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Original poster

Due May 05 part 4

276 replies

fisil · 17/01/2005 19:01

Here it is ... let me start:

Name: fisil
Due: 26th April officially, 3rd May unofficially
Children: ds (just turned 2)
About me: work full time (teacher, head of dept), live SW London with dp & ds
Anything else: think its a boy

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logic · 06/02/2005 10:20

ROFL Fisil! How's things?

SamCattie · 08/02/2005 08:33

Well I went to the doctors last night to see if I could get referred to the physio and perhpas have a back support as my back is really unbearable now. But I got told the waiting list for the physio was 9 months and I have to use plenty of pillows and cushions to support my back. Does anyone have any other ideas as I am really suffering here?

Original poster
fisil · 08/02/2005 09:24

OMG - 9 months! That would be funny if it wasn't so painful. I only get a painful back occassionally, and have found one of those things that you heat up in the microwave really good, relaxing in a warm bath and using a birthing ball. Also, since I've been signed off sick I've hardly felt my back at all, so they probably are right when they say to take it easy!

OP posts:
logic · 08/02/2005 10:01

SamCattie, 9 months is outrageous The only other thing that I find realy helps with the pain is the TENS machine. Ask your midwife if you can borrow one from the surgery or hospital. My back also really benefitted from McTimoney/massage but that was privately. My physio also insisted that I do pelvic floor exercises but I'm not sure that they made any difference. I am furious atm because I once again have a stinking, rotten cold and I've had to ask the in-laws to look after ds for a couple of days. I want to be healthy!!

Uwila · 08/02/2005 10:18

Sam,
Are you careful with your posture during the day. This may really obviousy to you (so apologies if I am insulting your intelligence) but I find that lower back (more like tail bone really) hurst if it has been strained forward, like if I lean towards my computer as I type on it. I have to make a real concious effort to sit back and keep my feet on the floor (legs NOT crossed). It helps a bit. I find it terribly annoying because I like to sit upright, sometimes leaning forward a bit with my legs crossed.

Agree that 9 months is a bit rediculous. Could they get you into physio somewhere else. I wonder if NHS direct could give you some other nearby places which might offer physio.

SamCattie · 08/02/2005 12:40

Well I asked about going private and the doctor said it would cost the earth! I have plenty of cushions to try and support my back during the day as I am still waiting for my chair to arrive at work. I have tried to improve my posture and sit up more but its just no good.

logic · 08/02/2005 13:00

Sam, I used to find that spending some time on my hands and knees helped. It seemed to take the weight off the back. Maybe leaning on a birthing ball would help too. I've noticed that a lot of places are selling "gym balls" now which seem to be the same thing. Or maybe you could buy a back support from somewhere. I will have a look.

logic · 08/02/2005 13:12

ok, I've found two links, the BUPA online shop which sells pain relief and posture stuff:

Bupa shop

and a physio supplies site which I've never used either so I don't know how good it is:

physio supplies shop

You should probably ask your midwife or GP what would be best but at least there may be some ideas here...?

SamCattie · 08/02/2005 13:50

thanks a lot logic for that, i will have a look later and let you know......

fashill · 08/02/2005 14:48

I had to buy a coccyx cushion for my back and got this from www.putnams.co.uk/ (hope that link works!)

I also bought a gym ball from Tesco as it was only £3.75 and find it does help.

vicstervic · 08/02/2005 18:45

Hi ladies. A quick question about changing mats/dressers. We've already bought a dresser that has drawers and a matching shelf to store all the changing bits and pieces, but the dresser just has a flat top - no sides. Will it be safe to use with just a foam mat on top, or do I need to think about buying a changing station as well? Other dressers I've seen have safety ledges, but surely it'll be OK until the baby can roll over???

Uwila · 08/02/2005 19:36

Vic, I'd be a bit worried that the mat could slide off the top of the dresser, taking the baby with it. I wonder if you can get a changing bit with sides that would fit on top of the dresser you already have. Or even one of those chaging tray things that fit on top of a cot?

logic · 08/02/2005 20:24

Hmm, our changing table/dresser had sides to contain the mat and babies are squirmy little things even when tiny. Once ds outgrew the table, we started changing him on the mat on a bed so no risk of falling off. As Uwila says, a temp solution would be better because you really don't want to buy a changing table as well. Takes up far too much room. Sorry, don't know what to suggest.

Original poster
fisil · 08/02/2005 20:56

We just bought an ordinary grown up chest of drawers and shoved an ordinary changing mat on top. Never thought it might fall off - and it never did! But you never ever move away from the very edge of a changing mat anyway, so I don't think you'd need to worry about it falling off (having bad mummy pangs now, but I really can't visualise how he'd have fallen off!)

OP posts:
Uwila · 08/02/2005 21:03

How about something like this

www.twoleftfeet.co.uk/acatalog/Two_Left_Feet_Wooden_Cot_Cotbed_Changer_884.html

Obviously, I don't know if it matches the rest of the room, but this idea wouldn't take up much space. The only thing is that I would think it would have to be removed from the cot by the time bub can stand up.

vicstervic · 08/02/2005 21:26

Thanks ladies. I kind of think it'll be OK when he's teeny tiny, as the dresser is quite big, and I think you can get changing mats with wedgey slopey sides. A cot-top changer may be an idea (can't get the two left feet site up and running right now but will try later) but then I'd have to turn away to get nappies, creams, etc. Hmmmm... maybe I'll just have to have a bad back when he's bigger, and change him on the floor! Also thinking about having a second changing kit downstairs for the daytime - we live in a townhouse and it's 2 floors up to the nursery!

