August 2021 Babies - Final evictions and the fourth trimester

[BertieBotts]

Time for a new thread! :)

29 gorgeous new babies have joined us already, welcome to the world 💖💙🥳

@Smurf123 - Welcome to the world, baby Sophia 💖
@wimbler - Welcome to the world, baby boy 💙
@Jessicapebbles - Welcome to the world, baby Ebony💖
@Inmypjsagain - Welcome to the world, baby boy💙
@PurplePansy05 - Welcome to the world, baby Leo Alexander 💙
@WinterBabyof89 - Welcome to the world, baby Rosie 💖
@Winecoffeeteamum - Welcome to the world, baby Emily 💖
@Ready2020 - Welcome to the world, baby Rowan 💖
@Magik01 - Welcome to the world, baby Isaac 💙
@Hoares3 - Welcome to the world, baby Ellis 💙
@Daffodil21 - Welcome to the world, baby Elliot James 💙
@sarah13xx - Welcome to the world, baby Freddie 💙
@MrsB2019x - Welcome to the world, baby Ella💖
@Biscuitcat - Welcome to the world, baby Rowan 💙
@Whatshouldbemyusername - Welcome to the world, baby Arya-Nyah 💖
@notinthestarsigns - Welcome to the world, baby Erin 💖
@Aaaaa1519 - Welcome to the world, baby Anum 💖
@Angelesque - Welcome to the world, baby Isaac 💙
@Millymay13 - Welcome to the world, baby Ethan Benjamin 💙
@WolfMother326 - Welcome to the world, baby Alasdair William 💙
@BertieBotts - Welcome to the world, baby Alexander 💙
@RandomCatGenerator - Welcome to the world, baby Solomon 💙
@lucyrp - Welcome to the world, baby Evelyn Rose 💖
@HopefulB - Welcome to the world, baby Chloé 💖
@Mmr224 - Welcome to the world, baby Alasdair 💙
@Smallbean27 - Welcome to the world, baby boy 💙
@Fran919 - Welcome to the world, baby girl 💖
@Caz1226 - Welcome to the world, baby Dougie 💙
@Ava50x - Welcome to the world, baby boy 💙
@dirtyfries - Welcome to the world, baby Frankie! 💖

Counting down until till they welcome their munchkins:

@Dia12 - EDD 8 August, Girl 💖
@livingwithbees - EDD 16 August, surprise 💛
@Sheisfee - EDD 19 August, Girl 💖
@Alittlexmasmagic - EDD 22 August, surprise 💛
@LottSE20 - EDD 22 August, surprise 💛
@ame88 - EDD 28 August, Girl 💖

@Daffodil21 several of your posts I could have written myself! Our journeys seem very similar in many ways.

Saw paediatrician today - suspected cows milk allergy is mooted as the reason foe the painful and all consuming wind. Trying a hydrolysed formula. Solomon HATES the taste unfortunately. In for a long few days I think…

We’ve just gone through our nightly screaming session. He seems to be overtired every night from his bath at 6/7 until about 9pm when he just conks out. He literally screams non-stop the entire time and milk is one of the only things that can stop him. He got himself so upset and drank so much that he then made himself sick and was then hungry again. I went for a bath in amongst all this and left my partner with him. He was sick on him twice. I came back down to him sitting with no top on completely horrified at how hard work it is to be left with him 😂 think he has sympathy for me during the day now (although he doesn’t do it then)! He slept way more today so wasn’t expecting him to get to the screaming/overtired stage today. Hope we’re in for a peaceful night now 😅

@sarah13xx are you getting your peaceful night?

I put DD down at 1.55 after she fell asleep on my boob at 1.35. It's 2.20 and she's started moving about in the snuz pod. That's pretty bang on the 45 minute sleep cycle. During the day she sleeps on but at night she just wakes up at this point. Not sure if it's possible to get her to sleep past that point or sooth her back to sleep without fully waking her I just ignore her unless she cries.

@Ready2020 near enough 😊 he was just up at 3ish then back up at 6.30. So needed a decent sleep! Somehow he can be an absolute terror during the day to the point you can’t take another second of it but other than one night (touch wood) he sleeps so well 🤷🏼‍♀️ Very strange! Hope you got some more sleep after that. We have a Ewan the sheep that seems to work if he lightly wakes up. I heard him awake before 6 and thought I’d be getting up but Ewan came on and sorted him out and he went back to sleep for another hour!

