Due Sept '08: We're halfway there part 2....

[LittleConnie]

Come on over!

i do very much like sparkly things. i do wear tacky jewelry on a daily basis. butler and wilson tacky ... i'll even put it on if i'm going to tesco... but thats as girly as i get.

I'm not that girly either, though I like sparkly flipflops. Dd loves pink. She has ambitions to live in a pink castle one day when she is older.
Today when I put her for her nap, she told me she didn't want to go in her cot, but wanted to sleep with me. When I asked her why, she said "because I love you very very much and I want to cuddle you". Almost brought a tear to my eye, and made up for the weeing over the floor later on

I started off with dd in a moses basket, but a few months down the line she started waking up more again, and I found it so hard getting out of bed to fetch her to feed her, that I used to keep her in bed after the first time she woke, then eventually fully co slept til she was 1. I've always slept really heavily, but you do tune in to them amazingly. Often now I find I wake a few minutes before she stirs. V weird.

Re scans - I have mine next week, think Womb too, and someone else has to wait til June!

Its taken me all evening to catch up on threads, but mostly coz i've been following the video and bf links - a big thank you to whoever put up the Dr Jack Newman site. Dd never latched on like that... BUT I was a whizz at expressing and was able to give her breastmilk for the first 8 weeks of her life, and for us it was a much more peaceful, gaze-into-the-eyes experience when she took it from a bottle. If I was out in public though I'd say things like 'time for your breastmilk!' to dd, and loudly talk about how I was giving her breastmilk, just in case I thought someone was judging me for giving formula, which made me realise how (very wrongly) judgemental I've been of other women in the past when they've chosen to bottle feed. It was a big ol' journey of self-discovery my bf career last time!

The girls thing is so interesting, if we'd found out we were having a girl last time I would have been genuinely disappointed - but of course the second she was born we fell instantly in love and she's so brilliant that I'll now be disappointed if we have a boy! (not really, same thing would happen again in reverse I'm sure) I discovered a new love for pink, and always dress her in pink combats or dungarees and equally tom-boyish but blatantly girly outfits. We're now teaching her to say 'dude', she's so cool!

I also couldn't imagine co-sleeping, but I think its one of those very personal things, coz the idea either appeals or it doesn't. Dd was in a bassinet by our bed but was put in her own room at 3 days old coz she was such a noisy sleeper! For us, the marriage relationship is the most important one in the home, and the foundation of the family, and one representation of that is that its our bed, for our sleeping, our romance, our having a natter at the end of the day, whatever! Dh and I love the bit of the day where we go to bed and have a catch up and snuggle up together, the only time we've ever been in separate beds under the same roof was the first night home with dd, when he sat up with her on the sofa all night, letting me get desperately needed sleep. After that we discovered the joy of swaddling to soothe her. I'm sure other people will say that co-sleeping enhanced their marriage, and that's brilliant, but we just know its not for us. Also, the worry that I could roll over onto her would stop me truly relaxing. (long answer to a short question!). This isn't meant to sound preachy so big apology if it does, I'm just saying how things are for us and I'm quite sure others will share an equally passionate but totally opposite viewpoint to share!

Really ought to get on with useful things, but maybe I'll just watch one more breastfeeding video...

ok so 3 bf videos later...I'm feeling empowered!

littleconnie forgot to say I'm glad we're still due-date buddies too!! We'll be hanging on there at the end when others will have month-old babies, but we'll get there!

I am with you sunshinemummy on the 4x4. I used to be anti myself until I realised (i) how much crap you need to lug round with kids and (ii) how genuinely appalling many London roads are. I only have a Focus at the moment but the other day we went down the most enormous hole in the road right next to the Dorchester. Victoria Street is also shocking. Westminster really needs to do something about the state of the roads. My husband is on his 3rd set of back tyres in 3 years as every time he has a service they have nails in them! However I am not sure I could manage such a big drive myself; we are thinking about an Audi estate.

