June 2021 babies...

[LadyHalesBroach]

Anyone else out there?! Very excited but super early days so haven’t got anyone else to share this news with!

@MotherOfCrocodiles no it's not the birth I'm worried about at all, just the entire pregnancy before it I don't care either way if it's csection or vba2c, doesn't make a difference to me. Except the not driving for 4 weeks afterwards would be a pain as usual!

I see. I have had two elective sections and both were great- one thing about it is that you aren't in the same position of being potentially mistreated or neglected at a vulnerable time because the whole birth is just a calm 45min op - there isn't the same element of dealing with the situation as it unfolds. So from that perspective it might mean you feel less "at the mercy" of the hospital you don't trust. Just a thought.

I mean, that might make you feel better about the hospital staff throughout pregnancy if you weren't feeling they had so much power ...?

I had what they called an elective last time, in that it wasn't emergency, but the consultant chose it not me. First was an emcs. They were fine, I'm not worried about that option happening at all, it's the antenatal appointments themselves I dread unfortunately. They never read my notes or cared when I said I was mid panic attack at every appointment from 12 weeks on, and at 39 weeks my consultant disregarded an agreement we had had from the start (difficult to explain without being very specific).

I'm seeing gp now anyway to discuss anxiety medication and any options within the hospital.

@Garman focus on getting you meds and speaking to the liaison person at the hospital. Hopefully you'll have better care this time but keep the dialogue going.

I found it best to get my consultant to sign my birth plan during my antenatal visit. This pretty much saved my baby's life as it was written not to break my waters and the midwife didn't because it was signed by the consultant. The umbilical cord was doubly wrapped around my baby's ankles t and around his neck.

Have a list of what you plan to speak about jotted with short notes do you don't forget. Also try not to get emotional, not easy I know and state your case firmly.

@Mishmased ah ok well at least you know what is causing the bleeding, hopefully it doesn’t last too long! I hope your 5 year old is Covid free! 🤞 I have a 13month old so this will be DC2!

@SkittyKat congrats and welcome! So many emotions involved when it’s an ivf pregnancy, hopefully you have a nice, boring pregnancy from here on!

@Garman I suffered really badly from severe anxiety last pregnancy due to losing our first baby in the second trimester. It was horrendous and I basically ended up being induced as I was a panicky mess, the induction failed miserably and it ended up in an emergency c-section and 3 night stay in scbu. Looking back, I feel if I’d have pushed for more mental health support during my pregnancy, my birth wouldn’t have been the shit show that it was! Does your trust have a perinatal mental health team you can be referred to?

@Mishmased “This pretty much saved my baby's life as it was written not to break my waters and the midwife didn't because it was signed by the consultant. The umbilical cord was doubly wrapped around my baby's ankles t and around his neck.”

This sounds terrifying, I’m glad all ended well! Must have been so scary for you though!

@KJ1984 thanks so much. We got result back today and he's negative so relief all round!

Yes his birth (same child) was an adventure alright. 5xm dilated on a Friday at 4pm and baby wasn't born until Sunday at 11am. In between I ate nothing but ice cubes and tomato slices. Begged for c section, got put in the bath so many time it was a wonder I didn't turn into a mermaid.
I heard one midwife ask the other about breaking water and the other asked if there was a birth plan and who signed it. Then she said to leave it as she's being sectioned and they don't know why I'm bleeding heavily.
Registrar delivering the baby whispered to the senior midwife that 'there's no way this baby would have been born alive vaginally' not realizing DH heard and DH didn't realize I heard at the time.
I couldn't speak properly for a week!
On the bright side I'm back 😆

That's terrifying @Mishmased, what a thing for her to say within earshot of you both.

My consultant wouldn't look at never mind sign my birth plan last time, he was a horrible man. But a senior midwife signed it and it was fantastic. Again unfortunately birth preferences don't help me in this, it's the antenatal appointments that I panic about now the birth, after my experiences last time.

@KJ1984 I am hoping so/assuming so, but last time I asked for help such as that at 30 weeks and was completely dismissed by the most senior midwife on duty, learned not to ask them for help again so I don't know for sure.

*not the birth

@Garman I understand what you mean. Maybe writing down your queries or anxiety down and if they don't listen request to speak to a different midwife?

I had an consultant anesthetist tell me if he gave me an epidural I would either die or be paralyzed for life.

I complained to a midwife and she apologized on his behalf. He's one of the best but that doesn't excuse terrible bedside manner.

