I've just read the days news here, and I've gone from feeling a bit glum to giggling. This really is the best medicine. Thank you so much for the words of support too. I'm feeling much better about things. Sooooo, do you wanna hear about my day?
Slept right through! No heartburn, no cough, no crying ds2 (he did slip in unnoticed with me at some stage though). Woke up to dh bringing me croissants in bed! Peace offering I think. He must have gone out either really late or early to get them, either way there was effort involved. He said I'm to stay in bed and he'll get dc ready for the day. (Had to get up though for dr appt). He had day off today, he takes ds1 to school and then ds2 to grandma's. So I get ready for the day in my own time, and off to drs. She is really understanding. She prescribed me St. John's wort as a pick me up, just to give me a little pep. I then go off to work. My work list today, although long, was EASY! So I flew through that, and then took the decision NOT to contact payroll to continue my arguement re maternity pay. That can wait till next week when I'm a little stronger. So I go home, picking up from school on the way. I get home and what to I find? The grass cut; those 2 ft weeds in my borders gone; tomato, cucumber, aubergine, pepper plants bedded in; furniture that needed delivering somewhere gone; and that pigging rusting washing machine that has sat in the back garden for 6 mths, and the cause of so many arguements because he refused to move it, GONE. He then continues to make up new kitchen new table and chairs, WHILE supervising dc painting pictures; proceeds to do their tea; gets them both in bed by 7 so he can go out for the evening; and offers to get me a take-out (declined, though am now regretting that decision!)
Slight pause as I fall to the floor with shock and pick myself up again. NEVER has he been so productive. Or eager to muck in. Yes I think he is my dh and not someone else's. The most amazing thing is when I look at him, his face is clearer and more lifted (iyswim) and his eyes are shining. His cloud has lifted. I'm not sure how or why, but it definately seems to have. The problems certainly haven't gone away and there are big, big, big ishoos to deal with, but for today I'm happy (thrilled) to accept the effort he has made.
As to why, I'm going to really stick my neck out here. I know he knows I come on here and he knows my nn. I think he may have seen my posts and probably felt a kick up the arse. Anyway, we'll take a day at a time and when we're ready to talk, we'll follow your advice to talk, talk, talk. (Btw, what is cognitive therapy - he has had 'talking' therapy, is this the same).
Its such a shame we all seem to be going through the bloos in some form or other to varying degrees. It's so good to talk - well type. Just knowing you're not alone really helps. I felt all those hugs, and I'm all for a big (((((((((((group hug))))))))))))). Cheers everyone. (Yes, it was me with the working for nothing diatribe. I admit that but I fear you may now switch loyalties to dh as a put-upon, downtrodden, nagged husband. gulp!) (Phew, that feels long)