August 2021 Babies - Final evictions and the fourth trimester

[BertieBotts]

Time for a new thread! :)

29 gorgeous new babies have joined us already, welcome to the world 💖💙🥳

@Smurf123 - Welcome to the world, baby Sophia 💖
@wimbler - Welcome to the world, baby boy 💙
@Jessicapebbles - Welcome to the world, baby Ebony💖
@Inmypjsagain - Welcome to the world, baby boy💙
@PurplePansy05 - Welcome to the world, baby Leo Alexander 💙
@WinterBabyof89 - Welcome to the world, baby Rosie 💖
@Winecoffeeteamum - Welcome to the world, baby Emily 💖
@Ready2020 - Welcome to the world, baby Rowan 💖
@Magik01 - Welcome to the world, baby Isaac 💙
@Hoares3 - Welcome to the world, baby Ellis 💙
@Daffodil21 - Welcome to the world, baby Elliot James 💙
@sarah13xx - Welcome to the world, baby Freddie 💙
@MrsB2019x - Welcome to the world, baby Ella💖
@Biscuitcat - Welcome to the world, baby Rowan 💙
@Whatshouldbemyusername - Welcome to the world, baby Arya-Nyah 💖
@notinthestarsigns - Welcome to the world, baby Erin 💖
@Aaaaa1519 - Welcome to the world, baby Anum 💖
@Angelesque - Welcome to the world, baby Isaac 💙
@Millymay13 - Welcome to the world, baby Ethan Benjamin 💙
@WolfMother326 - Welcome to the world, baby Alasdair William 💙
@BertieBotts - Welcome to the world, baby Alexander 💙
@RandomCatGenerator - Welcome to the world, baby Solomon 💙
@lucyrp - Welcome to the world, baby Evelyn Rose 💖
@HopefulB - Welcome to the world, baby Chloé 💖
@Mmr224 - Welcome to the world, baby Alasdair 💙
@Smallbean27 - Welcome to the world, baby boy 💙
@Fran919 - Welcome to the world, baby girl 💖
@Caz1226 - Welcome to the world, baby Dougie 💙
@Ava50x - Welcome to the world, baby boy 💙
@dirtyfries - Welcome to the world, baby Frankie! 💖

Counting down until till they welcome their munchkins:

@Dia12 - EDD 8 August, Girl 💖
@livingwithbees - EDD 16 August, surprise 💛
@Sheisfee - EDD 19 August, Girl 💖
@Alittlexmasmagic - EDD 22 August, surprise 💛
@LottSE20 - EDD 22 August, surprise 💛
@ame88 - EDD 28 August, Girl 💖

@Daffodil21 oh goodness about the pipes! That looks grim! At least you’ve realised sooner rather than later.

In terms of weight, pre pregnancy I was roughly 50kg, end of pregnancy was about 64/65kg and I’m currently about 57kg. I would like to loose a little more but no rush!

@Fran919 no we're not! We never even have to descale our kettle here!

That's a very good point re iron, Bertie. They won't do a routine blood test at my GP surgery due to the national shortage of tubes (have you heard about this? Is it the same in Germany? I suspect not!) I have been forgetting to take my multivitamin though, I need to be better at taking it xx

@BertieBotts really ?? If it means meeting my daughter or son at the end of it and experiencing that with my OH then I would 100%. Can't say I enjoyed the pain aspect but the experience as a whole was as nice as it could have been

@RandomCatGenerator wow that’s amazing!!!

@PurplePansy05 yeah I think it’s a sign maybe I’m doing too much. I have my 6 week check up call next week (at 7 weeks) so I’ll mention it then. But I can always tell when my bleeding will get heavier depending on the amount of exercise the day before. Same point with the dummy here, he’ll spit it out when hungry too, it’s quite a good tell! The weakness, a lot of mine is down to a drop in fitness I think. Pre pandemic I was at the gym several times a week, doing spin, saw a PT to help with weights, that obviously stopped in lockdown and then I had such bad nausea and PGP when pregnant that I wouldn’t waddle far. I’m not breastfeeding now, could be cs linked because your tummy muscles are cut so core isn’t as strong which makes lugging around our bodies harder? (And I’m 2 stone heavier say, than I was before, so it’s generally harder?) also re anaemia, I was prescribed 2 months worth of 200mg ferrous fumerate when I left hospital, same stuff you can buy at the pharmacy without a prescription, if you want to self medicate!

@BertieBotts that’s a great weight gain! Clearly feeding well

@Daffodil21 Argh I had seen reviews saying this so we’ve been looking at ours and it seems okay for now, but we’ll keep checking!

