September 2019 #7

[easterbuns1]

I get nervous when it's so close to post 999..:

Moraxella when are you starting maternity leave then? I think you and I will be the first. I am going mid June due to spd / life.

Glad all is well @excitednerves. Hopefully the ectropion won't bother you again and it clears up on its own.

Hi all, placemarking too.
Also wanted to join in with the maternity leave chat - I'm really struggling with work. I have felt so unsure of myself from around 5 weeks pregnancy. I work for myself and I'm coming to the end of my last planned project and I'm really worried there won't be any work after that and I'll have no income until after the baby is born (worst case scenario would be eventually I do get more work and have to plough on to 40 weeks or more). I have a side project that I've been working on for 3 years(!) that was intended to become my business but I've never dedicated enough time to actually make it something as it feels really risky and honestly maybe there is some imposter syndrome happening and I'm worried I actually can't make it work and it's better as a dream. I have considered applying for jobs with organisations but then get the fear of long days away from my dcs which I blessedly have not had to experience much as work has been so flexible and really, who would hire a woman 23 weeks pregnant with a bump that looks a lot more? Maybe this would be a good moment to decide to make something work with my other project since I will have the time... Pregnancy hormones are not helping me make any decisions right now. Have been struggling to sleep and crying about this when maybe I'm actually catastrophising? I just don't want to lose my income, I don't really feel justified to go on maternity leave until I can have at least some financial certainty or I will struggle to enjoy the time with my new babe

So me, @boodles101 and @excitednerves all finishing on 2nd Aug :)
I think this is gona fly in now.

I'm struggling with car seat choices. So we bought the maxi cosi pebble plus which does until baby is 1 and also come out and transfers to our micralite. However, it doesn't seem to lock in place and I contacted micralite who have actually done so much for us (sending us some parts we didn't get when we bought the display micralite and having engineers look at photos of what's happening when the car seat is on the pram frame) now they have paid us to cover the cost of the car seat. How good is that? So although I think the car seat is ok, and it does sit in place fine just doesn't lock, we are now wondering if we should just buy the maxi cosi axissfix plus which is a seat and base that is permanently in the car. No transferring to pram.
Is this a silly idea? The only benefit of the movable ones it seems is so not to wake baby. I'm just not sure if it's an issue?! Everyone used to have to move babies before these things were invented.
Any thought?

Oh challenge please don't worry too much. With some cut backs could you in theory be ok if the current project was indeed the last one and then still have plenty of time with newborn? Is it feasible at all to find another project? How long do they usually last? How much monetary investment would the side project take or is it more time?

@challenge if finances allow, crack on with the side venture. I can’t wait to go back to normal me once this baby is out I feel mentally a bit weird/not like normal me - so I see where you are coming from. You have the time, we will be up all day and night 🤪
@decaf my contract has ended so I’m unemployed as of now. Weird feeling, bit panicked!

Whisky personally I really don't like car seats on prams... I think they all look so squished and it's not recommended for longer than 2 hours and I'm sure just 30 mins or so for newborns? Plus I'm such a weakling I don't think I'd be able to lift it in and out if the car easily for very long anyway. But that's just my opinion and I'll perhaps rue the day in reality...

@whisky2014 We got the Axissfix Plus for DS when he was 9 months and unhappy in his Evoluna car seat. We were definitely annoyed that we didn't just buy the Axissfix Plus from birth. I did read in the reviews that some people think the lowest angle is still too high for newborns, but I can't speak to that since DS was a bit older. We love it though!

@megan2018 My nipples became MASSIVE in the final few weeks of pregnancy, so definitely wait to measure/order. They pretty much doubled in size, which was slightly terrifying at the time.

Will go to ~38 wks, finish 16th Sept, EDD 26th. Holidays also use em or loose em, so I have mondays with DD to use them up. I do find 5 days work over 4 days stressful! Am plan to increase my WFH, taking slightly long lunch for swimming/wellbeing on a few weeks if I can manage and will go off sick in those last weeks if absolutely nessesary. Zero talk about cover for me it will be left too late.
DD was overdue and induced, but you never know with a second do you.

Actually, started to tell people at work today, no one has said they guessed so maybe I'm not as big as I most definately feel!

@whisky2014 there were very few fixed car seats from birth a few years ago so we got the Maxi Cosi cabriofix.

Honestly, I wouldn't be without it for a newborn. Admittedly I had a newborn baby in Scotland in winter but being able to get her in the seat inside when it was warm and dry, then pop the seat into the car in seconds was a godsend. I also couldn't get her out of her seat without waking her up, and waking her up meant all hell broke loose! Once she was 4-5 months old she was pretty wriggly and I really wouldn't have fancied standing by the car in the rain and trying to wrestle her into the car seat.

Everyone is different though - I could easily lift the car seat with her in it until she was 11 months and her temperament meant that keeping her asleep until she naturally woke was VERY important to me!

We moved her to a cybex sirona at about 11 months after she went through a phase of having a poo-splosion every time she went in the car seat.

