IVF Graduates due Late 2021/Early 2022

[BambiOnIce80]

Hi ladies 👋 I'm tentatively setting up a thread for those of us who have made the scary leap from infertility to a BFP and still need a hand hold from others who get it 🤝

I'm only 4+4 and already worrying that the BFP is too good to be true (I've had a previous MMC at 10+5, so that bitter experience doesn't help). Would love the company of other warrior ladies to go through the ups and downs of this emotional roller coaster for as long as it lasts 🎢

@Bella1984 and @PT8998, tagging you ladies on the hope that you'll join me 💗

@OM82

I am 36 so I'm not in the over 40s club yet or even close haha 😉 I am 37 in July.

Some info from us @BambiOnIce80

Clinic want to charge us £480 for the Harmony blood screening test for chromosomal abnormalities such as Down syndrome . . . At 36 I am not in the at risk group (38+) so I politely told them to go and take a long walk off a short pier 🤣 the consultant thinks I'm mad haha not arsed they can swing for any more of our hard earned pennies!!! We have decided not to get it, its not clinically indicated and for me would just cause undue stress that we don't need, you've all been through ivf it's one hurdle after another, why put one there you don't need to! That's my opinion on it. If the NHS offers you slightly more mature ladies it for free I personally would go for it, but again that's a very personal choice xx

Our scan wasn't done by a consultant it was a nurse / sonographer who honestly was lovely but not very knowledgeable at all. She was in her 50s so not a newbie or junior either!

She couldn't answer any of mh questions to the point she had to go and get a senior consultant for me - how poor is that for the most important scan of your life?!

Anyway we got 7/7 in terms of perfect 7 week USS:

Foetus in the uterus
Correct gestational development at 7 weeks
Perfect size of 0.8cm for 7 weeks
Strong foetal heart beat
One well formed yolk sac
No fluid on my ovaries (remember I had 6lbs after EC!!!)

We didn't get 4 lovely scan pictures which we are delighted with. However we wee told in our app letter we would get an image and audio of the heartbeat, which we did not. The nurse said she was using one of the older machines. I did well to bite my tongue ladies! 😤 . . .

The most interesting & useful thing the very arrogant & nonchalant consultant told us today (he did one USS for me this cycle & was a total dick so I don't like him at all, of course he had to be on today, it really is a consultant lottery at my clinic. Some superb, some woeful and some just arrogant twats!) Anyway he was an NHS consultant in fertility until a few years ago. He asked if we were on the NHS list if we hoped to have a future sibling (which we do, I am one of 5, 2 sisters a half brother & a half sister, my DH is an only child but has adopted my family as his own!)
I said yes we are on the list, referred in 2019, but explained when I told them I was 7wks pregnant they said OK then you're discharged. He said that's a disgrace & to accept the initial consultation when they resend the letter I begged them to in July. He said go for it & stay on the list. Then it will be another 18months to 2 years here anyway until we actually get offered treatment. How bad is that?! And bear in mind we already waited nearly 2 years just to get that letter, so that would be 4 years for one free cycle. If we had waited I would then have been 40/41 for our first attempt. Like I pay the same tax as you guys do you know, it really makes me mad. I'm seriously going going write to our local MPS and government at some point (after bambino is here!) not that it will make any difference with the utter morons in power here!!! 🙄

Anyways long story short, consultant said take the app, none of their business you're pregnant! He said play the game 🤣 so that is what we fully intend to do! We've already paid 21k to get our BFP. Why should we when people here are now entitled to 2 free cycles and you guys in Scotland just across the pond get 3! It's absolutely infuriating.

Anyway I always reflect on things after and there were things we weren't happy with today from a senior NHS clinician point of view!

BUT, we are of course absolutely delighted & feel so so grateful that it went well 👶 We feel like we deserve it, but as we all know that doesn't count for much in life sometimes. . . It hasn't for me anyway!

I hope that you all have the same outcome as @BambiOnIce80 and me. It must be tough being behind us, I get that. Remeber this was not my first try, same for Bambi. We have gone through as much as anyone to get here 💪

I read a lot online but I don't use google I read medical journals. Perks of being a physio I guess! My advice would be stay away from Google like I tell my patients, knowledge is power but a little bit of knowledge is dangerous!

