Due June - 'I can't remember my own name, let alone where I put the creme eggs...'

[PregnantPenguin]

For those of us with 3 months to go or less....

Aaarg. Rant coming.

Have just had a message from our department head saying that as a reward for all our work on two major projects this year we're being taken.... paintballing.

The fact that I was given sole charge of one of these two projects for TWO MONTHS and basically planned the whole thing out myself seems to have escaped his memory.

Best of all, the great fun paintballing day that everyone will want to go on is on... my effing last day at work!

So now I get to spend the day in the office ON MY BLOODY OWN. Nice.

In his defence, I'm sure he doesn't know I've moved my leaving date forward and the actual date is just a coincidence.

But considering the amount of overtime and effort I've put into this project, which makes up half of what we're supposedly being thanked for, you'd think an alternative jaunt would have been suggested. V and

GF- that sucks. Think that as you can't go, you should ask for the day off as your reward for working your ass off!!!!

Happy birthday nettie Laura how mean of the NHS to block your access. Don't know how I would cope without my MN addictions.

For all of those going to the spa, I remember booking a hotel for 10 days with DD because it had a spa...only to be bared because I was pregnant. They wouldn't let me access any of the facilities

makescakes wow they seem to have made some improvements on the delivery suites at the PRU. Mind you it wasn't so bad at the time, they did have been bags balls etc but not CD and bath in all the rooms. I an very because when I saw the state of the rooms here on Tuesday I thought I was going to cry! I need to have that HB, I cannot possibly give birth in that poxy hospital!!

GF very on your behalf. That is so mean and inconsiderate. Perhaps you should mention that you are feeling a bit overlooked and left out? They may reconsider or at least organise something extra like a nice meal to thank YOU.

Neen you look fab, I am jalous. Although I went to see my physio yesterday who said I was bonny. I could have kissed her. It is not true but it did cheer me up. Have put on about 10-11kg so far, which is a vast improvement on DD (put on 3 stones)

gf grr on your behalf - obviously organised by a man who wouldn't have thought to include everyone!

Greenfairy, wtf, paintballing! On your last day? Did you say anything?

LauraT, very mean of the NHS to block your MN. My work has banned facebook etc but not Mumsnet yet - I think because all the IT guys are blokes and it wouldn't occur to them!

However, one of my colleagues got her Facebook restored as she uses social networking for research purposes. LOL but it's true. Can't remember what your speciality is but could you argue that you need your MN as a window into the world of your patients ... ?

Re exam, how far away from 10 June are you due?

I was shocked to discover that Kingston doesn't offer maternity unit tours any more either. I hadn't thought about infection control, which explains it, but it would be nice to know what to expect. How to choose between the two birth suites when I can't see them? Perhaps I should do an antenatal class there or something.

Neenz, you look fab!

I have emailed him to point out that (a) I can't come and (b) it's my last day. But in a slightly jokey way, as I work in a v male environment and they probably won't get why it's upset me.
Hopefully they'll work out they need to compensate in some way, but I'm not THAT hopeful.

Btw ladies - lack of delivery suite tours is NOTHING to do with infection control and everything to do with short staffing and overbooking of maternity wards.

As my own hospital trust admitted when I complained about the lack of access in writing...

I am visiting mine on Sunday. But considering what I saw when I was in on Tuesday, I am not very keen. I wonder if they give the place a good scrub and remove the bloods stains before the tour to avoid putting people off?

Hoorah! the block is lifted, at least temporarily and I'm feeding my addiction lots in case the access denied screen should reappear!

greenfairy surely no-one actually likes paintballing anyway, and everyone only pretends to enjoy it - an alternative would probably secretly please lots of your colleagues??

re stupid exam - I'm due on 26th June, so it's 2 weeks before, and my official mat leave starts on 15th- but only because I was trying to frontload it with annual leave that I'm due, otherwise I would probably have finished at about then. It's some ridiculous thing that doesn't count for anything but there's no other opportunity to sit it and it's frowned on not to attend. I could easily have booked to be away on holiday in other circumstances anyway, so I'm inclined just to miss it.

on an entirely different vein, have any of you experienced mums used reuseable nappies? I have checked out the nappy lady's advice thing, which seems very well informed and am probably going to do as they recommended, just wondered if anyone has any feedback on it?

