July 2019 Part 3 - Still in the 1st Trimester!

[TwittleBee]

Starting a new thread as we near the 1000 comment mark on the Part 2 one!

It is nearly December and I am sure all we want for Xmas are healthy pregnancies and babies

Good luck to everyone still here and so sorry for how many we have already lost on the way

Here is a new, editable, link for the google Doc Register:
docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1y-XaVbeNQM-bCGlr_UxXxcBBNGUfIVQY_4htZRUpbbw/edit?usp=sharing

Going to be exciting when the 12 week scan photos start rolling in!

I feel guilty that with my first pregnancy I was so blissfully unaware of how common it is and what awful experiences some people are going through. We really dont talk about it enough.

I'm so sorry @ratherbeshowjumping 💕

My heart is so heavy with all the sad news. Sending lots of love to anyone who needs it this morning.

@Kentishgal no I was completely naive with my first two. In fact I was so naive that I went into every scan super excited to see my baby again. It never even entered my mind that something could go wrong. I mean, that happened to other people, right? Luckily for us, I had two healthy boys.

Then it happened to us. Even when I went to to that scan I expected to see a wriggly little baby as I had only had a small bleed and no other warnings. But that was the end of life as I knew it for me.
It really shook me to the core. Then it happened again.

Then I joined lots of babyloss groups and found out how common it is. I don't know if that is a curse or a blessing really. I feel like I know too much.

But at the same time I now know the utter life change and heartache it brings so I feel like I can contribute something. Whereas before I just wouldn't be able to relate.

It's a shitty world

@frazzlerock I agree, in some ways I think I know too much. I’ve never suffered loss but Ive gone through it with my best friend several times and also close family members. Also a lot I’ve read online! feel it’s made me over anxious with my pregnancy x

Completely agree, we were blissfully naive with ds, even though I had cramping and bleeding at 6 weeks, everything (luckily) was fine. We had complications at birth but again we were both ok but before he turned six months we had been to the funerals of 2 newborn babies (one the daughter of dh's colleague and one the daughter of our very close friends). I'm much more aware of baby loss now through trying to support our friends and this pregnancy is comsequently already full of anxiety. DH is away for a week so took ds to Tesco this morning and felt some very strong twinges down there, I probably was just trying to lift a bag that was too heavy but my brain immediately started thinking that it was the end.
I hope that this group continues to be as wonderful and supportive as it has been so far, 9 months of pregnancy is a long journey and I have a feeling we're going to need each other x

Do you know what, this group is incredibly supportive.
The 2016 group I was on before we lost our little one got really nasty. People were discussing MC as it had happened to s few people on the thread. Then someone got really arsy and started spouting off because she felt like her own pregnancy was being ruined because of other people's losses.

Then the group split up and some went to FB and some started another group, then I left as we lost our baby.

I feel like this group is really strong and supportive. I'd be so sad to leave if things go wrong for us.

Struggling today, understandably, and as some of you have said, I also was so unaware with DS really.

I have 4 pregnant friends atm. Was looking foward to be on mat leave with them all. 1 announced she pregnant to social media yesterday and another showed her 20 week scan and it hurt so much. I know another wants to announce her pregnancy to our social group on an Xmas dinner I am hosting (where another pregnant friends will be too). Its so odd to feel so selfish for grieving. Also feels like I shouldn't be grieving as there could still be hope right?

Hi everyone, please can I join, I recognise quite a few names on here but I've only just got the courage to join myself haha, I am roughly about 6+3(?) And sadly had an early loss last cycle. I didn't have a period before I found out I was pregnant again which is why I'm a bit unsure of my dates. Feeling a bit more confident each day but still knicker checking every time I go to the loo.

I'm so sorry for everyone who has had bad news these past few days, it's so horrible, sending lots of love out x

@TwittleBee totally understandable. I am a bit of a mess today too, I haven't slept at all and I feel very tearful. I am just holding it together for my little boy who is none the wiser. Until it's 'over' there is still hope, but I'm trying not to be seduced by all the "same thing happened to me, now I have a healthy 2yo DS" etc message boards. I still hoped last time, even though the dates just didn't stack up, and now I kick myself for being so naive. xx

So sorry to hear some of you have had losses, I can't imagine what you are going through, sending lots of love 💕

I'm so sorry girls 💕

I totally agree people are oblivious to it. I'm so SO lucky to never have experienced it myself , I've had 2 previous pregnancies and both were straight forward. This time around I'm so nervous ! One of my best friends had 2 like I did and then a miscarriage so it shocked me a little. I think you assume you're going to be fine after having 2 healthy pregnancy but it's just not the case is it , and it seems so common ! I know so many people who have struggled.

