Due November 2008....Mmmmmmmmmmmm....minty Gaviscon, swallowed not stirred

[LackaDAISYcal]

Thanks to Pinkali for the title

ChocO - yeah I am well mixed up! My dad is English. My mum is ummmm...well her mum and dad are what's called Ceylon Burgers but she was born in Malaysia and brought up in UK from 11 yrs old and is more 'English' than my Dad! 'Burgers' are mixed dutch and sri lankan (used to be ceylon). I look a little mediterranean, possibly Greek, but generally people don't guess. My dh is pure sri lankan so it was a relief to get back to my 'roots' in some way. Our ds is sooooooo cute. I know I am biased, but everyone else says so and says he should model, but I just couldn't bear living in that world! (There are pics on my facebook).

I had a moses basket and lasted ds about 2.5 months. It was useful as I was travelling back and forth to parents a lot, also used to move it from room to room in the day, so didn't need baby monitor! Mostly he slept in with me anyway and in a full size cot when he would stay there. He went in his own room at 8 months. We may have done it earlier but it needed a drastic refurbishment, so had to wait till dh got round to it (and he didn't want ds out of our bed!!!). I would not bother with the weeny size of the Stokke cot and just buy a mattress/ sheets for the middle sized size, depends how much they are...I know it looks cute small, but you may never use it.

I see what you mean, we've got three floors, (not including the cellar!)and a crib or somesuch in your room as well as the cot in the nursery is very handy, but I didn't carry them around if they were asleep (unless in sling).
If the baby is asleep, I leave them where they are and use the monitor.

The main thing is to have somewhere to put them down on each floor, however you do it, as I say, we used the carrycot on the ground floor.

I kept both my babies in their crib in our room til they were about 7 months,then moved them to the cot in the nursery but yes I believe 6 monthhs is the recommended age, if that's practical with your living arrangements.

If you can only get the moses basket in your room, you may find you need the cot earlier,depending on the size of baby and/or rolling over, tht's why I was suggesting having the small cot in your room.

If your baby is anything like mine, they will be bfing more than sleeping, so making sure your own chair is comfy is possibly a mani priority1

Thanks for the feedback all, I think we might just wait till baby is born to decide if we need the Stokke mini cot matress and sheets or not.

I am feeling very pleased with myself for my latest eBay bargain. DH and I wanted the Horizons dresser and changer top for the nursery and the whole lot was £341 from Mamas and Papas website and I just bought it from eBay for £300!! Not a huge discount but my dad gave us £300 so it was actually free!

Merry glad you are as confusing as me! My dad's family is from Goa but he was actually born in Kenya and moved to the UK when he was 18. I think it took me till I was about 16 to get to grips with my heritage! I didn't even figure out till then that the funny language my grandparents were speaking was portuguese! Doh.

Merry you are undoubtedly biased but also right - your DS is gorgeous!!

hana why aren't you buying a pram?!?! Sorry if I have missed this conversation! I always wondered if there was anyone who didn't buy a pram.

Hana, what about a persons back? Would it not be advisable for someone who already suffers from back problems? I like the thought but looking at the toddler in one I think I would really suffer. I don't think i could cope without a pram.

You have been a chatty lot today, I'm just nipping on before I have to pick DS up from Nursery. My car has broken down and I'm really not impressed but it is still under warranty so it won't cost me a penny to get it fixed . The Stokke cot is lovely but we were lent one for DS so we don't really need anything. DH won't even let me get a proper pram (wouldn't fit through the door where we used to live)not even a cheap one off ebay. I have a pramette which I ove but DS was such a monster he was out of it at 3 months and I hated him being faced away from me.
Hope everyone has had a nice day and isn't too hot

Hana I also have the same question as Pinkali - wouldn't that be a lot of pressure on your back etc? I get quite bad back when I carry things so I don't think I could do that. I haven't heard of attachment parenting before but it sounds very interesting. Do you know anyone else who has / is doing it?

Hana (sorry for all the questions but I find this very interesting!) what about when you are just round the house - do you still carry baby about? And where does it sleep if it has a nap in the day? From the very quick reading I did it sounds like a big commitment on the part of the parents. Why did you decide to do it??

Again - sorry if its too many questions and feel free to tell me to buzz off but this is why I love this site, I've learnt so many new things I'd never even heard of before!

hana - not sure if you saw it, but there was a programme on recently about continium parenting vs GF (whisper!) vs a 70's version (can't remember her name, but she was in betweeen the 2)

I found the continuum concept very intersting but wondered how paractical it really is.......are you planning on following it rigidly?? What about the issues of the baby becoming too "attached" and dependant on the carrier??????

