Pregnancy after loss: spring 2019 edition (The Brexit Babes) 🐧 Part 2

[Pancakes7]

The old thread got closed at 1000 posts, I'm not sure why. So I've started this new one. I hope you all find it ok. @Swisbest2 @OneMoreWish @frankiefumbles @Kisses4u @hayleyfx @Maydot @Jessabean

@dreaminofholidays yes!! When I think I'll actually have a tiny human who is dependant on me I do have a panic even though it's everything we've ever wanted. And yes we have a dog who is very much our baby so making sure she has a good routine and kicking her out of our bed now before baby comes haha xx

@junex88 totally agree someone was just saying how they like you to leave hospital the same day you give birth and I was like perfect, don't want to stay in hospital but then I realised that will mean it's just us and the baby and we won't have a clue what to do. eeek!

We need to move ours out the bedroom at night asap, DH keeps resisting. We've set them up their own bedroom in a spare room to ease the transition. They are very much our fur babies too xxx

@dreaminofholidays and @xJune88 Yes I do sometimes think, omg we're going to be reasonable for a tiny person! I think my excitement to meet him overrides that feeling sometimes lol. I think I'll feel more confident when we do our NCT classes.

Responsible **

It's crazy isn't it how we try so much for a baby and go through heartbreak through loss and it's still such a scary and surreal thought been a mum haha. Sure well all be fine though. Yeah were unsure were our fur babies new bed should live as she's a softie and quite anxious when away from us x

@xJune88 Yeah, exactly. We all want these babies so much. Then it's like omg it's happening lol.

I had a stressful day yesterday. I went to London for the day with some friends. But all day I didn't feel much movement from baby. Got myself so worried. When I got home it was quite late. But I phoned Maternity triage and they said to go in. They listened and found heartbeat straight away. I really thought the worst and had been crying alot. This is my first panic in this pregnancy. I mean what is baby up to? Worrying me so much. He has moved a bit more since but I'm still feeling a bit on edge. Anyone else had a day of less movement?

Hello all, yes @Pancakes7 I've worried lots like that! I have days where she doesn't move much, tends to be the days I'm mega busy and don't get time really to stop and feel. Then come the evening I lay in bed waiting and waiting for her to wriggle. I've kept myself awake at night worrying! However as soon as I feel one or two kicks I feel immediately better! Even if it feels like I waited hours for them!
The midwife said to me that I need to drink really cold icy water and lay on my left side to get babe to move. Apparently the baby can feel the cold water in your stomach and don't like it! So wriggle away! It does work, so maybe try that next time you are worried?

In terms of worrying about becoming mums, I was the same with my first! I just felt this overwhelming sense of responsibility the day we put him in his car seat and drove (like at snails pace) home. It's going to take a few days before you really think 'wow I'm a mum!!' I remember baby crying one night and In my sleep deprived state I thought 'what's that?!' Haha! I forgot I had a baby!!!

Take a few days home to yourself, visitors will drive you bonkers! Make sure they don't over stay their welcome!
One of my friends came over and stayed for HOURS giving me loads of advice etc... I remember none of it. I just remember thinking 'my baby is asleep and so should I be if you would just bugger off now!!!' This time around I shall be going to visit the friends instead of inviting ppl round. That way you are waited on (instead of having to make your guests tea and cake!) and you can leave when you want!!! Win win!!! 😆

@pancakes7 that sounds really stressful so glad everything is ok. I had a day or so this week where the baby was quiet, (could it be the stage we are at?) I woke up panicking about when i had last felt them move but didn't call as had my midwife app. The midwife did say to me just call up, never sit at home or anywhere worrying just call and get it checked so will do next time.

@kisses4u that's interesting about visitors. I'm a little worried cos I feel like those first two weeks when DH is home I will just want to spend time being a family unit and hopefully helping the dogs adjust so I don't really want lots of visitors but is that mean?! x

Thanks @Kisses4u and @dreaminofholidays. I am feeling physically and emotionally drained today. Will just rest today. It was my first busy day since him moving, so I think I wasn't used to not feeling him. I have my mw appointment on Wednesday so atleast I'll hear his heartbeat again then.

Oh @Pancakes7 Glad everything was ok.
I had the same thing last weekend. Didn’t feel baby move at all last Saturday so went in to get monitored. I was an emotional wreck but Everything was fine. They told me if I go a 3 hour period without movement to go back and get checked again

@Maydot Yeah, they said because I'm not 28 weeks yet I can't be monitored but they checked the heartbeat so that reassured me. Troublesome little boy, scaring us. DH was really worried. I think due to me getting pretty worked up... I'm glad you're ok too.

@dreaminofholidays that sounds pretty sensible. We totally wished we had done that. We literally arrived home Friday afternoon then the visitors didn't stop coming 😩 ppl will respect your wishes to have some time together as a family for two weeks. We did limit to family to begin with, however there's a lot of them so it was super busy and ppl need to eat, so it got stressful for me. This time I'm filling the freezer with meals and staying in my pjs for a good week with NO VISITORS!!! Ha!

