August 2021 Babies - Final evictions and the fourth trimester

[BertieBotts]

Time for a new thread! :)

29 gorgeous new babies have joined us already, welcome to the world 💖💙🥳

@Smurf123 - Welcome to the world, baby Sophia 💖
@wimbler - Welcome to the world, baby boy 💙
@Jessicapebbles - Welcome to the world, baby Ebony💖
@Inmypjsagain - Welcome to the world, baby boy💙
@PurplePansy05 - Welcome to the world, baby Leo Alexander 💙
@WinterBabyof89 - Welcome to the world, baby Rosie 💖
@Winecoffeeteamum - Welcome to the world, baby Emily 💖
@Ready2020 - Welcome to the world, baby Rowan 💖
@Magik01 - Welcome to the world, baby Isaac 💙
@Hoares3 - Welcome to the world, baby Ellis 💙
@Daffodil21 - Welcome to the world, baby Elliot James 💙
@sarah13xx - Welcome to the world, baby Freddie 💙
@MrsB2019x - Welcome to the world, baby Ella💖
@Biscuitcat - Welcome to the world, baby Rowan 💙
@Whatshouldbemyusername - Welcome to the world, baby Arya-Nyah 💖
@notinthestarsigns - Welcome to the world, baby Erin 💖
@Aaaaa1519 - Welcome to the world, baby Anum 💖
@Angelesque - Welcome to the world, baby Isaac 💙
@Millymay13 - Welcome to the world, baby Ethan Benjamin 💙
@WolfMother326 - Welcome to the world, baby Alasdair William 💙
@BertieBotts - Welcome to the world, baby Alexander 💙
@RandomCatGenerator - Welcome to the world, baby Solomon 💙
@lucyrp - Welcome to the world, baby Evelyn Rose 💖
@HopefulB - Welcome to the world, baby Chloé 💖
@Mmr224 - Welcome to the world, baby Alasdair 💙
@Smallbean27 - Welcome to the world, baby boy 💙
@Fran919 - Welcome to the world, baby girl 💖
@Caz1226 - Welcome to the world, baby Dougie 💙
@Ava50x - Welcome to the world, baby boy 💙
@dirtyfries - Welcome to the world, baby Frankie! 💖

Counting down until till they welcome their munchkins:

@Dia12 - EDD 8 August, Girl 💖
@livingwithbees - EDD 16 August, surprise 💛
@Sheisfee - EDD 19 August, Girl 💖
@Alittlexmasmagic - EDD 22 August, surprise 💛
@LottSE20 - EDD 22 August, surprise 💛
@ame88 - EDD 28 August, Girl 💖

@sarah13xx I think in the last 5 weeks my hair had spent more time being wet lol.

What's everyone's opinion on the controversial putting them in their own room before 6 months. I think we'll end up putting her in her own room before then, more so as she'll grow out of her snuz pod but we've no in-between to the cot in her nursery. The cot won't fit into our room....

I need to call my GP tomorrow too, the antibiotics aren't working IMO. I think my scar needs re-stitching too and I'll be pressing to be seen and get this done, there's a gap after the stitches dissolved and it just won't heal.

V interested to hear about baby monitors, that's on our list for early next year too and I'm hoping to buy one at January sales.

I am a bit annoyed because no one has told me to avoid certain movements following CS and I was doing the exact things you've mentioned not to do @Inmypjsagain. I find the N2M is actually rubbish after CS - getting out of bed and taking baby in and out from it aren't easy and this is what's probably made my core muscles issues worse. I have it attached to our bed and I will definitely swap for the cot as soon as DS outgrows it which I am positive will happen much sooner than 6 months the way he's going now.

Re settling, we give him a bath every other day now, then dim the lights wherever we are, play lullabies and I feed him on demand. He falls asleep in the lounge with us in the eve, we can watch something. He then has a nappy change and a feed in our bed with me and DH tops him up then, and he is asleep by 11pm in his N2M. He usually sleeps through till 3am-ish, then another feed from me and then he's awake by 7am & I feed him again. Overall, I think this really works, he's settled into his natural rhythm which works for us too. I'd say this is 90% of his nights which is great. However, from mid-morning till the eve he is non-stop, he now needs to be entertained more and he needs feeding and cuddles too. It's challenging and exhausting, he just doesn't nap in the afternoon at all.

