35+ TTC #1 Graduates!

[Kescilly]

This thread is for those of us over 35 who are pregnant with our first! It’s a continuation of a great group of people from the TTC thread. Doesn’t matter how far along you are, come on in!

@kescilly sorry you were struggling it is bloody hard I too have been struggling this first month. I just think we are cracking it and she becomes unsettled again. We are combi feeding so that I can have a break if needed with expressed milk and formula from a bottle. We have also given her a dummy when she won't settle as that seems to sooth her she was taking too much milk either from me or bottle and was making herself very sick (she doesn't always want it and won't sleep with it) but it has really helped.

@weathergirl1 glad you are doing well (except the constipation!) hope you enjoy your week away. The constipation is horrible I had it for most of the second half of pregnancy until I got piles then I went to gp and got a prescription for cosmocol with softens things up to help you go (definitely do this rather than strain) and some ointment for the piles. (1 month after birth I am pleased to report they have pretty much gone).
Goodluck with the scan let us know how you get on x

@kescilly Nice to hear from you!

'@Weathergirl1 you're half way there!
How's the indigestion? Sorry to hear about the constipation.
The all day nausea seems to have subsided for me... although am still throwing up once or twice.
Have booked private ante-natal classes as the venue was closer to home and they were recommended by a friend of a friend. They don't start until October for me though.
Am thinking of starting pre-natal yoga classes.
Also, am looking into hypnobirthing classes... the same friend of a friend recommended the above yoga teacher for hypnobirthing.
Am at a loss as to clothes etc. I'm putting it off while I can.

Hello everyone!

Sorry, I've been super quiet too, just plodding along.

I'm at that weird 16-17 weeks stage where I know I'm pregnant but I don't feel pregnant, I don't necessarily look very pregnant (I wasn't skinny anyway so it just looks like I've eaten too much pizza.... this is potentially also the case), I've got no symptoms (well - I'll come back to that in a mo) and I can't feel the baby moving yet. So it's just a bit of a no man's land until I start to feel the wiggling or my 20 week scan at the end of the month.

Only thing that's happening at the moment is that my coccyx feels really sore, and all along the top of my bum cheeks/crack (sorry for the description, don't really know how else to call it! Hang on, have just googled, maybe pubic arch?!) - is this normal, or have I been sitting in an uncomfortable chair for too long?

Aside from that, internal debates are: when I can start to wear maternity jeans, whether it's too early to use my pregnancy pillow, whether it's gross that I bought it second hand (obvs have washed it since buying), why are women worse at giving up their seat for me on the tube than men, am I being a princess expecting people to give up their seat for me, why did Ickle Bubba decide to name themselves such an utterly awful cringey name that makes me not want to buy their stuff even though I quite like it, what wheels do I need on my pram, why are pelvic floor exercises so hard, should I start doing some exercise, how many packs of sour/fizzy sweets can I fit in my mouth at once... and so on, and so on.

How's everyone else?!

@Weathergirl1- sorry to hear about the constipation. I had that in the first bit when I was taking pregnacare with iron and didn't poo for three days. Gross.

@Pinkywoo how are you getting on?? Has the physio worked a bit?

@Kescilly and @Blondcat I hope it continues to get better for you! Are you loving being mums?

And I'm so glad to hear about the combi feeding or bottle feeding. I have no idea what I want to do yet, I haven't really thought about it as I don't think I have strong feelings either way. I suppose I'll think about it more nearer the time!

@Melamine hope you're getting on well too and bonding deliciously.

And hi @Sessy19 :) nice to have you here! Hope all progressing nicely?

@lauralooderby I bought a pillow 2nd hand too. I checked it was washable first and then reasoned it wasn't worth buying it full price for £40 when I could get one for under £10 on eBay 😁 might even manage to claw that back selling it onwards when I've finished with it too!

