Dec19/Jan20 IVF Graduates - Thread 2

[Chooklass]

New thread for us all to keep in touch. Think we're all nearing the end of the first trimester or dipping our toes into the second ... how far we've come since the days of agonising over stims!

Link to old thread:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/birth_clubs/3812203-Dec19-Jan20-IVF-Graduates

Thanks @Chooklass, it differs hugely from trust to trust down here too. They did indicate that they hope to be back to normal face to face by September so fingers crossed the last few months will see a move to the midwife care that we usually expect.

Our trust has cancelled 24 week appointments but at 16 weeks my midwife said she thought it was ridiculous and to book in for 24 weeks as per normal so I saw her then and I have my next appointment at 28 weeks.

I’m currently lying on my bed having eaten some chocolate after thinking I haven’t felt the bean so far today (although I have been really busy and rushing round lots) trying to decide whether l should be worried or if I’ve just not noticed it... still at 25/6 weeks they’re prone to change positions and can’t be felt as strongly some days which is what I’m trying to tell myself.

@justkeeprunning5 I have the Chico next2me which was great last time round 😊

Ugh it's hard isn't it @DobbieFreeElf. When do you make that call and when are you over worrying. I've definitely noticed that it's way more obvious when I'm sat at my desk than when I'm rushing about though. A very cold glass of water helps too I heard?

@justkeeprunning5 - yep, had a gap from booking in on 13 March to three days ago seeing the midwife at 27+3, felt such a long slog. But even then they didn't do much to be honest. Listened to heart beat of course but no weight measurement or fundal height. Apparently the trust has decided there is no evidence those things are useful 🤷🏻‍♀️ So if you are in the same London trust as me you aren't missing anything don't worry!

I also went snuzpod on the basis of look and the fact the cream and wood matched our bedroom. After much research I would say there's almost no difference between that, Chicco and the Tutti Bambini one.

I have been incredibly lucky with my midwife and I'm so cross you haven't. I saw her at 8, 16, 21, 25 plus at least 3 heartbeat checks. Will see her again at 29 (as have my scan at 28 so seemed pointless to see her the same week) and then more after that. My pregnancy has complications (and I'm insanely anxious) but how can the care be so different?

@DobbieFreeElf if you are at all unsure, ring them. The last time I rang, they told me cold drinks etc are a total myth and you need to trust your instincts. When i went in to be checked they said they would rather see me every day than for there to be even once when I didn't go in.

Having said that- the quality of my movements at the moment is definitely different depending on the day. Sometimes proper thumps, sometimes rolls, sometimes not a lot except a sort of awareness of her. I guess they're still so small that they only need to shift a bit and it is a different feeling altogether.

Thanks guys! I sat down and ate a chocolate brownie (you know that really annoying advert by Fibre One at the moment where they have changed the lyrics to Total Eclipse Of The Heart and sing “TURN AROUND BARBARA... I’VE FINALLY FOUND THE RIGHT SNAAAACK” DH hates the advert so obviously I bought the brownies! Anyway...) and the bean woke up and started dancing (maybe cos I was humming the tune whilst eating?! 🤣🤣)

Trying to tread that fine line between observant and neurotic! As are we all it sounds!

@October2020 I hear from friends that SnuzPod is a good and we prefer the look of it over others as it will match the bedroom, so may just go for it!

It is a shame about the differences in maternity care, i know they will always be there for me if I had any huge concerns but I would like the reassurance of being seen every month or so too. Ah well.

Agree @DobbieFreeElf about trying to be somewhere between observant and neurotic, I know that if I allow myself to fall into the latter that I will not dog myself out of it. I know people say the cold drink / sweet treat doesn’t make any difference but I’m sure it wakes my little one up - I suppose that and the fact that I then concentrate on the movements / have a relaxing lie down also helps . I tend to feel mine being most active late morning / mid afternoon at my desk and late evening when sat in bed reading.

I think there is a lot to be said for trusting our own instincts - if you're worried, trust that, but if you think you need to wait a bit longer and have a drink first, then trust that too! I think our bodies know a lot more than we do in many ways...

I've got Tutti bambini cozy for upstairs and Chicco hug 4 in 1 for downstairs to keep the baby away from our doggo.
The midwife said I'm going to see her every 3-4 weeks now when I reached 28w. All of a sudden feels like too many appointments 😂 joking I'm happy to have growth checks. My bean is active early in the morning and usually late at night. If I sleep too much and miss the morning movement I usually get into observant mode and do feel him move a bit here and there during the day. I agree trust your instinct and it's better to be overly caution I guess.

Was also reading about pacifiers not all of them are equally good! We'll go for a natural rubber with no colour.. a bit paranoid about plastics since apparently this can be the reason of our fertility issue MFI

I haven't bought any dummies yet and am unsure but there is a suggestion that they reduce the SIDS risk so we might... let us know if you decide on a brand Viletta x

@Viletta great that the appointments will be more frequent now, I guess it is the time when it is really needed too rather than earlier so seems like the right thing to do.

Not sure on dummies, I didn’t ever have one so hoping to get by without and then avoid the problem of needing to wean the baby off them. But having said that at 3am I will most likely try anything so maybe it’s a good idea do have a few about just in case! Interesting with the Plastic link to MFI.