Holly290505 · 09/02/2005 12:27

I have the answer! Velcro! A friend of mine had exactly the same problem and she stuck a strip of velcro tape round the edge of the changing table and the reverse side on the mat - hey presto! Doesn't sound terribly secure I know but it actually is very hard to budge once in place. It worked very well and she had a VERY wriggly 10lb ds and used the mat and table until he was out of nappies!

SamCattie · 10/02/2005 08:35

Sorry about changing the subject everyone. But I sat down last night, and I know it sounds silly but it actualy dawned on me that May isn't that far away. ALthough I am scared rigid about the birth (who isn't) I started reading up on how you have "accidents" while giving birth. I feel so mortified....I really don't want this happening to me. It probably sounds really silly. And the whole birth thing....what if the pain is so bad? You always have someone who tells you about a horror story they encountered while giving birth....Is it just me feeling scared about the whole thing????

logic · 10/02/2005 11:53

Hi Sam. You're right, May is creeping up fast isn't it? You'll always hear horror stories but I think they are fairly rare tbh! Making a birth plan is important even if you don't take it to the hospital (I didn't bother) because at least you'll know what sort of birth you want. It's important to know all the facts and options.

Ok, as for the actual birth: I felt that mine was one of the best experiences of my life. I know that I was lucky in that I had no problems but I look back at it with really good, positive feelings. I remember how hot and sunny it was that day, I remember playing a toast-based practical joke on dh mid contraction and I remember walking up and down the room for 7 hours straight. Yes the pain is awful but it's for a purpose. It's not broken bone sort of pain, it's presenting you with a baby and the feeling of seeing that tiny blue scrap in your arms is amazing - you soon forget the pain. You manage by taking one contraction at a time.

I presume you mean bowel accidents? If so, I will tell you what happened to me...

Poshpaws · 10/02/2005 12:32

Sam, try to not to worry about the bowel or bladder movements. You'll probably be too occupied to care. Some women don't have any. I had a cathether put in last time (had an epi) and NOTHING came out

Must admit I didn't worry too much about labour 1st time or this time, depsite the fact I am having a homebirth. KNOW it's gonna be bloody painful but as logic said, it's for a purpose. Also, I remember thinking 'one contraction nearer to having my baby'. That's how I got through it.

Original poster
fisil · 10/02/2005 13:11

Sam, I have to say that I was a little worried about the potential for "accidents" in the delivery room, but actually it was one of the funniest parts of the whole thing. I still had my pants on and they told us we'd start to push in half an hour. I told dp I couldn't even feel my bum and I think we were discussing the fact that obviously my pants would have to come off, and put my hand down there, and sitting in my pants was a huge poo - no idea how long it had been there, I had no idea! So I whispered about it to dp and he just laughed, and said let's just wait and see what they do. The midwife was discreteness itself when she discovered it, saying "do you mind if I just cut your pants off and through them away, I'm sure you won't want them again." Dp and I were pissing ourselves laughing. And he still uses it to make me laugh if I get melancholy about the birth.

After saying that, I am not at all worried about the actual birth. It is such a tiny part of all the other things that are getting me down. At least during the birth I'll be doing something - and getting it right! My only fears are firstly getting it wrong about the correct time to go to hospital (I don't want to be sent home again or have it in the car - somewhere inbetween, but how do you know!) and secondly of course about the baby being OK. But the actual birth - I found I was totally on auto-pilot before and although it bloody hurt, it wasn't (for me) a frightening or difficult experience.

On a different note, ds announced this morning that he does not want to wear nappies. He got all the way to nursery in pants without a puddle! Do you think this means I won't have two in nappies at once? Fingers (and legs) crossed!

OP posts:
SamCattie · 10/02/2005 13:54

Thanks everyone for your words of encouragement. It's made me feel a whole lot better than I did. Glad to hear not everyone has horror stories to tell

logic · 10/02/2005 14:06

lol fisil!
Ok I admit, I had an accident too during the pushing stage. The midwives were far more concerned about me being embarrassed and distressed about it than they were about the accident. Honestly, Sam, it doesn't matter. The midwives are used to it and don't mind. They just clean you up. It's not like you can do anything about it. The baby is going to push on your bowels to come out.

Fantastic news on the nappies, fisil. I tried potty training last Monday. I lasted until tea time then put a nappy back on him. He wins - for now. The accidents I don't mind, it's him laughing and running away with full pants that I couldn't cope with.

myermay · 10/02/2005 17:04

Message withdrawn

logic · 10/02/2005 17:20

Myermay, ds is 29 months and showing no interest in the potty or toilet whatsoever. I don't think that 26 months is too early, if he is interested in using the toilet, I would go for it. It's totally down to the individual child, I suspect. A HV told my friend recently that 80% of children are not potty trained at 2 and a half. I really wanted ds dry by May but it doesn't look like he will be. He has to be dry by September though to go to pre-school. Oddly enough, he is dry at night by choice.