Due Sept 08: The one where we pack our bags and write our birth plan.

[mamamufin]

I thought I would be brave

splishsplosh&mustsleep got mt iron tablets today...really hoping they don't make me feel sick!
can't wait to finish work!!

Morning all. Hope you had good weekends. Mine was interesting - did lots of sleeping which was nice. DS started his French lessons but the teacher was not good with such young children so we've decided to cancel them for now and wait until they're a little older.

On the downside - Dad got arrested again for being drunk and absuive and spent the night in the police station. I told him how worried I was about him and how I think he's got serious problem, but he refuses to accept it. Apparently he's given up beer but still drinks wine , which of course has a much higher alcohol content. Am close to just cutting him out of my life completely. I don't need this stress!

Also, DP went out of Friday night and was somehow robbed. We're not sure what happened but the silly thing got in a dodgy cab and, somehow, the driver managed to get hold of his card and PIN and withdraw £500 from his account on way home. It took him about 2 hours to do a 50m journey and he sent me two weird text messages on the way, so we're not sure if he just fell asleep or if he was slipped something as he had his cards the next morning. It's all very mysterious and worrying.

Anyway, had second NCT refresher yesterday. Was really useful, even though a lot of the stuff around childbirth I don't think I've been through it really so I feel like a total novice. Anyway, two good things we discussed yesterday which might help:

• Role of partner - for me this was key as I felt I'd be too busy, bewildered or in pain to be as assertive as might be required. I specifically briefed DP prior to birth that he was my voice, so if I said I wanted or needed something, his job was to get it for me. He was to make sure I/we understood anything that was happening and that my viewpoint had been properly considered. I have to say he did a great job despite the difficult circumstance.

• For those of you trying for a natural delivery one girl said that she never moved onto the next stage of pain relief until she made sure she'd been examined. At one point, in transition, she asked for an epidural, but made them, even though they were reluctant, examine her first. When they did she was already fully dilated and could start to push, so ended up using no pain relief at all.

Hope these help.

hopefully - I'm compensating for any fitness benefits by scoffing M&S chocolate cookies by the barrel!

And I feel similarly about being left to push when I'm ready - I think there are exceptional circumstances when you might need coaching, but generally following the woman's instincts and what her body is telling her to do is the best way. Having said that I had an epidural with dd1 and if someone hadn't told me when to push, she'd still be in there .

I think one thing I might want to be told is to slow down, as I've torn with both my first two, and would love to avoid that this time, as it really impacts your quality of life post birth. Both times round I couldn't walk more than 50-100 yards without having to sit down 10 days on from the birth. And even sitting was not exactly pleasurable!

pidge i tore with ds i remember it well
i didn;t have a prob with walking but sitting and weeing were hurrendous
with dd i didn;t tear and it was loads better after just a bit sore

pidge I read that as " couldn't walk for more than 50-100 yards without having to sit down for 10 days"!!! That would be bad!
Am also impressed with your cycling although I can totally understand the motivation if it's the quickest way to work. Think I ignored your comment the other day about running but yes it does seem like a lifetime ago that I last went for a run. I said the other day that I want to do the Fleet triathlon (only a small one) in May next year as I thought that would be a good time scale to aim for something.

Got my midwife appointment in a couple of hours to get my letter to allow me to fly tomorrow. Please keep all fingers crossed that I get it.

Fingers crossed for you debi! Am sure you'll get it.

If anyone wants to offer words of wisdom, have just posted a question in pregnancy topic, entitled 'deeply deeply embarrassed...'

Debi - gosh at the triathlon goal! My own post birth goal will be rather more limited - maybe a nice 5k somewhere!

Fingers crossed for the flight approval. Are you going somewhere exciting?

maybe it is a bit ambitious but it is only a little one.

flying to Aberdeen for my brother's wedding

there's a fighter jet doing loop the loop above my house!

Enjoy the wedding Deb!

Stupid question time for people: you know how they say 'listen to your body to know when to push' - is it actually obvious?

Because my body has a reputation for never telling me anything - never had a menstrual cycle, didn't know I was pregnant until nearly 4 months, etc. It would be perfectly in keeping for me to be one of those women who end up saying "I just went to the loo and then there was the baby" - but I think that might be too much to hope for...

sunshine your poor DP...doesn't sound he's had much luck lately. and if you think cutting your DF out of your life is the best thing for you and your family at this stage then you should do it. when I fell out with my dad I didn't speak to him much for about 2 years. time passed and we eventually learnt to get on with each other, both having moved on and forgiven/forgotten.

debi I'm aiming to start thinking about dieting/exercise in the new year. don't think I could manage a triathlon though. I'll be really pleased if I get to go out for a twice weekly run with baby at home.

very interesting to hear about cord cutting and placenta delivery. it would be nice if the placenta did just plop out afterwards!