@Em916 @louloulemons @om82 sending positive vibes for your 7 week scans 🙏

Ps had my costume fitting today, top secret but just the best fun! Can't wait for the second fitting in a few weeks. 1950s glam bring it on!

Hope you're all soundly asleep. I had a massive power nap too BTW @BambiOnIce80
From 4.30 to 7pm! Wide awake now and eating a baked potato haha. Food is my friend 😅

Chat soon ladies, stay well 😘 xx

@Bella1984

morning! I'm awake again. 😞 hopefully I can get a couple of hours after this post.
Congrats on your scan. It's so reassuring to see all is well.

The nhs is terrible. I waited 2 years to get a referral letter too. We did get two free cycles and had our first child through them but by then I was 39! Basically started investigations at 35 and had my transfer at 39. Tried for a sibling through them which was charged at private rate - but much cheaper than a private clinic and then Covid happened so I said Sod it all went to a private clinic.

@BambiOnIce80

Thanks. Glad to know there are older women on here too. I did a double transfer thinking only one would stick a got the surprise of my life when both decided to stick. Apart from panicking as to how I'm going to afford childcare for 2 kids all is well.

@PT8998 💗💗💗 Always here if/when you come back. Thinking of you in the meantime.x

@OM82, that's why these threads are great 😊 We get to chat to other ladies who are going through the same thing and just 'get it' when others around us don't. Also helpful that some of us are in healthcare so can share anything we know with others 🤓

Double transfer success for you then @lboogy! 👯‍♀️ I really wanted the option of doing a double transfer (only to try and increase our odds of success, but if we ended up completing our family unit in one fell swoop then all the better!), but my clinic weren't having any of it 😒 I hear you about the cost thing though 💸

@Bella1984 glad that your custume fitting was fun 💃 Gutted you didn't get your little video of the bambino though - that sounded amazeballs! I don't blame you for turning down that crazy-expensive harmony test! 🤯 Ladies are only offered it here if the 12 week scan shows an increased risk of trisomy (Downs/Patau's/Edwards syndromes), regardless of age. I think the youngest I've seen with a positive screen was a 19 year old (that massively shocked me 😰). There's no point worrying about it unless the scan indicates a risk though, so I'm fully with you about not seeking it out privately 💸

Happy Friday ladies!! 🥳 Has anyone got any nice plans over the weekend?x

@bella1984 that must be so frustrating getting poor treatment especially when you've paid so much. I found the process very clinical and efficient, but with the exception of one all the nurses were really lovely. The midwife who scanned me was particularly great and just kept on saying how it was actually the day of the midwife when she did me, and I was her first appointment and I'd made her day. It wasn't really anything I'd done though, but I guess it's hard for them to give bad news.

I was nervous about twins as I had a double transfer, very mixed feelings but one is great. @lboogy my friend (also a "maturer" woman 😁) just had twins and they're all totally healthy.

I just got my covid jag letter today for next weekend! I'm still undecided, I messaged my sister in law who's a gp and she had a good read around and said no evidence of issues at all, but in the end may be next to wait to 12 weeks and not to get astra zeneca. My husband is a teacher and he texted today to say a kid in one of his classes just came back positive...

Anyway, hopefully a relaxing weekend for us (my husband also had a job interview the same day as my scan) so I think getting a coffee and cake and some time in my polytunnel with my veg plants is about as exciting as it'll get 😁 Hope you all have nice plans.

Evening ladies

Hope you're all having a nice Friday night so far?

Yes @BambiOnIce80 obviously the scan was amazing and the best news, but was a little disappointing when they told us we would get certain things and we didn't. . . Put it this way we won't be going to that clinic for any future cycles!!!

Anyway, don't need to worry about that for a few years hopefully. I could start cycle two by 38 and be done by 40 hopefully 🤞

Quiet weekend for me. Had a pedicure today which was so lovely and have am organic facial booked tomorrow. Its a friend with her own business, super safe. I wouldn't risk a busy salon atm.