@challengeyourreality I'm sorry you are struggling. Pregnancy is so stressful without added work stress.

Are you a contractor? I contracted temporarily after being made redundant on mat leave and found the uncertainty so hard. Some people seem to thrive on it, I am not one of them!

@KLane did they go back to normal size eventually?😮

@moraxella YES, thankfully haha! They change colour too, getting really dark. All returned to normal after a few months or so.

Mine never got massive!

I’ve posted before that I’ve been recommended to not have a travel system. Friends who had them quickly abandoned them in favour of different car seats as found them too heavy to lift.
For us also the distance from shops etc makes it impractical with a newborn. By the time I got baby in it and left house it’s 20-45 mins drive to either town or city, then time to park. Leaves no time to shop before 2hrs is up. When they are really little it’s even less time than that. Which rather begs the question how on earth do you get them home from hospital in one go if that’s a long way?!

We may end up buying one that's compatible as so many bundles that include them but its not something we plan to use in that way.

@KLane
My nipples changed colour at 5 weeks, pink to very dark brown!

The 30 minute advice for newborns is relatively new, it was published in 2016.

As with all advice around things with pregnancy/ babies, it is at the extreme level. No research has actually been done on spending more than 30 minutes in a car seat and the research involved more preterm babies than full term, with low average birth weights. It doesn't define when they stop being a newborn either.

I'm not saying to chuck them in a car seat and drive for 5 hours, but the odd journey that is slightly over 30 minutes wouldn't worry me, especially getting home from hospital. Plus, I was in the backseat the whole way home anyway!

I also found that we didn't tend to go far for the first weeks and certainly won't be going far this time either. If I had a long journey to do, I'd stop every 45 minutes or so.

As with all things baby related, official guidance can be hard to navigate and make sense of We'll be having the same conversation about official guidance in relation to co-sleeping, perfect prep and weaning once the babies are here!

Whisky The benefit of movable car seats is only really so you can transfer them wrapped up warm from a home/building to the car as they shouldn't wear coats in the car seats. But the con is that for newborns they should only be in it for 30 minutes too as their oxygen levels and heart rate start to lower if they stay in that same position. Oh also, i did know plenty of babies that didnt make it till a year in the pebble too, my DS included. Actually think there was a thread about it on here a while ago.

I really love our Joie 360 spin as it's saved my back and DS is still read facing too. We are going to get another one of those for this baby once winter is over, may as well use the pebble for a bit first.

Challenge oh I do feel for you with that. I had similar with having to look for a job whilst pregnant this time. I think you'd be best to give your other project a go though, otherwise when else will you have the chance to? It seems like the other project finishing is a sign for you to give it a go.

@whisky2014 and @boodles101 let’s hope the next 12 weeks fly in!

Baby is getting so strong now, some of the kicks have taken me by surprise! And they’re only going to get stronger from this point on!

Ive started to look at car seats too but think I’ll decide on pushchair first and see if I can get something either as part of a bundle or a compatible one. The only time I use the car is to do the food shop but it’s a 10 minute drive (max) for me so might be handy just to pop them in, pick up a few bits and get home without fiddling around changing seats. I plan to have shopping delivered for at least a few weeks though!

@KLane phew. I’m not as vain as I sound I just can’t deal with all this change (identity/job/hobbies/body) 😱😱😱

I wouldn't be without the first stage car seat (I didn't have a Pebble). I can't actually remember the brand but I will be getting the same again this time. I only kept my DD in it until approx 10 months - and definitely was struggling to lift her in it in the seat at that stage (@Stroan that's some impressive arm muscles)!

I think it largely depends on what time of year your baby is born, whether you have to go in the car to get most places and also what sort of baby you have (ie does it wake up as soon as you undo the car strap seats). What some friends swore by ie the bumbo seat , my DD hated - so I try to remain open minded now.

excitednerves food deliveries absolutely are the way to go for those first few weeks or anytime you just know you cant face going out. They really saved me.

I am worried about this time around because we dont have a freezer anymore... since we moved house we havent bothered getting a freezer and didnt even notice its absence after a few weeks. But now I am stressing because I know I lived on batched cooked meals and easily thrown in the oven dinners too when I was so tired. And I froze some of my milk too

Oh wow thanks all. So I live in a village with nearest town 15 mins away. If I have baby end aug of August beginning of Sept I'm think the movable one would-be good since the weather will be turning? (Scotland). But if we got the axissfix now we would save money (but not effort). Hmm

We've gone with the cybex cloud - it's heavy but it reclines and has a lovely so should be okay for longer stints if attached to the pram. We have to use the car to get anywhere and also wanted something we could take into our friends homes for short visits. I guess it depends on your circumstances what car seat will work best 🤷

Well we didn’t get a huge amount of choice as only one fitted my rather unusual car 😂. So we have a joie steadi. Combination seat fine to 4 years and remains rear facing.

BUT if anybody else gets a combination seat you must speak to your hospital as there is a rule that baby has to be in a car seat before they can leave. Mine is fine with pram being brought in and then baby moved to an installed seat instead but others are more rigid.