Due June 08: S**t, it IS June, and I still haven't packed my hospital bag...

[LauraT]

well it will be June on Sunday anyway! thought I should go ahead and start this as there were several votes for this name...

Ooh, that was a big post. Sorry all!

Essie, I was sorely tempted to thump her - but then me and dh have been together for over 15 years so I'm kind of used to it by now. I had years of her going on about my weight (she used to bring me diet sheets and watch everything I ate and comment on it!), then lots of hassle over our wedding (I won't bore you with that saga - suffice it to say that she didn't speak to me for the six months in the run up to our big day!), and then it's been 5 years of listening to her insensitive claptrap over our infertility. DH doesn't have fertility problems, it's all down to me, and I was struggling enough to cope with the guilt and grief of depriving my wonderful dh of the child he so desperately wanted, without being reminded of my failings by his bloody mother.

Thank you for your kind words, btw, it has been a long road which is why I feel sad that I'm not enjoying being pg right now .

Your comment about LO just being this summer's project made me laugh - know what you mean about not actually appreciating that they're going to be yours forever!! Help!

All new, I too have a urine infection and the hospital has lost two sets of my results! Am getting prescription this afternoon anyway and doing a (hopefully) final round of tests. Grrrr.

Interesting re aircon and hot weather. Oour baby's room is usually about 21 degrees and I think we will get blinds to keep the room cool.

SIDS, in UK, two best ways of avoiding it are by not smoking and by laying the baby on its back in the feet to foot position

DQ - I have the same to do list as you this week, pack bags and birth plan, I'm another one who hasn't written down anything yet. Plus need to clean the house before wednesday. So far today have managed to do nothing much.

Amberc - Good luck with the sweep! I bet you will be glad of things getting moving after the SPD.

Fungle - Hello!

LauraT - enjoy your last day at work, it's a great feeling!

Pyjamarama - love the pictures, he is gorgeous!

Essie - would it be possible for your DH to change his holiday if nothing has happened?

I've told my mum that I don't want her to come and stay straight after the baby is born which she is fine with (she came to help when we moved house and was an absolute PITA), will visit but just for a few hours. However MIL has it in her head that we will need help when the baby gets here and I'm worried that if she finds out my mum hasn't come she will come over instead, again I'm happy about them visiting but not staying for days, will let DH sort it out I think.

Allnew - shocked about the man in the shop, you should have chucked the salad over him!

I woke up again at 3am and was wide awake, ended up going down and watching TV and doing a bit of knitting for a while in an attempt not to disturb DH. It worked and when I got back to bed I got to sleep. Plus managed to finish the blanket I've been knitting for months!

All new, I too have a urine infection and the hospital has lost two sets of my results! Am getting prescription this afternoon anyway and doing a (hopefully) final round of tests. Grrrr.

Interesting re aircon and hot weather. Oour baby's room is usually about 21 degrees and I think we will get blinds to keep the room cool.

SIDS, in UK, two best ways of avoiding it are by not smoking and by laying the baby on its back in the feet to foot position

All new, I too have a urine infection and the hospital has lost two sets of my results! Am getting prescription this afternoon anyway and doing a (hopefully) final round of tests. Grrrr.

Interesting re aircon and hot weather. Oour baby's room is usually about 21 degrees and I think we will get blinds to keep the room cool.

SIDS, in UK, two best ways of avoiding it are by not smoking and by laying the baby on its back in the feet to foot position

I hope you are all right about the body waiting till the time is right ... just had a call from our Plan A childcare person and she has done her back in lifting her own son, so baby has to hold off till she's better. Plan B person is away from Weds - Sun. Think I should ring Plan C person this afternoon and make sure she knows she may get called on after all! There is clearly some sort of curse attached to offering to help us out .... Trying hard not to worry about it and we do have lots of people around who have offered to help, but ds is only little (21 months now) so I really want it to be someone he knows and trusts.

spongebrain I think in some ways pregnancy after infertility is harder, because you feel like you 'should' be enjoying every minute, but it's still bloody hard work! I didn't have anything like your experience but had 2 yrs infertility and some treatment before ds, and found late pregnancy especially very difficult. Every twinge was compounded by a feeling that I shouldn't be struggling after trying for so long, but it doesn't make it any easier. Plus your emotional reserves have been put under so much strain for so many years already. Take care of yourself and post lots!

On grandparents / grandchildren: the first time I visited my mum with ds, we went to see her at work one day. She grabbed him as soon as we arrived, marched into the office and announced, 'This is my baby'. Er, no! Deep breaths, count to 10 ...

And the comment I hate the MOST is 'still here then?' - what are you supposed to say, no I'm actually a mirage??