DH and I don't do any shifts as we want to share a bed. Leo doesn't cry much during the night at all. DH often watches us during the 3am feed to make sure I don't fall asleep whilst feeding.

We actually had a lovely day today but now I'm beyond exhausted! I'll have a nap now before the next feed xx

@PurplePansy05 Leo sounds very like Freddie! He’s an angel during the night but is full on during the day!

@Ready2020 yeah that’s the problem, I’ll be able to get 5 minutes to wash it tomorrow but won’t be able to dry it 🙄

I don’t know what we’ll do but can’t see him being in the snuzpod til mid February! When he’s 3 months I think il start using the cot for the longest daytime nap each day so he gets used to it then just see when feels right to move him in there at night. Maybe just after Christmas. I am very paranoid just now though but I could still use the breathing monitor and baby monitors at least, just need to see what I’m like by then 🙈

I won't be moving Sophia out of our room until 6 months at least. I know many do and dh and especially hours family will likely call me paranoid but I have to stick to the guidelines. I have her wearing the owlet already even though she's in the Moses basket beside me all night. My hv made a big point last week of saying that the recommendation is at least 6 months now for sleeps in same room.
Anyway I imagine I'll still be up doing night feeds by 6 months anyway so it is easier to have her in the room. We don't do shifts. I do all the nighttime but I turn the light on my phone on to stop me falling asleep and don't worry about being quiet for dh. But also should say that really Sophia just cries when she wakes to say she wants fed and then goes back over to sleep usually during the night .
With ds when he outgrew the Moses basket but we didn't have room in our room for the cot we set a travel cot up at the end of our bed, wasn't much space in the bedroom but just enough and at least travel cot is light and easily moved if needed. I did get a proper mattress for it but I don't remember it being very expensive

He's not going out of our room, we'll put a cot in our bedroom first and then move it to his nursery xx

However, day time naps will require a baby monitor, I think. Just can't come up with an alternative idea, maybe a sling for some short naps? But he'll be too heavy and it won't be comfortable anyway for him to sleep like this much xx

That’s why I find it so restrictive during the day not being able to get anything done. I have dogs too so obviously can’t leave them in the room with him in his moses basket for more than a few seconds. Spend my day constantly bolting upstairs for something in under 10 seconds and every time the dogs are like we aren’t going to touch him 🙄 I’ve only used the baby monitor while I’ve been in the bathroom next door to our bedroom. It’s such a difficult balance between wanting a good routine and not risking leaving them alone either

I have pets too @sarah13xx, I get what you mean. Luckily, I have a bathroom next door to our bedroom so I can leave him in the N2M, make sure the pets are out and break another world record at having a pee. But when the N2M is too small which I am pretty sure will happen in December or so, I can't think of anything else than his cot + monitor. What is everyone else's plan? Am I missing something obvious? xx

With DS1 he slept in a carrier most of the time during the day, or in the Moses basket while he still fit in it. Once he started having longer naps (I think he was older than 6 months by then) I would feed him to sleep on the bed and then roll away. Most of the time I would use that time to rest rather than get up and do things but our house is so small (and doesn't have an upstairs) so even if I got up and did things I could hear him if he woke up. Plus I'd check on him every 5 seconds because I'm an anxious mess. 😅 This time around I think it'll be the carrier 99% of the time so that I'm able to attend to DS1 while DS2 is sleeping. He's a lot heavier than DS1 was though so will have to see how we go!

For day time naps we will use the pram?
Dh is Danish and very much a fan of outdoor naps in the pram when a bit bigger. If dd is sleeping in the pram atm we wheel it into the living room or the hall if I'm in the kitchen or something.
My ds never once took a day time nap in a cot he barely slept in it at night never mind day 🙈 I doubt dd will be taking any naps in it but tbh that will also be because of ds nursery times etc as our nursery schools are all dual day here due to being oversubscribed so he's in an afternoon session which is 2.5 hours right in the middle of the day. It's fine with me though as it means she will take her nap anywhere and we don't have to be tied in to having to stay home because it's nap time.

I remember with DS1 at 13 weeks we started putting him to bed upstairs in his bedside crib at 8ish every night with the monitor set up. In the day he slept downstairs normally in his rocker as it would send him to sleep, or on me.