Same consultant two years later asked why I wanted a vbac. Amongst my reasons was recovery time as I was finishing my masters, scarring as I tend to have keloids amongst other things. He sneered at me saying 'you know you can scar anywhere'.
After birth same consultant stood at door with his hair everywhere (I can imagine he was roused our of bed for the emcs) looked at me with the same sneer 'congratulations' when he meant I told you so.
I have had my run of a few not so great doctors, but have also had amazing ones. People can be shit sometimes.

I know sometimes you cannot request a different consultant but hopefully someone can be able to help facilitate a better ante natal visit for you.x

@Garman and @Mishmased sorry to hear you have had such awful experiences, I really hope both of you have better ones this time. It is such a stressful and vulnerable times in our lives, I don't understand why some midwives/ consultants feel the need to be so awful.

I had nothing as bad, but with my first I had been having contractions less than 5 minutes for 13 hours and had been severely sick so was told to go in to the MWU. I was only 1cm dilated so I was told to go home and take paracetamol by one MW. She was really awful and told me I would be on a ward by myself as DH would be sent home and because we lived 50 miles away from the hospital he might not make it back if I suddenly went into 'real' labour. A second MW was looking really worried and urged me to go through to the hospital because I shouldn't go home.

I was so upset and confused we started going home, then I threw up again and was screaming with the contractions. We turned around and went through to the hospital. I was looked at in triage and take straight to the delivery suite as I had sepsis which was causing the sickness. DD was also back to back which was causing the immense pain. Thankfully all was ok in the end.

A friend was in exactly the same situation and she ended up fighting for her life with her baby in NICU for several weeks. It always makes me shudder to think what might have been if we had gone home

Sounds just awful ladies. So sad to hear that your experiences haven't been pleasant, some sound traumatising to say the least! Do you have different hospital options?

Side note: anyone with absolutely ZERO symptoms at 7 weeks. As in... I'm struggling to believe the pregnancy tests if I'm honest!

@buntingandstarcharts enjoy being symptomless. For my other two I had zero symptoms nothing!
But boy I sure am making up for lost time this time round. I keep saying to DH it is my punishment for having a third thinking it will be like the previous two 🤣

I hate reading all these awful stories about labour and birth and how the women have had no choice In there care. It makes me so angry and upset as I am a midwife and I advocate so strongly and try to facilitate the birth that women and their families deserve.
Really sorry to hear about your experiences and I can only apologise and have all my fingers and toes crossed you have a better experience this time @Garman and @Mishmased.

X

@Mishmased when did your sickness start? I really hope it's ok in there and I'm not making it up! Did you have girls or boys before, do you think it is a sign on the sex of the baby or not? X

Come to St George's hospital in tooting, honestly the most outstanding maternity unit you could ask for

Thanks @stickytoffeepud1991

I have no symptoms now except loss of appetite, a new one for me! On my others at around this stage I lurched from nauseous to starving for carbs. So I'm enjoying feeling absolutely normal for now!

@Garman how many weeks are you? Great you're feeling so dandy

@binkybunny that is scary. Good thing you turned around, sepsis is not something you want to hear about.

Having said that I felt well looked after on both pregnancies. I had the same team for both babies. My hematologist was amazing , obstetrician fantastic just the bloody anesthetist maybe because he's male as sexist as it sounds 🤣

We moved 200 miles away so new hospital. I requested my notes from previous births so I have them. Should be interesting third time round as this will be my first elective section.

@buntingandstarcharts I'm only just 4 weeks, but I knew this time last week with symptoms and got bfp on Monday. I had a chemical pregnancy before my 2nd dc and it's the only time I've had no obvious symptoms so early so I'm hoping this is a good sign for this one. If it goes the same path as my dc I'll be nauseous from 6 weeks to the end though!

@stickytoffeepud1991 for every crap healthcare personnel there are hundreds s of wonderful ones. I have nothing but gratitude to them and in their defense it was the August bank holiday and they were short staffed as always. I don't seem to have learnt my lesson as this baby is due around the June bank holiday.
My hematologists and obstetrician are both my role model and if I ever become a medic I want to be like them. Thanks for advocating for women, your patients are very lucky to have you. Hope to get lots more chats with you in the next coming months.x

I am really hoping to avoid MS this time as I am a TA in a SEN school and come into contact with my things to make me retch on a daily basis without it, I dread to think how I'll cope. I had an office job the last 2 times and worked from home several times due to MS which I obviosuly cannot do this time!