Yeah I think we'll just have family mainly. I want to enjoy our first 2 weeks together as family.

Yes @pancakes7 I was at hospital a fee Saturdays ago for reduced movement she scared the life out of me!! It's so difficult she has no pattern at all so very hard to keep track or be fully aware of her. She seems to have mad days then really quiet days. I'm just trying to stay calm! Xx

@xJune88 I'm glad it's not just me. Feel a bit silly and guilty now as made my DH really worry. I was a bit hysterical....

@pancakes7 don't feel silly or guilty, sounds as though we are all in the same boat. I almost got a telling off for not going in sooner so it is always better to act on it.
I don't think I have a pattern either, also like you say its different when you have a really full on day and then start to think about it xxx

Hello I'm new here.

I've never had much look with lots of losses. Then my period was late & I had symptoms so I bought a test. I did another one and it's gone up on the weeks indicator, but by the due date calculator it should be more.

Going to the toilet is a nightmare, as everytime I go it's a panic that I'm going to find I'm bleeding.

This is totally unexpected, but a really happy thing to happen.

It's just a nightmare nerves wise as I've had so many losses, it's hard not to focus on the worst.

Hello to everyone else on here, hope you're having a good day.

Have any of you been to the EPAU yet, would you recommend I get that sorted to put my mind at rest? I'm at risk of ectopic so I need to get scanned to get that checked, but it's been so long since I last went through this I can't remember when you go.

@Cantbelievemyluck Welcome. Have you just found out? We are all around 23-28 weeks I think. We understand the nerves completely. I found the first 12 weeks the hardest. I booked an early private scan at 7 weeks to check for a heartbeat. I recommend it. It'll put your mind at rest. Or if repeated loss, nhs may give you one for free? I'm not sure. We are all here for you if you need a safe space to worry/vent.

@CantBelieveMyLuck Also if you did a test with weeks on it. Read the leaflet. 1-2 weeks means you're 3-4 weeks pregnant and so on. It does from conception not from period. So give the leaflet a read. Then the dates should match up better for you.

Thanks @dreaminofholidays. I guess we are all in the same boat. You love your little baby so much already. It's all we think about! So we notice every little thing lol.

Thank you so much, I read that it means I'm 4/5 weeks, I was really hoping today it would be 3+ as by LMP I'm 5+4 so I'm guessing I ovulated around CD18/19/20 then depending on implantation etc. Although I remember DH & I were doing stuff & he commented I'd bled a little weeks ago, so guessing maybe implantation bleed.

The good thing is (sorry for TMI) my boobs are going crazy. DH can't believe his luck.

I've had lots of MC's plus an ectopic, so I get to book myself in to the EPAU around 7 weeks to make sure it's in the right place. Before now with niggly pains and stuff, my GP would run beta's 48 hours apart.

I've not been pregnant in years as last time is was fertility tx, so this is a total surprise, but a good one. I just thought one weekend it's not like me to be really snappy, with PCOS periods can be all over anyway, so learned not to get excited if AF didn't come.

Did it get better for any of you ladies once you'd had the 7 week scan it was it still scary? I've had losses & a MMC, so I don't know if I'll be totally happy after a 7 week scan. Although I'd had bleeding etc, so as long as that doesn't happen... It's just hard with the random pains, but having gynae issues I know if things are growing then adhesions are going to be creating havoc etc.

Congrats to everyone being nearly in the final trimester.

Thank you for the warm welcome.

@CantBelieveMyLuck Tbh I felt better for a bit. But then booked another 9 week scan. Only after the dating scan did I start to feel ok. But as you can see from my experience this weekend. You still get worries. I really hope all goes well for you this time. 7 week scan at epu is good, so only 1 or 2 weeks to go. Contact them now and book it in.

@CantBelieveMyLuck congratulations. My early scan made me feel better in terms it was in the right place but didn't reassure me or my anxiety. Epu were amazing with me and offered me a scan every week if it made me feel better (I probably had one scan every 2 weeks) and I had alot of bleeding at 9, 11 and 14 weeks with clots but baby hung on and is kicking me right now. I didn't connect with baby at all and kind of pretended I wasn't pregnant incase the worse happened again (had a mc and a mmc) still petrified now tbh at 26+1 That she'll come early or something bad will happen but we will all manage and get through xxx

I think if you've ever experienced anything like we have, you kind of detach yourself from it, as you're scared that something will go wrong. I would say never feel like you're being OTT if you even just need reassurance from a CTG.

I finally got 3+ on a test, thought I'd wait till today. Got some pretty bad pain, I keep expecting the worse everytime I nip to the toilet.

Going to call the EPU today to let them know and to book in.

It's all been a bit of a shock as we did all the treatment, gave up, then years later this happens. I'd completely forgot how batshit it can make you, like poking your boobs just to check they still hurt.

I saw that they've worked on a scanning thing that can be linked to your phone. It's £1/1.5k which is crazy money, plus you never know if having the ability to scan whenever is a bad thing.

Really hope you're all ok, I hope and pray that the scares stop soon.