August 2021 Babies - Final evictions and the fourth trimester

[BertieBotts]

Time for a new thread! :)

29 gorgeous new babies have joined us already, welcome to the world 💖💙🥳

@Smurf123 - Welcome to the world, baby Sophia 💖
@wimbler - Welcome to the world, baby boy 💙
@Jessicapebbles - Welcome to the world, baby Ebony💖
@Inmypjsagain - Welcome to the world, baby boy💙
@PurplePansy05 - Welcome to the world, baby Leo Alexander 💙
@WinterBabyof89 - Welcome to the world, baby Rosie 💖
@Winecoffeeteamum - Welcome to the world, baby Emily 💖
@Ready2020 - Welcome to the world, baby Rowan 💖
@Magik01 - Welcome to the world, baby Isaac 💙
@Hoares3 - Welcome to the world, baby Ellis 💙
@Daffodil21 - Welcome to the world, baby Elliot James 💙
@sarah13xx - Welcome to the world, baby Freddie 💙
@MrsB2019x - Welcome to the world, baby Ella💖
@Biscuitcat - Welcome to the world, baby Rowan 💙
@Whatshouldbemyusername - Welcome to the world, baby Arya-Nyah 💖
@notinthestarsigns - Welcome to the world, baby Erin 💖
@Aaaaa1519 - Welcome to the world, baby Anum 💖
@Angelesque - Welcome to the world, baby Isaac 💙
@Millymay13 - Welcome to the world, baby Ethan Benjamin 💙
@WolfMother326 - Welcome to the world, baby Alasdair William 💙
@BertieBotts - Welcome to the world, baby Alexander 💙
@RandomCatGenerator - Welcome to the world, baby Solomon 💙
@lucyrp - Welcome to the world, baby Evelyn Rose 💖
@HopefulB - Welcome to the world, baby Chloé 💖
@Mmr224 - Welcome to the world, baby Alasdair 💙
@Smallbean27 - Welcome to the world, baby boy 💙
@Fran919 - Welcome to the world, baby girl 💖
@Caz1226 - Welcome to the world, baby Dougie 💙
@Ava50x - Welcome to the world, baby boy 💙
@dirtyfries - Welcome to the world, baby Frankie! 💖

Counting down until till they welcome their munchkins:

@Dia12 - EDD 8 August, Girl 💖
@livingwithbees - EDD 16 August, surprise 💛
@Sheisfee - EDD 19 August, Girl 💖
@Alittlexmasmagic - EDD 22 August, surprise 💛
@LottSE20 - EDD 22 August, surprise 💛
@ame88 - EDD 28 August, Girl 💖

Oh dear @Magik01 he does sound like he's being very unreasonable. It's for both your good that he go down stairs. Does he sleep OK on the sofa? Is that why he's reluctant?

Thanks for the replies re getting baby to sleep. I just wanted to check if I'm doing it the same! Do you all tend to settle in the bedroom in the evening then transfer upstairs later or just settle upstairs in the evening then just go to bed early,

Does anyone suffer from jumpy legs? I get it a lot. It can be hard during breastfeeding. I think it can be down to iron levels or tiredness.

@Ready2020 we’ve changed to just putting him down upstairs in the bedroom a bit later rather than attempting the struggle we were having every night trying to eat dinner with one hand while he screamed because he wouldn’t go down in the Moses basket. We’re now just accepting he won’t go down until then so we’ll have dinner one at a time unless he falls asleep and it actually seems to have made things less stressful so far

@Magik01 another tick for the ‘selfish man’ box 🙈 I really don’t think they see the other side of it at all. DH went in a huff the other night because the baby had been sick on his crib and our bed and somehow that was my fault. I just made no big drama and changed the sheets but he went in such a strop then went to sleep early. Obviously never bothered to set an alarm then shock, I had to do the 11pm feed again. The next night he came in from work, never apologised and went back out again without saying what he was doing. He came back in again and started making his dinner and stuff. It wasn’t until he tried to take him off me for a cuddle that I asked why he hadn’t apologised and he looked genuinely confused that I would expect an apology 🤔 I pointed out that by now I’d looked after Freddie on my own for just a few hours short of 24 hours and can he imagine he’d looked after him for that length of time because I’d slept through the one feed I’m meant to do. I got a half hearted ‘sorry’ and he said I can go to his work instead if I want! I don’t think they get it at all 🤷🏼‍♀️

@Magik01, I remember your sofa palaver like it was yesterday! I'd be furious if he now refused to sleep on it! I can only imagine how big it is after all your efforts so he seriously needs to stop thinking he's a sunshine and get over himself! He's not even hormonal now, if anything you have every excuse to be s primadonna now, not him. You need to hsvea word with him tomorrow.

