Due February 2019: here come the babies!

[maxiflump1]

New thread ladies. 2 gorgeous bundles have already arrived...

Nobody has mentioned a health visitor to me this pregnancy (my second) and I'm 36 weeks so not sure whether anyone will be coming to me?

Welcome @mummymummymummummum
Xx

@detachablehoof please don’t beat yourself up over the feeding. It’s not selfish, you have a choice between ways of feeding your baby and whatever is best for you is best for your baby too. Honestly formula fed babies are perfectly healthy and happy. My mum was a social worker and she said ‘you can’t tell the difference between a toddler who is formula fed and one who is breastfed’. I’m planning to breastfeed but I know it might not work out and that formula is a good option too.

My NCT antenatal class covered all forms of feeding too and that made me more relaxed. They have some advice and a video here: www.nct.org.uk/baby-toddler/feeding/early-days/bottle-feeding-your-baby
plus their breastfeeding councillors are actually happy to give advice on bottle feeding too. Perhaps there are some YouTube videos or mumsnet threads about formula feeding you could watch/read that might also make you less worried?

I weighed myself this morning - just because! First time since I was weighed at my 12 week scan, and I've put on about 2 stone since my 12 week scan! I think 2.5 stone overall...and I'm only 34 weeks! It could have been worse in fairness as I think I'd put on around the same amount by about 35-36 weeks when I was pregnant with DS, and I was a few lbs heavier starting this time. Plus I've eaten ALL THE FOOD so I deserve it.

I hope it falls off quickly this time though, I think 4 weeks post natal with DS I only had a stone left to lose which isn't too bad!

@detachablehoof feed how you like.

I didn't breastfeed at all with DD. Had no want or urge to. she was purely FF from first feed.

@detachablehoof if you don't want to bf then don't. It's easy to say but please don't beat yourself up over how you feed your baby. I did with my first (and still do). In terms of bottles/formula/sterilising, your baby is likely to take whatever bottle you offer if you offer it early on and there are strict production rules on formula so there isn't really one 'best' formula, they're all similar. There are different ways of sterilising so you'll find the one that works best for you. I've used microwave, sterilising tablets and electric steam sterilisers. The tablets were the most faff but all were fine.

No one has mentioned a health visitor to me either @yakadee

Thanks for your kind words ladies. I did bring it up with my health visitor just now and she was like the midwife, "it's your decision but you should BF and FF is totally inferior" ... and then proceeded to give me a load of info about how to deal with blocked milk ducts and nipple confusion etc which has put me off even more - I'm certain I won't get on well with BF so surely it makes sense for me to FF from day 1?! I just can't make the decision to do that, as I feel too guilty

@Surprisedmom thanks for the NCT link, very helpful. Most of the advice online is so skewed towards BF and there isn't really any info about how to safely FF.

Other than that the health visitor just talked about what support I have, gave me the little red book, and told me about what resources I can go to locally. Fairly straight forward and I needn't have bothered scrubbing the kitchen floor as she didn't even go in there although I'm wishing I'd never said anything to her about not wanting to BF as she will be checking up on me after the baby arrives!

@detachablehoof they don't seem to be able to recommend ff. Guidelines state that they have to promote bf. It's very personal though. I wanted to bf dd but for various reasons stopped very early on. I was lucky that my health visitor at the time was very pragmatic and supportive but the community midwives weren't. They'll visit after the baby is born anyway and always ask about feeding so be prepared for that. Your health (physical and mental) is also important and if you're not well and in a good place it makes it harder with a newborn. I agree that there is little information about ff. I had a friend who was also ff so we spoke a bit. Sterilising bottles before use and using hot water to dissolve the powder (if you use powder) are generally considered important but how much to feed and when to increase the size of feeds is very much trial and error ime.

I saw my midwife just now and she said hospitals now dont provide milk but if breast feeding fails they send your partner out to get milk.

She said it's new and they are just trying to encourage breastfeeding as much as possible. She didn't agree with it but the hospital trust have said they will do disposable teats and bottles but no milk.

@detachablehoof it's entirely your choice don't feel guilty!
The health visitor is correct in terms of the milk it isn't possible to replicate or synthesise the antibodies etc thats in breast milk it's just not possible. But it doesn't mean that your baby will go hungry far from it ff babies maintain weight better generally and if your going to be miserable and it affect your mental health then that's not going to be good for you or baby.

I'm a believer in happy mum = happy baby and what that looks like is different for everyone.

I'm going to give it a go (mainly because it's free) if it works then great but if not then ff is a great alternative. My midwife is really good about it and explained that bf is the party line they have to follow and yes it can't be replicated but its more important to have a happy settled mum.

