Dec19/Jan20 IVF Graduates - Thread 2

[Chooklass]

New thread for us all to keep in touch. Think we're all nearing the end of the first trimester or dipping our toes into the second ... how far we've come since the days of agonising over stims!

Link to old thread:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/birth_clubs/3812203-Dec19-Jan20-IVF-Graduates

I don't think baby cares much about being held by others this early on. In Russia we normally don't show them to anyone till they are at least 1 months old and they start kindergarten at 3 years old. I sometimes think socializing the baby is a bit of a propaganda to get mothers back to work early. Obviously I may think very differently later on. Tbh for me it's more about managing family in law relationships as they all want to come and help and I feel if we say no once they won't offer again. Also appreciate they all want to see and hold a newborn.

Anyone else getting the full range of 3rd trimester symptoms now? I feel like I could win pregnancy bingo!! Puffy ankles, leg cramps and heartburn have all joined the PGP party in the last week! 😱

I've got a bit of heartburn on and off, a bit of rib / upper spine ache in the evenings, swollen fingers recently. Overall though I feel pretty normal so far and still enjoying the growing bump.

33’ in the South East today with a ‘feels like’ of 39’. I am grateful I am not to be further along and still not large enough for this to make me feel more uncomfortable! Sleep has been awful since Friday, good training I suppose!

Hope you’re all managing to keep cool.

It's crazy hot! I've been washing all baby clothes as they dry in minutes.

@Viletta perfect weather for that! I was so tempted but we haven’t got anywhere to store things until the nursery furniture arrives and I didn’t want to risk it getting dusty. We’ve been lucky to have been given loads of small vests and sleep suits that a friend used for her children.

Anyone approached the topic of flexible working on return from mat leave or is this sort of thing usually discussed whilst on mat leave? I want to go back 4 days a week and get on really well with my manager, my husband thinks I should mention it before I go off but I don’t know what the done thing is?

Hiya, hope everyone is doing well and coping with the heat as much as possible!

@justkeeprunning5 I am also thinking about doing back part time and believe it will not be an issue (getting on well with my manager too, that always helps) as we already have a girl doing that, but I haven't brought the topic up yet and not planning on doing so before I leave. The reason being is that once I get closer to the time going back we will have a better idea of childcare options etc. and I think that will play a big part in making that decision (making sure it makes sense financially etc.). I do have the flexible working scheme chapter in the employee's manual book and it does suggest this should be arranged on return, but it could be different at other companies.

@justkeeprunning5 I'll bring it up closer to the returning date. I'll have keeping in touch days with HR. I personally think it's too early at the moment, they only want to know whether I'll be returning at this point for my secondment. I don't think they need to know this early.

Thanks @Lily999 @Viletta that was my gut feeling, mention it at some point next year.

A chunky part of my job has just been redistributed fo someone else (it wasn’t really appropriate for me to be doing this element any more as was a legacy from when my role was different) so I think it will be easier to swing a 4 day week without that being part of my job, so good timing really.

As you say more clarity on money / childcare availability by then so worth waiting.

I haven't mentioned any plans to work yet, I will do so when I get to the end of mat leave. I think it is best to keep options open where possible...!

I've not had a good week, spent two nights admitted to hospital with reduced movements and decelerations in her heartbeat. Having daily CTGs for the foreseeable future... getting to October is looking less and less likely...!

Can't believe we are all getting so close now, washing baby clothes etc! I really need to pack my hospital bag, anyone else done it?

@October2020 gosh, why they think you had reduced movements? Glad they monitor you properly now. How are you feeling? I'll pack my hospital bag on week 37 I think when the babe is fully cooked. I'm pretty chilled about it as if anything I can throw things in a bag quickly and DH will sort out missing bits. Still planning home birth atm. SIL gave birth week 35 almost 36, the baby was small but perfectly healthy. What week are you at the moment?

They don't really know. Doctor said it could just be one of those things - babies do have ups and downs, even due to things like squeezing their own cord...! - but basically they want to keep a close eye. Which is great. She has a really fast heartrate too but they don't seem hugely concerned. I'm reassured by the fact that they aren't panicking! It got a bit scary last night because her heartbeat was dropping and they rushed me to the delivery suite and told me my husband needed to come in...! I kept saying "but I havent packed my hospital bag!", like that was going to make a difference 🤣 she did then stabilise though. Just want to fast forward 8 weeks now....! Im 30weeks. C section booked for 39. In my head if we can get past 34 weeks I will be happy - at 34 they are tiny but basically okay.

Ah @october2020 we are on the same timeline, I am also 30weeks now, will have a growth scan tomorrow, already worried what if they are not happy with the numbers? Feels like having an exam and I want to pass so desperately. It is good they are keeping a close eye on you, this is all we can ask for I guess. I also have these mixed feelings as we have to go in for a growth scan in every 3rd week and I am glad they are monitoring his growth, at the same time I know there is a reason for doing that... All so emotional isn't it?

My last day at work got confirmed this morning so it will be the 18th of September, can't wait as I am already feeling so disengaged from work, all I want to do is decorate the nursery and think about packing my hospital bag etc. :)

I think we are only a day apart @Lily999 - I'm 30+3. I actually found the growth scan quite reassuring but I was nervous in advance of it! It is such a nervous time as we get to the end but we are all so close now...!

I was wondering if we wanted to start a whatsapp group? If you'd like to, pm me your number and I will start one!

@October2020 I was thinking a whatsapp group for us all would be nice too! It would be nice to stay in touch on a less public forum? I'm up for it!

@Lily999 - how are your piles?! (Sorry ... 😂). I've been struck down too and looking for miracle cures!