Just thinking that your back pain might just be tight muscles - I've got tight hips and weak glutes (most people have from too much sitting down) and I find that doing leg drops every day works really well to help (it strengthens the glute medius) - you basically stand with one foot on a step (yoga brick is fantastic for this) and then lower your leg that you're not standing on, downwards and then back up again. I stopped doing them but have recently started again - I do 50 each side twice a day when i'm brushing my teeth 🤣

@birdbybird I'm trying to pick up Seraphine maternity stuff on eBay although some of the items are quite fought over (frustrating as one dress sold for about £5 back in March yet all the recent ones of the same item have gone for over £30 - guess it's the season to wear it now!). I have bought 2 pairs of underbump jeans for about £5 each (although one is too small so I'm going to sell those onwards on FB once I don't mind people seeing my name publicly related to pregnancy)!

I think we're going to go to John Lewis on Oxford St at some point over the summer or look at prams etc. I am mildly scared of the number of options there are out there. Also for car seats as we don't own a car and cannot guarantee a specific model when we hire one - I've seen people on MN say that not all seats fit all cars - nightmare!!

I haven't started the physio yet @LauraLooDerby, we're in Sicily visiting the in-laws which is lovely, except my ankles have swollen up like balloons! I've been getting coccyx pain too, along with the hips, and my pregnancy pillow has definitely helped.

I'm planning on combi feeding too @Blondcat so glad to hear it's working for you, and @Kescilly it sounds like a good decision to switch to bottles, your health and sanity is important as well as the baby!

Hi all. Just checking in. I'm 16 weeks and feeling exactly the same as you @lauralooderby - I know I'm pregnant but dont feel it or look it and so you start to question, has it all been a mistake?! But I had my 16 week midwife appt yesterday and she listened to the heartbeat which was reassuring. 4 weeks until the next scan although dont think we are going to find out the sex. DH wants to and cant understand why you would choose not to have available information but I want the surprise and I'm confident I can win this one!

Hope everyone is doing well x

Hello everyone! I've just been for my 20wk scan this afternoon. Everything is ok, but the placenta is quite low down so the sonographer said I will need another scan to see if it's moved at all a bit later on. It's also anterior so that explains why I haven't felt anything yet. I did have to go for a walk and eat my emergency haribo in the middle of the appointment to get the stubborn little blighter to move so she could take all the measurements needed!

I got through my break last week in clothes I've already got (although did have to buy a skirt on eBay a size up to the one I already have!). We still haven't told many people, but one of my friends I saw last week was surprised as she reckoned I definitely didn't look pregnant, so keeping it quiet is still working! Bumps is definitely there now but it's still quite easy to hide underneath clothes I already have (baggy ones!) - I'm starting to properly look at maternity clothes and trying to work out what I might need... I really am a bit at a loss as to how many of each item. Thankfully I won't need smart office wear.

@Oxted2018 we found out at Harmony - though we're keeping it to ourselves. The way we see it is, it's a surprise when you find out whenever that is, but totally understand that you might want to wait until the baby arrives! Good luck in winning that battle - our baby flashed itself at the scan though today so even if we hadn't wanted to know (didn't already know), I'm not sure how the sonographer could have covered it up!

@Pinkywoo @LauraLooDerby how are your aches and pains doing?

@birdbybird I think I'm going to look at all the antenatal stuff this week now we're past the 20wk point. Not sure what I want to do tbh - I think I'd find it a bit weird to be talking about birth stuff in a group especially given my anxiety issues. I think I might contact a doula and see what they say - the ones I looked at near us said they did private antenatal classes and I might be more comfortable with that.

How is everyone else doing?

@weathergirl1 congratulations on your scan. With regards to maternity clothes you will likely want to wear for a while after so that may help you decide what to buy. I had 3 jeans pair of shorts pair of linen trousers a skirt and two leggings for bottoms. Couple of tunic tops couple of t-shirt and a vest. Have now got 4 nursing tops and dress but wore these a little at the end too. Some of these were secondhand bought at nct nearly new sale ebay gumtree and Facebook market place rest were h&m, new look and Debenhams.