@detachablehoof don’t feel like you have to make a definite decision now. See how it goes once you’ve given birth - even if you just feed baby a few times they will be getting the colostrum, which is super valuable. I mix fed for 6 weeks with my first then moved to exclusive formula feeding. This time I’m hoping to do similar.

Happy to do an idiots guide to formula feeding if anyone would find it useful - is always planned to bf and when I had to start using formula I found that it was really hard to get information on how to do it safely, it was a v stressful time!!

For those of you on here who are teachers, if you call your union and tell them you’re on mat leave they reduce your subscription rate for its duration. I didn’t realise until the other day so thought i’d best share incase anyone else didn’t know either.

P.s. I guess this could apply to anyone else who is a member of a union. Worth checking out if you are.

I'm on the fence regarding feeding, too. Luckily enough, the midwife who leads my antenatal care is very much "do what's best for you, happy mum = happy baby, there's pros and cons to both, main thing is you and the baby bond and are happy" which I'm so glad about. I want to try BF but deep down it's not something I feel 100% comfortable doing. I think I'll end up doing it for the first few days then bottle feeding (or maybe doing a mixture of bottle and expressing if that works).

I'm 36 +4 today and I have a feeling the baby will be coming sooner rather than later. I've had odd cramping sensations on/off the last few days (been checked by the midwife and baby is fine/moving plenty) so I don't know if that's my body preparing for labour or not? My mum was early with me and my brother, too, so I've always expected it potentially being an option. Trying to just take it easy and not stress myself out because I'd really prefer if we can hold off at least another week before anything happens and don't want to bring it on! At least I'm finally off on maternity leave and can take some time out :)

@detachablehoof - I won't be breastfeeding, personally I hated it with my first and I'm intending to bf whatsoever with this lo. Go with what makes you happy - best advice I was ever given!

Also, how spooky - I just said earlier that I haven't had any contact from a health visitor and guess who called earlier!! Z

Also, weighed myself this morning and I've somehow only put on 2 stone 3 lbs since I found out! I'm amazed as put on twice as much with my son! No idea how that's happened! (I've even lost a pound since before Xmas??) x

Can I just ask can anyone recommend a Moses basket that’s safe and decent but not too expensive? I’ve ordered the tutti bambini Cozee for upstairs and I think I just need a Moses basket and stand for downstairs but don’t want to spend loads as the Cozee wasn’t cheap... 🤔 There’s a few on Amazon but obviously don’t just want to buy any rubbish...

I think I’ve put on at least a stone and a half but to look at me I’ve only out weight on my bump so who knows. I feel like I eat too much chocolate etc rhlkfb (although only as much as before pregnancy)

Really interesting to hear everyone's plans for feeding. I want to BF for at least as long as long as last time (1 month exactly) but I'd like to try and do it for longer, if it works for us. I'm keen to introduce at least one bottle early on though, so the night feed load can be shared.

I agree detachablehoof don't feel pressure, you're in the majority if you FF.

I agree that breast is best. Obviously. It's a scientific fact. But I've never seen any tangible evidence of this, if that makes sense. My sister was EBF for 12 months, me for 5 months, and has asthma much, much worse than mine, allergies etc. A friend FF her first from very early on, BF her second for 9 months. Her first is never ill, spoke early etc. Her second has eczema, is often ill, speech delay.

Basically my point is what the lovely midwife said to me when I wanted to stop after a month - at the school gates you would never know who was BF and who was FF. If BF is important for you and works, great. It's definitely a lovely, special way to bond. But if not, that's fine too

Yakadee that's amazing! I've eaten all the food, and tend to put on a bit over Christmas even when not pregnant!

Can someone send me a link to the fb group please? I tried ages and ages ago but the link just kept taking me to the log in page.

@Lookingforadvice123 - I'm seriously amazed! No idea how I've done it xx

@mummymummymummummum Welcome!

I’m planning to attempt BF but worried I’ll struggle as I’ve always felt weird about it. I wanted to try to do the six weeks before introducing a bottle which I heard about at the classes but not sure I’ll hack it, I want my DH to have to do some of it!

He’s currently eating his dinner and the noise is making me murderous but moving is so hard!

@AliceRR re Moses baskets Aldi have them on sale from tomorrow for £30. I picked one up in the last baby sale and they look great quality. Am popping in tomorrow to stock up on muslins, wipes and sudocream!

I ebf for 2 week last time before switching to combi feeding after nearly loosing my mind! Managed to mix feed until about 8 weeks and then went totally to formula. Plan to do the same again this time. I had serious mum guilt last time and determined to be more relaxed about it this time. DH nearly threw the HV out last time after she gave me a hard time got stopping!

I had my final midwife appointment today - she weighed me (apparently standard procedure) and I’ve put on just under a stone and a half, which is the same as last time. Just need to make an effort not to put more on whilst on maternity leave this time!!

@maxiflump1 Thank you. Is that without a stand?