June 2019 babies - part 5!!!!

[socktastic]

2nd trimester for all the lovely June mummies out there! Yippee!!!

Stellar dd didn’t start in any kind of nursery until she was 3. Our local nursery was quite booked when we visited (which was only a few months before she started as I was in denial about her going so left it late) and we were told we’d get whatever slots were left after everyone else had chosen theirs and generally didn’t find they felt very caring or bothered about it (they were rated as excellent). We visited three nurseries and ended out sending dd to a private school nursery that was wonderful and she loved. It was just right for dd at the time but we then had issues when she moved up to the bigger class. We did then move her to another nursery attached to the school she went to the following year. We didn’t have any issues with times and sessions but they were both attached to private schools and were only School term time/hours whereas lots of places are year round working hours. Also worth knowing (as I didn’t) the government will pay for a certain number of hours a week from when they get to 3 (unless it’s changed since dd). Not all nurseries offer this government funding or have specific limits on it so its worth asking when you get there. I’m not thinking about it yet here but then I don’t imagine to need it again until a similar time, if you’re thinking of going back to work soon after it might be worth starting to think about it and doing some research.

Typically children qualify for funded nursery places (I.e. school nursery) at 3 years old. Currently, my son is in a private nursery when im at work but it's childcare which I pay well over the odds for.
I'm in Scotland though so ages may be different in different parts of the country but not by much I don't think.

@fabuluce what's BRAINs? I've tried googling but obviously just normal brains keeps coming up...

@Reastie I would say it's worth having a look at the nurseries in your area - and asking about waiting lists as some areas get booked up early. There's also a lot of terrible examples of nurseries out there so beware (for example, no toys out at children's height etc) so it's good to get an idea in your head of you want for your child. Part of my job involves visiting children in nurseries and out of the 50+ I've visited in the area I cover in my job, I would send my child to about 2 or 3 of them.

So just had my first experience of what I'm told to expect as a local custom - a lady I hardly know (the receptionist at a hotel we were staying at) stroked and then kissed my bump!!!!

I know she meant well by it but I found it super weird, especially as at 16 weeks I'm hardly huge.

Anyone else had this? Tips for managing?

@Kescilly as others have said you don’t need to worry about that at all for now, especially if you’re staying at home. When your child is 3 they qualify for 15 hours free at nursery automatically, and if both parents are working it’s 30 hours free (depending on the nursery, bit of a confusing funding situation), but you don’t have to send them of course. Children will generally start primary school the September before they turn five. They start in reception then go up to year 1 etc etc. Apologies if I’ve repeated what anyone else said. Must be so confusing getting to grips with a system you didn’t grow up with!

also downloaded then deleted that app @napssavelives! Couldn’t find it then started to freak out, not good for my anxiety.

@2countries1bump oh no! Already! Last time I tended to just put my arms round my bump and turn away if I suspected that might happen, not so easy if you’re not expecting it though! I think you’re absolutely fine to be firm with your boundaries though and ask people not to do that, a pregnant woman’s body is not pubLic property. I can’t bear being touched unexpectedly and it’s just way too intimate for anyone to be doing without checking first!

@Torsz yes I’m going to try not using that app again now I’ve done my dog as well 😄

@Kescilly to be honest it’s all new to me too but other peoples advice sounds good! It sounds like you sort out your own childcare or pay for a nursery/childminder until they are 3 and then you can get government funding for nursery until they start school at 4 or 5! Let me know if I’m wrong anyone!

Just to be the odd one out here, we missed out on the feeder nursery into the nearest primary school because we didn't register DS when I was pregnant with him. The waitlist is insane! Thankfully I got him into another nursery which we love and is smaller and has good connections with the school but he still had to wait 6 months for that one. All the nurseries around here are rammed so it's a good idea to check. I'm a stay at home mum but he was definitely ready to start nursery at 3! He did three mornings a week for the first time and next week will be doing one full day and two mornings. Come September I'll probably up that to 2 full days and one morning and then probably increase again the following January to get him used to the hours before starting school the following September. This is a private nursery that follows school timings (hours, holidays etc) rather than a daycare nursery that runs throughout the year and longer hours and is for working parents. Hope that makes sense.

@hexagon01 that makes sense, sounds like something I will need to look into more closely eventually. It is confusing! I did check when we moved into our house that there is a good primary school here. But I didn’t look too much into things because we weren’t even sure if we wanted children. A lot has changed in the past year!

Does anyone else have an anomaly scan coming up?

@Kescilly my scan is on the 14th, so a week on Monday 😊

@Kescilly I've got two scans coming up, one here on 18th and one back in the UK on 24th - I can't wait!

@fee1234 Glad someone else is up in the small hours. Have a cold and can't sleep so up drinking hot honey and lemon so DH gets some sleep. At least I'm making good use of the slanket I got for Christmas.

Anyone else awake?

Me! I'm awake too. I've had weird sleep for the past few days according to my Fitbit. I'm getting a reasonable length of time asleep (albeit from 8 or 9:30 - 4ish) but yesterday I had zero deep sleep and last night I had 11 mins. It means I feel utterly shattered.