Car seats - am expert here! The Cabriofix is the best Group 0+ car seat (according to Which) when used with Isofix. Not sure without. We have just switched from Tobi (which is a fab fab seat) to Priorifix as Which reevaluated seats and gave it much higher rating. Generally the maxi-cosi seats are great.

In defence of NCT I met a lovely crowd in particular one person who I am sure will be a close friend for life. Most of the group even socialise with husbands too but mine is too antisocial to make "dad" friends and finds excuses!!
I didnt really click with my antenatal girls but met a nice crowd through postnatal. Naturally, a lot of the chat is about children (especially early on) but it does become a huge part of your life and actually it's nice to have someone you can witter openly about baby stuff with who won't think you are incredibly dull in the early months when you sleep, eat and talk baby. I still see all my previous friends - but now I have mum friends too. personally I didn't think the early weeks were the time to be discriminating about who I hung about with - I went to groups, accepted invitations and it was that way that I met like-minded people. Equally there were others who split off into other groups because they met other like-minded people. It's a bit like starting university really... that's what I found anyway!
And now I am moving away but hoping the same approach will help me meet some new and nice mums in my hew neighbourhood. Otherwise it will be a lonely maternity leave! I know I am going to be dropping my daughter at nursery when she starts in Sept and see all the mums who already know each other, and feel a bit mateless and lonely again, but it always takes time to settle into a new area or a big change and having a baby is no different.
Failing that you may be extremely lucky and have a crowd of your existing mates having babies at the same time as you, but I did not have that luxury. Most of them are starting now I am on #2!

Me again, will shut the computer down soon, I promise...
I took a friend's child to toddlers today with dd, so got to use the phil&teds in all its glory, (and unfortunately needed the rain cover too). It is simply the most ingenious buggy, I cannot fault it (except for not being able to hang my v.large change bag over the handles without bopping bottom child on the head). Despite being pg and large, I easily pushed 2 toddlers to town and back, which is over an hour's walking, and nipped in and out of shops with the ease of pushing a single buggy. Hilariously loads of people commented on it - I thought they were really common now, but there were women saying to their husbands 'did you see the two children in that? oooh how clever' etc etc. And other p&t mums smile as you pass each other in the street, its kinda cool!

PS I am a member of which? online and happy to give tips to people if they have questions about carseat safety ratings for seats they are considering

CARRIEON - You and your dh sound exactly like my partner and I, we always spend at least 45mins every evening chatting in bed, we never go straight to sleep even if we are totally knackered. We always spend time talking even though we actually spend 2 hours getting home from work each evening and talk alot then too. I would hate to miss out on having this time, it's probably the most distinguishing feature of our relationship and I think it shapes our relationship into what (if I do say so myself!!) is a damn good one (God that sounds corny!).

Carrieon, that was me with the Dr Newman videos. His website is currently under reconstruction but you can find all his videos and handouts on this site. It is worth bookmarking his site as it is a first call for any mum who is wondering whether or not 'this' is a problem. Of course, there is also MN.

Morning all
Its a rainy one here in North Yorks. No plans as yet. I am letting dh sleep in after the awful week.
I had to chip in with the co-sleeping topic. I am an accidental co-sleeper. I had absolutely no intention of ever doing it and could not imagine for one second ever doing it. However, ds came along. He just Loved being close and was so content next to us. He could not bear to be put in a cot. I am really bad without sleep and dh works really hard so needs his sleep. I found I had this natural sense to protect him in bed and it would just not be possible for me to roll on him. It also meant that he had milk on tap and once he got to 6 months he could easily attach himself for a feed without me even waking up.Honestly. when he got a bit bigger, We used the cables (from the wheel ties on cars )to attatch the cot to our bed. we just removed one of the sides. When we moved house we brought a superking bed to fit us in. Dh and I still spend time together chatting and have never found it a problem. In fact we find it lovely, but I know its a very personal choice. As ds grew up he self weaned of the breast with no influence from me it was just so natural, he is also very content to go in his own room now but still loves the odd night in with us. Its just so magical I had to share it with you guys. In fact I intend to do the same all over again xx

good morning everyone!

