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Connect with mums-to-be with similar due dates to share experiences and support.

Due June 2020: Thread 3

996 replies

Lemonysherbet · 19/12/2019 06:55

Setting up a new one :)

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13
Pegase · 19/01/2020 20:52

Yes pelvic pain just starting here. Was pretty sore last pregnancy but was still able to walk- just a bit more slowly some of the time!

AmyMaria2 · 19/01/2020 20:54

@newbyxx @Smiffette good luck for your scans tomorrow I can't wait to hear about them! 😍 x

UKtoSK · 19/01/2020 22:46

I want a natural delivery if possible but I am open to pain relief if having a long labour. Want to avoid episiotomy. I want to be fairly relaxed about my birth plan though because I don’t want added stress of things not going exactly to plan. The one thing I absolutely don’t want used is forceps. My brother was born with forceps used and it has always been suspected that that is what caused his epilepsy.

hjbows88 · 20/01/2020 07:44

@UKtoSK similar to me - no forceps or ventouse and no episiotomy! In terms of pain relief I’m going to see how I feel at the time as it’s so hard to plan that! I have a tens machine to use at home for early labour though!

hjbows88 · 20/01/2020 07:47

Thanks @Twittlebee - I’m under a consultant and they’re aware of my choices. They’ve offered me an elective and I’ve got to go back to discuss this with them at 32 weeks. That’s not my preferred option but they know I’m serious and that assisted delivery is absolutely off the table. The recovery from assisted vs section is not the main issues driving my decision.

I hope your scan gives you positive news and some reassurance about your cervix - must be very worrying for you x

newbyxx · 20/01/2020 07:57

Sooo nervous for today 😬, such a milestone I hope he's healthy and everything is at it should be 🤞🏻🤞🏻will let you all know after I've had scan 💙 good luck @Smiffette x

Zeldetta · 20/01/2020 08:05

@hjbows88 totally agree with you about assisted delivery. Had forceps for my first birth and am still in pain and unable to walk very far 18 months later.

I’m also a lawyer and the obstetric clin neg cases I’ve seen are basically all vaginal, with an emphasis on failure to move to a caesarean.

I agree straightforward vaginal would be my preference but sadly any vaginal birth comes with a risk of forceps (my only birth plan last time was no forceps!) and I’m not taking that chance so I’m electing a section. I’m far more comfortable with those risks.

Zeldetta · 20/01/2020 08:05

Good luck with the scans everyone! Flowers

Busylizzie85 · 20/01/2020 08:14

My scans at 2pm today I’m so nervous, just want to see and hear everything’s ok!
Good luck everyone else who has scans today also x

chocolate26 · 20/01/2020 08:40

Good luck to everyone having scans today! 😊

I hadn't thought about forceps or things like that, I presumed they were all safe 😳 what happens if you refuse forceps? Do they then do a c section?

Smiffette · 20/01/2020 09:08

Thanks @newbyxx hope yours goes well later!
Mine went all well everything looked fine just couldn't get one view of the spine so will come back in 7-14 days. The lady said what she could see all looked fine so nothing to worry about, just for completeness they need the final view!
And she's still a she so glad that got confirmed!

20 weeks today!

Zeldetta · 20/01/2020 09:41

@chocolate26 I think it depends - in my case, baby’s heartrate was dropping dangerously so I was basically told she needed to come out immediately. I suppose if I refused they would have to do a section but it would maybe have take longer.

If baby is far down the birth canal and you need forceps because you can’t push them out, I think a section is dangerous because you would have to try to push the baby back up through the birth canal.

Sadly I don’t think it’s as simple as if you refuse they’ll do a section - I’m not a doctor however so check with your midwife if you have concerns.

I had a bad experience with forceps but not everyone does, and of course some people have long lasting birth injuries that don’t have forceps. I’m speaking about my experience but I’m not trying to say they’re all bad or that people shouldn’t have them, just that I don’t want to risk having them again given my past experience x

hjbows88 · 20/01/2020 10:07

Thanks for sharing @Zeldetta - you’ve articulated the same concerns I have, although this is my first baby so I don’t have the additional experience you have to draw on.

I haven’t ruled out an elective as I am very concerned about the use of any instruments and/or episiotomy (was told by consultant last week that in almost all instrumental assisted deliveries episiotomy is required).

