June 2019 - Part 6!

[Kescilly]

Welcome to the middle of the second trimester, ladies! Apologies if anyone has been left off the list!

Kescilly, 1st baby, due May 29th

rollerskaterdata, 2nd baby, due 30th May

Sassehmonsta, 2nd baby, due 31st May

Torsz, 1st baby, due 31st May

PeachPotato, DC2, due 2nd June

Fee1234, 1st baby, due 3rd June

Stellarfox, 1st baby, due 4th June

Fiona1619, DC2, due 4th June

Ksjourney, DC2, due 5th June

Mummytomollyandbean, due 6th June

MadeInCornwallx3, DC 3, due 7th June

SK17, DC1, due 7th June

ExcitedMama, DC2, due 8th June

Fabuluce, DC2, due 9th June

Silversister, DC1, due 9th June

Chocomalt, DC2, due 9th June

annihall, DC1, due 10th June

lstef, DC1+2!, due 10th June

Bimbabo, 1st baby, due 11th June

Diamondbutterfy, DC3, due 11th June

Heebyjeeby99, DC1, due 11th June

CrazyCowLady, DC1, due 11th June

KoalasAteMyHomework, DC2, due 12th June

Toasterstrudle, DC2, due 13th June

Napssavelives, dc3, due 14th June

Kimbishop86, dc2, due 14th June

Toomanyflatwhites, dc2, due 14th June

Blondcat, dc1, due 14th June

emily1511, 1st baby, DD 16th June

hexagon01, DC2, due 16th June

R4ch4el12, 1st baby, due 17th June

HoneyPea, 1st baby, due 18th June

2countries1bump, 1st baby (girl), due 19th June

Spargle, 1st baby, due 19th June

Curlypasta, dc3, due 20th June

Holly257, DC3, due 21st June

WeeBean, 1st baby, due 21st June

Bigonesmallone3, DC3, due 22nd June

Pigriver, DC2, due 22nd June

mindthechaos, DC3, due 24th June

Socktastic, DC2, due 24th June

Reastie, DC2, due 24th June

thedocisin, DC2, due 24th June

MauisLeftNipple, DC4, due 24th June

LauralovesLuke, DC1, due 25th June

Coastergirl, 2nd baby, due 26th June.

JBCG 1st baby, due 28th June

@Kescilly I've heard really good things about hypnobirthing and am actually considering w course despite being 90% sure I'll opt for c section!

My 'labour' was bizarre, waters went at home out of nowhere on my due date at 2am and contractions started. Arrived at hospital with contractions about 3 mins apart. Contractions went to 1 min apart but I hadn't dilated at all. Then son's heart rate plummeted and he was out by c section at 5am. So I was only in labour for 2/3 hours!

Got consultant app soon to discuss why they think the above happened (was a confusing time!) and see what they suggest for this time round.

@Kescilly my midwife said it is effective, so long as you regularly practise and also practise with your birth partner. My friend had a C-section and she said it helped her to keep calm throughout, despite it being a potentially overwhelming situation for a first-time mum.

@toasterstrudle and @LauralovesLuke I will definitely check it out then! I'm not nervous at the thought of a c-section, although I know a lot of women are.

I think I've entered in everyone's data so far and thought I'd mention people that I'm missing values from. If I'm only missing sex or location, I won't mention you here because I'll assume that you don't want to provide them (or will at a later date).

Please don't take this post as a sign that you have to share any additional information. I'm only doing it because I know not everyone keeps up with the thread. And let me know if you posted and I missed you!

@allfurcoatnoknickers @Bizawit @gossipgirl28 @Morgan999 I am missing your due dates and what # child this will be for you.

The following people haven't given me the "new" stats since we started the thread. These are age (at due date), sex, and location. Don't feel pressured to share these if you don't want to! I assume a lot of you have moved over to Facebook.

@rollerskaterdata
@PeachPotato
@Fiona1619
@SK17
@ExcitedMama
@Chocomalt
@Diamondbutterfly
@CrazyCowLady
@emily1511
@R4ch4el12
@curlypasta
@Holly257
@WeeBean
@mindthechaos
@changingagain
@MauisLeftNipple
@JBCG

@Kescilly sorry about that! Due date is June 11th and this is my first (and at this rate probably last) baby.

Oh, when I say hypnobirthing helped me - I didn’t pay out for one of those courses either, I just had a CD! It did compliment the pregnancy yoga classes I did as well so highly recommend that to anyone - I was pretty immobile due to PGP so I could barely do any actual yoga but the breathing stuff they teach you is the good shit.

@hexagon "the good shit" 😂😂

@Kescilly

My due date is 2nd of June, this will be my second. My DS In 8.