I am feeling better than I did on thursday, I e-mailed the union rep asking her to speak to my boss to see if I can have a lunch break. I was ravenous when I got home yesterday after just having sandwiches at my desk, I'm used to a proper hot meal -pregnant or not!

I can hear DS stirring, I think he's singing twinkle twinkle little star . I should have enough time to scoff my croissant before he wakes up properly and starts hurling his toys out his cot!

I have arranged a new pre-natal gym programme in a couple of weeks, my old one is getting a bit boring and I need some new exercises to keep me going until baby arrives.

poxtola I find my RL mummy friends are hard to talk to as well. We met in our NCT class but hardly none of us ever really chat about important stuff. I can talk to the girls I work with in the shop and the blokes in my office more than I can talk to them.

I am having a major pre bf crisis, I was adamant i would do it and love it last time, but it went so wrong I hated it. I am going to try this time but am terrified . Am also scared about not getting a private room post cs, the treatment on the wards was horrible and this time I would rather be coocooned away from all the noise and have my own space, I hope there is one available when I am booked in.

Must go, I think I heard the first toy being dropped out the cot. Sorry for the boring post

aww, meglet, come stay at mine. our hospital has all private rooms (though I am still hoping for a home birth) and I can be your bfing buddy later on.

kiskeedees i'm on my way over . I was told by 2 midwifes that they thought it was wrong for cs mums to have to share on the ward and that they wished they could all have private rooms so they could recover in peace. TBH it would be nice to not have to walk so far to the loo. Let alone being woken by other babies. I am sure my hospital (north hampshire) has 3 private rooms, all with toilets and 2 with showers. Maybe I will have to bribe someone .

Meglet I'm so jealous that your ds sleeps til after 9am, how do you manage that

Still no bump to speak of, and baby isn't as active as some of yours, so hope all is ok - only 3.5 days to wait til scan

Kisk What hosp are you going too? I would love to know it sounds great.
Dont worry spilishy I have no bump either, but defo look like ive ate all the pies!

splish i'm not entirely sure why he's such a good sleeper. We have always use gro-bags and he has a black out blind and black out curtain in his room so I guess that helps. Although his dad would sleep through a nuclear war so it may be a genetic thing.

Hope your scan is ok next week. the placenta could well be at the front muffling the baby's movements, mine is at the front so I only feel it when I am really calm and still in bed.

I think private rooms should be the deal for everyone. The ones here I think all have shared bathrooms, one between 2 rooms. But i never found myself waiting to get in. That suits me fine.

Mamamuffin, I also started off not cosleeping, though i come from a cosleeping culture. Dh was paranoid about squashing dd but my exhaustion sealed the deal and I did what turned out to give everyone the most most sleep. We coslept full time till she left our room at just before she turned 3. Dh turned out to love it and we will do the same with no 2.

We also ended up buying a bigger bed. The other morning she woke up and came calling at our door. I said, come to bed with mummy. She said, 'No, I don't want to go to your bed anymore.'

If anyone is wondering about cosleeping and would like to know more, you can buy the book Three in a Bed by Deborah Jackson. I also like [[http://www.betterforbabies.com/co-sleeping_faq.html this link]. The additional links at the bottom are very informative about infant sleep.

this link i mean.

i will be at the Sunderland Royal Hospital. They had a new maternity wing completed in 2007 and it was built with all private rooms. I am only going out of there by circumstance instead of design, tbh. I am about equidistant from 3 if i went by mileage from home.