@blondcat ah thank you. So far I have:
1x under bump skinny jeans (the 2nd pair I ordered off eBay were too small so I need to sell those onwards).
2x shortsleeve knot front tops
1x pair of shorts
Navy & white bump bands (to hopefully continue the use of low rise trousers I already have!)

And I have a summer dress, another short sleeve top and a long sleeve wrap top/cardigan thing ordered and on their way.

And DH has treated me to a lovely wrap style waterproof mac that isn't maternity wear but it'll fit when I do get large (and I get to keep it forever 😍).

@Weathergirl1 they're much better at the moment because we're on holiday, I'm really not looking forward to going back to work and being on my feet all day though.

On the subject of maternity clothes I've been wearing them since about 12 weeks, I'll be 25 (weeks!) tomorrow and am huge, people keep asking if I'm due soon. I am only 5'2 with a short body though, at least that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it! I've found Dorothy perkins maternity a bit hit and miss but all my favourite bits have come from there, and asos ultimate maternity vest tops are really nice and come in a pack of three, white, black and grey.

@Blondcat quick question re H&M sizing (I don't normally shop there so no idea what usual size I'd be!) - I'm looking at some basic vests to go underneath v-necks to make me feel more comfortable but when I checked their maternity sizing they weren't that clear on what sizes - I know Seraphine & JoJo Maman Bebe cut theirs slightly larger so you just buy a 10 if you'd normally fit a 10 pre-pregnancy - any ideas?

@Pinkywoo ah, I can imagine - I'm nearly 5'8 and although I don't have a really long torso for my height, I guess it's probably longer than average so more space! (My DM does have a long torso and didn't get huge with me and my DGF said that they didn't believe my DGM she was due with my DM the day before she had her - though my DGM was 5'4 so she must have had some serious squishing of internal organs going on!)

I looked at the ASOS vests last night. Might try those too, but I'd quite like some in more colours than just black, white and grey!

@weathergirl1 I was a 12 usually but occasionally 14 (depending on the shop) pre pregnancy and found the 12 were fine early on but towards the end a bit tight. I went for large over medium for tops (was a 34 DD pre pregnancy) to give more room up top as well as growing room. Sorry not sure if that helps or not 😊

I'm alright thanks @Weathergirl1 - plodding along (feels like actual plodding now even though I'm still only 18 weeks). Congrats on the scan - quick q on that actually, do you still have to be full of water for this one or is it not quite as important? I can't wait for it :) I'm booked in for Friday 26th, so excited! I desperately don't want to find out the sex so I might have to cover my eyes a bit though ha!

Pelvic aches have disappeared for now, although they do get worse when I've been in the office all day, so I just need to make sure I get up and wander around a bit. I've started using the maternity pillow, more for the 'between the legs' bit than the bump bit, which I think is helping.

I also now have a bit of a bump (particularly when I wear certain trousers/tops) so I'm making the most of it!

I'm booked onto a local NCT course starting in October - my friends who did it with theirs swear by it for making friends, and actually my sister (who didn't do it) wishes she had just for the support network. But it's frickin' expensive.

@Pinkywoo how's Sicily? Whereabouts are you? I love Sicily - very jealous!!

I bought a travel system at the weekend... eeeeeek. We just went for a wander around Ikea and Mamas and Papas (then ended up going to Mothercare and Baby Planet as well) and when we were in M&P we fell in love with a travel system that was on offer (£799 rather than £1,300 ish), so ended up putting down a deposit after we'd been to the other places and tried others to compare! So far too early, really, but at least it's sorted, and it's a good car seat etc.

@Oxted2018 how are you getting on?

And how's everyone else? Everyone happy and healthy? x

@Blondcat that's actually helpful, thank you! Was slight of chest before, but now pushing a C cup so 12 probably will work.