@sarah13xx yeah I’ve heard that with the dummy, waking up to put in! Baby spits his out in the night and falls asleep without it, it’s mainly when he’s crying. I do give it to him for a comfort suck as he’s not breastfeeding but it sends him off to sleep quite often, but he won’t not sleep without it if that makes sense. I think If I saw signs of an addiction I’d try and wean him off 😂 our dr also said it’s good for refluxy babies

@Ready2020 I know what you mean about the feeling weak. I do think some of my nct judged when I said I wanted an elective, I was the only one with an elective, of the other 7, 5 had emergency sections, 2 had vaginal births- both with tears that got infected and 1 has bladder spasms and had a 2 week stay in hospital as she kept wetting herself 🤷🏼‍♀️ I’ve had the smoothest recovery of all of them touch wood obviously benefit of hindsight and it’s all done now, but it’s a shame people judge that could potentially impact our preferences!

Sorry 200mg of ferrous sulphate x

I think the issue with a vaginal birth is how completely different each one can be, and there's no way to predict beforehand how it will go. Whereas an elective section will be (bar anything very unexpected) the same every time. I'm in awe of those of you who have had C sections though as I have such a phobia of surgery! I've never had an epidural for the same reason, the thought of the needle going into my spine is worse for me than the contractions. But neither of my labours were very long, I suspect I would get over my fear if I'd been in labour for a few days.

Definitely the first two weeks were really rough recovery wise though. I feel like that would be the case anyway though, as your body has basically been wrung out providing for a baby for 9 months.

Am I the only one who didn't feel weak or anything negative about asking for an elective CS? 🙈

I personally don't think it matters how it's done, as long as it's done safely and the mother and baby is healthy and happy that's all that matters. I mean happy with how the birth went.

We all did well, no matter how!

@afictionado exactly, it’s a total lottery! And I was really scared for the surgery and epidural but I was more scared of a vaginal birth so am in awe of that!

@Daffodil21 I felt I had to Justify myself with the hospital but it was fine, but I did feel judged by people in general. I agree who cares how the baby got here, as long as they did!

When I mentioned to OH about maybe getting a c section instead When I was late on in pregnancy he just got annoyed at the money I spent on the hypnobirthing course!

I think I've realised the issue with my birth. I thought I had prepared for pretty much everything but I had to have my water broken by the midwife and nothing had prepared me for how fast and painful contractions could come after that. It just completely knocked me and panicked me and made me lose focus completely. Before that I was dealing with the situation ok and felt the hypnobirthing techniques were helping. If contractions had been slower leading up to the big ones I think my experience may have been better. I'd still need cut probably.... I went from 4 cm to baring down in the space of an hour I think.

@Daffodil21 haha nope I’m in your camp, I ended up being so worried about the actual operation that I was so proud of myself after it I didn’t care who knew it was a section. I even said in my social media posts when I announced he had arrived that it had been a c-section! I had a friend who was due the week after me and I kind of hid my views/fears of a vaginal birth from her so I didn’t put her off or worry her but she ended up in hospital for 3 days, in labour for 2 days then rushed for an emergency section. Her recovery is now rougher because she had all the contractions and pushing before the section. She’s said she’ll 100% be having an elective section next time round. I try not to sound too smug saying how calm and uneventful mine was 🙈

@Daffodil21 omg the tommee tippee machine! I got a new one for downstairs and a second hand one for upstairs. I put a new filter in it and cleaned it all but I haven’t taken the back off. I need to check it immediately 😳

Some people probably quietly judged me at the time too, but I don't particularly care - not everyone is aware of my story and complications and that's fine, no need to know my full medical history. And as you've said, the baby is here safely and I'm ok with my choice, it was a positive birth experience.

But the funny thing now is, every single person now says omg, you've recovered so well, you look great, it's amazing after such major surgery, etc, etc. Everyone is suddenly full of admiration. I had to tell my dentist the other day that I'm on antibiotics post CS and she asked me three times if I said CS and to confirm the date and she kept saying how she couldn't believe how fantastic I look and move after this. Then she also said I look 25 which has totally made my day (I'm 35) Obviously she was very kind, but what I'm getting at is that somehow I've moved on from the ELCS stigma to 'oh, haven't you done well'.

My conclusion is, birth, feeding and everything else baby-related are personal choices and people's perceptions change. And at the end of the day, they don't actually matter.

@Ready2020 obviously I can't fully relate to this, but what you wrote now has reminded me of how I was working through one of my MCs and had exactly the same issue of super strong, unexpected contractions and pain after medication. I ended up traumatised as a result of this and few other things and if was so important to pin point what the issue was and to go through it in my head again to get over how I was feeling after. I don't know how bad it was for you, but it's a very positive thing that you've identified it now and that you talk about it. xx

Oh I wasn't being rude about my birth I was just trying to show that sometimes natural births can be nice! I know for a fact if I had to have been induced there's no way I would have had a good time and would have ended up with an assisted delivery and tears etc the lot. I was so scared of a C section and of an epidural so like you say in awe of people who chose that too

DDs failure to sleep has now moved to night time too. I'm so shit at this. I've no clue what to do for her when my boob doesn't work. It always works before but now she's even crying on that. I don't think it's digestive issues. She doesn't spir up and burps after most feedings. I feel I'm also starting bad habits with feeding her to sleep and the use of the dummy is really starting to be seen as I'm sick of having to put it back in her mouth but she uses it to settle I've decided to ban the dummy for tonight.