Mu husband has rebooted a trip we had for Sept (cancelled due to lockdown) place called Lusty Beg its a wee island here with dog friendly cabins! Going for 2 nights at end of July all being well. Cannot wait! We had spent a small fortune on 2 weeks at a posh resort in Morocco last March, it was to be our last child free holiday but of course we never got to go. And still haven't gotten our money back FFS 😤 have any of you got a wee weekend trip/ staycation planned?

That sounds like a decent plan for the covid jab @OM82 👍 Very handy that your SIL is a GP too! 😃 When will your DH hear about the job? Coffee and cake sounds like the best way to spend the weekend at the moment ☕🍰😊

@Em916, I hope you're doing OK lovely? Is it next weekend that you make the move? I hope it's all as stress free as possible for you 🍀

@Bella1984 I love that you're thinking about cycle 2 already! 😁 The parting words of the Prof as he discharged me was that if I'm planning on using any of the 3 will still have on ice we should do it by the time I'm 45... good to know, but I think I'm going to just try and focus on getting through this one safely first! 🔮

I'd definitely go back to our clinic again (and not just because they have our frosties! ❄). They're not perfect, but I've not had a full-on bad experience in any of my cycles/transfers. The nurses excelled themselves before we left on Thursday. They could see I wasn't the typical over-joyed after the scan patient because of the MMC, and they took the time to talk about their own experiences with miscarriages (it's awful how common it is 😞) and talked through some coping techniques with me, which has probably been more helpful than a full year of counselling! They also said they want a picture of us with the baby when we send the paperwork back after delivery - I said "you must be sick of baby pictures?!" and she said it's not the picture of the baby that they want to see, but the family that they've helped create that means everything to them... I nearly had a big snotty cry at those words! 😭

Your Lusty Beg getaway (fabulous name! 😁) sounds like it will be awesome 😎 I wish places did cat friendly accommodation 😏 We have got an overnight dinner, bed and breakfast thing booked at a fancy hotel for DP's birthday mid-June, but that's it so far. Going to use that to see how I feel about booking anything else. We'd ideally like to go see DP's family in Italy, but I can't see that happening this year 🦠 Not sure I'd be comfortable flying while pregnant either - I know people do with no problem but I have a couple of friends that had total horror stories that put me off taking the (small) risk. Might push the boat out and travel as far as Norfolk to see my folks if I get past 20 weeks, but that's about it 😏

Enjoy your Saturday's ladies, whatever you're up to.x

@BambiOnIce80

You sound unbelievably lucky with your clinic! And that's NHS? Mind blown. I might be flying to Ed for our next cycle, stay with my brother for a few months! Not even joking it's terrible here. . .

Well unfortunately I'm not lucky enough to have even a single embryo on ice after 2 cycles and 15 fertilised eggs. So it's a bit different for us. If we had the luxury of a frozen transfer I wouldn't be having to plan it already.

That's sadly the reality for couples like us here if you want more than one child, even when just pregnant you have to be thinking of your next move. Awful, but our reality!

Yes cannot wait for a weekend away in July, its a 2 hour drive from here. My sister and partner live just across the way from the island so can get a wee boat over and join us for dinner!

I'm sure plenty of places allow a cat no?!

I won't be flying while pregnant either, covid risk aside I personally think it's a risk I'm just not willing to take after all we've been through. I flew to India a few years ago with my pregnant friend who lived out there, she did it through 3 healthy pregnancies many times a year! But I'm not that lucky 😉

Going for my organic facial later so excited for some me Time! Weather is absolutely dreadful here last few days, raining and baltic. Like a day in Feb never mind May!

Enjoy your weekend ladies

A xx

Hi. Sorry been quiet last few days, I've been feeling very nauseous all day long 🤢 but it's made me super happy to finally have some symptoms, ha ha!

Amazing news @Bella1984!!! Sorry about the clinic, sounds like you should just move to Edinburgh too for next time 😉 are you going to wait for your 12 week scan or planning to have an in between scan somewhere else?