@chocolate26 My consultant said it’s never to let to do the section however it becomes more complicated the further you are into labour. If you refuse assistance from the outset (in birth plan and at the time you arrive at hospital in labour) they won’t force it on you - you have to sign a consent form for assisted delivery and you can obvs refuse at which point they’ll go to section, but if you let them know in advance they should try and monitor the situation to avoid you getting anywhere near needing forceps etc. The issue is that they can’t predict everything and baby might get stuck or have a problem at the very last injure so they push you to go for forceps to get it out (as @Zeldetta experienced.

There are more risks with a late section including uterine perforation and other complications - often you bleed more with emergency than planned section.

Planned section isn’t risk free of course but there is more control and the risks are more known. Vaginal birth is totally unpredictable. For many vaginal birth goes well and is straightforward, but for a significant number it isn’t and hence forceps etc are needed or emergency section.

I think it’s for each woman to do her research, talk to midwives etc and see what they’re most comfortable with. What I want/the risks I’m prepared to accept may well be different for lots of other women within and outside this group :)

Pegase · 20/01/2020 13:34

Just to add another anecdote to the pile- I had an episiotomy (not an instrumental delivery but it looked like I was going to tear too much) and it was absolutely fine. None of my childbirth issues related to that and I barely noticed the healing to be honest. No complications related to it then or since.

Twittlebee · 20/01/2020 13:45

Yeah I think @hjbows88 is right that we all need to do our own research as it so varies for each woman what they want / expect / previous history etc.

Some of the talk around birth can be so inflammatory too. I recently asked on social media about ELCS vs VBAC and oh my the two tribes came out in force. Freaked me out more tbh!

newbyxx · 20/01/2020 14:10

Scan went perfectly, sonographer seen everything she needed to and I even felt him whilst she was scanning 💙, under consultant for low Papp a and will be being induced at 39 weeks x

umabb · 20/01/2020 14:12

@newbyxx great news!
Mine is next Monday! Getting nerves !

umabb · 20/01/2020 14:13

@newbyxx sorry didn't know what was low papa a but sounds all under control

mrssunshinexxx · 20/01/2020 14:32

Amazing @newbyxx I am really excited for my scan but it seems ages away on 6th feb anyone else have one round then ?

newbyxx · 20/01/2020 15:03

@umabb it's a hormone level to do with the placenta puts me at risk of having a small baby x

Blizy · 20/01/2020 15:11

Fab news newbyxx
My 20 week scan isn't until the 12th feb, seems like a life time to
Wait!

rainbow1982 · 20/01/2020 15:12

Hi ladies, I have my 20 week scan tomorrow, feeling really nervous but it sounds like lots of us do the same tensing/breath holding thing before it!!

Really love being part of this group and reading everyone's thoughts on birth etc, i desperately want to avoid forceps but didn't realise that was an option as I only thought they were used if there was serious risk to the baby and they needed to be out straight away?

Also, any of you who are first time mums have u got ur nursery ready yet? We've been working REALLY hard on ours, it's the 2nd bedroom in our 2 bed flat and hadn't been decorated for about 8 years! 🙄the paintwork was horrendous but we've blitzed it's all now, done it beautiful neutral colour, pale green and off white (were not finding out gender) I just wondered if we're a bit ahead of ourselves as I still worry something will go wrong? Just to let u know I'm not just bonkers anxious for nothing we've had 3 losses so a lot of heartbreak and I'm just wary.

Lots of luck to everyone with upcoming 20 week scans, hope all is well 🤞🤰🏼👶

Busylizzie85 · 20/01/2020 15:13

My scan all went well, she kept wriggling around so took a while to get all the pictures, but they said everything looked normal! 😊

Smiffette · 20/01/2020 15:24

@rainbow1982 I am planning on freshening our spare room up this weekend, paint and skirting needs doing... I have an exam on Thursday so just need to get that out of the way!
Still got some of our stuff in boxes in there which we really need to go through and just bin as much as possible!
I think the first thing on my list after painting is to get some new black out curtains... the sun rises on that side and the curtains are so light in there!

Cb31 · 20/01/2020 15:26

Glad to hear about scans going well!! And good luck to those with scan coming up.
Finally started looking at prams and I think we're gonna go for the oyster 3. Has anyone else got it or thinking about getting that pram? We can get it in a package with the cybex cloud z car seat which looks amazing.
I've not thought about labour yet at all, putting it off for as long as possible 🤦🏼‍♀️ x