June 2019 - Part 6!

[Kescilly]

Welcome to the middle of the second trimester, ladies! Apologies if anyone has been left off the list!

Kescilly, 1st baby, due May 29th

rollerskaterdata, 2nd baby, due 30th May

Sassehmonsta, 2nd baby, due 31st May

Torsz, 1st baby, due 31st May

PeachPotato, DC2, due 2nd June

Fee1234, 1st baby, due 3rd June

Stellarfox, 1st baby, due 4th June

Fiona1619, DC2, due 4th June

Ksjourney, DC2, due 5th June

Mummytomollyandbean, due 6th June

MadeInCornwallx3, DC 3, due 7th June

SK17, DC1, due 7th June

ExcitedMama, DC2, due 8th June

Fabuluce, DC2, due 9th June

Silversister, DC1, due 9th June

Chocomalt, DC2, due 9th June

annihall, DC1, due 10th June

lstef, DC1+2!, due 10th June

Bimbabo, 1st baby, due 11th June

Diamondbutterfy, DC3, due 11th June

Heebyjeeby99, DC1, due 11th June

CrazyCowLady, DC1, due 11th June

KoalasAteMyHomework, DC2, due 12th June

Toasterstrudle, DC2, due 13th June

Napssavelives, dc3, due 14th June

Kimbishop86, dc2, due 14th June

Toomanyflatwhites, dc2, due 14th June

Blondcat, dc1, due 14th June

emily1511, 1st baby, DD 16th June

hexagon01, DC2, due 16th June

R4ch4el12, 1st baby, due 17th June

HoneyPea, 1st baby, due 18th June

2countries1bump, 1st baby (girl), due 19th June

Spargle, 1st baby, due 19th June

Curlypasta, dc3, due 20th June

Holly257, DC3, due 21st June

WeeBean, 1st baby, due 21st June

Bigonesmallone3, DC3, due 22nd June

Pigriver, DC2, due 22nd June

mindthechaos, DC3, due 24th June

Socktastic, DC2, due 24th June

Reastie, DC2, due 24th June

thedocisin, DC2, due 24th June

MauisLeftNipple, DC4, due 24th June

LauralovesLuke, DC1, due 25th June

Coastergirl, 2nd baby, due 26th June.

JBCG 1st baby, due 28th June

Excuse the missing words 😫 I meant worries about birth and hearing the most difficult births...

@Kescilly my DH and I both found the hypnobirthing really helpful as it made us focus on what we wanted and that he would be my advocate while I concentrated on the task at hand. If you think you or your husband would struggle with that have you thought about a doula? That's what they specialise in.

@LauralovesLuke yes yes yes exactly this! I'm definitely one for knowledge is power and our brains have the capacity to change every experience. I got my DS through Zita West so I'm a huge advocate for her and her books.

@istef I'm in agreement with @thedocisin - I never had any problem with breast feeding post csection. It's not a fait accompli at all thankfully. 😊

Doc - solidarity 🤜🏻🤛🏻. Here's hoping for simpler birth experiences for us both this time!

I know we've been talking about complicated births which can be pretty scary but we should also talk about lovely births too. Certainly my mom managed 5 without too much stress - she always said it was the worst pain, quickest forgotten and all her births were pretty much done and dusted in around 7 hours. My eldest sister and sister-in-law had 7 between them and again, they were done and dusted with in around the 5-7 hours mark. My bestie had a lovely home water birth with both her boys. The first was a couple of hours, the second was about an hour from start to finish! Another friend had the dream hypnobirth experience for both of her girls and breathed them out into the world. It's easy to get caught up in the complications of birth. It's the most intense experience of any woman's life but for most, whilst it's unlikely that it'll be a pain free experience it's definitely a life changing and fundamentally beautiful moment when you get to meet the life you've been nurturing for the previous 9 months. And it's going to happen one way or another! 😊

@istef to add to what other posters said, my friend also had a c section- twins - and she breastfed.

I know there are many nervous first timers on here, and some of the birth stories you hear from other people sound really scary. But there are also lots of people who have good labours and deliveries. I've had many friends whose births went very well!

Thanks all for reassuring stories. I need to remind myself there are many more success stories than there are complicated ones - I have a tendency to make up the worst case scenario for pretty much anything and then get myself into a tailspin of worry over it.

I think I am in a good area for breastfeeding support - and I can transfer to the mat unit here after hospital and I've heard really good things about them.

