Oh funnily enough I was talking to someone in RL about dummies the other day.
I hated them when pregnant with DD but had to succumb when she was either on me or suking on my pinky all day long.
She is now 22 months and also only gets it in bed. That has been the case since about 9 months, I too removed it promptly throughout the day when I felt she just didn't need it because I was truly embarassed by it when we were out and about. I couldn't get over my own feelings on them as being a cop out, but also saw the sense in it being removable but a thumb cannot be.
She now calls them her 'ums' and has an 'um bag' that they live in which lives either in the bed or on the bedroom window ledge. So she knows when she gets up that that is where they go and that I do not want her to speak through it. She tries but I just tell her I cannot understand her with that thing in her mouth.
We have started to tell her that they are for babies and she is not a baby but a little girl so shouldn't have them anymore. She is good on the prompts, knows that she is a 'ickle girwl' and not a baby but still grins and says 'um?' before settling.
I was worrying that it was time for weaning, which I dread. I hate the idea of all that upset. But have now decided that I will leave it a bit. At least until after this one is born. I don't see that it makes sense to take her comfort away and then rock her world so.
I also think that she will prob choose to throw it once she realises that it is for baby and not her.
Tonight I told her I didn't want to see it in her mouth until after I had left the bedroom. So she duly waited.
Maybe that will instill embarassment issues, that may not be good......
I think she understands the concept but just isn't ready yet. Bit like the grolsh advert, 'Shtop! It'sh not rready yet.'