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Connect with mums-to-be with similar due dates to share experiences and support.

Due August 2021 - the final countdown!

980 replies

Daffodil21 · 09/07/2021 22:31

Continuation of the previous thread.

All newcomers welcome!

Not long now!!!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
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12
WolfMother326 · 12/07/2021 12:15

Thanks for the new thread! And welcome to all the new people. I'm excited that we're getting so close! Can't wait to start seeing posts about everyone having their babies.

I was feeling relatively good until the past few days, now at 35weeks and I have zero energy and a lot of aches and pains. Last night I felt dizzy and out of breath after a day out (we walked a lot around some gardens but nothing too strenuous). Then in the evening before bed I had what felt like a contraction? Starting at the top of my uterus a tightening pain went down and all around my sides. It was stop you in your tracks type of pain, but only one of them, and when I sat down it went off. Very odd!

@PurplePansy05 I haven't checked through the previous pages very carefully but last time I was on here I saw you were struggling with the midwife and the new GD diet, I hope it's all going ok.

Also, if the list gets updated again, I am having a boy :) our suprise didn't work out, I saw too much on the ultrasound and then couldn't keep it a secret.

Ava50x · 12/07/2021 12:19

@BertieBotts thanks for giving me hope! Hoping that anterior placenta won't automatically mean posterior baby. Quite scared of that...

@Daffodil21 thanks for the new thread! I'm so happy for you you're feeling good at this stage. Quite jealous too!

BertieBotts · 12/07/2021 13:39

Posterior/back labour can be more painful supposedly yes - but I've had at least one and possibly two and I did both without pain relief so definitely not completely insurmountable if that's your goal! I found gas and air really helpful with DS1, wished I had it with DS2, will ask for it this time. I think what it actually is, is that it causes the pain to be different, which makes standard ways of trying to cope with it redundant and this is the problem, if you don't know your baby is back to back or whoever is supporting you is unaware of tips to manage this. So it helps to know how to identify it, and if you do identify it, how to manage it and why the advice is different than for a standard labour.

The first thing to be aware of is apparently it's extremely common for babies to be posterior before labour, but turn once they engage in your pelvis, so don't panic and think everything is going to be terrible just because your baby is posterior at 35/36 weeks. And again even if your baby is posterior when you go into labour, don't panic and assume it means doom. It's manageable, it just means you need different techniques.

I'm planning to ask at all my later appointments and also when I get to hospital in labour what position they think the baby is in. Your midwife should be able to tell by feeling your uterus. You can also get the hang of how to feel this yourself! The baby's back feels very obvious once you get to the last few weeks if it's pressed up anywhere towards the front, and it's also helpful to think about where you get the most kicks as this is normally opposite to where their back is facing. Baby's back to your left side (LOA = left occiput anterior) is apparently the most common position and you'll feel a hard solid mass there - that's your baby's back. A pointy sticking out bit can be a head or bum. Smaller sticking out bits that move or "poke" in response to anything touching them are likely arms or feet.

If you know you want an epidural then it doesn't matter too much what position your baby is in. These tips are more for if you're planning to go unmedicated, haven't decided, or want to hold off on pain relief until later on in labour for example. That's why I'm comparing them to "normal" unmedicated labour tips.

Normal position progression of labour:
Early labour (1-4cm ish) tends to go slowly in first time mums anyway. Can be 12+ hours or even multiple days, although may be shorter. Don't worry - the majority of this will be absolutely fine and manageable and you may not even be sure whether you're in labour. Rest, sleep, eat, try not to get excited and tell everyone/use up all your energy. Towards the end of this stage, things can start to get tricky especially if it's been really long and/or you haven't slept, but generally if your baby is in a good position then things starting to get more intense, contractions becoming more frequent/regular likely means that you've moved into the active stages (4-10cm).

If you've spontaneously laboured before, you can expect your early labour to be shorter than the previous time/s. Some people say it's roughly halved each time - I think that's an extremely rough estimate, but there does seem to be a tendency for this stage to shorten with each birth.

During early and active labour, the pointy part of baby's head (the crown) is directly pushing on the top of your cervix. This causes every contraction to put pressure on the cervix which helps it to open. You don't have a lot of nerves in your cervix, so this pressure doesn't cause pain. You will still of course have the pain of contractions. Because the baby is above the cervix, gravity REALLY helps! You want to be upright as much as possible. All of the standard tips about massage, movement, water, affirmations/mental images "down baby", TENS etc can really help.

As you get into the later stages (cervix fully dilated), the baby will come down into the birth canal with each contraction and the back of baby's head pushing on your rectum causes you to push like you're desperate for a poo, which in turn helps the baby to come out.