@LauraLooDerby no full bladder required (would actually caution against as the sonographer pressed quite firmly into my abdomen at one point right into my bladder!) But take a water bottle and something sweet to eat in case they need you to get the baby to move (wouldn't have wanted to have to buy a sugary drink from a vending machine if I hadn't had haribo with me 😁). Glad the aches are better 👍 and exciting about the travel system!!

@Weathergirl1 the colours are a bit limited, the primark long line vests are stretchy enough to fit the bump and long enough for even normal length torsos!

@LauraLooDerby DH is from Ribera on the south coast, some bits are pretty run down but the scenery is amazing.

@Blondcat @Pinkywoo just picked up the H&M vests and the medium seems fine - definitely wouldn't have wanted the small! Will see how I get on with those and look at some black & white ones shortly.

Inspired by all your chats, I went into the shopping centre at the weekend, wandered through (what felt like) a hundred shops asking whether they stocked maternity wear in store, got told no by the majority, and then finally found H&M and practically hugged the woman, especially when she directed me to the maternity sale rail. And then went to New Look. And bought about 20 tops and some dungarees and a denim dress and far too much other stuff. So thank you! I'm wearing my natty black linen dungarees type things today which is a delight in this weather!

Also borrowed my friend's doppler and was lucky enough to hear the heartbeat (pretty sure it was the heartbeat, it was about 135bpm ish - I then caught my placenta/own heartbeat and it was much slower so I'm pretty confident) - so after stressing for a couple of days that maybe I wasn't pregnant after all and was it just a growing pizza baby, I feel better today

Is anyone babymooning? I know we're all at different stages...
We're thinking about just going to Devon and camping in a couple of weeks (I'll be 20 weeks then) - I really want to go and lay on a sunbed for a week but with pathetic maternity pay I feel like that's a luxury that future me can't afford :( (also DP and I are previously keen walkers and DP can't stay inactive for more than about 20 minutes so the idea of a sunbed/beach holiday for him is a bit hellish, I think)

@Pinkywoo - lovely! I love Sicily. I lived in Taormina for a bit about 15 years ago (I say lived - I was practically a slave in a beach bar/club thing for a month until I got paid my 400 euros - having worked from 8am until 2am every day for a month, one day off - and ran away - hitch-hiked to the train station and escaped back to Milan. Ah, those were the days). Anyway... I love Sicily.

Right, enough essay for today.

Ooh @lauralooderby it's like Christmas isn't it getting all these new clothes?! I'm still avidly on eBay - DH brought home two packages (and an Amazon book delivery - I ordered the Siobhan Miller hypnobirthing book) on Monday; last night there was nothing and I felt a bit disappointed 😳; but he's just messaged to say three more have arrived today 😁😁

I don't think we will babymoon - bit of an upheaval here as DH is being made redundant at the end of August! Thankfully the package is good so we have a lot of breathing space & he should be able to find a new job relatively easily as there's lots of his industry in our area, but it does mean we're being careful with unnecessary expenditure now. We might do something nice for our last wedding anniversary before it's not just the two of us though!

I keep feeling a pulse in my lower stomach if I lean over so that my tummy touches my thighs - I guess that is probably the placenta!

I just joined our local Pure Gym as it's too hot to do my usual exercise in our spare room now. Went yesterday and it was air-conditioned bliss!

@Weathergirl1 I HAVE to stop spending money.

But on that note - any suggestions for a decent pair of shorts?! I'm a size 16 ish now but I have always had thick thighs (I like to blame playing rugby/genetics but it's more likely to be the fact that I'm currently addicted to caramel choo choo ice cream).

So they need to be loose enough on the thighs and long enough that they don't ride up and make me do that funny walk where you kind of flick your leg out every now and again to shuffle them back down your leg.... if you know, you know... but suitable for some nice walks around Devon. Any ideas?!