Thank you 😊

@Kescilly not on your list but haven't sent my stats yet. I'll be 33 on due date and we aren't finding out the sex!

Thanks @allfurcoatnoknickers and @Morgan999!

Sorry Koalas, I don’t know how I missed you! You’re definitely on the list, thanks.

Thanks for all your hard work @Kescilly!

Age at due date: 31
Baby's sex: boy
My location: Belfast
Still June 21st for due date.

I'm another one scared about the birth, actually always been pretty horrified at the idea. My work colleagues (male and female!) enjoy discussing the topic as do my in laws and to be honest it just really makes cringe, I don't want to think about it! I think I'm coming round to the idea and have decided my main fear lies in needing an induction, the interventions and possible injuries for both baby and me. I'd love to be able to ask for an ELCS if baby is lying the wrong way and they want to use those massive forceps to move him or if it looks like I'll need a forceps or suction cup delivery but I really don't know if the hospital will go for it, it'll probably be too late at that stage and and I'm not really confident enough to push the matter.

@Kescilly Sorry for delay, I am terrible with computers (and was butchering pigs most of the weekend...! Fun!!) Here are my stats:

Age (at due date): 29
Predicted sex of baby: Suprise
Location (NHS Trust): Hwyel Dda, West Wales.
Share location with other locals only: Yes

@toomanyflatwhites @Bimbabo Tommies def do (or did!!) ELCS for maternal request. I worked there as a midwife for 4 years and had a few women who did it. You might want to get on a caseload team for more support (same midwife, longer appts, usually at home, same midwife or at least a midwife from your team with you for birth. Staffing can obviously affect, but thats generally how they work). There was a specific midwife you had to see for it (annoyingly, I can't remember her name) but she 'let' almost everyone who requested one, have it.

@Bizawit I'm also thinking of doing hypnobirthing, more for the relaxation/ breathing techniques and to not freak out!

@Kescilly I did my hypnobirthing prep for my first just with a book that came with online audio tracks at home. Would really recommend it and definitely going to use it again this time.

My stats
Age (at due date) 36
Predicted sex: girl
Location: West Hertfordshire NHS
Baby number 2

I would strongly, really strongly, recommend hypnobirthing for childbirth, whichever way it comes so vaginally or CS. I would definitely say that I would always justify the spend on it as if you do a course, you WILL use it (so long as you invest the time to practise). I would also suggest you do your research on it - some hypnobirthing people can be a bit preachy, a bit holier than thou and make you feel that if you don't manage childbirth completely naturally with no pain relief (at most, gas and air) then you have failed which quite frankly defeats the whole point of it. I've heard very good things about Daisy birthing and my group was Hippo Hypnobirthing. They said the aim was to have the right birth on the day so whatever birth outcome you have the aim was to stay calm and in control the whole time. I had a 'challenging' birth thanks to being induced when my baby and body were nowhere near being ready to go and apparently the midwives were so amazed at how calm I was throughout it all that one of them even decided to go and train in it herself so she could help other mums as she saw what a difference it made for me. I ended up having a csection but it wasn't because I 'wasn't doing hypnobirthing right' it was because I wasn't labouring naturally. I would actually say, for those who are scared of surgery, of all of it having the surgery was the least 'scary' part. I was just relieved there was an end in sight and I was finally going to get to meet my baby.

@WeeBean I chose csection over an instrumental birth and would do every time. Those things can cause untold amounts of damage to you and to the baby.

Does anyone know who is in charge of adding to fb?

20 week scan on 5th so I’d like to join the group once tha is out of the way x

@Fabuluce that's my worry!! So did they induce you and you asked for a section when it was obvious intervention might be needed? I think I might chat to the midwife about it, I really want to avoid forceps etc, tbh I'd like to avoid induction altogether!

@WeeBean my case was complicated by the fact that I come from a long line of women who gestate naturally for 42 weeks but because I'm over 40 and it was an IVF baby they didn't want me to go over 39 weeks as there is an increased risk of stillbirth. We negotiated to 39.5 in the end but induction was just not cutting it - I had 2 pessaries over 24hrs that didn't work in the slightest, my waters were broken when I wasn't even 1cm dilated it then took syntocinon to get me started and after 18hrs of hard and fast contractions I still wasn't even 6cm dilated plus the baby then decided it was time to go back to back just to make things even more challenging! They then said I could wait another 4 hours but the likelihood was it wouldn't get that much further and would definitely need instrumental delivery or I could go straight to csection. I said right from the start, and had it in my notes, that I would refuse instrumental in favour of csection. My sister's insides were pretty damaged from 2 instrumental deliveries and her surgeon said to her that he would always recommend CS over instrumental every time due to the damage that can be caused (and that GPs tend to overlook or not know what to look for).