Posterior labour progression:
The pointy part of the baby's head is not putting any pressure on the cervix. The cervix will open anyway, because the contractions and hormones of birth will cause this to happen, but the baby's head isn't helping, which causes the early stage in particular to be longer - the 12+ hours / several days scenario is more likely. Instead, the head is pointing directly into the inside of the small of your back. This causes contractions to feel different with the pain in a different place, perhaps in your back, perhaps radiating down your legs, perhaps all over your body. Gravity/being upright/on your back will make this feel worse. Instead, you want to be on all fours, leaning forward over something, or lying on your left side. This helps gravity take the weight away from your back and reduces the pressure on your spine. Spending time in a hot shower or leaning over a birth ball can really help. TENS might not help or might need to be in a slightly different position to normal. Because it can be hard to rest during this stage compared with "normal" labour, you might become discouraged or tired before you get into the active stage (4+cm)

You will probably need a lot of encouragement/support to get through a longer first stage. Try the old "paracetamol and a bath" (or even co-codamol if you're OK to take it) as rest is likely to be quite important for conserving energy. If you want to sleep (a good idea!) try lying on your side with a pillow between your legs. If things are getting unmanageable and you want pain relief, be prepared to argue for it even if you are not yet the "magic" 4cm. Sometimes because of the indirect pressure on the cervix, the active stage of labour can go much faster, meaning you're not 4cm for ages so "not allowed" an epidural and then all of a sudden you're 9/10cm and it's "too late". So if you know or suspect your baby is back to back and you're really struggling and want pain relief but aren't yet 4cm, be prepared to argue this as a reason, and/or prep your birth partner to do that on your behalf! Or you may be able to have something like pethidine to get you over that hump.

Also, if you're stuck in the early stages for a very long time and you're struggling to cope, what has often happened is that your body has gone into a kind of stress mode, which then feeds back into itself and can cause a vicious circle of stress > panic > not coping > more pain > stress > panic > etc. So whatever you can do to interrupt that and bring yourself back to a mindset that you can cope will often help things start to move on. Again, this might be more useful info for your birth partner than for yourself. For me, with DC1 that was a decision to go into hospital and have pethidine. With DC2, it was asking for an epidural and getting through the process of having it put in, which I was anxious about. In both cases, actually I never got that pain relief I asked for (just flukes) but the thought that I would soon get some relief soon helped my body relax, which helped things to start moving. So whether this is a meditation technique, some kind of pep talk, a change of scenery, a clear and concrete decision to take some pain relief, it doesn't matter at all. Whatever gets you out of that cycle will help things move on.

Active stages is basically the same - leaning over / all fours is likely to be better than upright. Being in a birthing pool can REALLY help because of the weightlessness aspect. Again if you get into a stress/panic/fear/pain cycle, break that cycle. Have pain relief if you need it. It can actually help the baby to turn or things to move on by relaxing you.

In the later stages, because the baby's head is the wrong way around, the back of it will be pushing on your rectum at an earlier stage than it would if it was the front of the head, meaning your body may start to uncontrollably push before the baby is as far into the birth canal. You may be asked/told to stop pushing as you still have a cervical lip. If your body is pushing for you, this can feel really hard to do! You can use your mouth to help with this. Instead of pushing you can do a long slow blow outwards when you get the urge (in hypnobirthing this is called "breathing the baby down" or "down breathing") or if this doesn't help, making your lips soft and relaxed will help relax your body/cervix. So make a kind of "harrumph" sound like a horse, or a "brrrrr" sound like a telephone/shivering noise, when you get this urge and it can help it to pass and your baby to come down past that lip at which point you can push as much as you like! Gas and air can also help. Being upright/on back is no longer a problem as the cervix is now opened, but moving between contractions if your midwife can help can be really beneficial.

Cheat sheet / summary

  • Early stage (1-4cm) likely to be longer and less able to ignore than normal. Rest on side with pillow between legs. Take paracetamol/co-codamol.
  • Avoid upright/lying on back positions. Seek out forward leaning/all-fours positions/water.
  • If getting into a pain/fear/exhaustion/panic cycle, change location and/or ask for pain relief.
  • Be prepared to argue for "earlier" pain relief than normal, or consider medium-acting pain relief like pethidine which wears off after a few hours.
  • Pushing urge can come too early. Relax mouth and/or use gas and air to stop pushing. Blowing or "brrrrrr" sound/lip movement.
  • Move/get up/change position during the final stage in order to help baby come "around the corner". You'll probably need help or support to do this.
  • If baby turns during labour you can revert to "standard" coping techniques.
Aaaaa1519 · 12/07/2021 15:41

@ava50x I’ve got an anterior placenta too and baby is in the right position for birth so hopefully you’ll be ok too

Inmypjsagain · 12/07/2021 16:12

@Whatshouldbemyusername and @Ready2020 I’ll report back on the pain! Looks like itll be end of this week though cos between physio and midwife I have hospital appointments every day this week 🤨

