First timers due in Octoberish

[Kittiwake]

Hi this thread is for any first timers or anyone really who wants to chat about their imminent arrival and general lack of idea of what to expect!

I realise that there is already an October thread but there seems to be quite a few people who have come a bit late to join in the discussion on there. Hope this doesn't offend anyone

Wow Kittiwake, your antenatal care sounds brilliant! Maybe I should move to Wales

I've seen a different midwife every time I've been to hospital. I can't imagine that any of them would come to my house either. They never seem to have the time to talk through things like birth plans etc. Maybe it's just because it's a busy London teaching hospital.

The boiler is a total nightmare!!! The problem is that we're just camping out here for 3 months so I can be closer to mum and the hospital when the baby arrives. If we were staying here longer term I would definitely fork out for a new boiler. Right now I think I'd happily blow all of my savings on it if that's what it takes to get a hot bath round here!!

Glad your mum is so close for you but ugh - no boiler! That's a total nightmare. I really hope the woman who's flat it is bothers to return your calls. Surely she knows you are about to have a baby?! People can be so inconsiderate.

Your care sounds great kittiwake. I would have thought being up in Scotland I would get more attention but it sounds the same as yours Missbumpy. Different midwife every single time and you are really rushed through the appointments.

I have thought about telling my husband that I am going to go stay somewhere else but there isn't really anywhere for me to go. Besides being away from him would make me totally miserable. The situation is really stressing him out - I think he feels stuck between two cultures and really doesn't know how to tell his uncle he needs to move on. The other problem is that he doesn't speak English or have a job so where the hell is he going to go. I woke up crying this morning though which is not good - the whole thing is making me feel really rotten.

My husband will definitely not be cutting the cord! He is so squeamish he would certainly faint. He's worried about getting through the birth - I told him just to stay at my head and not look.

Can definitley recommend living in Wales for lots of reasons we moved here about a year ago from Oxford but have also lived in London so can believe it is a whole different ball game there.

There are 4 midwife's at my MLU and I have got to know all of them now, they also take the ante-natal classes and one attends the Aqua-natal class so have seen them quite a lot which has been really reassuring. One of them also lives 5 mins from my house! They are really laid back and seem to be very pro-homebirth etc. thing is though if there are any complications at all I will be transferred to the hospital in Abergavenny which I haven't even visited and that will be a real shock.

Poor you Stefka Waking up crying is not a good state of affairs. I didn't realise it was your uncle (in law). Where's he from?

I know it's not very helpful or productive but everytime my DP has p*ssed me off during the pregnancy (which happens quite a lot!...usually to do with his inability to be on time, his messiness, and the fact that he is often out having a nice time with his mates while I'm stuck at home feeling like a big, lonely, whale!) my kneejerk reaction is to say that I'm going to stay at my mum's or he should move out and live with one of his mates or his family. I never actually do it but it's what I always want to do in the heat of the moment. Probably doesn't help much in your situation if you've got nowhere else to go and if your uncle-in-law doesn't have anywhere to go either

Anyway, I've just had a hot bath at mum's so I'm feeling a little bit more human. I might put a load of washing on in mum's machine too so at least we'll have some more clean clothes.

Not sure my DP could cope with cutting the cord either! I explained an episiotomy to him the other day and you should have seen the look of horror on his face !!!

That sounds so nice Kittiwake. I'm quite jealous!

He's got a bit of a cheek looking horrified - it's not him they are going to chop with a pair of scissors!

I think I said pretty much exactly that to him . I point out the same thing whenever he says he's nervous/scared about childbirth!

PS. they don't really do it with scissors do they ?! I assumed it would be a scalpel or something...not that it makes much difference either way!

No idea - I am in denial about that procedure. I have just decided I am not having one!

I'm with you on that

Hey Girls

I'm hoping for a water birth, so reducing the risk of tears or cuts... I also can't remember the whole vitamin K thing - we were given an info sheet on it from NCT but I haven't had a chance to read it!

My Mummy's here - yay! - and looking after me, which is great!

WMWG I'm hoping the water might help with that too but also a bit in denial that anything like that might have to happen

Stefka that sounds such a tricky situation with your houseguest so sorry it is making you so miserable just when you really don't need this. I understand that your DH is in an awkward spot but he has to listen to how important this is to you.

I would love a water birth - sadly it is not an option here. It is such a lottery the service you get.