Sorry I'm on a harsh one tonight, just woke up with a massive hormonal hot flush, they're back

If I get wound up with DH, I take a mini-revenge by leaving him with the most complicated outfit to dress DS into (read lots of poppers). DS has about 10 seconds toleeance when on a changing mat unless I distract him, otherwise he screams blue murder. There. Little things xx

I will add too, in the last fortnight I have been leaving DS with DH more, including dentist, haidresser etc. I also told him off for being selfish with detailed examples and he too looked confused But after my haidresser outing, longest so far, he looked so drained and was 'recovering all day in work' next day (his own words ), then passed out on a sofa for a power nap by 9pm I waited for these exact words. I can see he bow understands how hard it is a bit more and he has really stepped up this week and I can't fault him. But it took me really pulling him up on his selfish/inconsiderate behaviours throughout and standing my ground, which was difficult for me as in my head he should just know. No one teaches us common sense and empathy, we just have to get on with things, whereas they often use any excuse under the sun to do what they want, not what they should. xx

I’m up with a hot flush too which is ridiculous as baby and husbAnd still sleeping! May as well just stay awake now as it’s feeding time in an hour.

@Ready2020 we move into our bedroom from around 8ish, it’s dark but we have a tv in our room (which is controversial apparently!) so that’s on, so we watch tv in bed and wind down with baby. We play white noise on our Alexa which is on my bedside table which is next to the crib, when he falls asleep when transfer him in the crib and he sleeps on while we get ready for bed in the en-suite. I think he’s used to the routine of coming to bed and having his sleeping bag Put on as a sign for sleep, he doesn’t wear it in the day.

@Magik01 wow that would seriously irritate me a lot.
Don’t have much to advise but I feel outraged on your behalf!

@sarah13xx Imagine being cross that a baby was sick!

I get these they’re tired but jeez, imagine what they’d be like doing all the childcare?! At least when they go to work they can talk like a normal adult (anyone else realised they seem to hold all conversations in a sing song voice? Just me?!) and have a hot cup of coffee. Baby is pretty chilled I think and I’m still running around all the time doing stuff… I think they forget we’re all still recovering from birth after the exhaustion of pregnancy as well!!

I think if I was to go to the office now, I'd be far more rested than I am every day! Work is a breeze comparing to childcare because I'm in control and know what I'm doing. Agree re adult conversations. Whenever a friend comes to visit, I cherish it and it helps a lot mentally. We tend to forget we need appropriate stimulation as adults too, not only our babies. xx

Same here @Inmypjsagain, I woke up as DS was stirring, but he's self soothed and everyone's asleep but me lol 😆 he'll want a feed soon and I'm wide awake anyway, am reading stuff online xx

@Inmypjsagain it’s so true! I drove yesterday for the first time and just went to tesco for a few things. I honestly felt like I was on some big day out, it was great 😂 I’ve woke up some mornings really tired as well and thought I don’t have the energy to make a one way conversation in a high pitched voice all day today 🙈 Any time I leave him with him he totally gets it after, even if I’m only upstairs in the bath. He’ll text me from downstairs asking when I’m coming back 😂

We have the tv on in bed too! I really wondered what we’d do about it while I was pregnant but I just make sure it’s on when he’s first put into his crib so he’s not going to get a fright at it going on. I do think it probably adds to the reasons of why he doesn’t want to go down at first but I can’t live my life sat in a dark room from 8pm every night 🤷🏼‍♀️

I’m a teacher of very young kids so I’m already dreading when I go back to work and have to do that all day then come home exhausted to look after a baby 😩😂 I used to come in and lie on my bed in the dark for ages every night, don’t think I’ll have the time for that now!

FYI snot suckers are not compulsory :o they weren't a thing when I had DS1 so I haven't used them on principle with DS2 because the whole idea makes me feel and I also wonder whether they're even a good idea... Snot is produced for a reason and if babies needed a way to clear it then they would have one. In my experience it all just dries up and then they sneeze it out.

Argh I have been up all night tossing and turning and itching with 100 mosquito bites :(

We just keep him with us in the living room for now until we go to bed.

Oh I forgot to add - it's too early to worry about distasis recti, all of us will have some separation at this point, that's totally normal. This is why you need to be careful about rushing about and getting back into normal life, and also avoid certain types of movement (it was explained to me in hospital but I can't remember now) it's mainly using your tummy muscles to move around which should be avoided I think. And then later if they don't go back together by themselves then you should seek advice with it but I've heard the NHS is not great with this as an issue.

We also have DS in the living room with us until our bed time. We're now having a decent stretch at night, from 8:8:30-ish to 2-ish, but the problem is it's far too early! I need to figure out how to move it back by a couple of hours. And after his 2-ish feed he really struggles to settle, so we spend most of the night up 😫 I can't tell if it's just noisy newborn sleep or something else. He doesn't sound distressed, but neither of us can sleep through. I thought it might be infant dyschezia as it sounds like he's straining, but it goes on for ages and I thought that was only meant to be a few minutes before they poo?

Ridiculous hearing about all the husbands who just don't get it! I'm lucky in that DH is generally really helpful but I don't think he understands how draining it is doing it all day - yesterday I managed really well all day and had him pretty much on my own from 8-5-ish as he was gardening, then got frustrated as he wouldn't settle when I knew he needed to and I was knackered as he'd hardly slept all day - not half an hour later after holding him DH is saying he wonders if we need extra childcare help...

