Pregnancy after MMC

[sadtoday21]

Hi everyone! I moved our thread over here so we can all keep in touch as we continue on this journey.

Many congratulations again to @Amanda81 on the birth of your beautiful baby girl Holly! Our first baby on the thread. Also tagging the regulars @Catconfusion @Kiki061190 @bananamonkey. Newcomers welcome as well!

So lovely to hear from you @Amanda81, you are a super woman for working at the same time, do take it easy though. I think it's hard for the Dads sometimes, especially if you are BF but soon she'll be more interactive and he''ll get there, it's lovely to see the bond between them grow so I'm sure it won't be long. My DH did all the baths and lots of nappy changes which helped I think. Here we have Baby Banks to donate to, maybe you could google those? If not your local food bank should be able to direct you somewhere. It's crazy how fast they outgrow their clothes!

That's great you have another scan soon @Catconfusion and can hopefully make more firm decisions about your birth plan, I can't believe how fast it's coming now! I have my first hypnobirthing refresher class on Sunday, eek! My colleague in Belgium sent me a some cute baby gifts yesterday which was unexpectedly lovely.

Yes @bananamonkey it’s lovely to know we’ll have a bit more certainty soon!

What a lovely colleague to send you some nice things. I hope the hypnobirthing class goes well. I do wish I was younger with less complication and could have less intervention. I’ve read some information about hypnobirthing as it would still probably help in my situation. Xx

@bananamonkey awww so sweet you got some gifts. How have you been feeling?

@Catconfusion I’ve heard great things about hypnobirthing 😍

Yes I think hypnobirthing techniques can be useful no matter what kind of birth you have, it’s mostly about learning how to get in your calm zone and have the confidence to know that you can get through it, no matter what happens. DH told me he used one of the breathing techniques the other day 🤣 It’s also good for relaxation.

All fine here, just tired and a bit stiff but think that’s because I haven’t done much exercise this week. Got some heartburn but that seems to be bread-related, also my belly button is almost an outie 🤢 Next MW appointment in 2 weeks so need to decide about a home birth before then I think.

Hey ladies, I just wondered if anyone has had any purple blotches on their legs? I looked down last night to find them on worse on the left thigh but also on the right. They don’t seem spidery enough to be varicose veins or silvery enough to be stretch marks. I’ve got the midwife Tuesday but not sure whether to see the doctor tomorrow. Xx

Hi @Catconfusion sorry no I’ve never had that, hope it’s just a fluid retention this or something else not serious but I’d call GP if it’s still there x

Thanks @bananamonkey I showed a pharmacist friend who thinks it’s PUPP which is a harmless pregnancy related rash. It’s much better today so will hold out for midwife on Tuesday. Also got a painful lump in the top of my bump and I’m wondering if it’s abdominal separation. It definitely feels like there’s this lovely break in the second trimester where worries reduce then suddenly all this other stuff comes up.

I had my first anti natal class last night and it was really good. Everyone else was a bit younger than us and low risk. One lady had a bump as big as mine so I felt at least like the huge lump I’m carrying isn’t that abnormal. During the class I felt the baby move from a diagonal traverse position to head at the top of my bump so he’s well and truly breech now. I might try some of the spinning baby websites techniques to try and turn him. We still have a couple of weeks for him to turn and it may actually be a good thing if his position helps us decide on delivery.

Happy Friday everyone! Xx

Hi everyone, sorry for the long silence, I've been struggling a lot with anxiety and I've been reading all of your updates, but just not had the mental energy to post. I'm 38+2 today and, while I'm feeling physically absolutely fine, the stress of this pregnancy is really starting to get to me. I just want him to be here and safe in my arms now. A lot of my anxiety surrounds movements and I don't feel that anyone can help with this, the baby is quiet or I can't feel enough or I don't know what. It's just a constant worry that I have. And now all the news of the coronavirus is making me feel even worse and like I shouldn't be leaving the house at all. I feel constantly stressed and I can't relax at all. So I haven't been posting much because I don't want to stress others out.

