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Connect with mums-to-be with similar due dates to share experiences and support.

Due Sept '08 - Counting Down Rather than Up Now!

984 replies

Sunshinemummy · 19/05/2008 13:19

Thought I'd do this and post my last comments:

Hi all. Glad to hear more good scan news!

We had MIL visit this weekend and she is such hard work. She literally never lifted a finger and kept going back to bed every couple of hours. I've asked DP not to let her come again for a while as it's hard work waiting on someone.

We also finally put DS in his 'big boy bed'. Went quite well - he went to bed no problems, but he woke up at 2am crying as he'd got stuck under the duvet. He was then awake for a couple of hours so I'm feeling shattered today. Anyone of you with older children got any tips?

Slinkie we'll be near each other for mat leave won't we? We can have some fun together I'm sure.

Meglet I'm the same as you with the whole bf thing. I hated it last time and was relieved when I gave up. I keep veering to and fro with regards to trying it for this baby. I had such a happy time last time round, really enjoyed the whole experience, and am worried that attempting to bf will make the whole thing fraught.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
imoscarsmum · 19/05/2008 16:38

And I've popped our scan pic at 20 weeks on my profile if anyone wants a look to compare to theirs () Hope that's not too presumptious....
Got a cardiac scan on Thursday at 22 weeks, so will put that one on there too!

imoscarsmum · 19/05/2008 16:40

Sorry for 3 posts but also meant to say: not even gonna try to use reusable nappies - it's disposable all the way for me. Sorry but flumpet will be in full-time childcare at 6 months, so it'll be a waste of money to buy reusables, as the nursery won't use them. Each to their own i say!

Sunshinemummy · 19/05/2008 16:43

Re. co-sleeping agree that it's not for us, DP and I love our bed and love spending time in it (and sadly we have a TV in our room). We have always though brought DS into our bed from 5am onwards (he used to be a very early waker) and it's now one of our favourite times of the day when DS wakes (usually bewteen 6:30-7:30 these days) and he comes in and snuggles up with us and we play bed games together before the rush of getting ready.

On making friends with mums, I found that everyone was in the same boat and, having children gives you an easy in conversation wise. I made friends at NCT, Mother and Baby sessions, Baby Yoga, Baby Massage and at the weighin clinic at the Health Visitors. Granted I haven't seen most of them since I went back to work, but it's great having people to spend your mat leave with.

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Sunshinemummy · 19/05/2008 16:44

imoscarsmum I think you'r profile might be private as I just tried to look and couldn't!

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StarlightMcKenzie · 19/05/2008 16:50

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StarlightMcKenzie · 19/05/2008 16:57

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slinkiemalinki · 19/05/2008 17:05

This is a good survery!
Pre-baby
Go into labour naturally. Gas and air. No stitches (obviously)
Breastfeed (3-4 months max)
Four-hourly feeding (don't laugh, my mum did it and I was a real fatster!)

Post-baby
Early waters breaking, two late trips to hospital for big leaks... eventually induced. Had to have some stitches inside as she had her hand by her face... ouch. Yes begged for epidural but by the time he arrived I was fully dilated and told him to go home again! Gas and air made me feel drunk as a skunk.
I did breastfeed but had to struggle a bit as baby developed aversion to right nipple! Got minor mastitis but managed to massage it away thankfully. Gave up at 9 months.
I learned pretty quickly that four-hourly feeding doesn't work and was all over shop trying BW until she settled into natural rhythm about 2-3 months (luckily only ever woke once at night though!).

imoscarsmum · 19/05/2008 17:27

Thanks for the post sunshine. I've updated and it now should be OK if you click on my name - let me know if I've f*ed it up again!

