Due Oct 2007 ~Little Piggies turning into Porkers!

[FloriaTosca]

Thought I'd get the new thread started as no one objected to my title suggestion

Floria - have just read your post - omg, you are so brave - I really admire your guts and determination!

totally garee with ejt - certainly puts it into perspective. I hope you get everything to go the way you want and certainly deserve. we've all got our fingers crossed for you.

garee???? agree!

Floria - ditto what has been said, I really feel for you both

Floria - it isn't offensive. It is upsetting, but not in the way I think you're worried about. You've been through so much. I don't think any of us will get much sleep until we've heard from you if you end up going for the amnio.

Floria - what a difficult position to be in with you and dh not seeing eye to eye. Although we're not in the same risk category as you by any means, it is nice to know that before the nuchal fold scan, we had already agreed not to go for any diagnostic tests whatever the results were. Dh was 100% with me on this point. In contrast, my mother was always keen on us having an amnio to check for ds as we already have 3 children between us and she said having a ds child would be too much for us to cope with! I can understand her point, but no way that the risk of m/c would be worth it... Fingers and toes will crossed at the end of July for you!

Hi ladies,
New to this board - been posting a bit on the general pregnancy board until I realised that there was a due in october thread over here!

I'm due on the 27th October... and just had a question. It's going to take some explaining, so please bear with me?

I have my very first midwife's appointment on Wednesday since I was booked at 11 weeks.

Basically this is due to a scare we had at our 12 week scan when the hospital I was at mis-diagnosed probable Edwards syndrome with our little one. All very traumatic, but the long and short of it is that I was transfered to a different hospital with a specialist Foetal Medicine Unit, for a CVS and lots more scans.

Because I was in the midst of all this when my appointment came through for my 16 week consultant's appointment I was instructed by my Doctor to cancel it as we were still awaiting results for a variety of things.

However, as a result I have been unable to obtain my notes/blood results etc. from the hospital as apparently these are usually given to you at this 16 week appointment.

I have since transferred from this hospital because the whole issue with the misdiagnosis was handled so badly - plus it was a total dump - that I have no desire to ever set foot in the place again, let alone have my baby there. But now they say there's no way they can give me my notes/results unless I have a consultant's appointment - which would be pointless surely?

Question is, is the midwife I'll be seeing on Wednesday expecting to see notes? And although I'm seeing this midwife at my doctor's surgery is she linked with the old hospital, in which case is she likely to be pissed off that I've accepted this appountment even though I won't be having my baby there?

I have another booking appointment at the new hospital, when they'll re-do all the blood test etc. but it's not until the 10th June (I'll be 24+3 then).

I did consider cancelling this midwife appointment, but thought I'd better not, since my booking appointment ws so far away and no-one's so much as checked my blood pressure since I was 11 weeks (now 22+2).

But now I'm worried that I'm going to be in trouble/shouted at... and that I should've checked before now.

Any ideas?

OMG Floria you really have been through the mill. Certainly I'm sure I speak for most people (and certainly myself) when I say that your post was far from offensive. It just made me feel incredibly lucky to have been able to conceive healthy children (fingers crossed for ds2 but it seems so so far...) so easily both times. What you're going through and the difficult decisions you have to make along the way is so so tough I don't think anyone should dream of judging you for the decisions you finally make.

With ds1 and 2 we had the nuchal scan and extra blood tests to improve the sensitivity to determine if they were downs or not - that decision even knowing its unlikely given my age was hard enough!

Fingers crossed you and dh will be able to come to a decision that you are both happy with x

If I was you, I wouldn't get yourself in a state about it, go see the midwife and explain what has happened, NONE of it is your fault and you have every right to be checked over by a midwife to make sure everything is alright.

Welcome to the thread

welcome designerbaby!

Not sure about what the 'right' answers are to all your questions but do you not have handheld maternity notes that you take yourself from one place to another? I thought this was the norm but I may be wrong.

As far as hospital notes go it should be no problem for your new hospital to request these. As a hospital doc (not obstetrics!) we do this all the time to clarify whats happened in the past to patients in another hospital. Does this help?

I guess the one saving grace if it is the midwfe I saw at the first hospital is that she spoke hardly any English - so there's less likelihood of her understanding what I'm saying, and getting annoyed .

