Due in December 07- Our 'June, June, getting ready to bloom' thread HERE!!!!!!

[Lizzer]

Hello all and welcome to this month's thread!!
Let's all stop feeling sick and start expanding now

Hi there, I've been lurking on this thread for a while, but not posted before.
I have dd nearly 5, dd 2 and a half and am 15 weeks with no 3. I know I am an old granny compared to most on this thread, as I am 40 (felt this was my last chance to persuade dh into letting us try for no 3!)

Anyway, what spurred me to post was the mention of VBAC - I have had pregnancy induced hypertension with both previous pregnancies, which resulted in lots of monitoring/admittall etc. With my oldest I was induced and after 3 days of unsuccessful labout finally got stuck, ran a temp and had an emergency c-section. With my second dd, I was determined to go for VBAC and my consultant was very supportive. I had high bp again so they were not willing to let me go overdue - I had accupuncture and then a sweep and luckily went into labour on my due date. I had a normal delivery, with lots of pain relief - they said it was to bring my bp down - I wasn't going to argue!!!
ANyway, this is all a long way of getting round to the fact that I couldn't believe how much better I felt physically after the VBAC - being able to go and have a shower straight afterwards was great, and even though I had quite a few stitches I felt they did not compare to the way I felt after the c-section, the not driving etc.
At the end of the day its a personal choice, but I would go for a normal delivery any time and am really hoping I will avoid another c-section this time around too. Hope this helps a bit

Feel for you macdoodle...my situation not nearly so complicated although still annoys me enormously that this person has so much control over DD's life, and mine by extension. My own bl**dy fault but have now set myself up for a repeat experience by getting pregnant during a fairly brief fling. That relationship has ended at my instigation. Like you I'm thrilled about another baby but not looking forward to the future negotiations with the father. Actually at the moment he has absented himself and part of me hopes it will stay that way but also know not in the baby's best interests...
Anyway I guess we all have a few trials and tribs in life and yours sound a damned sight worse than mine right now!
Sorry can't comment on VBAC vs C-section. Had standard VB with DD but know others who have had terrible VB followed by C-section and raved about C-section by comparison. I'm not looking forward to xmas delivery either!

Cheese and whine for anyone else tonight?

6 hour waitressing shifts every night this week has left me aching quite literally from head to foot. Lovely people who all seemed to enjoy their meals too, but by the end of it I just wanted to sit and cry.

I'm another who's started having truly awful nightmares over the past week or so, and combining that with a 7am start, 1am finish, and everything else....

As I said: cheese and whine!

On the good side, I got to hear tadpole's heartbeat on Wednesday. Strangely, I found that made it all seem a lot more real than the scan did

Also, the awful job of updating the hotel website is done, and won't need to be redone for at least three months. Oh joy! If anyone has time to check it for howlers or dead links, I'd be most grateful www.spreadeaglejedburgh.co.uk .

Ok girls I have a problem. We went round to some friends of ours to see their newborn and I'm quite worried because I felt nothing. I just looked at this blind mewling thing and thought well it is kinda cute but also looks like a bit of a monkey and it doesn't really do much. I suppose I expected some kind of maternal instinct to kick in. I know this no1 wasn't planned but now I'm worried that I've made a big mistake. Please tell me it's different with your own.

thelady I know what you mean about sore feet. I've been running around in work all week and my feet have been constantly aching until I go to bed at night. Thank goodness I'm off on hols next week although the weather looks set to be terrible.

mad4. I have NEVER got a tooth out under local and always have to get put under. I'm not worried about the pain, I have an awful fear of choking that gives me panic attacks. It'll be a bit of pain and discomfort compared to what it would be in the long run. Be brave!!!

I'm really not a maternal sort of person and never really have the urge to pick up other people's babies, no matter how cute. However I bonded with DD instantly and she is the light of my life so am pretty sure it will be same this time around. IMO babies are pretty boring but the older she gets the more I adore her.
I read that the dreams are your subconscious trying to work thru issues related to the baby even tho they may not be directly about the baby. That makes sense but very hard to make the connection to some of the dreams I've been having - e.g. riding on the school bus in my old school uniform, how is that related?!!