In other news, I have a midwife appointment on Tuesday (she's going to do a sweep, hopefully) and first home visit on Wednesday. I don't really know what to expect from the home visitor, but I guess it's just a formality really.

@Amanda81 it's so great to hear from you and I'm so glad you are doing well. Sorry to hear that DH hasn't fully bonded yet, everyone seems to say it just takes longer for dads, but I'm sure he will get there soon. It's definitely true that men don't interact with babies in the same way as us, but that's normal and natural and they form their own special relationship in their own way. Do you have any advice on breast feeding or bottle feeding? I'm wondering if I should be doing/buying anything now to prepare...I'm clueless and I'm half afraid I won't know how to feed my baby :/.

@Catconfusion I'm glad it turned out to just be a harmless rash, I haven't had anything like this so far. Are you going to try swimming to turn him? I've heard that can sometimes work. It's a shame you may not be able to have the birth you envisioned, but on the other hand, many people say very good thing about c-sections and it might be easier for you, all things considered. Either way, you will be well taken care of and it's great that you are being monitored so closely.

@bananamonkey are you thinking of a home birth then? I never considered it, but then it's my first so I would be terrified! I just got my outtie finally, so you popped before me! Sorry to hear about the heartburn, it's odd that bread would cause it. Are you allergic to gluten?

@Kiki061190 how are all your preparations going? You seem very prepared to have already washed baby clothes and have everything packed! I have fully packed my hospital bag now, but I still haven't washed/sorted the clothes nor finished the nursery...need to get on these things this weekend! Have you started a hypnobirthing course or are you just considering it?

Happy Saturday ladies!

@bananamonkey Oh the heartburn is awful! I never suffered with it until pregnancy and sometimes it makes me feel physically sick. You’re almost at the finishing line with work as well!!!! My belly button has also almost popped out as well which my OH thinks is hilarious 🤣

@Catconfusion Amazing that you had your classes. I think it’s so good you can tell what position baby is in. Mine was having a really good move last night and now I have no idea what she’s sitting like. All I know is I can now breathe a little bit easier! I haven’t experienced purple blotches on my leg but I have noticed I have a few bruises on my legs and I have no idea where they’ve came from.

@sadtoday21 Oh I’m so sorry! You’ve had so much anxiety surrounding this pregnancy and I just want your little boy here in your arms to give you some relief from it all. You’re not alone, I’ve been reading up about the Coronavirus with interest as I’m due in just over 6.5 weeks and if this gets worse hospitals could be stretched. I work with a lot of people as well, they’ve armed us all with individual hand sanitiser. There’s no cases confirmed in Scotland yet but I’m realistic it might just be a matter of time. I am about as organised as I can be until my nursery furniture comes. Hoping to have everything done by 38 weeks so I can enjoy relaxing the last two weeks. Also don’t give yourself a hard time about worrying about movements, you are right to monitor them. My baby can be quiet in the morning and it can make me worry at times as well. That’s your motherly instinct! Baby comes first to us and it is completely natural to want to make sure they are ok. I’ve washed the hospital bag clothes and vests. Today I’ll start the short sleeved bodysuits. Taking a small task every other day so I don’t feel overwhelmed. I hope you can speak to your midwife and maybe bring your induction forward if you don’t go naturally, it’s unfair on your mental health and baby boy is full term now. Sending lots of love to you 💓

