy

Babies change your life but just roll with it and all will be well.

My pickle (new name) is doing loads of jumping round this morning, she must have moved in to a different position as i can feel her really well.

Must go and get them breakfast! Poor neglected urchins that they are

Should that roll be a role? God m,y English has gone to pot

I have just bought mothercare bras, 34d. They are shocking. I like this one but it is nursing so will hold out for it. Love the hot milk name!

The selection is good on figleaves though, i have just ordered the pretty Royce one in the maternity section.

Morning all, thanks for sharing your feelings re the amibivalence (sp) thing - it makes me feel a lot less guilty and a lot more normal. I started to make a list last night of the things i'm looking forward to and it really made me feel better - things like me and dh holding the baby for the first time, the first smile, the first trip to the beach as a family. Sounds sappy but it works! And then I found a few threads on mumsnet classics which gave me the best laugh in ages

Have just outgrown my only pair of work trousers so need to do a mad dash this lunchtime to find a mat pair that aren't too hideous. Hasn't the time gone fast? Only a couple of weeks and some of us will be having our '20 week' scans - mines on the 28th Aug.

I am 32F (normally 32E) so I know how hard it is....
So many mat/nursing bras are just so frumpy, especially in larger sizes.

Funny, I had exactly the same feelings this week. Like you lenni, my DD is at an amazing age and I'm falling in love with her all over again. The thought of us having such a short time together like this is almost heartbreaking! I know that she will still get my time, and a lot of it when the newborn is tiny, but I also know what I was like with her as a baby, and that all my hormones will want to look after and stare at the newborn. I'll be torn and DP will have to fight for some attention!

Well folks my normal size is 34GG! So guess I am at a disadvantage to start with.

I ended up in a K cup at the end of my last pregnancy and am already in a HH this time! (Thinking about it, maybe that's why my bump looks small - its being overshadowed! )

I have to recommend Bravissimo - they've brought out a couple more maternity and breastfeeding designs (6 nursing and 8 soft cup designs) this season and go right up through the sizes.

As for the matter of style - I'm afraid I just console myself with being able to get a bra to fit! One or two of them aren't 'too hideous' though.

Historically I've always worn Royce maternity bras, which whilst not exactly the epitome of style, do tend to give quite a good shape.

See - based on this sample of women small ribcages with large boobs are really common

My waist has shrunk back to normal in the past couple of weeks. From the day I got my BFP until then I was hugely bloated/retaining water and essentially needed to wear maternity clothes. Now I have gone back to normal though I can feel my growing uterus. I've pulled out my old clothes and it is great to wear them again.

I can also feel the baby fluttering from time to time cold drinks get a reaction!

I'm having little panic attacks in stages. First was the 'oh god I'm pregnant' which I dealt with and moved on from.
Then it was 'oh god I have to go through labour' which I have dealt with by trying to be as informed as possible. chefswife thanks for the links. I know it can be a bit much but I found them really helpful. Have since watched loads and it's given me a great reality cheack. My attitude now is that I'm going to have my ideal birth plan but go with the flow.
Next came 'oh god I have to look after a tiny baby' Which strangely I felt better about when my friend said 'no, you are going to be a mother'. Seems so much more capable and all us newbies have to start somewhere!
Then I read Mrs olivers minus nine to one. Not a scary or contraversial book I know and for the most part wonderful. I started to freak out about the weening. I hadn't even thought about it which then made me frightend about all the other things i haven't thought about.
Most recently I'm feeling uneasy about all the shopping that has to be done, prams, cots, moses baskets all a bit overwhelming.
And this is all on top of thinking I was never going to have children. There certainly is a lot to get your head around!

Hello everyone. Thought i'd join in! I'm 15 weeks +2, due on 25/1/09. This is my first so just enjoying the novelty of it all at the moment although i think the reality of it hasn't sunk in yet. My belly just starting to show itself now although to everyone else it probably just looks like i've had a large lunch! over the last couple of days just started to feel some flutterings but everyone keeps saying its too early to feel the baby. I'm convinced its not wind though!

Welcome lovelyveg, its my first too so am am so excited and scred all at the same time.

MrsMagpie your post made me chuckle or though I can't decide whether you are very brave or slightly mad to throw yourself into so much detail, I am still at the 'oh god I'm pregnant' stage and still haven't moved on from last weeks denial abotu the whoel 3rd trimester.

Am very excited about baby coming I just can't wait to be at home lookign after it, I know it will be a real challenge and so difficult but i can't wait, on the other hand I am finding being pregnant at work really difficult. Work is doing my head and I work in a very agressive IT environment and I am not a very aggressive person so I usually survive by staying ahead of everyone on everything and am fast realising that I can't do that effectively at the moment. I can't handle these emotions either, i burst into on someone in a lunchtime meeting today because they just kept ranting, it was cry or tell her to shut the F up! So opted for crying (decided it was a close call but potentially the more professional option!), feel such a wuss now. i have been in since 8 this morning and am in meetgins until 7 tonight...... I just want to go home and sleep

Is anyone else still this tired?

Am right with you booksgalore, burst into tears on DH last week because i had been runnign aroudn doign ironing, shopping and house work and he hadn't even noticed, let alone said thank you.... he gave me a hug and put me to bed, wise move me thinks!

And i forget what i am telling ly team at work to do half way through giving out the instruction, they think i am goign crazy, luckily my direct reports are very nice about it. Its only the ranty bossy ones i want to punch!

Thin i keep feeling baby move, and am gettgin lots of stretching pains (like period paisn that last for abotu a minute?)
Can't share in the bra problem though was a very standard 34B now and a pretty unexciting 36C!

Went maternity clohes shoppign last week though on my 16th week milestone, and had a and time, went across to Clapham area and they have a blooming marvelous and a Mama Jebe (or something like that - i forget the name), and another cool shop, had a fab time :-)

So are those shops all close together in Clapham, Chocsolot? It's not very near me but it might be doable by tube (most of the branches of both chains aren't in places I can get to easily).

I've always been forgetful but at least I now have a good excuse! I have found this last week or so that my energy has finally come back and I am not feeling so blimmin exhausted the whole time. In fact I think I may even have more energy than pre-pregnancy, keep starting new projects like clearing out cupboards etc. must be the nesting instinct kicking in...