After not being told about the antenatal class that is running tomorrow, then being told it was fully booked, then being told I would be called if they could fit me in I never heard from them. I called them back today and fortunately they are going to let me go. It's a really important one - the breathing and positions for labour so thank goodness for that!

I'm hoping for a water birth too but there are only 2 pools at my hospital and they're always in demand so it's just a question of getting lucky on the day. I don't want to get too hung up on the idea of a water birth because there's a good chance both pools will be busy when I go into labour. I've heard that water birth is meant to be better in terms of tearing too. Also, apparently position during labour has a lot to do with it too. Being on all fours is meant to be a good position for avoiding tearing.

I was reading a thread on 'childbirth' earlier where everyone seemed to be saying that episiotomies really aren't that bad...I'm still not convinced though and I'd rather avoid one if I can

I'm having trouble getting on to my NHS antenatal class. You have to book by phone but every time I try calling the antenatal clinic the phone just rings and rings until I give up. Not sure what to do. Is it really that important to go?

Actually, there's one on Wednesdays which you don't have to book where you can just chat to a midwife about your birth plan so maybe I'll go along to that this week.

Just found this on Vit K....another thing to worry about !

Morning all - how is everyone?

I had another night of tummy pain. My body must be preparing or something.

My husband said something to the uncle. Don't know what exactly - think it was more along the lines of getting him into a better place for work rather than the baby. That does mean the pressure of time isn't there but at least it was a step in the right direction.

I haven't been given any info on vit k. Just told that the baby has it. As usual nothing was discussed with me.

Hi Stefka,

That's good news that your DH has said something to your uncle Hopefully he'll take the hint.

I had a bit of tummy pain last night. Not like contractions or anything and it didn't keep me awake, I was just vaguely aware of feeling a bit achy/uncomfortable.

No one's mentioned Vit K to me either. In fact they haven't mentioned anything like the delivery of the placenta or anything like that. I've found it all out from reading my pregnancy books. I can't really blame the hospital though since I haven't been to any antenatal classes

Morning.

Sounds like tummy pain all round!!! I m definitely thinking I mght be getting BH now quite a wierd feeling not that strong but feels a bit different to the baby moving.

Miss Bumpy my antenatal classes were not amazingingly informative for me as had already read a zillion books/MN but there were some intersting bits and it is kind of reassuring to hear some stuff again. My DH found it really useful though. In case it is helpful mine followed the following format. First one was on what we wanted to get out of the classes and general info, second on first stage of labour (i.e stay at home as long as possible), third on second and third stage ( including placenta stuff) and last class was on care of baby/breastfeeding/re-usable nappies plus visit from helath visitor. Second half of first three sesssions was taken up by physio doing realxation and breathing techniques.

Do your funny contraction things feel a bit twitchy Kitti? I can't decide if mine are the baby moving or something else.

Your classes sound quite good. I've read up on all that stuff too but it would definitely be useful for DP to learn a bit more about it. He's read a few bits and bobs but I strongly suspect he's skipped over the important (and more gruesome!) bits!

I'll keep on calling them and try to book myself up for next week.

Yeah they do feel a bit twitchy maybe a bit like a hiccup inside my stomach!!! (hard to explain really)

Yes my DH prob did same when reading stuff so was helpful for me to know he had heard it, if you see what I mean. Also must make him read birth plan .

I need to write my birth plan first ! Then I'll make him learn it word for word and commit it to memory!

Hi everyone, DH and I wrote our birth-plan together on the weekend so that we both could talk about what we wanted. Basically, we ended up writing what we wanted in an ideal situation and left the rest up to the midwife. I've been lucky with my care so far (I live in Manchester) and have only seen the one midwife who is coming round tomorrow to drop off the equipment for my homebirth. I would recommend the NHS classes even if only for the opportunity to meet other mums-to-be in the area.

Hello,

Did any of you see the Bringing up Baby programme on C4 tonight? How scary was that 1950s strict routine lady?!

Morning peeps.

I watched that - she was very scary!! No kissing or cuddling the baby - what??? That surely can't be good. She's never had children though so can't know what it is really like to be a parent.

Morning! Unsurprisingly that programme caused a bit of a stir on MN....almost 1000 posts on this thread already and it was only aired last night!

How are you all doing? I'm feeling knackered after another bad night's sleep but I'm determined to get some kind of birth plan down on paper this morning so I can take it along to the drop-in session with the midwife this afternoon to discuss it with her.

What's everyone else up to today?