My 7 week scan is on Tuesday at 8:15am 😴! Feeling v nervous about it with my last scan being so traumatic I think too. But pleased going to be at my clinic rather than at window to the womb like last time. My clinic have been great too (apart from the whole prescription mess up, it tuned out they posted it second class!) and always feel like they are genuinely routing for me and have shown so much compassion that makes me well up sometimes (I'm def more emotional than normal!!!).

Sooo sweet what your clinic said to you @BambiOnIce80 about wanting to see the family they helped create. Actually made me well up reading it! (My hormones are out of control ha ha!). Moving to Edinburgh Friday or Saturday depending on how packing goes, so excited to be in the best city! 😀😀😀

@OM82 let me know what you decide to do about your jag! So helpful you can ask your sis in law. I didn't realise jag was a Scottish word until DP who isn't Scottish had no idea what it meant!

@lboogy are you managing to get any more sleep? Twins I'm sure is daunting but so exciting!!!

@louloulemons how you feeling? Your scan is a week Tuesday isn't it?

@PT8998 not sure if you'll see this but so sorry you've had such a tough time of it but hoping the step back making you feel better and you getting some rest and to see you back again!

Ok better get back to packing!

Hey @Em916

Yeah they've been rubbish won't bore you all with the long list! But will not be giving giving them another penny.

Exciting your 7 week scan is soon sure you just can't wait. It really was such a relief for us

I'm personally waiting until my 12/13 wk scan. I don't see the need to have another one in between when our 7 week went so well. Literally perfect in terms of foetal size, heartbeat, yolk sac etc. I'm over medical apps and invasive scans and would rather just relax now and enjoy the pregnancy. What will be will be! Plus I'd rather spend my hard earned money on maternity clothes etc 🤰

I am hoping my weight gain will start to taper off, other wise I'll be huge!

Hope you all have a nice weekend. Awful weather this morning here but the sun is out now!

Good luck with packing, very exciting time to move! And I love Edinburgh so much 😍

Chat soon all xx

Lusty beg looks great @bella1984! You've made me this I should book a wee getaway as well, we've got a dog (an annoyingly energetic lurcher who definitely doesn't realise when I'm feeling tired and still wants his two hour walk every afternoon) so cabins like that would be great. At the moment our only holiday plans are to stay in my sister's house when she's on holiday this summer as it's near London so guaranteed to be at least 10 deg warmer than here!

Good luck with your move @em916. That's a full week you've got ahead - hope you can relax about the scan. I lived in Edinburgh for a few years, it's a great city. There's a cafe chain called Peters yard/soderburg which do the most amazing cardomon rolls. I always buy four or five...

@bambionice80 thanks for asking, my husband got the job 😊 He had to have a second interview as they couldn't decide between him and another candidate
It's at his current school so hopefully not too much disruption. He's currently cooking his celebratory spag bol as I'm lying on the sofa feeling really sick!

I decided to delay my covid jag but when I phoned the helpline the woman was really useless. She said I couldn't request a certain vaccine (I'm pretty sure you can if you're pregnant, and I definitely can because I'm under 40), then said there were no appointments anywhere near me in all of June (I included Stirling and Glasgow!). And finally she said she wouldn't cancel my appointment next week in case I changed my mind. I convinced her to in the end as it seems silly to have a slot booked up when I won't be using it. I'll phone in a week or so to try and reschedule and hopefully get someone else to speak to...

@OM82 yes I've wanted to go to Lusty beg for years and with covid and now expecting it's perfect. I think we are going at the end of July. They have a spa too my husband can enjoy it and I'll sit and drink mocktails haha.

My sister is in the Cotswolds she moved just before covid hit last Feb so haven't been over to her new house yet and won't be flying to will have to wait until the bambino is here! 😌 that will be nice to visit your sis.

Great news about your husband's job, hard to keep up with everything on here now there are more of us!

That's so poor about the vaccine but does not surprise me. Depends who you get doesn't it! Tbf I got sent the letter months ago (due to my mental health) I declined and asked for it to be postponed due to ivf as advised by our clinic. She was lovely and said she'll send another letter in the summer. (I would have had it early Jan as a frontline NHS worker on covid wards, but had gallbladder surgery in Jan so couldn't. Then my clinic advised absolutely not to get in either 3 months of ivf cycle. Frustrating as a lot of you guys we're told one month?