@biscuitcat thank you, I’m gonna bite the bullet! And yes to baby brain but I’m convinced I’ve had it since I was 8 weeks gone 😂

@PurplePansy05 ah so your DS will be here and you’ll find his scan photos, I’ll be interested to hear where they got packed!! Hope the nct meet up is good 😊

@BertieBotts I’ve said this before but you really need to write a book! Such helpful posts x

Inmypjsagain · 12/07/2021 16:13

Oh and I should have asked, @lucyrp did you go in the hospital for movements or did baby start raving later in the day?

lucyrp · 12/07/2021 16:19

@Inmypjsagain baby started having their own disco later on so I didn't want to waste their time, I do think my movements have changed slightly though as they seem to be less erratic maybe due to the lack of space

livingwithbees · 12/07/2021 16:31

@BertieBotts I love that summary, bloody fantastic, I’m going to include your cheat sheet in my bag for DH to read! I’ve read the whole thing twice already and it’s already made me feel better 😊

livingwithbees · 12/07/2021 16:33

I’ve just started with the raspberry leaf tea and clary sage oil on order - has anyone ever had much success with either? Clary sage did sweet FA with my first but the smell is nice and might as well try anything not to go over once I get to the right date!

Whatshouldbemyusername · 12/07/2021 16:55

@BertieBotts this is absolutely amazing!!! Oh My God this is so helpful. As @livingwithbees said it's going to make such a difference. Thank you. Xxx

biscuitcat · 12/07/2021 16:58

@BertieBotts you're a genius, don't know what we'd do without you!

@livingwithbees I've started on raspberry leaf capsules (as I'm not wild on herbal tea) and dates, planning on clary sage once I'm a bit closer to the due date as a friend swore it got her labour going more or less immediately!

livingwithbees · 12/07/2021 17:08

@biscuitcat I wish I’d thought of that, currently reminding myself why I wasn’t impressed with it last time!
I went to buy clary sage from a shop in town today and was advised that it was £39 for a 10ml bottle or 17p per drop 😱 I’ve ordered a £5 10ml bottle online instead 😂 I’ve heard varying reports, last time I had it in a diffuser, bathed it in and massaged it in every day/night with nothing to show for it, my friend had a single sniff and went into labour almost immediately 😂

Inmypjsagain · 12/07/2021 17:08

I’m not deliberately not taking anything potentially inducing because I want a c section and this is still in the process of being sorted… I was horrified when I found out dates can bring on birth!!! My midwife did start telling me to drink raspberry leaf tea from 36 weeks but that’s tomorrow and I don’t want to risk it!

@lucyrp glad baby moving around!

lucyrp · 12/07/2021 17:14

@livingwithbees started raspberry leaf tea at 36 weeks and DS was born at 38+5. Told my friend to try it and she started it same time and her little boy was born at 38 weeks. I also know someone who's clary sage arrived at 36 weeks and she sniffed it and went into labour that night 🙈🤣

BertieBotts · 12/07/2021 17:21

It was making me SO anxious so that's what I've been working on the last couple of weeks, kind of making myself a plan and working out what helped/what didn't help the previous times.

Of course it may all go out of the window when I'm in labour.

Got a lot of info from "Birth Skills" by Juju Sundin (which I really recommend - the Posterior chapter is near the end, skip to it if you're worried about that) and this video:

When I spoke to DH about trying to support me through the earlier stages, he had a different memory to me. He said I was actually pretty lucid and coping really well right up to the point that I was panicking about getting the epidural, and remembered me using loads of techniques which I recognised from Birth Skills.

wimbler · 12/07/2021 17:24

@livingwithbees that’s ridiculous! I got mine from a website called Nikura which was really affordable and free postage. I bought some other ones too but interested to see if clary sage does anything! Might try a few baths with it.

My rented tens machine arrived too, really impressed with the speed. I’ve been drinking raspberry leaf tea for the past week. Caught My husband drinking it the other day too which gave me a good giggle. Had to explain to him what it was! Got some pineapple in the fridge too. Will try everything this time round😂

@BertieBotts you really are a fountain of useful information!!!

Ava50x · 12/07/2021 17:25

@BertieBotts thanks for your incredibly useful and helpful post! I think what makes me most concerned/worried about a posterior baby is that I've had 3 lovely and pretty quick waterbirths. I'm scared of having early labour take hours and hours... I guess I'll just have to take note of all you've said, its interesting that standard positions and stuff don't help with a posterior baby, I would never have thought! My sister had a posterior baby and the labour wasn't necessarily long but the pushing stage was long and the crowning even longer! So maybe that also is putting me off the whole thing??!!

@Aaaaa1519 thanks for telling me that! Honestly hoping mine won't be posterior either...