Thanks Essie3 it always makes me feel better reading this thread & knowing I'm not the only one who's become some sort of emotional wreak. I ask the MW's how long the hormones / emotional feelings last for - and we've all got at least another 6 weeks of torment after our LO's are born! God help my poor DH!!!!

Re IL's mine are both retired & have a villa in Spain where they buggered off to about 3 weeks ago (knowing full well how much work was left to do on the house) and only now after me spelling it out to them the house isn't done & my DH practically shouting at them down the phone do they offer to come home & help. Just too little too late as far as I'm concerned. I've had my dad here for the past 3 - 4 weeks helping with the house (he is a painter & decorator) but he's not once moaned (even when I lost it with him last week) and he's upstairs now whistling away whilst tiling - actually scratch that I can hear him singing! My point it why is it that my parents can be as helpful as anything and the other set of parents are sunning themselves in Spain!! Oh families!!!

and thanks for posting the pics pyjama, he's gorgeous!! had a little weep when I saw them

Lorettah your Dad sounds like a star. My family is the other way round - the ILs are fab but mine are a complete PITA. You can't choose your family can you?

Re. bedrooms and hot weather - when I had my DD her bedroom in the old house was south facing and v. hot. This just so happened to be the summer of 2003 (the really hot one) and her room was consistently over 30 C. This time the only bedroom available to the babs is another south facing - just hoping for a cooler summer this time.

Essie - my DH hasn't actually booked time off but his clerks know that I'm having a baby any time now. So they have helpfully booked him in for a hearing in Plymouth (we live in Liverpool) and a 5-day trial . The Plymouth thing I've told him just isn't going to happen. The trial is local and is in the employment tribunal so I reckon the best place for a quiet word to say his wife's in labour and they need to adjourn! Otherwise he's going to be doing paperwork, at home if possible. Could your DH get himself set up to do paperwork from home and conferences on the telephone? Or does his practice involve him being in court all the time?

Lorettah - over the weekend I told DH that if he came near the delivery room I would call security . We've made up now!

Amber - I was induced last time at 38 weeks becuase of concerns of foetal abnormality and my consultant knew I just wasn't coping very well. So they can/do induce early for "emotional" reasons. But it was my 3rd child (and 4th delivery) so my body responded quickly to the prostin. I think it would be more traumatic with your first delivery. I can understand that you are worried about it though. I had a late m/c on the same day as a friend's DD was born and I find it very comforting that a lovely new life began on the day my child's life ended. And my grandmother died when my mother was expecting me, and I've always felt a strong connection with her (I'm named after her) and as though she's keeping an eye on me. Would it help you to approach it along those sort of lines? Sorry if I'm not helping...

Pyjamarama - v beautiful baby . v pleased for you!

systems, thank you for the comments - I think you're right. Apparently PND is more common amongst women who have experienced infertility too because they feel less able to express how hard they are finding it and feel they should put on a brave face for everyone cos otherwise people will think, "for god's sake, you've been moaning for years that you couldn't have a baby and now you're moaning you've got one" . Being aware of the risks means that I can hopefully ask for help if this does happen.

Anyway, looks like I'm not the only one with parent/in law problems. Can't believe your mum announcing your baby as hers! And as for decorating, lorettah, my FIL and MIL came to stay last week to help with the decorating - FIL was fab and did loads, MIL did nothing so I spent the whole day keeping her occupied and listening to her telling me what a fantastic mum she was!

Luckily my parents are fab!

Hey everyone!

Can't believe no one else has dropped over the weekend.... Mine has been spent in hospital again with raised BP.

Consultant was very peed off this morning as she felt I'd been admitted unecessarily and I had to agree. Anyway, baby ok, bobbing in and out of pelvis, bp ok, bloods ok, 24 hour urine ok, blah blah blah.... Due in 3 days so they attempted another sweep but although cx is soft its still at the back and closed for business....

So it looks like I'm going to go well over due

Can really sympathise with those mood swings ladies - I was crying into my NHS salad last night, then laughing like a hyena 5 minutes later!

emotionalwreck, sorry to hear you spent the weekend in hospital for no reason . Will they do any more invasive induction or are they going to let you go into labour naturally?

Can understand why you were crying into your NHS salad - hospital food always has that affect on me too!

Spongebrain - I think it's a lose/lose situation really. I got pregnant really easily, which surprised me. (First attempt was m/c, but shortly after managed it, fingers crossed!). But I've been very ill, had stress at work, and suffered from AND, and partly because I felt really guilty. m/c - guilty because I was so shocked at the speed of getting pregnant (therefore not thrilled just shocked and scared), and this time guilty because I managed it easily, so many of my friends can't manage it at all and I'm pregnant and hate it, and sort of wanted to hide it from all my friends who aren't conceiving because I didn't deserve it as much as them... I think whatever the situation, we find a stick to beat ourselves with! I don't think you should feel bad at all - but my viewpoint is that pregnancy is crap!

