September 2019 #11

[Stroan]

We're really racking up the threads!

@Megan2018 how did you find the NCT course? We’ve got our first session on Sunday and I’m hoping it will be helpful!

Just had a leaflet through about lots of road closures around our area due to an Ironman triathlon in September - just happens to be on our due date! I remember it from last year and traffic was a nightmare! 😬

@Megan2018 ooh thanks for posting that! Funnily enough, I’ve been writing mine this morning so it’s good to see someone else’s to compare. My plan is almost identical to yours! 😂

@Puglover88
It was ok, glad I did it. Our group was very small though (only 5 couples including us) and I am not sure we really clicked as a group and not sure if we will meet up. They are all due before me so have been meeting up already, but I'm still at work and 2 of them have already had their babies,.
The info was useful though and I did learn things, I still feel totally unprepared for the baby care side of things but it was helpful to voice some of the concerns in my head about birth.
So overall it was worth it - but I'm not expecting to get the friendship from it that others have had.

Megan thanks for posting that, really useful to see it all set out (particularly since it reflects my thoughts pretty much exactly!).

Sorry to hear your DH is being an arse.

Thank you for the warm welcome everyone and thank you @Puglover88 that’ll be really helpful, I have no idea what to get.

Thanks for posting that @Megan2018 I had no idea where to start.

@TheCraicDealer my bumps definitely popped, it’s still dinky but I think that’s because baby is lying more towards my back. But as you say, it seemed to happen overnight. I went from a flat stomach to a bump. It was crazy

Saw the consultant, was a different one this time despite me asking for the lead one again. Passed GTT again, he said no idea why I had to repeat it. I'm also anaemic so he sent me for another blood test. I need to actually remember to take my iron tablets now.
He asked me what date my elcs is as the notes said it was booked, I said no idea! So he chased it and they already booked it for 38 weeks so Friday 30th Aug. It's great to finally have a date but it's so far away! I feel like I might aswell hold out for September! He said no reason to bring it forward either as everything is going fine.
I asked what happens if I go into labour before then and he just smirked and said well then you go with it and have your babies. Then questioned why I wanted an ELCS anyway so I told him the reason and he just smirked at me again. Totally felt like he was being an unsupportive knob head. I'm glad the elcs had already been approved as I'm guessing I would have had a fight on my hands with him!
So 23 days to go!

Thanks everyone- the planner in me hates not having "a date". Or even "a week". But sure, it's all part of it. Just hope I do get a few days at home with the feet up before the big event!

Megan2018 I need to get on with my birth plan so that's really useful. I mentioned it at my last MW appointment and she sort of sighed and went "to be honest the only thing you really need to put down is about the cord cutting and injection, anything else is- [shoulder shrug]". And this is midwife-led care ffs! I thought they'd be all about the birth plan and making sure you felt respected and all that guff. Really filled me with confidence  Quite glad I've chosen to go to bigger local MLU attached to the labour ward, frankly.

IAintWroteNoPoetry I think your situation is more common than you'd think. Even my own DM (who did find out in the first trimester) was convinced DTwin and I were just a stomach ulcer until the doctor did a test to rule it out. And a colleague's sister found out when their practice nurse did a test before a smear as she couldn't remember when her last period was- she was about 16w or so I think!

@boodles101 we are both in on the same day, and it really doesn't should like long when you say it in days like that 😬

Hmmm i think if i was given 30/31 august as a date i would consider asking for 1st sept instead on a basis of school stuff!

I would love a date....

easterbuns I'm trying to tell myself that 23 days isn't long and the babies will just be getting bigger and stronger everyday. But I really didn't think they would leave it that late. He booked me another scan for next week and to see consultant after, so if I get the nice consultant I'll beg and ask to move forward a few days!

@IVEgottheDECAF I'm in Scotland so doesn't make any difference here although boodles is down south I think.

@boodles101 I don't blame you, you must be so uncomfortable with two in there! I have mw tomorrow, last weeks appointment was cancelled, and I'm debating actually being honest about how I'm struggling but I don't think it will make any difference as no medical need to bring anything forward.