Also will depend on your baby, I tried to get DS to take one but he was completely disinterested but then when everyone else was going through the pain of having a baby who wanted one but couldn’t put it in themselves waking constantly or trying to take it away from an opinionated toddler I was very very glad! And if you’re planning on breastfeeding adult can make it harder/ cause confusion. Personally I wouldn’t plan on it right from the start, I’d keep it in my arsenal for down the line when you’re at your wits end!

I used to love dummies and probably looking forward to having one again 😂

Weird evening. Had a 3d scan and absolutely hated it. Got super upset, actually cried! Baby is completely fine so I've no idea what is wrong with me. The 2d pictures were cute and we saw her yawning but the 3d pictures were really weird and ugly! She couldn't get a decent angle so we only got one photo of her face and makes her nose look really wide and high.

They're going to do it again in two weeks to see if we can get a better angle but I'm so upset tonight and not really sure why!

PS I know I am being RIDICULOUS because what matters is that she is healthy so please do tell me what an idiot I'm being!

@October2020 oh darling, that's absolutely fine to be upset. Our emotions are so pumped up and amplified at the moment. You wanted a 3d scan to see your beautiful baby and bond with them even more but was disappointed with the quality of the image. It's okay to be upset. To be honest most 3d pictures look like absolute monstrosity, it's not a perfect technology. I get so easily upset and teary about all sorts of things these days too.

Ah @October2020 I think that would upset me too! Strange things are setting me off just now! I'm not a fan of 3D scans either - not sure I've ever seen a cute one! Xxx

Ah guys thank you for being kind and not just telling me I'm a knob I love this group xx

I think it definitely is partially that my emotions are super heightened at the moment. I am crying over lots of very random things (like my husband wanting some of my chips when I was still hungry!!!) so I think I would be thinking a bit more rationally without those hormones!

Just spoken to my lovely community midwife who says that she thinks they always look seriously weird...! And that the ones online are almost certainly photoshopped. She reassured me that the NHS sonographers would have told me if there was anything wrong with her (visible on a scan obv) and to try to let it go!

These were yesterday's pictures... 2d one is normal (although I think she is inheriting my awful long nose!) but the 3d one really freaks me out...

@October2020 I find the 3D scans a bit odd too, think it’s something to do with the colour. I haven’t ever seen one that looks nice (and all have turned out to be super cute babies!). Great that you have had reassurances from your midwife today.

Our emotions also play a huge part at the moment. I am either sat on google worrying about something, laughing and really upbeat or crying over nothing. There seems to be no middle ground!

We will probably have a private scan in a few weeks so my husband can be there as all he has seen is the 7 week flickering dot on a screen and I think it will be 3D so preparing myself for tears also!

@justkeeprunning5 I definitely think the colour didn't help... it actually reminded me of stillborn babies and the colour they can be and I think that really freaked me out (even though obv she was moving around and clearly fine).

Think I should have stuck to a 2d one! Oops!

Hope you all had a lovely weekend? I did quite a lot in the garden, pelvis not thanking me now! I had my 28wk midwife appointment this morning and all is well. Took a while to find baby's heartbeat with doppler because it was tucked in behind placenta (but I could feel it moving while she was looking so it wasn't scary).

I just spent an hour looking for my phone - found it under a bush in the garden 🤷🏻‍♀️. Is this baby brain? Combined with clumsiness ... this is going to be interesting (I dropped TWO things down toilet at weekend and spill food on myself pretty much every meal now 😆)

Hello everyone. Just returned from a five day Cotswolds break (guess you could call it a baby moon?!) and catching up. Nice to get away for a bit although I had my mum's fears/warnings about the virus knocking around in my ears!

@October2020 I'm totally with you, we saw other people's pictures of 3D scans and thought they all looked weird/squashed etc and don't do baby justice at all. Sorry it was so upsetting though especially as you presumably were looking forward to it! The 2D one is perfect though 😃

@Chooklass that's hilarious! Why was it under / bush?! 😂

I think most of you are anterior placenta but does anyone else have it at the back out the way and if so, is anyone starting to feel like they are in Alien?! The movements feel so near to the surface, hard lumps keep moving around under my hand and I'm just waiting for an arm to break through 💪🏻 I'm starting to worry that there's not enough amniotic fluid in there, it honestly feels one thin layer of skin down!!

@Wimbledon1 It must have fallen out of my pocket when I was feeding the chickens?! So lucky it hadn't got buried as they are constantly digging around in there!

I'm starting to get a bit of that but just around the edges of bump - it's really weird!! Must be super weird when it's like that all over! Mw said my uterus will be growing wider and taller than placenta from now so I should feel more of that (I've mainly just been feeling movements really low down so far).

Glad you had a lovely break! We are visiting my parents up north at weekend and swinging past friends to pick up baby hand me downs on the way. A bit anxious about virus but also looking forward to being somewhere different!

@Wimbledon1 I'm anterior placenta but feel the baby all over and it does feel like I'm in the Alien film 😂 I think it'll get worse soon as he'll be running out of space.

High anterior here too and feel the baby all of the time but always pretty low down / to the sides. Baby has been very busy the last few days and can see my top rippling as it moves about!

@Wimbledon1 sounds wonderful! We have a week off in September and really need to book up an Air BnB somewhere within a few hours drive of where we live. Love the Cotswolds.