greenfairy as you might know I work in HR and I'm appalled that you are being excluded from a team reward! Essentially they are paying everyone to do something fun instead of working for the day so at the very very least they should let you have the day off. .

makecakes sorry your parenting classes are so rubbish. Fingers crossed you'll get more out of the NCT ones. My NCT ones are going well; seems like a nice bunch of folk. Got the dates and times through for NHS ones. They are very helpfully at lunch time near my home (which is out of town in very residential area). Rant alert: At lunch time I need to eat - not sit in health centre The time is a complete PITA for anyone who works in yown (as people often do - apart from local shops etc not much round my way in the way of workplaces). If they were in the morning I could go to work after class, or in afternoon come to work first. But no, lunchtime appt means I have to come all the way in to work then go all the way home then come all the way back in and go all the way home again at lunchtime. Grrrrr.

Oh no hospital tour in Edinburgh either!

DQ - that's a good point re 'paying people to have fun'. Plus it's £15 a head plus the cost of the paintballs, which probably doubles that - and they're covering that.

Am actually hoping they'll pay for me to go to the local spa or something. But if they don't 'surprise' me with that then I'm just going to tell them I'm having the day off as it is completely unfair.

I'll only end up having a totally miserable last day if I come in as there will literally be no one on my floor apart from me...

This is actually the second time this has happened this year. Last time it was just our section and I was left to come in on my own. But I'm not doing it again.

PS. Laura - I can't suggest a group alternative really, although thanks for the thought. For a start it would be a direct challenge to my department head, who's actually a decent sort and probably just didn't think it through...

Plus they are all v up for it (I work in sports media and am one of only four women in my department) and 'a meal in town' just doesn't have the same attraction to them. (And in honesty, if I wasn't pg I would be well up for going too - it's that kind of office and most of the time I'm glad of that).

So, I may say something further to our department head next week when I'm not feeling quite so raw - right now I just think I'd get upset - if he doesn't suggest anything before then. Am hoping the fact I've pointed out I can't come will make him reflect over the weekend and suggest something for me as a treat.

And he, of all people, is fully aware of how much work I've done on this key project...

Hi everyone

Feeling really crap, have a cold and sore throat, In work and should really be in bed but can't get anyone to cover for me, so I'm stuck here 'til six.

Neenz wouldn't worry too much about weight/size, my ds was 81b 1oz when he was born but all the new born stuff was too big, had to get dh to run out and get some early baby clothes, and he was quite a big baby. So I think 5lb will probably be fine even if they are a bit bigger. Are you being induced at 37 weeks? Sorry I should check back, can't believe its only a few weeks away.

makecakes Your hospital sounds lovely, my first birth was in a room so small the midwife had to climb across the bed to get round the otherside as I was on a birthing ball at the end of the bed, I was lucky she let me use the ball as it must have been a major inconvenience for her. They do have birthing suites, but only one with a bath and I understand in Scotland you can't actually have a water birth anyway. My antenatal classes were like yours as well, I remember mw asked if anyone was worried about tearing and I was the only one to put up my hand and ask questions, but people did warm up a bit as time went on, so hopefully will be better next time.

I am going to go back to feeling sorry for myself now and count down the hrs until I can go to bed!

PP & DQ - I gained three stone last time and did lose it all (and more) before my DS was 9 months - so don't panic too much about weight gain now! (I still feel horrible about the state of my thighs this time too - but I have more faith it's temporary).

ktpie - DH is doing a road race when I'm 37.5 weeks pregnant - and the only way I'd agree to let him go is if I & DS come and watch so if I go into labour we can all go to the local hospital. Fortunately I have long labours and the race is a series of loops so he'll never be more than two hours away by bike. I'm still nervous about it though!

greenfairy - my work is guy dominated too and I agree that they wont have thought this through at all. Hopefully if you suggest an alternative for yourself because "you're so disappointed in missing the paintballing" they'll be happy with that though!

Tee hee- just heard from Estate Agent...people we are buying from want to move on 23rd May, a mere six days before my due date!

Thanks Aberdeen. Had my 32 week GP appointment today and the bump is 32cm. So I'm not abnormally big for a pregnant lady, it just seems like I'm the only pregnant lady around...!