I agree that it’s extremely supportive on here and nice that we’ve all got a little outlet to come to.

Still thinking of those of you that are suffering x

@ratherbeshowjumping i'm so sorry. You've got such a lovely positive attitude i'm sure that will help you through this dark time. Please do pop back and let us know how you are doing. There was a lady who did that on our 2016 MN antenatal thread and it was so lovely to hear her news especially when she conceived again.

A little bit of positive news this morning for our little thread. Had a private scan today at 8+5 all looking good just one little bean wriggling away with a strong heartbeat and measuring bang on for dates. Very relieved and hoping for more positive news for everyone else as the weeks go on

@allthegood that’s great to hear! X

That's great news @allthegoodnames, just what we needed to hear on this thread !

allthegoodnamesalreadytaken that is lovely news!

Yeah we are lucky we have our DSs to keep us focused BettySwoll0cks ! DH still is so hopeful and it's hard to be grieving in front of him as he keeps saying all will be okay but how can it be when the sonographer said not to get our hopes up? So sorry you are having to go through this again lovely. It is a shame we can't be there for each other in real life, feels like it would be good to have a proper cuppa (or glass of wine) and a cry together x

Oh yay brilliant! allthegoodnamesalreadytaken ! Good to have some good news after yesterday's bad news tidal wave that seemed to hit the thread

Sorry some have had bad news

I've had no more cramps, and no blood at all, did another clear blue this morning which has progressed to 3+, boobs hurt, still getting twinges, still feeling nauseous. I'm hoping I'll go back today and my HCG will have doubled, and that the only reason we didn't see anything on the scan was that I was simply too early. But we will see...

Thanks everyone. That's good news @itslilsebastian keeping everything crossed for you and @TwittleBee

@Stargazydrifter thank you so much. Will add my EDD to the list

@Twittlebee I relate to your feelings so much, it’s a horrible situation to be in. My son was due 5th February 2019 and my OH’s cousins boy is due 31st January. It’s so hard to watch her bump grow and everyone get excited for them and makes me feel incredibly selfish for feeling that way. You constantly think “why me” but at the same time would never wish it on anyone. Firstly, I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you. All hope is not lost. 🤞 secondly - to everyone who has experienced losses recently if you ever need to talk, I’m here. I know the feeling all too well. I know how hard this is and sometimes you just need someone who understands. So if any of you ever need a chat, you know where to find me my heart goes out to all of you.

Also can I recommend joining the TTC after pregnancy loss thread in conception. I’ve been there for 1 year, I’m still there, they are such a supportive group and understand what you’re going through. They’ve helped me so much this past year. It’s lovely to see how supportive this group is too, we’re all here for you.

Wow, that ended up being very long so I’m sorry! Just had to say that 😊

So sad to hear everyone's bad news, it's been a rough couple of days by the looks of things 😔 take care of yourselves ladies ❤️

You're all spot on with the, we don't talk about it enough stuff. Earlier this year I went for my 12 week scan blissfully unaware that there could be anything other than a healthy baby on the screen. When the lady said "oh no" my heart sank, I've never felt like that before in my life 😢

I'm still very nervous this time round and have a private viability scan booked for tomorrow at midday, so I've got everything crossed for a heartbeat ❤️

@allthegoodnamesalreadytaken that's awesome news! What a relief!

@itslilsebastian well that sounds positive!

To all the others in limbo, it's certainly not over yet (says I who freaked out on Tuesday).

I hope all you wonderful strong ladies that are either going through extremely tough times or are exhausted with pregnancy already have had a little smile put on your face today by something. I went out to shop for a new table after already being sick this morning. Through up outside in front of everyone at M&S! Was wonderful! X

Thanks all. Bloods done, just awaiting the results!