Pidge · 19/05/2008 17:44

surely - thanks so much for that pep talk - I've had eczema all my life, and it has improved since my childhood and is generally pretty well under control. But I really let it get me down today - I finally feel it's got so bad it's stopping me doing the things I love - like I haven't been able to swim with dp and the kids for months, which used to be a really lovely weekly family outing. Plus it's interrupting my sleep etc cos I'm scratching in the night and waking myself (and dp) up. Anyway, am all creamed up now and feeling a bit chirpier. And in the great scheme of things it could be a lot worse, it's just darned uncomfortable at the moment. Fingers crossed for the dermatologist.

eandz - the babies belonged to two other mums I know from my oldest dd's school. Gosh they were cute babies. Though I must say before I had my first, babies left me pretty cold. I had no practice before having dd1, and to be honest you just get on with it. I do remember holding a friend's baby when I was 6 months pregnant and being completely indifferent to it ... in fact I thought it was rather revolting! But of course once my own was born I was besotted and thought it was the cutest thing in the world.

StarlightMcKenzie · 19/05/2008 17:50

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digitalgirl · 19/05/2008 18:03

there you all are!
just spent the last two hours catching up on the weekend goss. I'd gone away for a friend's birthday and had a really fun time singing karaoke, despite being completely tee-total.
absolutely knackered though. glad I got to go home early today to continue working from home.

really interesting to hear the pre-birth plans, post-birth reality.

my pre-birth plan is:
waterbirth with G&A, no epidural or pethidine
home after 6 hours
sleep in cot in our room for 6 months, then move cot to their own room
BF till 6 months
disposable nappies for first two weeks, then re-usable
no 'routine' for the first month...then perhaps see how DH and I feel, although haven't read any books so might have to make up my own routine

I'll dig this out next year on the postnatal thread and see how much of it I've stuck to.

meglet · 19/05/2008 18:41

imoscarsmum no idea on your pushchair dilemma but think you are very brave going to a baby show. I think I'd spend all my ££££££££ and end up bankrupt if I went to one! And am very of your sunny holiday coming up! Have a wonderful time!

imoscarsmum · 19/05/2008 18:50

Thanks meglet - last chance to holiday without a LO!
And baby show was easy - we just went determined just to get info and not spend any significant £££. DP & I are a bit boring like that (I'm an accountant anyway), so all we bought was a Tommy Tippee bottle warmer for £14.99 (Mothercare = £19.99) and a cute playnest for £32. Then we just used it to get all our freebies and did loadsa research.

2 best bits: 1) getting my bounty mother to be pack (sad I know) as my hospital did not provide it and 2) seeing waterbabies stand(www.waterbabies.co.uk) - they do classes for newborns from birth (their youngest baby was 2 days old). Basically get em in the water very soon after birth and they remember the womb and swim naturally. I'm very interested!

splishsplosh · 19/05/2008 20:28

Imoscarsmum - still can't see your page / pics

Pidge - my eczema used to be worse when I was young, but flares up every now and again, just really bad this time all up the insides of my arms from wrist to armpit, and a few other bits..soooo itchy and red and nasty looking. The hydrocortisone seems to have calmed it a bit, so it's not so inflamed, but still horrible. I've gone and bought lots of Body Shop body butters as I find them really good for moisturising and improving things. You sound like you're suffering even more, really empathise

Glad to hear all good news from scans. Mine's tomorrow, sometimes I can't help worrying all the good luck's been used up, and I'll be the one wth something wrong... or does that sound totally loopy???

carrieon · 19/05/2008 20:38

BIG baby swimming fan here, its the highlight of our week, dd loves it and is really starting to swim now. I've already signed dd up for saturday morning classes with her daddy so that she keeps it up after baby is born, and I'm going to try and pursuade someone to have dd one afternoon a week so I can take the baby swimming coz we've enjoyed it sooo much that I want him/her to have the experience too.

I realised that the pre-birth plan I had went to pot in terms of the actual birth and bf, but we've stuck to routine and re-usable nappies. Funny how the bits where our body takes over end up out of our own control!

On the washable nappies topic, I can get a bit passionate like some of the breastfeeding advocates iykwim...so feel free not to read on! But hopefully you'll be persuaded by my arguments like I've been with bf-ing!