Mumsnet has helped me a lot - others are in the same boat, and I'm addicted to any thread on 'I hate pregnancy'! Also in-laws and families now...

I'm off to a garage now. Someone has stolen a VW trim off my car . (It didn't fall off - apart from anything else, bits don't just fall off VW's.) Perhaps there's a Beastie Boys reunion happening somewhere near me!

Rolf it's really nice for me to read what you say about feeling a connection with your grandmother. My dad died while I was expecting ds and he has his name for his middle name. I hope he will feel the same sort of connection when he's old enough to understand.

Lots of cross posting there!

Inlaws: my parents are fab, I should add. Mum and Dad came to London to decorate for us before Christmas (when I was really really sick and we couldn't afford a decorator). Inlaws thought it was hilarious - they thought my parents were really strange to do such a thing, and joked about it over dinner. Which says a lot about their attitude to mucking in... I was furious because my folks made such an effort, for no gain at all.

Rolf - and all others re: DH's leave - DH has booked a month off, starting on Monday, but has papers to do from home. There's some flexibility, but once he's turned down the work, he's turned it down.
He's turned down a hearing in London on the 11th, which may be wise, but he's hoping that he may be able to grab any nearby cases if any come up. But it's a bit up in the air really. (That's his work situation, and the baby situation!). Rolf knows where I'm coming from... Incidentally, he's considering a doorstep tenancy in Liverpool, depending on how things go for us. His clerks keep sending him to Carmarthen/Aberystwyth/Milford Haven etc - 'your wife is in Wales, isn't she?'. Yeah...a geography lesson wouldn't go amiss!

I've just set up my (very brief) profile with a piccie of me taken today. Bump looks as big as it feels.

I agree that pregnancy is crap. Some people are great at it and love it but for me it is very hard work. Was diagnosed with PND after birth of DD1, still taking medication now and they are keeping a very close eye on me this time.

Hope all of you suffering get through it OK and I know exactly how you feel.

spongebrain my cons won't induce with prostin because I've had 1 section already but she would be happy to break my waters if my bloomin cervix would open! In a nutshell if I don't open or go into spontaneous labour she'll book me for an elective section approx 10 days over due. Would really love a "normal delivery" but have resigned myself to the fact that it might not happen...

Anyway whilst in I met an amazing mum - on 5th preg and has MS and collapsed verterbral discs. She's been in hospital for the whole of her preg which she only discovered when she was 19 weeks - got pregnant with coil in place and during a scan for her back problem her pregnancy was discovered. She is in agony and has been weaned off her usual morphine in preparation for delivery. She's hoping to be induced on wed when she'll be 37 weeks. She is so much fun and manages to smile through everything. I know we're all at the point where we can't wait for the discomfort to be over, but some people just amaze you with their strength. MUM POWER!

Wow, that lady's story is amazing. I must stop wallowing in self pity.

Hey don't anybody start feeling guilty!

Pregnancy is still crap for most of us!

it's a shame it's not a shorter process really isn't it! still, we could be elephants... can't remember how long their gestational period is, but it's LONG!

at being in hospital from 19 weeks. I wont now moan about the satellite signal disappearing from my sky+ box. I will say it'd better come back soon.

Far too much chat over the last couple of hours to even start responding, although will say that I empathise with everyone who's parents/IL's cause anxiety/upset/stress. Although mine aren't too bad, they can all really stress me out when they put their minds to it.

Pyjamarama loving your LO's pics - how are you getting on generally?

Essie I had a week off with DH last week so we could spend some time together on our own and it was lovely. We had quite a few day trips etc and it was good to relax.

Since earlier post I have done a little housework. Next on my list is to create a list of everything I need for my changing bag.

Laura 2 and a half years? (Elephants, that is.)

I reckon 5-6 months would be a manageable pregnancy for me.

I read something interesting written by a midwife (the book is 'Call the Midwife'). She thought that maybe all human babies are premature, because life span and gestation length are normally linked - and human gestation is short for the lifespan. Also, human babies can't even get to the breast without help when they're born - most animals can feed, and most can walk too but human babies are totally helpless. Her theory was that because of intelligence and head size it's gone a bit wrong.

But I still wouldn't wish for another month, let alone year!

Essie, I would never want any of my friends who got pg easily (i.e. most of them!) to feel guilty - and would be mortified if they did.

The only time I wanted to hit them was when they would give me 'tips' as to how to conceive (you know the thing, just relax, plenty of sex (really? sh*t that's what I was doing wrong!), try not to think about it (!!), etc). None of the above helps when you have blocked tubes!!

Tbh, I've loved being pg, up until the last couple of weeks - am I on my own on this one?!!