I might get it in my second trimester, but still researching! If not I will get it as soon as the baby is here, then I think they could get some immunity passed through breast feeding? I Will not be getting the Oxford one under any circumstances. Its your right as a pregnant woman to ask for the one medically recommended so the helpline woman is totally wrong there! She also shouldn't be putting pressure on you not to cancel it, not her place to do that!

My concerns are that the medical advice re which vaccines are safe for what age group etc is changing all the time. For example my husband (36) and wee sis (34) Got their 1st jab a few weeks ago and were.given the Oxford one. Top medical advisors now strongly saying no Oxford for under 40s! So they now have the dilemma of do they mix and get the Pfizer vaccine for their second jab. Which was previously a no go but now they're saying it might give increased immunity than 2 of the same jabs?! Will they even have a choice! I'm not happy about them getting a 2nd Oxford one if it is not strongly advised not to for under 40s, which I am too. Plus they're talking about a 3rd booster jab in the Autumn to help protect against the new variants.

Ugh doing ivf and being pregnant in a global pandemic is really not to be recommended is it! 😂 I of course wouldn't change it for the world, but there are definitely extra challenges! Waiting on my Band 7 job offer coming through this week now all the checks have been completed. Can't wait to hand my 4 weeks notice in to my current job and say see ya later!

Hope you all have a lovely weekend. We are heading to a lovely place with a sea view about 5 mins from where we live. Called the salty dog and you can even bring dogs inside usually for afternoon tea etc! Atm they have lovely spaced outdoor wooden booths which you can sit and watch the world go by with your dog while listening to the ocean & eating yummy food! So just needs to stay dry 🤞 if not we will get wrapped up and go anyway!

B xx

Sorry to hear that the nausea has hit @Em916 🤢💐 I get what you mean about it being weirdly comforting to have a symptom though! 😂 I've started getting it intermittently throughout the day, but it's mostly mild - no danger of actually being sick yet! The first time I heard someone say 'jag' I thought they'd just got it wrong and meant 'jab', but then I noticed everyone except me was saying 'jag' and realised it must be a Scottish thing! 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿😁 Only 2 more sleeps until your scan then 🤩 And then you'll be in Edi after that! I hope the move goes smoothly 🍀

Excellent news about your hubbies job @OM82! 🥳 I love Soderberg's cardomom rolls! 😋 Haven't had any during lockdown, so must rectify that soon 👍 On the jab/jag front, I've been seeing a lot about the debacle on the news where pregnant women are being offereded it, but then the infrastructure isn't in place to make sure they get the pfiezer or moderna vaccines 😕 One tactic I have seen work is writing to your MP/MSP - no politician wants to be seen to be being ineffective in helping protect a pregnant woman from covid 🦠😉

The post code lottery absolutely sucks @Bella1984 😞 Did you say your NHS appt letter had just come through? I think you're absolutely right to take it and get on that treatment list - if it takes 2 years, then it's perfect for your #2 timeline👌How was the facial? I bloody love a facial 💆🏻‍♀️ Might have to see if I can book one in for after 12 weeks (my beauticians insurance won't let her touch pregnant women unless they're over 12 weeks 🙄 My bikini line is already a thing of nightmares! 😳).

On the not flying front (totally agree - not a risk I'm willing to take either), when covid has calmed down could you get the ferry across to Scotland and then do a bit of a grand tour babymoon of Britain to see your brother and sister?! 🇬🇧 Just a thought 💭

Your afternoon plans sound lovely 😊 I think mine are going to involve hoovering and mopping 😏 Got dinner plans with my friends on Tuesday night though (for the first time since last August!), so that's something to look forward to 😎

Have a lovely Sunday ladies.x

Good luck for your scan today @Em916 🍀🍀🍀

Thanks @BambiOnIce80 🥰

I had my scan and all good!!! 😀😀😀 I'm 7weeks 3days which was bang, it's 12.1mm. Due date is 26th December (1 day behind you @BambiOnIce80! )

Such a wreck beforehand and got no sleep last night but phew, feel more relief than anything as still sinking in!!! my DP was allowed in (first appointment he could attend in ages) so he was super pleased to be there (although no tears ha ha!!).