Haha, nice starting a WhatsApp group with all of us remembering I am the piles girl :D @Chooklass it was gone 4days after it appeared and thankfully nothing since, like it's never been an issue. Important to note the pain was super intense for the full 4days and it didn't gradually disappear, but when I woke up on the 5th day it was just gone. My plan was to start a Calendula cream treatment if it was still there after a week, luckily that wasn't the case. How long has it been?

@October2020 yes as I am 30+2 today, so close! Getting scanxiety, but hoping all will be well in the morning, I do feel him definitely getting stronger and he is very very active so no reason to be concerned, but as always, it's best to hear it from them.

I've started a group so message me and I will add you to it :)

I am living in fear of piles!!!!!!! So far so good. Also seem to have avoided stretch marks so far but think that's cos I had a fat tummy to start with!

Don't worry @Lily999 - I'll be Piles Girl now!! 😂🍇 Been a bit uncomfortable for a couple of days but today was much sorer. Got some Germaloid ointment so hopefully that will do the trick 🤞

Thanks for setting that up! I will message you my number @October2020 x

I've been reading nice guidelines on birth and it's quite reassuring I guess. Getting anxious about the whole process www.nice.org.uk/guidance/cg190/ifp/chapter/Care-of-women-and-their-babies-during-labour-and-birth

Hi ladies, I'm up for WhatsApp group too 😀. @October2020 sorry to hear about you being rushed to hospital. Coincidentally I went in for the 2nd time this week. As it was the 2nd time I was 'gifted' a growth scan and my baby is slightly on the bigger side at 2kg at 30 week. I saw the same junior doctor that I had seen a few weeks earlier and did not like him. I was treated like conveyor belt and he kept saying 'big baby' over and over again and how I will need a c section. Now two things: he isn't British so the not nicely put 'big baby' phrase repeated over and over again got on my nerves he even wrote 'big baby' on the GD blood test form as the justification. Surely there are better ways to describe it rather than use the word 'big'. He also talks really fast and I felt he was rather condescending towards me so if I have the option I'd rather not see him again. Also scans calculate baby weight based on algorithms, it's not accurate at all. How on earth is he suggesting I have a c section based on a guess? What a tosser! Either way I'm filled with anxiety thinking I won't make to 40 weeks. Thanks Doc 😫

Oh bless you @QuantumGirl it is really crap when you see a doctor you aren't keen on. I got a bit shirty with one this week when she said something really dismissive like "all is perfect here" ... when i was in the delivery suite with a dedicated midwife to watch the machine and they'd phoned my husband because they thought they might be delivering and they'd put a cannula in ready etc...! I said something like "well clearly it isn't all perfect as I'm sat here like this...." and she did backtrack and agree there were concerns... well don't tell me it's perfect then!

Big baby is an annoying phrase because it is so unscientific. Big against what? Is baby now on a bigger percentile than at 20weeks? And there is huge variation in their weight estimations, i know a number of people who have been told to expect monsters and they come out at a perfectly acceptable weight (and vice versa). Can you ask your midwife to talk it through with you? Mine has been very good if I send her a photo of the scan report xx

P.s. I've added Lily999 and Chooklass to our WhatsApp group so far, send me numbers if you want to join and I will add you x

Sorry you had such a crap experience @QuantumGirl - Totally understand why that would stress you out. Hopefully you can avoid that doc in future! Xx

Morning! @QuantumGirl that must have been very annoying, hope you can avoid him, here it is a gamble, we haven't seen the same Dr twice so far.

Had our growth scan this morning, Due to flooding in our area to roads were closed and we ended up running late that made me stressed, but thankfully everything went well, now we have a growth chart and he is measuring nicely despite of my low papp-a, touch wood it has not been causing issues so far as placenta is working. He is 1.7kgs today, next growth scan is in 3weeks time.

DH said this weekend we must pack the hospital bag as he is freaking out now we are getting closer to the big day, so I can't put it off any longer, will order everything that's missing. Can I ask which checklist did you use as what I have in my Ovia app is from the US..?

I made a list that I amalgamated from loads of websites... this is it...

Suitcase not hold-all!

No skid socks
Lip balm
Hair ties
Phone
Charger
Portable charger
Headphones
Fibre rich snacks
Toothbrush and toothpaste
Hairbrush
Shampoo and conditioner
Deodorant
Hair sanitiser
Face wipes
Nightgown x 3.
High waisted underwear
Nursing bra x 2
Breastfeeding pillow (baby off incision)
Leggings
Tops
Birth plan
Maternity pads
Nappy sacks
Cardigan/dressing gown
Breast pads
Nipple cream
Sleepsuits x5
Vests x5
Nappies (up to 12 a day)
Nappy sacks
Water wipes/cotton wool
Muslins
Hats - cotton and wooly
Cardigan
Blanket
Chewing gum
Disposable knickers
Dummies
Big water bottle with straw
Carrier bags (dirty washing)
Slippers
Cooling spray
Pram suit if cold

@Lily999 this is what I'll be packing

Something to give birth in
PJs
Robe to go on top for warmth
Socks
Flip flops
Change of clothes
3-4 knickers
Toiletries , no fragrance deodorant, lip balm
Sanitary pads
3 baby vests size newborn and 0-3
3 baby grows with long legs and sleeves
Baby hats
Blanket
Muslin
Swaddle blanket
10 nappies mix of size 0 and 1
Water wipes 1 pack
Snacks
Water
Energy drinks/cola
Phone charger
Headphones
My fave lavender lotion from lush and spritzer for the face
Towel
Whatever testers for baby nappy creams I got in promo packs
Car seat obv
Little hand fan (I wouldn't buy new but we have one at home)

What I won't be packing
Baby scissors (it's easier and saver albeit gross to bite their little nails off with your teeth when they are tiny)
Make up
Formula/bottles as a back up
Fairy lights for atmosphere