September 2019 #8 - The 3rd Trimester Begins

[TwittleBee]

New thread!

Here is the start of the final stretch!

Google Doc for reference:
docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1VUDuTLeibUnnaCWCjb-pqUe4Wnq-fTau4HJgmE1XE3c/edit?usp=sharing

Hi @Beeseeinya welcome to our little group!! We'll all keep u company whilst dh is away. Omg I can spend ages reading a good slanting match debate on some of the AIBU threads - very entertaining!!

What do Braxton hicks feel like? Are they painful? Do they feel like contractions do? Don't think I've had any but don't really know what I'm looking out for tbh...

@DustyDoorframes 9/10/19 is not a bad date if you miss a 9/19 😉 although I agree with @Stroan 19/9/19 has to be the best - if I can go 12 days over I could get it!!

@RonaldWeasley I'm loving the sciencey parts too. Started ages ago thinking it was too early, now starting to think best get on and start getting dh involved in watching them!!

@easterbuns1 oh thank you for telling me about you, I feel a little less worried now

@ShowerTheHorse if you know anyone whose had a baby who could go with you to ask any questions you forget, that’s what I do now. Also read your notes before you leave, sometimes they write stuff in there they haven’t told you

@Hsunshine you are welcome, obviously everyone is different but it's very common and not always a huge issue.

@easterbuns1 I thought I wasn’t seeing the consultant this week but it turns out I am so that’s reassuring too, hopefully he can give me more info

@boodles101 that does sound like hiccups! DC2 has them loads, it was funny and endearing, then a bit irritating, and eventually I stopped even noticing it much.

In my list of midwife appointments I have one that’s for birth planning. Does anyone else? Would you/have you taken your partner?

I dont write a birthing plan. Never have.

@moraxella not as a standard thing, I think they just ask at a certain point here.

If you think there is anything contentious that you would like support on, or for the midwife to explain certain things to your partner, then absolutely.

I had various complications last time and they kept trying to reassure me by telling me what they would do, all of which pointed to a very medicalised birth with me having little or no say. I had a session with a midwife from the actual labour ward to go through it all, which my husband came to. Some of the things that they were insisting on like continuous monitoring could be tweaked when I questioned it. It was maybe a little OTT (my Mum couldn't believe I was daring to question medical professionals...) but made me feel a lot better and I got the exact labour I wanted.

Depending on how your midwife team is structured, it's very possible that the person helping you plan actually doesn't get involved in any delivery and their knowledge might be a little outdated.

@Moraxella our midwives call it the "birth talk" and ask that your birth partner be there, and it's two midwives! Mine are a homebirth/caseloading team though, so they want you to have a chance to meet them all. And it's them who deliver the baby (at homo or hospital)

dusty maybe it was hiccups. I think cos I had them constantly with DS and they were really obvious, it just feels different. But I suppose it might just be different as they are squished in together!

@dustydoorframes that sounds brilliant, I've always wondered how they handle the logistics though - how do they manage to rota the midwives on so that the right one/s deliver your baby when they don't know when it will arrive?

Thanks all. @IVEgottheDECAF I’m not a believer either but very happy to engage in the process as expected of me. The more medicalisation the better (I realise I am in a minority, but it was my day job 😱). I’m asking because my partner may not be able to get to the birth on time (but will try hard) so I’m preparing mentally to go it alone and don’t want to be embarrassed when I turn up solo for everything.

It would be lovely to meet a midwife who may be there on the big day- I haven’t seen the same one twice yet 😅

@Stroan they work in teams of three on a rota, paired with another team- so you meet your three plenty at your antenatal appointments, and one of them will be there. The second midwife for delivery will come from the other team (although if you are in hospital it will just be someone from the ward, but the main one is still one of yours- even if you need a planned c section in the end). And from time to time you meet odd people from the other 3, just in case (all 6 do a "meet the midwifes" talk once a month, with a couple of women who have just had their babies talking about how it all went). If you end up with a daytime homebirth they can get a bit giddy and you can end up with all three- midwives do like a birth...

Thanks Dusty, that all sounds really forward thinking and positive! Are you planning a home birth?

@Moraxella I feel like they must think my husband is fictional since he doesn’t make it to any appointmentss

@DustyDoorframes that’s really interesting to know re the birth plan meeting. Last time I felt the whole labour was totally medicalised - I really wished I’d pushed harder to understand why, but as a FTM I didn’t have a clue what to expect or push for. I was induced but looking back at my notes my BP was stable on meds and not particularly high and no immediate reason to induce me early (39+1 when they started) other than I was at term and not getting healthier. I ended up with constant monitoring (presumably due to needing the drip?) and felt tied to the bed and totally out of control. I feel like that contributed to DD’s stress and ending up in theatre with forceps when she got into a pickle and turned into an awkward position at 10cm. Ultimately all I care about is a healthy baby and a good recovery, but think I’ll push this time to better understand all my options and the next risks, and not just accept the “plan” that’s put in front of me.