It was another reason I wanted a tranfer - she was really nice, bu I figured that speaking the same language as your midwife might be quite handy later on...

Keep wondering if i shuld go back to the first hospital and DEMAND my blue notes... but have my doubts they'd give them to me even then, and I'm in no condition to be staging a sit in.

DB
xx

Hi Alice, hi Mrs Fish

Thanks for the replies and the welcome...

No handheld (blue) notes as apparently I would have been given them at the 16 week consultant's appointment which I was told not to have...

Hospital 2 people say they'll do their own set - even the Foetal Medicine Unit couldn't get hold of them - they were expecting them to be sent across when i was referred there, but they weren't.

I've a sneaking suspicion they've been lost...

DB
xx

Apricott - sorry got cut off in the middle of explaining the vbac / section dilemma as I see it for me - will try now but ds might drag me away!

Basically I am certainly not pro section per-se - before ds was born I had 'planned' a waterbirth with gas and air. When I arrived ds was distressed so I ahd to be monitored and couldn't go in the pool. I ended up with an epidural more through circumstance - I was concerned that as he was distressed they would need to do something unpleasnat to me to get him out in a hurry. I have a funny anaesthetic sensitivity and therefore wouldn't have wanted to risk a GA as it would take several hours for me to come round after. Despite this I got to 9cm before he was born in a rush with an emergency section.

I have no negative associations with my birth - I did my best and circumstances were beyond my control and at least ds was fine. Nor do I feel any sense of loss for not having him 'normally'. In fact I was pleasantly surprised at how easy my recovery was as compared to that of friends who had less than straightforward vaginal deliveries and this can't help but colour my views...

In theory I should have an excellent chance of a succesful vbac having already got to 9cm (and same for you too nellie if you got to 10 and pushing) and I know if it was straightforward my risks are lower and recovery will be easier. However I am really scared that unlike last time I will be seriously p*ssed off if I end up with another emergency section as risks and recovery time are much more significant in the emergency as compared with elective setting.

I would also probably want an epidural again for the same reasons as last time which might make it less likely to be successful if I vbac as I won't be able to mobilise, even though it was quicker than average last time.

I think my reasons to go for vbac are mainly about the recovery being quicker if its successful and straightforward. My little boy will only be 20 months old and his little world will be thrown into disarray enough without having a mummy who can't pick him up. However somewhat irrationally I am scared of not coping very well emotionally if it fails / I end up with a horrible vaginal delivery. I think I would be cross I had not gone for the elective section and saved myself a lot of agro.

Plus both sets of parents live at least 4 hours drive away so it would be much easier to be scheduled in!

Sorry to blether on so - not sure I've explained myself very well but there you go!

Floria, as it was said before this isn't the type of thread where people get shot down for expressing their opinions or sharing their problems. (and I for one am quite proud of that ) I can't imagine what your are going through and I think you are handling it brilliantly. Like everyone else has said if you do go for the test I just pray it brings you the results that you want so that you don't have to make any further really difficult decisions, will be thinking of you.

As for the rest of you, you have managed to terrify me about giving birth 100 hr labours, tearing front to back, I think I will just have to stop and get myself some Angel Delight on the way home to calm my nerves!

MrsFish - about your episiotomy - my mate had one with her first too. She needed it repeating when she had her dd as the scar tissue wouldn't stretch and she couldn't come out until it was cut! (Sorry if TMI!). But she did say it was less painful and healed quicker this time....

alicet - that's what I was afraid of it took a good 10 days to recover from, to be able to sit comfortably, and I was confined to the sofa as couldn't get up and down easily.