What payback are you meant to get back later - I can't remember what the pros and cons were, only that I had enormous awe at the parents who could parent in that way continuosly (oh what dreadful sp).

We are at opposite ends of the parenting spectrum, as I am all for routine and follow GF (do not do it rigidly eg babies in own room from start but adapt it to suit us eg breastfeeding the lazy way lying down!)

I'm a bit of a whatever suits kind ofperson, rather than following a particular 'concept' of parenting.

I use my wraparound sling a lot, but I also enjoy a bit of free time to myself whilst the baby is asleep in his/her own bed.

It's also a bit of a killer if you have a toddler around at the same time!

I think the programme you are refering to was called Brining up baby and compared parenting methods of the 1940's, 1950's(Dr Spock) and The continuum concept (1970's ish). With ds1 we pretty much followed our instincts and quickly fell into a routine anyway. With ds2, he was such a difficult baby (because he was poorly) that we kind of naturally fell into the continuum concept for the most part, in that he was almost always being carried by us and when he wasn't being carried, he was being breastfed. We have never co-slept though. I think each parent soon finds thier own rythm and really needs to follow thier own instincts as to how they want to parent, no way is right or wrong.

For this baby, I should imagine we will continue to use a mix of the continuum and Dr Spock methods, not that we had any idea this is what we were doing in the first place, lol! This baby will be slinged because with 2 other kids, I will need my hands free. This baby will be breastfeed because I know I can do it, enjoy that part of the mother/baby relationship and I am lazy and cheap! We will have baby in our room for at least 6 months, more like a year but won't co-sleep as we never have done and don't plan on starting now.

with dd3, i was a part-time AP-er. we used slings until she got too heavey, i insisted then on a rear facing buggy so could maintain eye contact and chat easily, i co-slept with her (dh was in hospital at the time), breastfed her till age 2, she is very secure, very vocal, and also very outspoken lol.

a few people laughed a bit, as seem a bit hippy-ish. do the whole cloth nappy thing as well.

Hana I wikipedia-ed co-sleeping and was freaked out by the bit where they said older babies can breastfeed without waking the mother up!!

yup choc they can.

I also watched the programme you are talking about, with my dd I just kind of went with the flow but had a lot of trouble with breastfeeding and with dd sleeping (or not as was the case) I eventually found that dd was so much happier and settled when I got her into a rountine, and even at 2 she loves a rountine and gets very upset if it is changed and is an excellent sleeper!!

Because of this I plan to get into a rountine much sooner this time round and am interested to see that dozy you roughly follow the GF methods, I have recently re-read her book and wondered which parts you follow and which just arent practical?

Hana I agree with you about the independence thing. Loads of people said to me that I would end up with clingy children with the way I parent but actually they are very confident and outgoing. When I do leave them they are not afraid at all. It could also be down to personality, of course! I do think children should be allowed to play without constant adult interaction, though, so I mix and match the way I spend time with them.

I have battled terrible self-esteem issues because of my upbringing, too. You may need to be preared for a few skeletons to come out of the closet when you become a mum yourself- they did for me-not because I behave like my parents- AT ALL- but because it has brought home to me how much of what was said to me was wrong, and quite cruel.

Anyhoo I think DS has chicken pox. I thought it was heat bumps but they are looking a bit chicken-poxy now. FUN FUN

Misdee I am going to use cloth nappies from the appropriately named "Hippy Happy Nappy Co"!!

MIsdee- I think you sound a bit like me. I do the sling and cloth nappy thing too!

I am really not sure how much of my children's personality is nature vs nurture. Ds1 was such an easy going, content baby that we didn't feel the need to constantly pick him up. He is the more needy of my 2 boys, he needs constant reassurance and is not very sure of himself. DS2, who without really thinking about it or knowing it, we AP him, constantly held or carried him, he was breastfed until he was 3 ect. He is incredibly independant and sure of himself, he oozes a confidence that I wished ds1 had even a fraction of. He is very loving and tactile ann is obviously reassured about his place in our lives. Like I said, how much of the way my boys are is how they would have been anyway, who knows. I do feel that they have been somewhat shaped by the different ways they were brought up, but can't really say for sure. All I know is that I want for this baby to be more like ds2 than ds1, so I will be going down the AP route again, just in case it really is to do with the way they are brought up.