@Moraxella
We did birth plans at NCT, mine is really simple.
I want all the drugs
Skin to skin, if I can’t then DH
Yes to vit K
Managed 3rd stage
Prefer c-section to forceps

We get up to 5 midwives apparently in total- seen 2 so far (community) but they don’t do hospital.

Just reading all the updates! But is anyone suffering with hay fever? I couldn't get anything at the pharmacy they said I need to see a doctor because I'm pregnant.

What has anyone else been advised to take? Did you have to have it prescribed?

Dd is suffering too so I might just get us both an appointment Wednesday.

We're supposed to be going out for the day tomorrow to a theme park. DH has told me to stay at home if I'm feeling crappy, just seen the weather is going to be boiling too, so I am tempted but I want to go and see Dd having a good time. There is a small group of us going so they wouldn't be on their own if I did stay at home. I really don't know what to do!

@BridgetJonesDaiquiri I had the brilliant version of your birth- a very forward thinking midwife team, a brilliant BP team, all of whom knew me and what I hoped for (ie that I like knowing reasons and research, I know and trust my body and it's signals, and wanted to keep off the "intervention ladder" if reasonably possible). I was induced as my BP was heading up rapidly despite medication, but my MW came into hospital to do it, helped me keep mobile (she and dp held the monitors on me so I could move about freely- at one point they were lying on the floor!) as that clearly helped me, suggested things for me to try. I was really lucky in that I laboured easily with her support (although the drip did come out at one point and everything stopped completely- easily sorted by putting it back...) and I ended up never needing the pain relief I had spent so long researching. I was lucky in how my body handled it, and lucky in my medical team, especially the MW. And that relationship saved the NHS the cost of more interventions- I am certain that had I not been allowed to move freely I'd have needed pain relief at the very least!
Stroan DC2 was meant to born in hospital (BP issues again) but came too quick- thankfully I had the amazing homebirth team who came to the rescue and beat her to it by 1 minute- so I'm definitely expecting a homebirth again! I would be too high risk due to two prior high risk pregnancies- but the trust reckons I'm better off planning a homebirth than having an unplanned one so let me have my amazing midwives again!

Yes, the doctor needs to prescribe.

@DustyDoorframes sounds positively dreamy compared to mine! You probably answered this at some point in another thread, but were your BP issues the same or less serious with DC2? Did you have pre-eclampsia with either or just HBP?

Ooft @dustydoorframes an accidental home birth! My sister had one of those in my parents living room, but it was caused by her numpty ex-husband rather than the speed of delivery.

Your trust sounds really sensible, looking at the facts and the person rather than blindly sticking to a set of guidelines. It's very refreshing.

@bridgetjonesdaquiri if you are worried about feeling tied to the bed again, ask about a scalp clip monitor. That was my main worry - I knew I wanted to be off the bed but also knew that the baby never co-operated with the heart monitor which then stressed me out. It was amazing. Even with 2 drips in I could move anywhere I wanted. I stayed active throughout (apart from a wee nap!) and I think it helped.

@kyles101 I've found it really good for getting DH involved and a more active part of the process. Not sure I'll be able to listen to his strong Yorkshire brawl reading out the meditations without giggling but might take my mind off things a bit 😂

Crikey @Stroan that sounds stressful! Mine was at least originally the plan til my BP went up again!
@BridgetJonesDaiquiri you can get wireless monitors these days too, which can help.
Re BP- it shaded into preeclampsia the first time, but not the second (they caught it sooner as the BP clinic were all over it, mine goes up right at the very end so was spotted at 40 weeks exactly the first time already too high, but we caught it creeping up round 37-38 the second time. They held off medicating to give me a decent chance at a homebirth, but it was needed in the end. And I also got the homebirth in the end, so all was well really). My trust has a big research interest in BP in pregnancy, so I've lucked out on all possible fronts. Last time I was in the control group for some of the work on aspirin that means that so many of us are on it now. This time I'm actually on aspirin and calcium, and with each pregnancy BP issues are likely to come on later and milder so I'm not very worried.

@IVEgottheDECAF and anyone else asking re maternity allowance - I sent mine off and got a text the next day to say I'd hear within 6 weeks. I think that must be at least 3 weeks ago now and no news yet....

I had another scan today and my fluid has increased another 2cm. Now teetering on the edge of mild / moderate Polyhydramnios and feeling very stressed. Have been waiting for a detailed Fetal medicine scan for 2 weeks and (because of the awful understaffing crisis) I could be waiting for another 2 weeks for this scan date to come through. I just want to know either way so have booked a private scan for later this week. I've stupidly turned to Google and seen that the statistics increase from 17% to 91% chance of Fetal anomalies when the fluid levels increase from mild to moderate.

The next 2 days cannot go fast enough. I'm an emotional wreck.