I feel like an absolute failure of a mother. Supposed to be going to get my nails done today and a friend is taking me and coming in incase Evie decides she's not happy, she suggested going for dinner after where our other friend works but I've spent the whole morning crying because I'm so scared to leave the house because I don't know how she will be with regards to feeding. I feel like my breast feeding is almost definitely over and am getting no help whatsoever, she only ever seems full now when she's had some formula after a feeding session even if she's been on the boobs for 40 minutes. She doesn't even like feeding from the nipple shields now as I fear she prefers the bottle. They don't seem to care as long as she's putting on weight. The only person who's listened to my tongue tie concerns are the health visitor but I could be waiting 12 weeks for that appointment and as it stands I don't feel like I can breast feed for much longer at all. I've looked privately but the woman who would he closest to me to asses the tongue tie and perform the snip isn't back in work until 20th September. There is someone else who could see me on the 16th but is even more expensive and doesn't seem the right fit. Also I don't even feel like formula is an option because she doesn't ever keep it down. Last night I had fed her followed by a bottle and she was asleep, OH popped out the back to put something in the bin and DD was asleep in her sleepyhead. I ran upstairs to get something and when I came back down she was choking on her sick, arms flailing, eyes bulging. Will note this is not the first time she's choked/ gagging on saliva/sick. The sick was all over her face, all over her clothes, all over the sleepyhead everywhere. Was very scary. Had to take her up to bath her which she enjoyed and she was lay on the bed after all chilled out in the towel, I was stroking her face and singing to her and I called OH to come and look how chilled she was and all of a sudden she projectile vomited everywhere again. Loads of it. I just don't know what to do. I can't do the whole pumping thing either so it feels like I have no options 😣 i feel like the shields have affected my supply along with the formula top ups, my breasts never feel full or empty just always the same. I still leak into breast pads etc and yesterday I managed to pump 60ml from both breasts within 25 minutes but then she wanted to feed straight after and I felt like I'd stolen the milk from her.

Sorry for the rant😓

Well the kendamil made him worse. He was so much more unsettled! However the drops seem to be helping, so back to the Aldi formula with the infacol it is! Thank you for all your suggestions.

I just tried taking him into the bathroom and sitting him in the bath seat like I mentioned a while back (hadn't had to do it until now as my mum's been here). He love it! He was so settled in there that I left him in there for a bit. He was looking around and taking it all in, so I've ordered some black and white flash cards and some magnets to put on the inside of the bath (it's a steel bath) - you've got to maximise the happy places where you can 😂

@lucyrp that all sounds very stressful. What did you decide to do in the end? Have you tried switching the formula? It is absolutely not your fault! ❤️

@lucyrp that sounds terrifying. Have you spoken to your gp about the vomiting? Sorry it’s so stressful for you. We don’t have quite projectile vomiting but he’s on gaviscon and he barely brings up any milk at all after he’s had a dose of that in his bottle. Might be worth trying a different brand of formula to see if that helps as well?

Do you know if there are any community breastfeeding places you can go to? Might be worth checking with your HV or midwife? Where I live we have an advice line for the first month after birth and then the Health visitor one you can use up to the age of 19.

I hope there’s support out there, it can be tricky to find but once you do it’s really worth it. Where are you based? Xx

Baby Lily born on the 6th September 05.16am (41+2) weighing a whopping 10lb 14oz. We are besotted!

Wow congratulations @ame88 😍 hope you’re doing okay

@lucyrp sorry you’re trying to deal with all of that 😔 sounds very stressful! Freddie is now formula fed and if he’s taken too much will do that projective vomiting thing while lying down, it’s so scary! Luckily it’s always when I’ve been watching him but it scares me that it could happen while we’re asleep. Could it be that she’s taking too much formula after your breast milk too? Don’t really know how you stop it though as he takes too much sometimes 🤦🏼‍♀️ That’s so hard going that there’s such a long wait for any kind of help or support! No wonder people give up breastfeeding. I barely made it past the first hurdle so you’re doing well to still be going. Don’t go tonight if you’re getting yourself worked up about it, I’m sure your friend would rearrange it

Congratulations @ame88 ! That’s a brilliant weight! What a cutie.

Congratulations @ame88! Lovely news! 😍

We had a great day yesterday with my friend and her LO. However today DS is a terror...honestly, it saddens me to say it and I feel awful for it, but it's been a fucking terrible day.

He woke up at 3am, unusual for him. Had a lovely long feeds, but was wide awake after, so I held him in my arms till 5am. Finally, in deep sleep, put him in his cot. Slept through till 8am. Then screaming terribly, terribly, just inconsolable. Only because I had 15 mins in the shower and washed my hair 🙄 Not allowed. Tried feeding him, he unlatched himself in excess of 20 times. Gave up, cried, DH gave him a bottle and I pumped. Got 160ml from both breasts, brilliant. He then wanted cuddles. Fine. Spent an hour actually sleeping in his cot after, thank god. Meanwhile I researched stuff we'll need for him starting from next year and realised I should have saved more money. That's made me depressed. Everything is getting more expensive too.