Happy to report everything appears fine, heart beat, positioning, etc.

Waited a while in waiting room with two mums & their young babies. Found myself getting really emotional and still am now actually. Need a good blub I think. I feel like I don't really know where/who I am at the moment. I don't fit in with the Mums yet, but I also don't fit in at work anymore (working from home, mad pregnancy head means I don't feel quite as capable, can't look at long term projects, etc). Also still waiting on mortgage decision - not hopeful TBH - but it's just another uncertainty right now. The weight thing is probably connected as well, where's my body/life/home at the moment? Sorry for the rant, I just feel a bit lost....

makecakes - oh dear are you going to try and persuade them to bring it forward?

PP sorry you feel like that. But hey you fit with us right? I kind of know what you mean though I work from home too at the moment and I feel a bit disconnected with everything. It is like I am in limbo or something.

The first pregnancy is a massive change and it can be hard to adapt, it does take some time. Your body change, you lose you mind (at least I do) you forget where you put the cream eggs, you are not sick, but you are not fully able body either. And all people seem to want to talk to you about is your pregnancy. It is like you are not a person in your own right anymore. There is just one thing for it (or two rather) patience and chocolate. The weight will drop (although not with the chocolate) and you will soon belong again, altough motherhood is also quite a big change and not always easy (but very rewarding in the long run). Any way I will stop waffling and send you a big hug.

PP- don't worry it will only be a few more weeks before you have something that will take all your focus and everything else will fall into it's place.

PP I felt like that too, with my ds. You don't really know what to expect, its such a big change. Try to embrace it, enjoy your body you look beautiful and you are growing a baby it is seriously the most amazing thing. Don't expect your body to return to normal straight after the birth, all these celebrities are freaks IMO. I looked like some kind of weird plastic surgery botch on day 3 after birth, my boobs looked like Jordan's and my stomach looked like a deflated baloon. I actually found with bf I put weight on for the first few weeks, but from about 4 months the weight just fell of and after gaining 3 stone during pregnancy by time ds was 6 months I had lost most of it so don't worry. You will also find your place in Mummy land if that's what you want, I met lovely mum's at post natal classes, mother and baby yoga and baby massage, but I didn't really leave the house until ds was 6 weeks, other than supermarket and walks in the pram.
Sorry to waffle on, but I know what it's like and things do just come naturally and fall into place, I was the least maternal person before ds, but its a lot of fun - I promise

Just read back my post, and I hope it doesn't make you feel worse! I just didn't want you to feel awful if your body doesn't just ping back in shape. My tummy and boobs did look ok again but it did take a few months.

Thanks everyone - just having the rant and voicing the wierd thoughts going round in my head made it all seem less big.

Needahand - Chocolate, patience and hugs sounds like the way forward.

Josie - Remind me of this period of relative bliss in a few months time when I haven't slept for a week!

Katyjo - Your post didn't make me feel worse, made me feel lots better, thank you. LOL at the bodged surgery image - at least I won't have overly high unrealistic expectations now!

I think I needed reminded that today will pass and to look at the bigger picture. I am excited really, just as Needahand described, am in limbo right now. And that's very strange for a control freak like me.

PP - I keep having a strange feeling of stepping into the unknown. To be honest I haven't really spent much time around babies and haven't really got a clue what my daily life will be like when the baby is born, or how I will cope with being on my own at home all day. Plus our house is still on the market so how long we will be living here is a complete unknown especially in the current property market. I go from days of being very excited to days of feeling really nervous. I'm glad I have you lot to talk to!

AH - good idea about going to the bike race, the only race my DH is going to is in July or August so the baby will definitely be here by then. I got a load of stick from the cycling club the other week about how come I wasn't letting him go on their week long trip to Scotland the week before I am due. Bless him, he hadn't even mentioned it to me, had worked out for himself that being hours away from the road by bike, probably with no signal and then 5 or 6 hours drive away might not be the best plan that week!

makecakes - Have you asked them to move it? That has been my fear that we will end up moving at the same time as the baby decides to be born, looks unlikely now though as we haven't had any interest in the house.

PP I am a control freak too that's why I don't like Limbo!

It took me a while to get back in shape even whils bf. I had to resort to good old weighwatchers last time.

Rant away, that is why we are here for