PurplePansy05 · 12/07/2021 17:29

Aw something has gone to pot and I can't copy the list to update it like I used to, sorry girls. Will try tomorrow. I am just back from the hospital for reduced movements, DH couldn't take me and because parking at antenatal is so rubbish I had to park at work and pay for taxis 🤦🏼‍♀️ Anyway, I got there and back in the end...DS is fine, although his HR seemed higher than ever before at CTG. He also went out of reach of the machine and it wasn't picking him up, alarms went off, omg, honestly 🤦🏼‍♀️

@WolfMother326 Thanks lovely, struggling a bit now, they've doubled my dose of Metformin and I am a living Micky Flanagan joke ("the shits", if anyone is familiar). I actually feel like I've lost weight, I'm scared to eat and then it cleanses me anyway, sorry for TMI. This next appointment and the date for the C-sec cannot come soon enough!

I hope you're all feeling well ladies xx

Inmypjsagain · 12/07/2021 17:38

@PurplePansy05 oh that’s so scary, how high did his heart rate go? It’s amazing the panic the baby moving away can cause, I freaked out when I saw a heartbeat of 155, down to 120… down to 80… baby moved and it was my heart rate- alarm going off- heart rate shoots back up but it was mine in the panic! The midwives had a laugh but it was my first time on the machine and I didnt know what was happening, thought the worst! So glad your boy is fine though, but what a stress, did they suggest a scan or anything? My midwife told me that if you go in for reduced movements more than 3 times they offer an induction- don’t know if that was her trying to put me off?!? Movements definitely different for me the last week, less vicious and more rolling! Also sorry about the tummy issues 😬 does not sound fun…!!

BertieBotts · 12/07/2021 17:40

Clary Sage is really strong! Be careful with it. I've just ordered some raspberry leaf tea.

Inmypjsagain · 12/07/2021 17:44

My hormones are raging at the moment, I think. I’m feeling unnaturally cross at reading threads with people saying along the lines of, you chose to get pregnant in a pandemic, what were you thinking? Yabu to worry about restrictions lifting if you chose to ttc in a pandemic. As if life is that simple 🤨 time to step away from the internet 😂

livingwithbees · 12/07/2021 17:48

@lucyrp wow that’s making it sound promising!

@PurplePansy05 oh gosh, really hoping you get your date soon, that sounds like a rough day.

livingwithbees · 12/07/2021 17:54

@Inmypjsagain

My hormones are raging at the moment, I think. I’m feeling unnaturally cross at reading threads with people saying along the lines of, you chose to get pregnant in a pandemic, what were you thinking? Yabu to worry about restrictions lifting if you chose to ttc in a pandemic. As if life is that simple 🤨 time to step away from the internet 😂
It’s awful isn’t it, where does it stop though? If it wasn’t the pandemic it would be ‘what are you thinking getting pregnant and not thinking of the planet’ I’m sure! I get the raging hormones, DH suggested pushing dinner time back half an hour last night and I was so irrationally angry at him that I had to sit in a different room for 15 minutes to avoid cry-shouting at him at what a ridiculous idea that was 😂
BertieBotts · 12/07/2021 17:58

So I think what happens in the pushing stage when the baby is posterior is that you get the urge to push earlier than you should do, and that causes it to seem to take longer, because you're spending time pushing when it's not actually doing anything because the baby is still too high up to benefit from it and/or stuck behind the last little lip of cervix. (Actually, I was listening to a podcast the other day which suggested that the whole "cervical lip" thing is a bit of a myth which was interesting, but I've stuck to conventional wisdom for my notes!) So in addition to this extra period of pushing time, by the time the baby has come down into the proper position you're really tired and it's harder to push effectively which probably makes the actual productive bit of pushing take longer too.

But the crowning/pushing stage can take a long time with FTMs regardless. I know with DS1 it took ages and loads of pushes/contractions for his head to come out whereas with DS2 they wanted me to slow down and seemed quite worried that I would tear, whereas I cared more about not pushing for ages, so I gave it everything I had and he was out in two pushes.

If it's your first time and pushing/crowning taking a long time sounds scary don't worry too much about that, because crowning slowly is supposed to help you stretch a bit more slowly, be less painful and reduce the risk/severity of tearing.

PurplePansy05 · 12/07/2021 17:58

@Inmypjsagain His HR was in excess of 170 today which I thought was high, previously it would reach 150-160ish. But the OAU was happy with it. It was my third time, however they released me and said that's because it was the first time since my last scan. In any event my next scan is this Weds, just shy of 36 wks. It looks like I'll be spending most of Weds in hospital with various appointments but I just want to get this done and have a date in the diary now.

I don't even bother with reading these threads cause after the MCs they really wind me up. All I want to say to these people is that I'd have had an 18 month old by now had things gone my way, so they better get off their high horses 🙄. Just ignore them, lovely, they don't understand how things work. xx