Thanks ladies, I knew it wasn’t me being unreasonable! @Ready2020 he’s never slept on the sofa before last night so he can’t use that excuse, I’ve slept on it and it was fine for me.
@PurplePansy05 I fully intend to ignore every text he sends me today, he knows I can be stubborn and this is one of them times where I will exercise my right. 😂

@sarah13xx men eh?! They just don’t get it. I used to always say I’d be glad to go back to work full time and he can look after DS1 (before DS2 was born) then he had to have him for a full day and he fully understood that my “job” was harder. Then it was even worse when I worked at night after maternity, literally got no time for myself. Not looking forward to that again tbh but can’t afford not to work.

I’m jealous of all you ladies having hair and nail appointments! I’m so desperate to get my hair done.

PLUS DS2 didn’t go to sleep until 2am last night after DH brought him up, then he only slept for 1 hour stints when he did go to sleep. I’m bloody knackered. I swear if DH come home and says he’s tired after his uninterrupted sleep I will flip.

@biscuitcat Freddie doesn’t usually wake at 11/11:30 wanting fed but if it’s been 2/3 hours we just wake him, change him then by then he usually does. It means he goes til after 3 but I wasn’t sure how I was going to extend this because he loves milk so much that I didn’t think he’d ever want to drop a feed 😂 He surprised me two nights ago though and slept to almost 6. He didn’t last night but I’m hoping in a few weeks he’ll gradually get closer to sleeping right through. He makes a lot of noise too, especially during the night when he goes down but it doesn’t seem to be to get my attention it’s just breathing/grunting noises

Dyschezia can happen at random times and if they are straining a lot but not producing anything they may give up and not poo during that attempt but make another attempt later when it all lines up. DS2 was like that.

We seem to get our longest sleep stretch from around 11pm-3am.

i think OH would actually cope fine with DD during the day on his own and at the end of the day would be like ph what's the problem? but wouldn't get anything in the house done at all so he wouldn't be stressing about that and there'd be no clean washing or anything like that done. usually he's good at doing all the housework but if there was something else he had to do like look after DD he wouldn't remember fo do the other stuff 🥴

@Magik01 I don't tiptoe at night. We have changing station upstairs and downstairs, but I use the one upstairs even if he's making a fuss. I'm not going up and down the stairs carting the baby around any more than necessary. But my DH is a heavy sleeper. I say he can move into the spare room after he brings him up so he can sleep until the 6:30ish feed, but he chooses to stay so I figured he has the option and if he doesn't take it then I'm not going to tiptoe. I even put the tv on so I have something to watch while dealing with DS. DH does sleep through this though. I think he genuinely wants to be in the same room as DS and knows he's a heavy sleeper so that does help. He does pull his weight tbf but the way I see it is they don't take the alternative offered then you crack on.

I caught myself doing sing song voice to adults yesterday 😳

@lucyrp I think mine would be exactly the same!!

We settle ds in our room and leave him to it with the monitor on. I know that’s against guidelines but living with my parents at the moment and they are just SO loud all the time banging and crashing everything around. I also seem incapable of going to bed early, not sure why but I like to eat dinner and unwind with dh before going to bed. We wake him at 10ish for a feed at the moment so then he does a good stretch after that

I think my period has started. I’m just over 7 weeks PP and have bright red blood again. I’m breastfeeding so didn’t think this would happen so soon! With dd it didn’t come back until I stopped bf at 7/8 months! Gutted!

@wimbler I used to get really angry spots on my face every month before my period started and my skins been great since having him but all of a sudden this week they’ve appeared.. I don’t think it can be far away if this is a hormonal thing. Surprised when you’re breastfeeding that it’s started again so soon but definitely possible

We’ve got a single bed in Freddie’s room for when he sleeps in there so someone can stay with him to settle him if need be but we’ve both been sleeping in the same bed every night in our room. The changing mat and chair to feed him is through in Freddie’s room so we go through there during the night and he screams so loud but I don’t even bother shutting the door. I figure if I need to deal with it he should listen to it 😂

I would love to unwind in the lounge without baby but I just need to get my nap in before the night shift otherwise I'm no help to anyone. I like the idea of putting her down upstairs and using a monitor but I'm not sure I could quite do that yet.

Speaking of monitors, we have Mama and Papa vouchers that need using and was going to buy an Angel monitor. Anyone used them?

It's taken a few hours to settle rowan tonight. She's only just gone down. I find when I do things during the day her sleep routine totally goes so she gets over tired.

I'm back at the Dr's tomorrow as I'm still getting a lot of pain from the tear in my vag. I think it needs re stitched really, not that I want to get that done again but I can't live with it like it is.

Trying to enjoy a relaxing bath while I can hear the big finale of the crying fest through the door. DH is shouting through to ask every single thing.. ‘where’s his swaddle bag? Why’s he crying? does he need a bottle? Again?!’ Think I’d be as well abandoning the bath and going to sort the pair of them out 🙄😂 Was really hoping to wash my hair in the one window of time away from him that I have but don’t think I physically have the energy to dry it anyway 🙈