I've only heard bad things from 'people in the know' about the so-called environmentally friendly disposables. While its true that the manufacture is better for the environment, you still have the issues of packaging, carbon footprint as they're transported to the shops etc, and unless you compost them, there's really no use in using them. If they go in a nappy sack/black bin bag and into regular landfill then they won't biodegrade as there's insufficient oxygen for aerobic respiration of the bacteria that break them down. [geek emoticon]. My concern is that people think they're saving the planet when in actual fact they're just spending more, on a less absorbant nappy (we found the nature baby ones leaked terribly and smelled really bad).

I've found washable nappies easier than I ever thought - you sling them in a bucket which is lined with a mesh, and when its full, lift out the mesh and bung it in the machine on a 60o wash, then hang them out to dry. I think I've said before that I love the bumgenius best of all. Also love totsbots bamboozles, although you have to buy two sizes of those, plus wraps and fleece liners, whereas the bumgenius are birth to potty, and the waterproof wrap is integral. But, they're manmade microfibre rather than organic bamboo. We use bumgenius by day and bamboo by night. So your shopping list is:

20ish nappies
1 x bucket
2 x bucket mesh
flushable liners for solids (newborn poos can go in the washing machine)

You can't get washables on ebay any more, but you can get second hand ones at the nappy exchange and a quick google search will bring up a host of sites selling washables. My local lollipop rep is a legend too.

Right, off to help dh write a risk assessment for his football team, the fun never ends!

carrieon · 19/05/2008 20:42

eandz while practicing on other people's children is a great idea, what I'd recommend is spending time with them, with their children, to see how they interact. I spent a lot of time with my best friend and her son, and when he was 6 months old I looked after him on my own for the afternoon while they went to a funeral. It was a disaster, he screamed and screamed, and when my friend came back the baby and I were both in tears. I was pg at the time and thinking what a horrendous mistake I'd made, but of course as soon as baby was with his mummy, he was absolutely fine. Children are different with their own parents. I've held a lot of babies, but it still surprises me that I 'know' how to hold my own so much more comfortably, its just more natural. So I guess I'm saying yes get practice, but it really won't be the same as having your own, and I think learning from how mothers interact with their own children is so valuable. Hope that helps. Feel free to disagree as always!

lollipopmother · 19/05/2008 20:57

Carrieon - I am thinking of trying the birth to potty ones called Bumble I think, and I'll also try some Motherease ones to see which I think is best. I simply love the Eco-wraps, they are just adorable so any nappy I choose will have to be able to have one of those over the top! I still don't really understand about the nappies but I think I have to actually see one before it'll click, like the Bumble has a fleece liner, so that means I just scrape the poo off instead of there being a flushable pad? We are in a very hard water area so I like the idea of the fleece.

Today I bought my mattress, after three days of deliberating I bought the £79.99 one from Mothercare, only to cancel the order 2 hours later and get one of the Mamas & Papas ones. I always think: If the item you're getting is more expensive than the stuff in Mamas & Papas you're really being conned! So anyway, I found nearly the same thing in M&P for £60, then found it at £44.99 from another stockist so went with the cheapest one. I feel a bit better at not having spent quite so much but still getting a good mattress, I was feeling a little uneasy about the money.

Imoscarsmum - Apple, Cherry and Candy, are these names of products, or names you're thinking of calling your baby?

lollipopmother · 19/05/2008 21:05

Oh, and my 'birth plan', I'm not actually the sort of person to make a real plan to take with me, but here goes:

  1. Vaginal birth with TENS, and G&A if it doesn't make me ill.
  2. DON'T be upset if it doesn't go to plan.
  3. Out of hospital the same day I went in!
  4. BF for as long as I can handle.
  5. DON'T feel like failure if I can't do it.
  6. No steralising, dishwasher only.
  7. Moses basket in our bedroom for first 3 months, possibly 6 months.
  8. Disposable nappies for 2 weeks then washables.
StarlightMcKenzie · 19/05/2008 21:08