Hey @sadtoday21 - you are almost there. You have done so well to get to 38+2. Anxiety is totally normal at this stage, there's a lot going to happen in the next few weeks and a lot of reflection goes on. Try not to worry, you are on the home straight. I went into labour 38+3...same could happen to you. I must admit to reflecting after holly was here that all the worrying was for nothing...doesn't help anything me saying this, but you will feel the same she your little boy arrives. I'm formula feeding all the time now. The breastfeeding didn't really work for me/holly. My nipples are quite flat (apparently quite common) and she was struggling to latch. I found this quite stressful and frustrating. I was going to pump but it felt like I would be up all of the time trying to produce milk, when I had other things to consider (like working). She is thriving on the formula and is happy enough. I make sure I get plenty of skin to skin with her and take plenty of baths with her to make up for any loss of touch. You will find your groove, but don't put too much pressure on yourself...there is no right or wrong. Also, be prepared for the MWs to man handle your boobs! I wasn't prepared for this and it was a little weird and made me quite uncomfortable. Are you working after you have delivered? Have you imagined what it is going to be like once your LO is here? I found that I hadn't imagined at all and was almost in shock when she arrived. Took a few days/a week to come to terms that I was a mum. I hope you are okay. Im 11 weeks in now, so if you have any questions ask away...I can certainly share my experiences xxx

Hey @sadtoday21 how are you feeling today? Each day you get through is another closer to meeting your baby. Not long until midwife too so hopefully when you discuss how you’ve been feeling she can offer some reassurance and help for you. It’s normal to be anxious at this point but completely understandable those feelings are amplified for you and it must be tough.

I think we will see how baby is at the midwife appointment tomorrow and the scan on Friday. We will go swimming I think if he’s still head up amongst other things. Apparently every chance he’ll still turn, not that it matters if it is a c section. I think I’m ok with having the surgery and that always was the plan. It’s just the further in I’ve got the more I’ve felt an impulse to experience natural childbirth. It’s odd really as I’ve always been a bit squeamish about it. Also I’m worried about complications and it’s clear from research I’ve done the more interventions the more risks. I can see why people want to go the completely natural route. I guess in the end it’s weighing up what’s physically bearable and the risks. Also many mums are more at risk without interventions.

@Kiki061190 how are you feeling now? Luckily the rash has died down. I think it was PUPP which is a pregnancy related rash that can come and go. I too have unexplained bruises so maybe the skin is a bit more sensitive.

As for position of baby, I’m pretty sure he’s moved a bit. His movements are so strong now. We can’t feel the head now so he may be traverse. It is really difficult to know where they are. I just keep feeling him lump around in there. It’s really jarring. I guess being a bigger baby it’s feasible he’s over 7 pounds now so probably is more powerful. He’s facing back so not kicks as such, just moving backwards and forwards. I swear he was head butting the top of my tummy with the back of his head over the weekend.

@bananamonkey how are the hypnobirthing refresher classes going? I think it’s lovely you’re going for a home birth. If we do decide to go for an induction I will read up on hypnobirthing as the principles seen useful.

So we’ve done a day and a half of the baby and birth course with one more half day to go. I’ve really enjoyed it so far. It has brought it home how unpredictable labour can be and that understanding how interventions work is important as we may need to make decisions on the spot. I’m a little concerned about the drugs. My Dad and gran are both allergic to morphine and the two they offer are morphine derivatives. I’ve never had anything like that before so wonder if I’m allergic as obviously not a good time to find out. Also didn’t realise just how much an epidural can delay the birth and lead to instrumental delivery. It also lowers blood pressure which is a concern for me as mine is really low anyway. All stuff to consider before our appointment on Friday.

@Amanda81 it sounds like Holly is thriving and you made the best decision regarding breast feeding. It does seem quite tricky sometimes and like you say, you need a life too. The dream seems to be a combination of breast and bottle but I can appreciate this is challenging. I have a friend who won’t even entertain a bottle, it’s breast all the way for her baby but she’s tethered to him and getting quite down after 9 months as she can’t leave him for long. I definitely want to avoid this.

I can imagine it is a shock when they’re here. After all that worry and going through everything we have in particular it must be surreal. DH and I have been talking a lot about him being here but I’m sure it will be different when it actually happens.