Then I spoke to the GP, DS is going on baby Gaviscon. We'll see what happens. Been told no postnatal check up at all for me and even my post-GD check up I'll have to arrange myself

He woke up, we had another I thought lovely feed...put him down to dry my hair finally after like 8 hours and he's fucking screaming again, the most horrible of screams. Gave up on the hair. Tried feeding again, same story, he won't latch on at all.

I know I should be latching him on asap and I really try, but honestly on some days I wouldn't get anything done at all, not even wash myself. And then he gets himself to an absolute state for no reason. I just don't understand, he's normally a happy, content baby. There's no need for this horrid screaming.

I feel like an awful mother because of this screaming. It's going right through my head and literally makes me want to run out through the patio door and just run until I can't hear it and have 5 mins of silence. It's so hard to listen to. I feel awful for feeling angry and upset because I obviously know it's not his fault. It's so difficult sometimes, out of the blue, here comes a shit day or several in a row. I don't get it and I'm upset that I can't understand things.

Sorry for a long post, I just feel like such an incapable mother today, can't even keep him happy and he doesn't need much!

Is this even normal? Things will get worse when he's older too, right? No idea how I'm gonna cope then 😔 xx

@PurplePansy05 sounds like my day yesterday. Actually DS probably wasn't that bad but it's the bloody screaming when nothing seems to help (I think the formula switch was making him worse, today he is a different baby with the old formula and the infacol drops). My husband definitely heard lots of 'oh for fuck sake' 'do what you want it won't make any fucking difference' etc etc yesterday, and I left them both downstairs and went to bed at 9 because I was just so sick of listening to him. I was half expecting DH to say they'll come upstairs too and I was full on going to say no! I never thought I would lose my patience so much given what it's taken to get to this point, but we're all human! You're not a bad mother at all! You just need a break. It is hard sometimes. Hopefully tomorrow will be better

Oh @Daffodil21 I'm so glad you wrote this with such honesty. I looked at him today and said pretty much the same things when I was upset and he would not shut up and then I felt so awful cause I obviously love him more than anything and I didn't mean it 😔 It's like I sometimes feel like I shouldn't ever complain or feel upset because I'm so lucky to even have him. And then when I do occasionally feel this way when I don't know what else I can do, I beat myself up for it xx

@PurplePansy05 when I was pregnant I actually said to my friend that if he was ok I would never complain about being tired or anything, but of course that is not the reality! Yes we are lucky they're here and safe, but we don't deserve it any less than anyone who hasn't struggled to get here, and we are perfectly entitled to have hours or days when it isn't all sunshine and joy. Of course you love him, I do too but that doesn't mean there hasn't been moments when I've lost my patience. I know he can't help it and I do feel bad if I'm at the 'oh ffs' stage, but with lack of sleep combined with relentless crying when there's nothing we can do to stop it is going to take its toll. Thankfully for me this doesn't happen often, so really I should have had more patience yesterday! Keep going, you're doing amazingly and remember this is all still new!

@PurplePansy05 I’ve definitely shouted at my newborns before when it just seems like nothing is working. It’s totally normal and absolutely does not mean you’re a terrible mother. We all have our limits.

I suggest ear plugs. You will still hear the baby screaming but it takes the edge of it and makes it more bearable. I promise.

Gaviscon is working for us. Maybe start with half a sachet per bottle feed. I’ve tried following the dosage instructions for a breastfed baby but to be honest trying to get 15ml of it mixed with water down him is a joke. It says for formula fed babies to mox it with 4oz but I just mix it with whatever bottle I’m giving him. Make a paste with a bit of milk then add the rest. It’s quite hard to mix in but it does go eventually.

There are also things called leaps that babies all go through. This could be the first leap. They’re often fussy and difficult when they’re going through one. I’d suggest the wonder weeks app!
I’m having another I want to quit breastfeeding day. His latch is still rubbish despite having his tongue tie sorted and now he’s started thrashing on the boob and pulling on it whilst it’s in his mouth snd twisting his head like a bloody owl. It’s so painful!

@Daffodil21 I decided to go after all and I'm glad we did as DD was very well behaved. She fed in the morning around 8 and my friend came round at 9 and looked after her while I got dressed and sorted her bag. I popped down to the doctors to register her and asked for a call with a doctor about her feeding. She was due a feed at 11 when I got to my nail appointment but I popped into tesco just before and got some Kendamil to try and made a bottle up of that for my friend to feed her while we were in there. She drank it fine and managed to keep it down with not a lot of winding. Although I didn't breast feed before as my nail tech needed both of my hands at the same time. We went for food after and she breast fed while we were there great! The doctor rang back too and is getting in contact with my HV to see what she says about the tongue tie and hopefully speed up the referral as I explained how it was now affecting me and how I think it's affecting our breast feeding. I feel a bit better at the moment 🥰

@wimbler it was honestly so scary, she's done it with her own saliva before but its never been as bad as it was last night😓 I had a call with a doctor this morning so hoping that does something in regards to getting someone to see us. We have tried Kendamil formula today and the one bottle she's had has stayed down which is great so hopefully she's okay with that.