I'm really hating this just now

@lucyrp Natural birth can be lovely, as you've experienced. Which is great! 😊But it's not guaranteed. My friend has had four children and she had a dream birth with her third child and then a nightmare one with her fourth. All spontaneous labours. And while obviously the most important thing is that baby and mother survive the experience, regardless of how the baby arrived, I don't think that's the only thing that matters -- PTSD from a traumatic birth isn't an ideal outcome.

Just deleted a massive rant about how society should stop judging people on their method of baby delivery. 😅 I'll keep it at just the one paragraph.

@Ready2020 That really sucks, some days/nights are so long and difficult. I find the newborn stage such a grind. You're not a bad parent if you don't enjoy this! The inconsolable crying is so hard to cope with, I'm always at a loss when even breastfeeding doesn't work. Hang in there. ❤️ I know there's a lot written about how feeding to sleep is a rod for your own back etc etc but honestly if it's working, why fix what isn't broken? If it starts being a problem later on you can change it. I miss feeding DS1 to sleep, after he weaned bedtime went from five minutes to an hour. 😂

Sorry, another lengthy post! Full of opinions today. 😬

@Ready2020 Your DD is very similar age to my DS now (I mean they all are, but we have just days difference). You definitely don't suck at this. I had that crisis point last week and it sounds exactly like you've described. Boob didn't always work, I had days when he'd scream at my boob in his mouth instead of latching on, who can understand this?! 🤷🏼‍♀️ Tbh, we're still more or less going through it. My son definitely needs comfort now and I had to hold him regularly after feeds these days as he's happiest on me, at my boob hanging out, not nursing, but just cuddled up. And it is what it is. It's bloody tiring! And you're stuck. But you're not a rubbish mum. If it helps, 6-8 weeks is supposed to be another growth spurt and I feel like we're definitely there.

If you want to try a dummy, go for it. It's not evil if you manage it right and it reduces the risk of SIDS as we were saying on the earlier thread. It will give you 5-10 mins to cool down and collect your thoughts - priceless.

There are pros and cons of everything - we won't judge you. If anyone else does, it's their problem, they literally do not walk in your shoes right now. Do what you think is right for you and your DD. xx

@Inmypjsagain I think that might be it re core muscles. It's like my core has weakened and doesn't hold the rest of my body as well as it should, I feel like my midriff is being pulled down to the ground a bit sometimes when I walk, it's hard to explain. I wonder if my muscles need to rebuild after the pregnancy and CS, ultimately that's where they pulled him out from, I felt that (although it was pain free under spinal, it surely must have had some impact). Early BF errors have possibly made it worse too, before I've worked out mine and his body positioning. DS is also getting heavier now too, I wonder if this sleeping on me/carrying him business is having an impact too xx

Don’t know what I did to deserve him but Freddie slept since the 11pm feed and only woke at 5.30 there 😭 I woke up all confused that I’d missed the 3am feed but no, he’d slept right through it! I mean he did go 6 hours yesterday with barely a 30 minute nap and plenty of crying but I’ll happily take it all for a good nights sleep 😂

@Ready2020 oh no, hope you got some sleep in the end up 😩 It’s probably just a phase she’s going through. Does white noise or anything work for her?

Whether she slept or not I managed a sleep from 4 to 6 ish! I guess she slept as I would hear her cry. I ended up with white noise blaring from my phone but no dummy.

@PurplePansy05 it seems like a forever growth spurt! She's 5 weeks and 3 days now so would fit that. I think it's just the forever changing of their habits. I think I've got it but then she stops sleeping during the day or only poops once in a 24 hour period (I'm convinced the odd bit of formula we give has slowed her system). I'm just crap with change. I'm totally the sort that would like my life with the same routine every day!

I also feel like my brain is like- you've had 5 whole weeks, you should be great at this already. If it were 5 weeks into a job I'd be killing it by now.

@afictionado I probably need to stop Googling at night! Reading what's apparently right or wrong.

@Ready2020 Definitely step away from Google! And parenting books. I spent the first 6 months ish of DS1's life stressing that I was doing everything wrong because of everything I was reading, and then at some point he started consolidating his naps and put himself into a routine with no effort on my part. He was such hard work as a baby but turned into the gentlest, most laid back toddler. I wish I hadn't spent so much time stressing after he was born but everything's easier in hindsight! You are doing amazingly, this is more like starting a job where the requirements change every week but you get no warning or training. 😂

Bsbies are little people though, you can't look at it in the same way as getting a new job @Ready2020. They do what they feel like doing and at some point you'll be able to negotiate with them and they will also learn more, but I think our lives will now be that - adapting ourselves to them and how they change. I'd like to think it will be much easier once they can communicate better with us.xx

@Daffodil21

I've just opened up the tommee tippee machine and it is filthy. I feel so so bad we've been feeding him from this!!

This is the water pipe!

This is v concerning @Daffodil21. Did you run a cleaning cycle before using it? Also how did you get to that pipe - what part did you take off the back to be able to see it?