Thanks @CrazyCowLady. I’m lucky and feel supported already. The consultant put in my notes at 12 weeks that I was for an elective section. At the 16 week midwife appointment she told me I was ‘quite right’ and that’s what she would want, plus my bits would still be intact. Did slightly wonder if she was a real midwife with that one! 🤣

As I’m having our baby where I work, I’m not a midwife, nurse in the same hospital. I feel more than happy with how it all will go. I work mainly with anaesthetists and as it’s a small general hospital I know most of the theatre staff. My husband also works there and I know he’ll be an advocate for me and make sure it’s all going the way it should. At the moment I’m quite relaxed about it all. Just want June to come, have my babyectomy and go home and hopefully have a happy ever after 🤞🏻

@Pigriver
Same due date, same date for 20 week scan x

I think you can only do what you think is best for you, at that time, and with the information you have. Every labour and birth is so different.
I am definitely going to look into hypnobirthing or at least meditation and breathing exercises this time round. I had some very firm views about what I didn't want last time, and then ended up having most of the drugs and interventions I had categorically decided against! So this time I think I'll go with the flow a bit more. DH knows what to expect a bit more this time and is more confident about advocating for me if he needs to.
I had an assisted delivery- failed ventouse/kiwi and forceps used. This was mainly to help turn DS slightly as he moved a bit out of position right towards the end. Next step would have been c section, but for me the forceps were the right choice as he wasn't "pulled out" they just helped guide him at the end and for me the recovery was therefore much better than if I'd have to have a section.

Gosh I’d love to have that sort of calmness and knowledge about what was going to happen.

I’ve always been nervous about childbirth, but I think it’s all been made worse by my experiences since I got pregnant. I got so stressed out just trying to find out what to do and how to set up an appointment with the midwife when I got pregnant. Let alone the way I had to keep pushing for a thyroid test.

I think about how upset and helpless that made me feel, and how magnified that will be when delivering my baby. It took me a few months to seek additional medical treatment in this pregnancy because every encounter made me feel stupid and upset. I know I won’t be able to advocate for myself in childbirth and that scares me.

Kescilly I am certainly not calm about the prospect haha! I do think its important to have a birthing partner who is very clear on your opinions on what you do and don't want, and who can liaise with the midwife etc so that you can carry on labouring without distraction. I did an antenatal class last time and loads of research etc but every birth is so different. I know its easier said than done but try not to worry too much and maybe seek some extra help to talk about your fears in the meantime. The main thing to focus on is the beautiful baby at the end! I am determined to keep active and eat this time, but am sure it'll all go out the window when it happens haha!

@Kescilly I think I’m lucky where I never really get stressed or anxious about things in general. I’m a this is what needs done to get this so that’s what I need to do. If that makes sense🤨

The world would be boring if we all saw and acted in the same way.

My biggest fear is bring the baby up and hopefully we teach it to be a good and kind human. I’d have surgery everyday if I knew it would result in that.

@Fabuluce seems like we had very similar birth experiences. I was induced too (albeit at almost 42 weeks) After they broke my waters and turned up the drip it was literally the most excruciating pain ever - the midwives were really impressed with how I was handling the pain using just a TENS machine and I credit that to hypnobirthing techniques. After 18 hours of labouring I still hadn't gotten past 3 cms so was more than relieved when they suggested a section. DD just didn't want to come out! Like you I found the surgery the easiest bit of it all as the pain was finally over and it was so simple straightforward and quick. That's why I've opted for another section. Within my NCT group half of those who had natural births have had complications (one needed further vaginal surgery 6 months later because they stitched her up wrongly, one had a 3rd degree tear and another had an episiotomy scar that then got infected) I know this isn't the norm and just all extremely unlucky but its still scared me

@lstef if you do end up having a c section don't worry about breastfeeding. After coming out of theatre DD latched within the first 15 mins and has been a total boob monster since. We never had any problems with bfing and only weaned at 2.5yrs

@kescilly I too was very and for me, the difference has been made through taking as much control as I can. I have done this by paying for an antenatal fitness instructor I meet weekly (to strengthen my body for birth), reading Ina May Books and Zita West and other experienced authors (to think about positive experiences), going to active birth preparation classes weekly and talking to people there about their previous experiences. My fear and anxiety stems from working a job with children with severe and complex needs where I frequently hear the most difficult. Then I try to remember that my job covers 4% and not the other 96% whom I will never see because they're typically developing! When I first got pregnant I cried frequently about the birth and I would then cry more thinking about the damaging effect cortisol has on a foetus. Now I think - "I could have a baby and freak out or I could just have a baby". Yes I'm spending a lot of money, but it's on my health and wellbeing and for me that is totally worth it.