I've tried looking into that but haven't come across anything yet. Obviously looked into lactation consultants privately too but if we can do it through the nhs I would prefer as that's obviously what they're there for! However if its going to be ages I'll obviously go private.

Of course, I'm based mid wales so pretty much a long way from everywhere 😣xx

@sarah13xx everyone always says try not to stress as that will make it worse which I've managed not to do for most of the time but the last couple of days it's really got to me and last night with the feeds and this morning I just couldn't stop crying and DD was getting fussy with my boobs even with the shields so I thought we'd buggered it. That's what I've been worrying about too about it happening when we're asleep and I have looked into side sleeping etc. She never has a great deal of formula after breast milk usually only a couple of ounces and we always burp in between every half ounce or so to try prevent the vomiting. Honestly it's an eye opener after my easy going time with DS no wonder people give up! X

@PurplePansy05 I had one of those days Tuesday when it was really hot. DD didn't stop screaming all day and OH and I both lost our patience with her and had to put her in her crib and let her cry for a while 😰x

@lucyrp glad you went and she was good!

I've just come back from slimming world - obviously we were late because getting anywhere on time with a newborn just seems impossible! It didn't matter though. He farted so many times, and it's really loud like it's me!! Does anyone else's do this?

@lucyrp I'm glad you had a better day.

I've sworn at my DD too in a fit of frustration. Mostly when I was starting to breast feed and it hurt. Recently when it's 5am and I've been up all night and she's still grousing. Hopefully it won't happen at 5am tomorrow morning as she's taken ages to get to sleep tonight. I think she gets over tired. Plus I'm super late to my evening sleep but only just had dinner so need to wait a bit as I get bad indigestion if I sleep with a full tummy. It's looking to be a hard night already but I might be surprised.

I went to the doctors today at I've been having pain in my nether region when I sit or go to the loo. Turns out I've got a tear that either wasn't stitched or re tore or the stitch fell out. Whatever the issue I've got a wee 1cm tear still. It bloody hurts. I've got antibiotics to take (they always upset my tummy) and to take paracetamol and ibuprofen round the clock again. It should heal. But it makes walking sore too plus scootching across the bed to put DD in her pod. Slightly doesn't surprise me as they took an hour and a half to stitch me and made a hash of it.

Felt bad for my OH today as he didn't see DD much and the only time he has had with her is to put a grumpy baby to sleep.

Thanks girls

Well, my DS is still having a bloody evil day, I told DH I'll jump out of the window in the next 10 mins if he doesn't shut up, so he's taken him to a different room 🤣🤦🏼‍♀️Honestly, what a day. DH is working away tomorrow and I'm dreading every minute.

I am also wondering now if DS is actually allergic to formula because things have started going downhill since he's had his top ups and he has this pretty angry rash/acne after formula. It looks angry after bf too but this could just be body heat. Maybe it's not baby acne but an allergy to cows' milk or lactose intolerance? He has a lot of gas, keeps straining his lower body, back & neck arching, the lot. I'm so confused. My instinct is to stop topping him up with Cow & Gate and go back to EBF asap, but his needs are beyond relentless atm.

Any thoughts re allergy/intolerance and suggestions regarding a different formula would be very welcome! xx

Gosh @lucyrp that sounds so scary! Glad you are feeling slightly better though and hopefully the kenamil works for you 🤞🏼 Hoping your GP can speed things up in terms of the tongue tie as well.

@ame88 congratulations! I bet you are so relived, and what a weight!

@PurplePansy05 I could have written your post myself. The past few days Isaac is getting himself in such a state when BF- more so evening and night though. It’s like he’s super impatient and if he doesn’t latch perfectly first time he’s inconsolable and just cry and I have to try and latch him 20 plus times. Not sure if he’s over tired at this joint?

Also don’t feel bad loosing your patience, we all have our limits and sleep deprivation makes things a million times worse. I’ve sworn at him and even shouted and I know it’s not his fault it’s just in the moment. Did it with my first as well. I think if a mum says she never lost her patience at this stage she’s probably lying!!

So far DS has been awake 4 and a half hours of a majority of screaming. Ready to pull my hair out. I’m also beyond tired. Dreading tonight.