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carrieon · 19/05/2008 21:22

A brilliant plan and very similar to my own...in fact I might just copy yours since I haven't written my own yet...

eandz · 19/05/2008 21:23

my pre baby plan of hope:

Birth: as many epidurals as possible, that weird tablet inserted so my hoo-hoo wont tear

Breast feed till my blubber is no longer present (maybe till he's 2)

I want to establish a routine, but nothing too harsh

i would like to use reusable nappies...

i will have a cleaner that will come 3 times a week and hire someone to cook 1 weeks worth of nutritional meals for me.

while i breastfeed i will not snack on biscuits, but on carrots...and thats if i've stayed within my daily calorie limits.

once i've healed, me and the infant will get used to my daily workouts where he will sleep without interruption till after i am done.

....i have a feeling that none of these things will really happen...but these are the things i hope for.

StarlightMcKenzie · 19/05/2008 21:26

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jearund · 19/05/2008 21:28

Kirstygem - last pg I went on materntity leave at 26 weeks (the first 3 weeks were unpaid) as I was working shifts and just found it too exhausting. This time I'm planning to start 1 September (due 22nd) but probably take annual leave for a couple of weeks before. Now I have DD to look after ML won't be the chance to relax that it was before so I figure I might be less tired sitting at a desk!

Meglet - my birth plan last time:

  1. Water birth with G&A, definitely no pethidine or epidural.
  2. Breastfeed for hopefully 6 months but start off aiming for 2 weeks and then keep increasing it!
  3. Disposable nappies all the way!
  4. Not worry too much about a routine.
  5. All home-made food.
  6. No dummies.

What actually happened:

  1. Waters broke 12 hours before labour started, got infected, emergency c-section.
  2. First 2 days were hell, really tempted to stop but reminded myself it was best for DD and pushed through. Stopped when she got to 1 (by which time I was already pregnant again!)
  3. Disposable nappies all the way!
  4. We do have a routine, which changes according to her stages, but she sets the routine (eg nap times) and we just go along with it until she changes it again!
  5. Bought a mini food processor and it was all home made purees until she was 7 months old and we went on holiday. Then we used jars for the week......and never went back to home cooking!
  6. Tried a dummy when she was too young to suck her fingers and kept crying, but she kept spitting it out. So still no dummy!

And this time round? Well we're pretty happy with how it went last time....so we'll probably try to do exactly the same again!

Sassafrass · 19/05/2008 21:30

Hi everyone,

Big bed transition is quite exciting. Our main problem was Becky getting out of bed and out of her room a lot. We solved that by having dh put her straight back in over and over. Finally she got tired of it and after seeing him come towards her ran in to her room and shut the door =) She fell out of the bed a couple of times so we had a matress next to the bed and she'd fall asleep in the strangest places in her room. Including riding her rocking horse. I think being consistent and trying to not make it into a big deal is the main thing. If you act as if it's all good and natural then your child will pick up on it.

My headaches have come back with a vengeance and the co-codamol is doing bog all so I'll have to go back to my gp soon. Tomorrow is big trip to the space centre though so I'll try to hold on until wednesday. Work is really accomodating so I don't want to let them down. I've been assigned an extra adult to be with my group of children so that I can have a rest whenever I need one. I feel a bit worried though as the baby has calmed down a bit as well. She still kicks a fair bit just seems more sedate. Then again, there's bound to be less and less room in there.

jearund · 19/05/2008 21:35

imoscarsmum we still do Waterbabies with DD. She started at 3 months (which was the earliest they would take them in our area). I don't know if there's any point much before then as they can't really move! You should start before 6 months as before that age they won't drown when they go under (there is a medical reason which I've forgotten). She loves it and is now coming to the end of Advanced (there is Beginners, Intermediate 1 and 2 and Advanced) and next term she starts toddler classes. We intend to take DS when he is 3 months too. DD has no fear of jumping in (she loves it) or going under and it's also great excercise for them. It's not cheap though - it's the only one of the many baby classes we do as we decided this was the one she'd get most long-term benefit from.