@fee1234 @2countries1bump getting close! It’s great to see them developing, isn’t it?

I barely slept last night, I think I was too stressed about my visa application. I’ll be happy to hand that in today.

Also re nurseries there’s a trend here of ‘forest schools’ where the nursery is completely outside in the woods and they do all sorts of nature activities.

Ooh yes - there's a forest school just opening up near me that I'm hoping will be good for my DS to spend a day at a week. He's such a physical little being, I think he'll love it.

Good luck today @Kescilly - will you know straight away?

I've emailed three nurseries yesterday, for this time next year, and one has already replied and said they are already 50% full in the baby room so to give them a ring to book a look around

With forest school, it's a fantastic thing for kids of all ages BUT just be aware there's forest school and Forest School. To run Forest School there are accredited courses at three different levels to cover all the H&S and progression stuff, I don't know if nurseries do this like schools do or if they offer forest school (their own version, technically shouldn't be called forest school without the qualification). I doubt it matters too much with little ones as they won't be lighting fires and developing knife skills like older kids, so it's more like going for a walk/to the park which is well within the remit of nursery staff, but it could be an interesting question to ask!

Yes - @heyha - totally agree - the evidence base in terms of child development is built upon Forest School - not someone doing their own version!! An analogy of what I mean would be following your own version of a cake recipe, missing out the eggs, then wondering why it didn't work.

@Kescilly mine is this coming Tuesday, so in a few days time. Wasn't nervous until now, now it's so close!

Heyha that’s fascinating, I didn’t realise. Dds school have recently introduced once a week forest school for early years which seems to be they kit up and spend the morning outside collecting leaves etc in the very small school grounds. It’s very different to the forest school a friend of my sons went to where they had outdoor hole in the ground for a loo and was a lot more hardy. Definitely something I’ll enquire further about. A lot of nurseries around here have started to introduce forest school days in the grounds of existing nurseries because it’s a great selling feature to look good.

Managed to boom in a docs appointment for this morning. Hope I'm not overreaching. Worried about being anaemic? Constantly dizzy/lightheaded and permanently exhausted. Sickness seems to be subsiding a bit but still having mouthfuls here and there. Spewed up an empty stomach this morning - all the acid and bile it's awful.

@Kescilly My anomaly is 20 something of Jan. Trying not to think about it, as went down a bit of a rabbit hole of the specific conditions they look for and Google'd them and then found threads on here with other mums having horrible news at the scan and had to close the computer and not think about it!

Rationally, I'm pretty sure things will be fine and there are even some conditions that I'd be ok with the baby having (a small cleft palate or a very mild, easily managed heart condition). I don't know what I'd do about either a terminal condition, or a 50:50 life/death one. I'd want to keep being pregnant as I'm starting to enjoy it (!) and probably a bit in denial, or the option would be to end the pregnancy. It feels like a bit too much to think about until you are given the answers at the time of the scan, doesn't it?

And maybe a little bit deep at 10am on a Friday morning?!

How is everyone else feeling about their 20 week scan?

@Fabuluce normally it takes months (up to six but usually around three) for a decision. We paid £600 pounds for priority processing because I was worried about getting kicked out of the country and having to give birth in the US without health insurance. So hopefully we will find out sometime next week!

@socktastic could it be low blood pressure? I’ve been feeling dizzy but I think it’s just down to that.

@rollerskaterdata and @crazycowlady it’s so easy to worry, isn’t it? Practice for being a parent, I suppose! I do have a close friend who received bad news at her 20 week scan. It was her first baby after multiple miscarriages and they found that the baby had a severe heart defect. It was really difficult because she didn’t even know if she’d have a baby to bring home.

She has had multiple heart surgeries and ultimately a transplant, so it’s been a rough ride. But she’s grown and is thriving, so it’s been better than expected.

I’m nervous (my scan is next week) but all we can do is hope for the best.

I am just anxious to see my babies again and hoping for healthy ones - don't want to start down the rabbit hole of all the things that could be wrong - I have health anxiety so the smallest thing can send me into a tailspin - like stroking an elderly cat on Christmas day (scared of toxo).

@LauralovesLuke - BRAINs in my understanding is related to interventions and being offered different things, altho now I look at my book it doesnt have the I in it (maybe Fabuluce can help here)
Benefits - of doing the intervention (e.g. induction etc.
Risks - of doing it
Alternatives
Nothing - effects of doing nothing

It's designed to help with informed choice rather than being forced or persuaded to do something.

I watched a video on twin home birth on fb and altho perhaps an ideal scenario- I find it sad that the care is so medicalised (btw I am happy to be consultant led so I have people around me with the correct skills if something happens, rather than being 40 mins from hospital). The woman had leading twin head down and second footling breech - they would never deliver naturally in that case here, as far as I know. She only had midwives! it was amazing to watch. possibly rare though to not have any complications, i dunno.

in other news my boobs have started leaking - colostrum I guess - anyone else? didnt expect it this early at 16+5...