Yes I'm down south so I could possibly hold out for 2nd September when I'll be 38+2 but I couldn't care less about school timings now! I really don't think they will love mine forward either unless any changes over the next 3 weeks. They don't care how hard it is or if you're struggling.

Has anyone got an elvie trainer?

@easterbuns1 you should definitely be honest with the midwife- feeling low now is a good clue that you are more likely to get PND, it's an important part of the picture. You deserve the support that's out there!
@boodles101 fingers crossed you get the more helpful consultant next time!!!!!!
Re August vs September and school- a very late August birthday should mean you can hold them back relatively easily if you don't feel they are ready, so not worth too much worry. There was a case that went through the courts a couple of years ago which made it easier.

Thats good to know dusty

@thecraicdealer that's so frustrating, hope you get a better midwife for birth. Mine followed my plan exactly. They even left the cord long so that DH could shorten it

@easterbuns1 it's definitely worth raising if you feel that's too far away, your mental health is just as important as your physical health. Mine has been pulled forward by two weeks because I'm not coping with the mental impact of physical symptoms. The hospital aren't concerned by the physical symptoms so the main reason is my mental state if that makes sense? Good luck.

Ah @boodles101 that does seem far away when you've had an earlier date in mind. I hope your next appointment is with someone better, consultants can have such a horrible impact on us and don't seem to think it through.

Mine yesterday has a really odd manner. He said if I was going for a vaginal birth they would just induce me now and kept asking if I was sure, but was sort of joking? DH took over and just said that it was non-negotiable. In fact, it was mostly DH who pushed for an earlier section - I didn't know but he's been doing loads of research and was ready to argue!

stroan great that you DH is pushing for you. I think next time I need to take my DH or my mum as they are definitely more assertive than me.

@boodles101 it's absolutely ridiculous that we need to be assertive, but sadly seems to be the case.

Thanks @Stroan and @DustyDoorframes, I'd sort of psyched myself up to tell her last week before she cancelled on me (appointments running over so cancelled a couple that could be postponed a week) so will mention it tomorrow. I've got consultant on Tuesday too but he is a man of very few words and is very conservative with any management. I know physically I will feel so much better post section than I do now not being able to walk so can try and think logically that's it's only just over three weeks to cope with the physical side. Mentally though I just few really withdrawn and very much on my own. Trying to put a brave face on for the older twos sake but the reality is I feel absolutely alone, dp is oblivious and only really have one pal I can properly speak to and don't want to totally offload to her in case she just thinks I'm a miserable cow.

@Stroan your man sounds lovely, it's great he's got your back like that!

@boodles101 I’m sorry that your consultant wasn’t very nice. It’s horrible that people act that way. It seems so silly that we’re meant to be allowed ELCS but they still act so weird about it.

We’ve had a productive day today, got cracking on the nursery and figured out our names. We’re shopping for the pram over the weekend and all the other bits and bobs. DH is finally feeling a bit less worried.

I agree stroan we all know what our limits are so it's stupid that they don't take our opinion into consideration. I honestly felt like today's consultant was looking at me smirking thinking silly woman can't handle labour. I felt like saying stupid man has no idea what it's like to be pregnant and give birth, let alone 2 babies yet he gets to make the decisions.

I've decided that I'm going to do/plan something nice for myself once a week for the next 3 weeks. Hopefully that will pass the time. I'm thinking maybe a haircut, a pedicure and a trip to the cinema or afternoon tea. Something that I probably won't get to enjoy for a long time now!

Aw, @easterbuns1 I feel for you, it's awful that you should feel low at this time. Your friend won't mind you offloading at all, but if you don't feel you can you always have us. Hopefully the conservativeness might work for you, he should hopefully recognise your genuine distress.

@Megan2018 I'm gonna copy and paste your birth plan if that's ok 😉

I have some milky coloured discharge... is this ok? Dr google seems to suggest yes?