But if its to be, its to be, I'll deal with it at the time

MrsFish - sorry for that then - probably not what you wanted to hear. But like you say we will all deal with what we have to at the time and whatever happens it will be worth it if the baby is healthy

Floria - thinking of you, and hope that you don't have a difficult choice.
Just to add to the CS v VBAC discussion - I had difficult vaginal delivery with no.1 and then elective CS with 2. With my 2nd I somehow felt that I should be trying to deliver "normally" and it took until a consultant appointment at 34 wks for me to realise that it was utterly ridiculous for me to try anything but a c section. I have to say dd2's birth was fantastic. Calm, pain free, lovely compared to a very traumatic time with no.1 that took me months to recover from. I think that we can put ourselves under enormous pressure to do the perceived "right thing", but the right thing will always be what makes sense to us. It doesn't matter what others say. I am booked in for a cs with no.3 and it means that I can just enjoy looking forward to his arrival. Hope all you ladies trying to figure out what to do don't find it too hard or guilt inducing.

hi to designer baby, sorry i'm rubbish at advice, but i'd keep my appointment and see how i go if i was you, you may get a really nice one that you can explain everything to and she may help you sort your notes out.

FT-all i can say is, whatever happens you will have all our support and best wishes and we will be here for you whatever happens.

sorry cant remember everyone elses posts properly, i have no experience of a cs so can't comment with regards to that.

it seems a lot of people on here have horror stories regarding their births up to now, i was induced with dd and was on my own all night as they said i wasn't in labour, by 7am they had to break my waters and she was born at 10 am, which people say was very fast, but i felt and still feel it was horrendeous, i tore quite badly inside but wouldn't let them near me to stitch me and i had no pain relief, so i am rather terrified about this birth, and am seriously thinking of finding out about hypnobirthing, anyone got any experience of this?

well, i'm a big fat pig, made a lemon drizzle cake and eaten most of it dd's school got flooded at dinner so she came home early, been layed on the couch all day as we're being advised not to leave the house, and haven't been able to do anything with the car, will have to wait till the weather calms down.

Thanks K; that has made me feel a lot better actually. I know in my heart of hearts I'd feel better with the elective, becasue like Alice said I would be so pissed off if I ended up with another traumatic birth, so anything to eleviate that is good for me. And with regard to the recovery time, my recovery with the emergency c section was absolutely fine and I've heard lots of stories of vaginal births with horrible recoveries (and vice versa obviously - some people are very lucky!) - so it will be what it will be!!

and one last point - following on from designerbaby - what the hell is the matter with us that we are all, me included, so bloody scared of midwives and consultants??!! (well in my experience it's because a lot of them are monstrous - and I'm sure there are some lovely ones out there, and I know they are over worked and under resourced etc, but the nice ones certainly weren't at my first birth or when I lost my 2nd LO) They are supposed to be there to assist and support us on an incredible and often stressful, vulnerable time - not to scare us to death!!

I hope we are all still in favour of not judging each other and being open minded after that little rant - just really annoys me that what should be a happy time is so often ruined by those who 'care' for us. Designerbaby - stand firm and don't be put off!! I changed hospitals (and in doing so the PCT) and it's been fine so far. Good luck!!

just read my post, sorry FT, i didn't sound very positive then, what i meant to say, hopefully, everything will be fine for you and your lo, but if the worst was to happen, then we would be here for you

My sil had an emergency c-section with her first, after 36 hours of labour and the start of pushing, my niece got stuck so they had to do the c-section and pull her back out of the birth canal So the second time she had an elective section, she recovered amazingly quickly second time round, I was amazed as she had a 20 month old running around at the time, she said it was the best decision she ever made

My sister in law went into hospital at 8pm and delivered my 6lb 5oz nephew just after 12am (she was out the next morning and when i went to visit was upstairs doing her hair she was so well!)
and then with my niece went in at 5pm and delivered at 8pm -6lb 6oz.
Just to say I do know someone who came out okay!!

btw still bidding on pirates for ds1 from ebay and will definately be having angel delight this evening!

Katsch you've summed it up perfectly really - everyone will have different takes on what works for them and the different risks associated to each option will have different implications for everyone.

I love that on here there is no judgement on the decisions people make. most people have thought long and hard about their decisions on a whole variety of things and so the final outcome should (and seems to be) respected even if it doesn't agree with what you feel. Its really great that that seems to be the case on here - you are a bunch of lovely ladies!

And for every horror story there are just as many if not more that are straightforward and even (though I find this difficult to understand!) enjoyable!!!

For me what is hard is that I will have to live with the implications of my choice in this. If I didn't have a choice I would just get on with it and take what came (and hopefully deal with it well). Oh well - still a while yet!