We bought a cot yesterday and some other things, so we can organise our flat to make space for twinnies! First big thing bought, eek! Also got a massive load of baby girl clothes from my friend on Saturday. Feeling more positive and excited in general, I think feeling consistent movements helps a lot with reassurance while I wait for the next scan.

Just to add to the experiences. With my previous two births I've found that by taking in twenty minutes by twenty minutes it was easier (that's how often my obs were done).

Yes it was ridiculously painful but it was also so so exciting and with the ultimate prize at the end. I actually felt a bit jealous of friends having babies when I thought I wouldn't anymore!

Remembering the pain was a positive pain really helped me and in terms in pain relief I kept my options open and went with what was right at the time (epidural with no1, gas and air no2). This way I wouldn't feel like I had 'let myself down'. The fact that it's in waves and not continuous is also a god send!

I'm keen to try a water birth in a midwife led unit this time but it will all depend on what happens and that's ok too.

I birth partnered my sister who had a tough labour with a forceps delivery and her choices were different, but again made at the time and depending on the situation at the time.

Sometimes not restricting your options and being open can be one of the things that gives you the most power.

Oh and anyone who is currently in the FB group can add members. I can do it if you pm me the email address you use for FB. X

Sometimes not restricting your options and being open can be one of the things that gives you the most power.

Very well put @MadeInCornwallx3

WeeBean I don’t know if this is useful with your thinking of induction/how long before csection but I went into hospital on a Monday morning to be induced and they decided on Friday lunchtime to give me a csection as induction wasn’t working enough. Had csection Friday tea time.

Bimbabo dm was a nurse at the hospital she had dsis and she said she got special treatment by them (eg her own room) and other perks that I now can’t remember .

Lauralovesluke you sound like you have such a good view on it. I need to take a lead out of your book with worrying.

Istef another person here who had a section and managed to bf.

Re hypnobirthing. I’m having an elec csection and I’m looking for a download/cd that I can play during the operation to keep me calm. I’ve seen loads to help me prepare but I want something that once I’m lying there I can listen to with headphones to help me stay calm as I had a huge panic last time. Has anyone spotted anything like this?

Ladies I'm really struggling today.....woken up and what little bump I did has has gone, I'm talking completely flat. The slight twitches I felt a week ago that I thought might be movement haven't come back again. I'm 21 weeks and just feel so down that I still have no signs of being pregnant at all. Has anyone else been in this position and it's been ok?

I had the 20 week scan and it seemed to be ok, although looking at the report a lot of my measurements were very small and some were even off the scale of 'normal'. I guess if there was a problem they would call me back in.

I just don';t know anyone else at 21 weeks with no bump...my friends and sister had a big, noticeable round bump by now and lots of them were petite like I am.

I've given in and bought a doppler at about 1am last night as was crying as felt so unpregnant, which is probably a bad move, but I just don't know what else to do!

@Heebyjeeby99 would it be worth calling your midwife and asking for an appt so you can have a Doppler there and get some reassurance?

@Fabuluce they are open every Tuesday and I have done this twice, but just feel like such a nuisance. Plus I work 2 hours away most Tuesdays so can't take tomorrow or next week off....

I just don't understand how I can't have a bump yet...even the lady at the 20 week scan said 'o I expect you'll pop and have movements within the week, but no...

I went into natural labour last time with only one request - to try and avoid having a catheter put in. I had a 4 day labour ending in a suction cap and episiotomy and avoided catheters. I would have liked to birth in the pool but that wasn't an option as I was high risk and being constantly monitored. I used gas and air (got very high) and had pethadine when they broke my waters for me. Also got very high on that too, forgot to breathe as time was going so slowly. Oops. Overall, it was a good experience - the suction cap was only needed at the end as F wasn't coping well with my pushing.

This time I will be induced. I don't know how, or what my options will be, but I do know if I end up on the drip that I want an epidural. I don't care about having a catheter anymore, I have had so many medical things that the thought of it doesn't bother me anymore.

I am still waiting to hear back from my hypnobirthing lady. She doesn't seem to be very organised! Last time I played Enya CDs to help me stay calm, and some bellydancing music I was familiar with. I foolishly thought I would be up and active in labour, but it was hard enough to get up off the bed to wee after 4 days of labour. Meh!

@heeby is the maternity triage open for 'better' hours? There must be something available for when things happen outside of a Tuesday and you could technically be reduced movements.
If it's any consolation my friend is two weeks behind me and we look exactly the same gestation, she might even be a bit bigger than me. I didn't think my bump looked as big on Saturday but it's back today, think it depends where baby has wriggled to as they've still got quite a bit of room for now?