Ah such amazing news @Em916!!!!!! So delighted for you both and especially that you could finally share the special moment together!!!!! x

Amazing news @Em916! 😍🥳😍🥳 That's interesting that you're 7+3 and they've given you an EDD of boxing day - I'm 7+3 today and they've told me Christmas day! 🤷🏻‍♀️ That said, I bet we both get told a different EDD again if we get past the 12 week scan! 😄 Either way, if things go OK for us both then we might be on the labour ward together! 😂

That's great that your OH was there with you 🥰 The relief is massive 😌 I'm still trying to cling onto my sense of relief 😏 I've been feeling really, really rough the last two days but I feel fine today... the worry never bloody ends, does it?! 🤦🏻‍♀️How's the packing going? Are you nearly hot to trot? 🚚🍀

It'll be you this time next week won't it @louloulemons? I hope everything is good with you.x

Hope everyone else is doing well having a lovely week 😊

Yes a week today, thank goodness, I don't think I could cope with waiting any longer!

Thank you @louloulemons and @BambiOnIce80! 🥰

Oh actually my DP reminded me they said I'm 7+2 today but my scan showing 7+3 so makes more sense with dates!

I think I'm going to try and chill for next few weeks (famous last words!) and hold off for a 10 week scan privately in Edinburgh that's not a window to womb type place so maybe somewhere like the spire so don't have all the crap in the waiting room! Just don't think I'll last until 12 weeks...

I'm the same with the nausea @BambiOnIce80. Feeling sick but not being sick but should still make 7 hour car journey fun! Packing not going great so going to stay here until Saturday or Sunday now annoyingly! But at least I have Monday off work.

@louloulemons hope the 1 week wait goes by fast for you!

P.s. @BambiOnIce80 sorry you had a rough couple of days. Is it more physical symptoms or worrying about stuff or both? Glad it's better today!

@Em916 the last couple of days I've been feeling really rough with nausea and fatigue, but today the nausea is somewhere between very mild and non-existent... of course it has me worrying that it's all gone wrong already, so I'm now driving myself nuts again! 🤦🏻‍♀️ I've been getting a good 10 hours sleep in over the last 4 nights though, so I guess that could be helping 🤔 I think if my symptoms are continuing to disappear then I'll mention it to the midwife at my booking appointment next Tuesday - the poor woman will be getting the rough end of the stick with me and my neuroses! 🤪

That's a shame about the moving date, but better to get things packed away to your satisfaction and not stress yourself out by hurrying 👍 You'll have plenty of time if you've got Monday off too 🙂 Have you got much to do to the place when you move in or can you just unpack as is?

I know what you mean @louloulemons - soooo much waiting! 😩 Nearly there now for you though 💪

That's great news @em916, I hadn't realised how stressful I would find it. Good luck with the rest of the packing, it's such a nightmare. I guess you've got somewhere sorted to move into into straight away?

Hope the wait isn't too bad for you @louloulemons. Try to relax this weekend!

@bambionice80 I am so jealous of your access to Sodaborg. I'm thinking of going to a garden centre in the Pentlands this weekend and wondering if I can somehow detour via one of their cafes. It's annoying for me that they're all so central. Though I've not been into the middle of the city for a couple of years so it might be nice to be back (though I'll get culture shock at seeing more than five people at once!)

The different info on vaccination is so frustrating. Thanks for your thoughts @bambionice80. I had my booking appt today and asked the midwife, she said I should definitely be able to chose which vaccine, but they're going to start offering them through the maternity unit soon (not sure if that's a local, Scottish or UK decision though!) so hopefully that will sort me out.

She also talked about the chromosome testing for Downs etc. I thought it was interesting that she advised deciding first whether you would be happy to have the amnio test, she said the worst thing to do is have the initial test come back high probability, then the nice/harmony test also high probability, and then choose not to do the invasive test and spend the rest of your pregnancy unsure and worried. So either no testing or be open to all three. Anyway, just thought I'd share that. So many things to worry about!