We also had our second NCT class last night. Got to speak to a few other ladies, everyone is lovely! We practised different labour positions and what your partner can do to help. We also practised holding a baby (dolly) and different reasons they might cry. The most interesting thing about that was learning how to wind a baby on your lap.

Oh, and we definitely need to buy a baby thermometer and room thermometer! Any recommendations?

NC surprise baby on a toilet! that would be lucky (as in not having any pain, not dropping your first born down the loo).

Knowing my luck I'll feel EVERYTHING super sensitively. I suspected 11 days after ovulation that I was pregnant because I'd been woken up with terrible implantation cramps for three days running. I had cramp when I had implantation bleeding. I've had Braxton Hicks since about week 12, thought it was the baby moving till I read on here that when the womb goes hard and sort of rises up (when lying on your back) that's a BH. Now they're beginning to get a bit more serious...sometimes accompanied by nauseating cramps. I've felt the baby flutter since about week 16. Am a little concerned that I'm going to feel this labour start a LOT earlier than when proper labour begins.

Might mention the BH cramps thing to the midwife tomorrow. Mentioned it before but I thought it had gone away. Seems to have started up again.

starlight, if you email me at y f forster at gmail dot com, i will send it to you.

Thanks starlight that's really useful info. I'd pretty much decided to have a natural third stage, but was just curious about the 'injection' option, but from what you've said it's made me more sure that it's the natural one I want... That's if all goes to plan of course! I keep waking up 3-4 times a night at the moment, so obviously I've got lots on my mind!

My (very weak) braxton hicks stopped entirely at about 27 weeks and haven't been heard from since. How strange is that?

Am having the day from hell. For anyone who didn't notice my thread on the pregnancy board earlier, I had a ridiculous amount of discharge earlier today, and am now monitoring it wearing a pad (midwife is not terribly concerned and told me to wear a pad and see how it goes over the next couple of hours - I am preparing to rush myself over to St Thomas's at London Bridge if there is more). Added to which discharge stained my dress so entire office saw me rushing to toilets with massive damp patch. And now one of my colleagues is being really rude to me because I've given him loads of work to do (it's his job, by the way, I'm not being mean). I want to go and cry in the toilets!!!!

Wow these threads are filling up fast!!

Hello ladies, hope you are all well. Haven't been around for ages. My internet was very kindly turned off by BT for no reason and it took them 2weeks to rectify their mistake grrrrr

Also just had a weekend away. Only a cheap Pontins holiday but will be our last before this bubba is here. Was fun yet exhausting and I need a real holiday to recover! It didn't help that my neighbour rang me on Saturday night to tell me my cat had died Apparently she just died for no reason so am presuming it was old age. Puss Puss had just turned 13 so she was an old lady. Had her since she was 6wks so longer than dp or any of my kiddies! She was def one of the family so that kind of spoilt the weekend a bit

Still have a trillion things to do before bub is here. Time seems to be rapidly flying past me though. I am 28wks now so not too long to go.

I haven't had a chance to have a good read through so please don't think I'm being rude and ignoring anything important that may have happened. I've just grabbed half hour whilst the little monkey is asleep. I can't believe my dd is going to be 1 in 2wks This last year has gone so fast. She is also becoming an independant little lady put mildly lol! Not best timing in the world as I can barely keep up with her crawling around and into everything. Bending down is becoming an issue too. This baby is so low it hurts to bend to get anything.

Anyway I see you've all been discussing your birth plans. I don't think I'l even bother with one this time. Last time I did one that said I wanted a HB with no pain relief, minimal interference from MW's and I wanted to help "deliver" baby myself. Well careful what you ask for as that's exactly what we got. HB, 3hrs from very first twinge, MW's didn't make it and me and dp delivered dd with me in the bat

This time the MW has given me her own mobile number and I'll be ringing her not the hospital. I'll just be happy if she gets here in time

Well I have to be off again. Got to collect ds1 from school. Hopefully I'll be back to catch up later on. Oooh and we finally decided on a name, it's been bugging me for ages but when we were away we decided on Cameron James.

Byeeee for now, Gem xx

oh no hopefully, poor you. Go and have a good cry if it'll make you feel better. Some people are so horrible.
Hopefully the discharge isn't anything to worry about but we'll keep our fingers crossed for you.

Now have an upside down helicopter flying about over the house (the first time I saw a helicopter upside down I almost freaked). The Farnborough airshow practicing has obviously kicked off properly today. Glad we'll be away for a few days as 2 weeks of Euro fighters, helicopters, stealth bombers etc does get a bit tedious. Even the red arrows start to get boring after a week or so but at least they don't come out every day.

poor you hopefully typical for it to happen at work...hope it's all ok.

Hopefully tell colleague to p off. Some people are so insensitive.

BTW St Thomas's Maternity Unit is at Westminster Bridge not London Bridge so don't go to the wrong building.

Thanks for that Sunshine - if I decide to go there at the end of the day and ended up at the wrong hospital that would just about finish me off and they would have a mad sobbing pregnant lady in the waiting room!