It is also raining here in Co. Durham. Are you in northern North Yorks? If so maybe we can have a meetup with some folks, other mners mostly, sometime in the future.

lollipop we sound just the same!

meglet I'm sure I've said this before but I know just how you feel. It never occured to me last time that I wouldn't bf (see post above about shocking judgemental attitudes I held to ff mums until I became one !). The hardest thing for me to come to terms with was that I absolutely hated it!! But I'm enjoying the research this time, to try and get to the bottom of why I hated it, so that we stand a much better chance of succeeding this time. That said, if I hate it and it goes wrong, I'll be much quicker to give up this time rather than torture myself.

dd gave us a lie-in this morning...til 6:10am, WOO HOO! sigh...

Lunch time

Sassafrass So glad it was nothing.At least they are aware of the danger at your school and they are doing something about it. Everytime I play on the floor with my ds I can't relax like I used to, I always follow the movements of his legs and arms just in case. STILL, NO LONG TO GO NOW

Hi all - I'm a partial co-sleeper I guess! Couldn't do it all night, as I found I just didn't sleep for fear of rolling over on baby - which I know is ridiculous, but it did stop me sleeping, which in the end decided it - both babies ended up in the cot next to the bed. But I did used to night-feed lying down, and especially with dd2 who was a terrible sleeper, I used to often fall asleep and wake up 2-3 hours later with her next to me, particularly at the 4-5am feed. And that worked brilliantly, she would come into bed with us for a 5.30am feed (ouch) until she was at least 18 months old. And at least lying down I got a bit more snooze.

On the breastfeeding front - the most important thing is to keep asking for help and don't feel bad if you find it a struggle. I fed my first dd for 2 years, so you might think that feeding dd2 was going to be a doddle - but oh no, I still had to endure 3 weeks of cracked bleeding nipples before I got the hang of it again and ended up feeding her for over 2.5 years. So each baby is different and you do need to give you and the baby lots of time and patience to build that relationship and get the thing right.

Who was it who was asking the other day if anyone else felt permanently tired? I find I have days when I'm fine but others (like today) where I am exhausted and it's not for lack of sleep (I was asleep at 10:15 last night and didn't wake up until DD woke at 7). Yet I've really struggled all morning and DH was at work from 7am (he works shifts). DD has recently dropped her mid-morning nap and goes after lunch instead so I had to struggle through. It must be the pregnancy as there's no other reason why I'd be this tired. At least DH is home now (and is giving her a shoulder ride outside!) but tomorrow he has a split shift which means I have her all day as he works from 7am-2pm, comes home and sleeps in the afternoon and then works the night shift from 10pm-7am! Then I have work on Monday. So much for weekends being the chance to rest! I don't know how single mothers do it!
Meanwhile I've piled on 4 and a half pounds this week! I'd only put on about that much in total during the pregnancy up until this week so am a bit shocked. If this carries on I'll be the size of an elephant by the time I give birth! I have noticed the bump has grown noticeably this week too but surely he can't have put on 4 and a half pounds! Does anyone know if they happen to have a growth spurt at this point (21 weeks)? We have had a few rather nice meals this week as FIL was down......
I feel a bit better for that moan! Life's good really, it's just everything always seems worse when you are tired!

Ooh, I've got a question someone on here is bound to be able to answer. My mum and I were discussing boys' nappies and she told me "don't forget to pull the foreskin back and clean under it otherwise it can get infected". Now she used to be a midwife and later a health visitor (albeit in the 1950s) and this was definitely the advice they gave out in those days. Meanwhile I have vague memories of reading somewhere that with little boys you MUSTN'T pull back the foreskin to clean them (but I didn't take much notice as I was having a girl then). Does anyone know what the correct advice is and why? And if you can't pull it back, is that just for the first few weeks or ever?

BTW EandZ thanks for your input on how to spell our son's name. "Dougie" is how DH spells it too and I guess is the Scottish version. I'm sure I've seen "Duggie" - maybe that's more English? But if you as an American also think "Dougie" looks right then that has swung me towards going with DH. So "Dougie" he will be! ("Wee Dougie" no doubt at first!!!)