Also, question to the masses. I'm not due until December but my family being like it is, we've already starting thinking about my baby shower. The problem is, I kind of feel like baby showers are generally quite dull - same old games ('poo' in a nappy, guess the weight/date etc), sit down for afternoon tea, etc etc. Have any of you done/going to be doing something a bit different? I want the guests to have fun, get a bit squiffy, and not think oh hell not another one (we've had lots of babies in my family/friendship group over the past 18 months).

I'm wondering if I could do something like a gameshow theme where they're put into teams and have to answer questions.... (so actually I'm basically trying to organise this myself but make it come from my mum and sis).

Any amazing fun ideas?

@lauralooderby can't help on the shorts front as I have fairly skinny thighs, but I do have a pair of Seraphine ones on eBay which are like normal beach shorts and they're quite roomy around the thigh. Also just got a pair of Mamalicious linen crops that also are quite roomy and cool. EBay is really hit and miss though 🤷

I've only been to one baby shower and they played the daft games there. Wasn't really my thing so I totally get what you mean (I guess it depends on how many others going are really keen on that sort of thing as to whether they work or not)! I doubt I'll be having one myself, but if I did I guess an afternoon tea type of thing would be the sort of thing I went for with just chatting - I guess a bit like my hen do was (no silly willy related games or anything on that either 🤣).

We had a productive trip to London to look at prams and car seats in John Lewis at the weekend. Nearly melted on the tube though when we went out to Stratford Westfield!! We now know what we want for a pram system and have a few more ideas for car seats. Only thing we bought was nearly 4kg of yarn in the clearance - my DM is of the attitude that if it's reduced, get it and she will work out what to knit later 😂 DH thought I was joking when I said about looking for more yarn in Stratford JL after we'd already got some in Oxford Street 🤣🤣

How is everyone else doing?

@Weathergirl1 hmmm will have to check those out - thanks! Ohh to have slim thighs. I am definitely built like a cart horse rather than a race horse (as my mum always says!).

Intrigued about the prams and car seats! Which ones took your fancy? Luckily I manage to avoid the tube mostly apart from home to work and back, and that's only three days a week, and I get the met line in from near Uxbridge so I generally get a seat (and it's air conditioned bliss). Hilarious that you just bought yarn 😂it's always the way!

@lauralooderby they are not shorts but have you looked at harem trousers I wore them during pregnancy but they fit a wide variety of sizes and wore them before and now wearing after too. You can make them into effectively shorts by pulling them up near your boobs which I do with them mostly as comfy like that. Mine were from amazon for about £15. I have had them years and have two pairs in different colours. Looks like they are a bit more now but they are light and airy.
Like these: likemary Harem Pants & Bandeau Jumpsuit Cotton 2 in 1 Hareem Khaki R www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B004LGK5EU/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_TgAnDb8WSMXSB?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

@lauralooderby we're fixed on an Uppababy Cruz as we need compact and it's going to get a lot of daily use walking into town from our house. Car seats we initially thought we'd get one that goes from birth through to group 3 as we don't have a car so don't want to be replacing a seat every year as it won't get much use (we don't own a car and are trying to avoid buying one as long as possible!). However what we hadn't thought about was that if we need to take a taxi in the first year/ fly to visit the ILs, we're never going to be able to lug one of those around with us... So we've been persuaded to look at the newborn ones too. We may try and pick up a 2nd hand one locally (that won't have been used much) for that case and then get the 0-3 so we're covered for longer journeys when we hire a car to go to my parents'.

Just jumping in to say that baby showers can be whatever you want! You don’t need to play weird games. If you absolutely need games at all, you can do something much more low-key.

At its heart, a shower is a show of support for the mother-to-be. Yes, this includes gifts. But it’s also about spending time with the people you care about, sharing in that excitement and anticipation, taking in the advice.

How’s everyone doing otherwise? Also does anyone have any questions about post-baby? I don’t know it all but am happy to share my own experience!