@Heyha yes I could call the maternity triage, although if I say reduced movements would they see me? I have been told they only take note of that after 24 weeks...

Hmm not sure. Maybe explain it to them the same as you've posted here, if they don't want you in after that then that could be reassuring enough by itself?

@heeby my mum had no bump with any of us 3 - we lay along her spine - please don't worry. Bumps are all different shapes and sizes and there is no "right" way to look pregnant. TV and films show pregnant women to have a perfect round bump, but this is not the reality. I am 19 weeks and I look like I've just had a good Christmas dinner - I don't "look" pregnant either. I am average height and a size 10 - I think this is just how my body is made - and perhaps it is similar for you. Can you feel your uterus? This reminds me that I have a little baby in there - this hard, rounded thing underneath my skin. My friend didn't feel movement until 22 weeks and she now has a happy, healthy 6month old baby girl. As someone else said, I think in thread 5 of June babies, it's better to consult your midwife and find out you're ok rather than keep quiet and not be ok. The stress and anxiety you're experiencing is not conducive to your overall well-being.

Heeby I’d call the triage and just tell them what you told us and see what they say. FWIW my bump can be huge at times and at others look a lot smaller. If you google 21 weeks pg bump you’ll see a huge variety of bump sizes, some will be big but others will barely be noticeable. Attached is a screen shot of someone at 21 weeks whose bump disappeared overnight but all was still ok. Obviously I don’t think this blog post should be in place of checking with medical professionals but it just shows it can absolutely happen and it’s normal.

I have just 10 weeks left at work. How did that happen?! Bonkers.

I have decided to book 2 weeks holiday and then take mat leave at 34 weeks, as I will be induced by 38 weeks. Work are now talking about getting a temp in and training and all sorts of stuff like that. Eeek

@Reastie yes I am pretty much like her, minus the toned'ness! I just want a sign she's in there. I'll call the triage and see what they say...thanks all x

To go back to discussions about birth up thread - I wanted to add that please please PLEASE don't be scared by other people's birth experiences if you haven't done this before. I know it's daunting and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't slightly worried second time around but I think it is really easy to get yourself worked up about it in advance. Yes some people have bad experiences, some people have amazing experiences, and many millions are in between the two - whichever camp you fall into the more open-minded and relaxed you can be about it the more the situation will be eased. Also agree that having an open mind ("I'd love a water birth but if I change my mind and want drugs then fine, or have to have a csection that's ok too"...) is really (difficult but...) important.
And @Heebyjeeby99 yes best to just get reassurance I would say, don't worry about being a pain! (And I'm sure you're not!)

This will be my first time but I think it’s good advice keeping your options open. I want to have a rough birth plan, but I think you’ve got to be adaptable as you just don’t know what will happen on the day! As strange as it sounds I’m quite interested to experience it even though I know it will be painful! I’ve been watching quite a lot of one born recently 😅

@Sasseh Wow that’s so soon! I’ve got 16 weeks left. Not too bad but still feels a while away!

Is anyone suffering with quite bad back pain at the moment? I’m sat at my desk and it’s bothering me! Not great as it will probably only get worse!

This thread moves so fast! @Heebyjeeby99 have you been able to get in touch with anyone yet? For what it's worth, my mom visited me the day after my 20 week scan and stayed for about a week. Even she said I didn't look that different. I swear within a few days of her leaving, I got huge! I also definitely started feeling movement the day she left, so around 21 weeks. It's been weird, bubbles popping is a good analogy but not little tiny bubbles. I feel like I could have mistaken it for indigestion before but now I know it's not. Is a private scan an option?

I think I'd feel much better about birth if I were having a c-section. I'm comfortable with doctors and medicine. It's been difficult for me to get used to having a midwife do most of my care. I wasn't even really sure what a midwife was before I moved here. I think my plan is basically going to be all the pain relief, please.

It's not just about getting through that moment though. I worry about the potential for long-lasting after effects and permanent damage to my body.

@stellarfox I suffer from chronic back pain but it hasn't gotten too much worse yet. Sitting is one of the worst things for my back so I'm careful about how long I sit for and my posture when doing so. It sounds fussy, but make sure you're using the correct posture, get some lumbar support if you need it, or even a footstool. I'm very short and I never realized how much back pain it was causing me to have my feet on the floor.

Also sleep on your side with a pillow between your legs. It makes a huge difference! And look up some yoga or physical therapy stretches for your back. Those have helped me a lot long term.