At 4 months I tried moving his daytime naps to his nursery with a monitor as i wanted him to be familiar to the space. It took quite a while I think for him to nap in his cot as he was so little and it seemed huge! In 2018 he slept in a sleepyhead at night in the bedside cot so I think he was used to the snugness so we ended up buying the larger sleepyhead secondhand which helped.

I moved him to his own room at 5 1/2 months I think. He was still waking in the night (he was waking in the night well over a year old!) but it worked for us and I slept so much better without the constant noise. Not for everyone I know, and I know a lot of that goes against guildlines as well.

My pram carrycot is suitable until 6mo though and is in fact much smaller than the N2M. What pram do you have to accommodate 6m+ naps @Smurf123? Do you mean a stroller seat?

DS (if he ever sleeps during the day!) naps in his carrycot during the day atm or on me. I'd like him to continue to have somewhere flat to sleep when he's too tall for his carrycot.

@Magik01 Yes, on paper some of it is against the guidelines but I'm yet to find an option that is entirely compliant! xx

Actually you may have just given me a good idea here, I've looked up and the stroller seat I have reclines fully to a flat position if needed, this might be an option xx

@Ready2020 I think I need to be restitched too but they’re so reluctant. I over did it yesterday needing to carry DD to the HV in the car seat because the children’s centre didn’t have a car park and I didn’t take the pram thinking it’ll be a 20 second walk to the centre from the car - it wasn’t!

I have a bassinet, slightly bigger than a Moses basket but smaller than a N2M and I think she’ll be out of it soon either because shell outgrow, she’s only light but long and moves loads in her sleep so is often diagonal etc or she’ll be able to roll. Im hoping from November we’ll use the cot in the nursery for biggest day time nap and use monitor, breathing monitor and stay upstairs, plus DH office is next door. But the issue we have is without taking down other furniture in the nursery we can’t move to the cot to the bedroom so thinking travel cot and buy a temp mattress, at least a travel cot will come in handy.

Has anybody ever put their LO’s on infant gaviscon? The HV has diagnosed silent reflux so i need to try and call the GP today.

@Fran919 yes ds is on gaviscon as he was very sicky after every feed. It definitely works but we only give it to him once a day right before sleep. It just thickens the milk so it’s harder to bring up I think

We use the monitor for naps already. I keep a very close eye on it and it’s close enough that I can see if he is breathing. We moved dd into her own room at about 5 months but probably should have been longer. She was a terrible sleeper so I was up and down to her room several times a night. Would have made far more sense to have her in with us. Dh is a bit of a snorer though and it was waking her up 😂

I will see how sleep goes this time as and when we move ds into his own room. I think he will outgrow the snuzpod before 6 months though and we can’t get a cot in our bedroom so I suspect that will be the determining factor.

@PurplePansy05 we have the silver cross pioneer, dd is in the carrycot atm but the the seat not fully reclines, she loves it too (ds spilt juice over the carrycot so had to wash the mattress)
I have one of the car seat blankets in the seat part of the pram, ds loved it and would only ever sleep on it, makes it lovely and soft.

Ugh we did not have a good night 😓 rather than sleeping beautifully from 8-ish, DS didn't go down until gone 11 after a massive cry fest (and the subtitles didn't work on Grand Designs so we couldn't understand a lot of what was going on with his noise!!), still woke at 2:30, and then wouldn't be put down for more than a few minutes for the rest of the night. DH had him on his chest for a long time, and now I've been up with him for a couple of hours so DH can catch up on sleep. He's become a bit of a nightmare to resettle after his first feed.

I think we'll end up moving him to his own room before 6 months as he'll outgrow the snuzpod - but so long as we get to at least 4 months I'm happy with that. Daytime naps are currently in the pram carrycot but I don't know how long that'll last as he's filling it out very rapidly!

@biscuitcat sorry but laughed at the subtitles 🤣 hopefully it was a one off and you’ll get a good sleep tonight!