In the next couple of months we’ll all have our babies here. It’s so exciting! Xx

Good morning @Catconfusion ☺️ I am feeling ok, a little exhausted but I have a very busy next 2 weeks at work with a lot of hours to work so trying to set a goal to just get past that. It’s so hard knowing what position the baby is in, I’m certain baby girl has moved position! Have felt her move a lot these past few days and I’m wondering if that is because she’s getting bigger. I don’t get kicks either, it’s more just limbs moving about 😂 it’s crazy to think we will all have our little ones here by the end of next month roughly. OH and I are much like yourself and DH, we just keep saying next month we’ll be a 3! It’s hard to imagine but we’re so excited 💓

@kiki061190 it’s great she’s nice and active in there. It is a little terrifying when they have a quiet spell but I do find those bigger movements so much more reassuring. I suspect she’s probably grown a lot. When is your next appointment? Xx

Good morning, hope you all had good weekends.

So sorry you're feeling so stressed @sadtoday21, I hope the MW appointment tomorrow can help and maybe they can offer some help, a friend of mine suffered really badly with ante-natal anxiety and ended up having an elective section (although her baby's head was also huge, he probably couldn't have been born naturally anyway), you are on the home stretch now, you can do it x

Sounds like you're doing the best thing @Amanda81, I have to honestly say BF is one of the hardest things I've ever done, it gets much easier but the low moments are low and my DD would never take a bottle so the relentlessness gets to you, you just have to do what works for you x

Glad the rash wasn't anything to be concerned about @Catconfusion and your antenatal class was good, hope you MW appt goes well and there's still time for him to move.

I have the same thing in the mornings @Kiki061190 it's her quietest time, well done for sorting all your things!

Hypnobirthing was really good thank you and a nice reminder of the practicalities, it was also a good chance for me to DH to talk about the birth as we haven't really done so till now. Got one more session next week then I just need to make time to practice the relaxation and breathing.

I think I'm set on trying for a home birth now, I wouldn't have done it first time around because of the unknown but having had a straightforward birth and being low risk (and now I know what to expect) it should be a good choice for me. I am buying a pool off a friend so just need to get a new liner for it and discuss it with the MW so she can refer me to the new HB team we have here. I am only 10 mins from the hospital so transfer shouldn't be an issue and if I need to go to the MLBU again I'd still be happy with that outcome.

DH got some things out of the loft yesterday so I've been washing some vests and babygros and the mattress covers from the pram and Snuzpod. Also discovered some Groswaddles I'd totally forgotten about, and so many teeny scratch mitts and socks, they're adorable!

@bananamonkey sounds like a great plan to me. It must feel so different the second time around having experienced it. There does seem a strong focus on home birth in the area which I think is great for those who are low risk and feel they can do it. Great as well that the classes have opened up a conversation about it with DH.

My antenatal classes have really opened my eyes to how much easier it can be with right mindset and planning. After all our bodies are designed to do this we just can sometimes lose sight of this. Of course in some cases interventions are the safest option so it does seem it’s a case of weighing everything up.

We’re still not decided on the c section or induction but I’m not wanting to go over 40 weeks due to my age so I guess it’s less likely to be a completely natural birth. Navigating the potential risks of medication, epidurals and surgery is really hard. In most cases it’s pretty safe but any increased risk is a worry even if small. I think we need the midwife appointment tomorrow and consultant on Friday to get a plan in place. Xx

@Catconfusion Next appointment is next Wednesday. When is your next one?

@sadtoday21 Hey hun, how are you today? Feeling any better?

@bananamonkey I feel I wait to feel a movement in the morning then get up for work! So sweet you have got some stuff out. I’ve washed the baby vests. Do you recommend washing the sleepsuits ect?

Hi all 🤗 Had a BFP on Saturday after a miscarriage in November very nervous checking every time i go to the loo its gonna be a long nine months, partner has been very quite about the pregnancy says he just wants to wait n see what happens, just want us to be excited about the news and enjoy it. Do u finally relax at anytime ? X

@Kiki061190 not too long then. I have midwife tomorrow then consultant on Friday. Should get a better idea about birth plan by the end of the week. Someone on another thread had a baby today who looked as big as ours on the growth scans but was just under 7 pounds at 37 weeks so not nearly as big as predictions so we’re hoping ours will be similar xx

@ann87 welcome to the thread. I’m now 34 weeks pregnant. I would say it gets easier when you feel baby moving and after the 20 week scan. There’s still anxiety though and I don’t honestly think it will end until maybe the baby is born and then there are other anxieties.