Freddie didn’t sleep til after 10 the other night so we decided to miss the 11pm feed (in fear the screaming would restart)! He was then up twice during the night and I was way more tired than usual yesterday so I was determined he was getting his last feed last night! I was still up at midnight so I woke him up for a feed, he went back down easily because he was still half asleep and slept til 7 this morning 😅 6 and a half hours he slept, the longest he’s managed I think! Just wish the bit in the lead up to going to bed wasn’t so chaotic 🙈

He smiled for the first time today too and now he keeps doing it ☺️

Personally I don't see that it's essential to be in the same room with them for all sleeps until 6 months as I think this is a bit ridiculous and restrictive... yes, they should definitely share your room for the longest part of the night to begin with, but I think it's perfectly fine to put them to bed in the evening or let them nap unsupervised, provided you are following safe sleep in all other ways (cot/crib, on back, no bedding etc) once you're comfortable with it. I don't think the increase in risk is that high compared to the benefit of them getting some peace and quiet and you getting the space from them. Parental burnout is a real thing.

And as for own room for the majority of the night I would be comfortable with that in theory from 4 months as the risk of SIDS drops so much by 4 months old anyway. However for me personally I will probably keep them in with me longer as I expect night feeds to go on for a long time past 4 months. If I get a unicorn baby that sleeps through that early I may rethink! But he will be sharing with DS2 so it makes sense to wait until he's older and able to appreciate a shared bedtime routine.

I would say though that by all means use the breathing/movement monitors etc but I wouldn't use one to justify a decision you wouldn't otherwise make - e.g. if you are happy to put them in their own room anyway, then there's no reason not to do that (and use a breathing monitor if you want) but I would not use a breathing monitor as a replacement for supervision, so if you think it's not safe yet to leave them alone but it is safe with a monitor, then I would cautiously rethink that, as there's no evidence these things actually increase safety. All they can really do is give you peace of mind that nothing has happened.

@sarah13xx Could you get gates to keep the dogs in a particular room e.g. kitchen if you need to be away for longer? That may come in handy once he's crawling and toddling anyway.

I'd me interested to hear what people are doing about waking to feed if anyone wouldn't mind sharing. After LO was weighed by the HV at 2 weeks and they were happy with weight gain she advised to let her sleep/wake naturally and not to bother waking her to feed regularly.

Since then we've lost all regularity. Sometimes she'll sleep for an hour, sometimes up to 5 hours. Wake windows of anywhere from 30 minutes to 5 hours! (Last nights horror show )

I get the impression that in these long wake windows she's over feeding to compensate for the sometimes long gaps in feeding so we enter a cycle of feed, nappy change, fussiness and repeat until she's so overtired nothing will soothe her. Are you all still waking to feed?

@dirtyfries I've never waked to feed, but he's definitely putting on enough weight and doesnt tend to go longer than 3.5 hours (occasionally there's been longer)

Ouch @PurplePansy05 sounds painful! And @Fran919 and @Ready2020 hope these stitches get sorted for you, sounds so uncomfortable!

Re: monitors, we’ve been recommended a Philips one but have been looking at owlet and Nanit. Id echo what Bertie says, we didn’t buy any breathing mats etc because I was worried we’d be relying on tech rather than instinct. I kinda worry a fancy monitor might also give me a false sense of security and I’d go in and check on him less?

I always said he’d stay in our room longer than 6 months but he is such a loud sleeper!!! Unless he quietens down he’ll he leaving on the nose of 6 months as I think we’ll sleep so much better. I hadn’t thought about daytime naps, he sleeps anywhere really but we put him into the nest which I’m sure he’ll outgrow quite soon. The next to me we can easily move in the living room, hopefully he has a few months left out of that…!

It’s irritates me he’ll be outgrowing all this expensive stuff and we’ll need to buy more expensive stuff to replace it with 😂

We only wake to feed late in the evening when it looks like he’ll miss his last feed, as we don’t want to wake up at night but we’ve only done this once, we’re lucky he’s still sleeping in through til 6am! But he’s never lost weight so hadnt needed to worry about that.

@dirtyfries if you’re trying to get her to sleep could you do nappy change before feed? That’s what we always did we found a nappy change really woke up him up, he was more likely to sleep straight after a feed. During the day my one is still feeding pretty much every 3 hours, have you ever had that sort of regularity? If you have I’d be inclined to wake her up to feed to try and get back into that?

We’ve just booked a long time weekend in the Cotswolds for next month… not sure if this is bad idea!!!!!

@dirtyfries we only wake to feed for the dream feed at 10pm. In terms of wake windows we don’t let him go longer than 2 hours as an absolute maximum. After 1.5hrs we try and get him down for a sleep otherwise he enters overtired territory and getting him to sleep becomes very difficult indeed.