I really hope this is it for you! Xx

Thank you! I have a 6 year old who I had through ivf, never fell pregnant naturally before then twice in four months so been abit of a rollercoaster x

@Catconfusion Those growth scans can be so inaccurate! Baby boy might not be as big as you think he is going to be. I’m still wondering if it’s going to be a March baby for you 💓

@Ann87 welcome! I’m the same as @catconfusion I felt more relaxed after the 20 week scan and after I started feeling baby move!

@Ann87 do you have pcos? I know in my case it got better with age. This is my third pregnancy in just over a year.

@Kiki061190 yes notoriously inaccurate but it would be odd if he’s much smaller since he’s at the huge end rather than just big. Do you know what, I’m thinking March! I’d love it to be Mothers day but that’s probably unlikely. Xx

@Catconfusion Oh that would be a lovely date! I’m hoping to not go overdue because I’m uncomfortable now so can’t imagine what an extra 2 weeks would be like!!! It’s funny you mentioned watery discharge the other day. Yesterday I was in work and felt a gush as you described it, went to the loo and it was really watery discharge. I’ve had something similar again this morning. It’s definitely discharge but odd how it’s so watery! I would have freaked out had you not posted about it.

@Kiki061190 I know, it’s just completely inconceivable the idea of being two weeks over. I can’t even imagine how uncomfortable that would be.

Just be vigilante with the discharge. It is completely normal at this point and I was surprised at how it gushed but do get it checked out if need be. I was told to come back if it happened again just in case. They honestly don’t mind at the hospital doing a quick swab and sending you away confident your waters are in tact. They can break very slowly sometimes, not that it’s common but possible.

So we had our 34 week midwife appointment. Baby still breech. My blood pressure has taken a nosedive probably due to the extra blood flow. The midwife said if it continues just bare in mind an epidural lowers blood pressure so I might not be able to move much in labour If I have one and she would recommend if induced. Movement is vital to protect my hips so a bit worrying. Also if my waters need breaking they need to put me in stirrups which I know I can’t do. We had a really good talk and she doesn’t seem to recommend an induction in my case. The risks of complication are stacking up: over 40, big baby, breech, polyhydramnios, low blood pressure, arthritis in my hips. She said it’s more likely an induction would lead to me being immobilised and potentially injured from instrumental birth. Also likely to take 3-5 days as first baby. If there is damage during the birth I’d then potentially need a spinal block or general anaesthetic with surgery to fix. Surely with all that in mind easier to just have a c section! Anyway we’re thinking we’ll ask to book a date for an elective and see if any of the additional risk factors get better. Apparently they do a scan just before the section to see what position baby is in and if he’s engaged with no extra fluid it can be cancelled and I can be admitted for an induction. So much to think about. If I had just one of the risk factors I’d try the induction. Obviously the dream is to have a quick natural labour.

How are you getting on @sadtoday21 Did they do the sweep? Fingers crossed something starts soon! Xx

Apologies in advance for not replying in full to everyone! I've been up all night and in a lot of pain.

@Catconfusion it sounds like your appointment went really well and you got some good answers about the birth. I know it's hard to weigh all these factors, but you still have some time hopefully to think it through and in the end it sounds like nature may decide to take its course anyway.

I am 39 weeks today. I didn't have the sweep at my appointment yesterday - the midwife said she would come to my house tomorrow to do it (never heard of this? seems odd, but I guess more comfortable). BUT I've had really bad cramps all night since midnight until this morning (bad enough that I couldn't sleep through it and I have to breathe through it, really painful). The cramps come and go and I don't think there is any tightening in my belly, just really really bad cramps, worse than period ones. As soon as it stops, I feel totally normal. Are these early contractions? Could it be something else?