Hello everyone!
Buzzybee - that's right I don't have a partner, but the baby's father came along with me to the scan. It's best to think of my situation as assisted conception, as if i were a lesbien and someone had 'helped' me. Just so happens the person that helped me, we were lovers, but it was never going to amount to more than that. We get on fine and he will be part of the baby's life - oh he wasn't tricked into it! It is definitely a planned baby! However, what i am doing is making my future plans as if i'm going to be totally on my own (ie finances, how i'm going to cope, making my network of other mum friends etc), so that whatever he offers will be a bonus. I said to him that you'll get back whatever you put in - now and in 20 years, but if you don't put anything in then i shan't be hassling you or phoning you, life will continue. At one point I did think 'have i made the wrong decision for the child?', but i don't think i have. I am 35, have lived a pretty good life so far, aren't rich but aren't poor either, am v happy. I'll just say i wanted you so much! Anyway, i do expect to meet a life partner at some point, i just wasn't prepared to miss the boat in terms of being a mother.
And Alice - if you're 40 and on your 3rd i hardly think that makes you a granny. Sounds pretty normal to me. Hopefully i'll be on my 3rd by 40 too!
I've woken up with period pain and feel all nervous this morning and had a little bit of brown stuff come out. Only a tiny bit though. I expect this is normal. Eeeek though!
P.S. i am training to be a counsellor and read this wonderful sentence in a book this morning, it's written by Carl Rogers (a lovely man, dead now tho , anyway, he is describing what psychotherapy means to him, sort of what it is, anyway this tickled me: "It is about me as I rejoice at the privelige of being a midwife to a new personality - as I stand by with awe at the emergence of a self, a person, as i see a birth process in which i have had an important and facilitating part."
Now although he is talking about counselling and how when people face their fears and start to live their lives how they really want to, and so become free, i thought it was a really nice analogy for a pregnant chick to read and wanted to share it.
So remember if any of you are feeling upset about ex h's or anyone being mean or just not co operating with you, remind yourself that you are busy making a new life, and that's a really bloody important job! THE most important job in the world.
I'll stop rambling now! Apologies for going on so long!
wishing you all a brilliantly creamy custard weekend.
Mad Neuro reporting from deepest Devon X

Neuro thanks, that's a lovely thought! You sound very very sorted within your situation, hats off to you. I'm lucky in that I am happy with Dh but I know many who are not and have stayed with them to have children anyway - I think your situation is far better than that!

Well I am feeling a bit odd the past few days - just don't feel pregnant anymore! Scan was 3 weeks ago now, 2 weeks to wait until I see MW and hopefully hear the heartbeat, but I am convinced she will say there is a problem. DH keeps telling me not to be so pessimistic, everything is ticking away behind the scenes and I should just stop worrying and get on with it!

I still don't feel 100% but I certainly feel less sick and tired than I have been. I've got a big fat tum but that seemed to appear 3 weeks ago then not change at all since then! Just feels like nothing is happening! I've had no pains and no bleeding, so I guess I've just got to trust in biology! I wish I could feel the baby move, that will be much more reassuring! Am I mental or is anyone else feeling like this?!

Caz10
I'm hearin' ya.
From v mild period pains this morning i'm totally panicking. It's awful. Is this your first pregnancy? It is a very nerve wracking process this.
I don't have any pregnancy sypmptoms now, so whilst i feel lucky i sort of think i'd rather feel sick as somehow it seems proof that i am still pregnant. I don't even have a fat tummy yet either so i think you should enjoy your tum! And unless you, and sorry to sound so graphic here, unless you actually have red blood in your knickers, then assume everything is fine. Also, remember that positive thinking goes a long way in all things in life, and that IF something were to be wrong there is nothing you can do about it, and there is nothing you do that can make things go wrong - unless you pick up a crack pipe.
Keep yourself busy and listen to your nice sounding partner.
I don't think you're mad for thinking what you are thinking though. IN fact, you sound completely normal.
I'm off to walk some naughty jack russells so that'll keep my mind busy trying to keep them out of holes.
Have you got some stuff you could do today to keep busy?

Neuro, that's fantastic. I absolutely agree with you about the new life coming into the world and part of me wishes this had happened before now ironically! If I didn't have the bad experience with ex-h I would be much more hopeful about the father of this baby coming around to work together in the same way as the father of your baby. When I found out I was pregnant (which was after I had told him I wanted to end the relationship) I sat down with him and told him I would like him to be part of the baby's life but not as my partner and that it was his choice as to whether he wanted to be or not, I wouldn't pressure him, pursue him financially etc. I knew that he was still in love with me so I expected him to take time to think about that but I also know he's fundamentally a decent person so expected that ultimately he WOULD want to be part of the baby's life and we'd find a way to make that work. However so far he has not been in contact again so I guess he's still working through some issues. There's no hurry in some respects but it does mean he's missing out on some things like the scan on Tuesday. Like you I'm fully prepared to do this alone - in fact I had previously thought about artificial insemination - so know I can cope both financially and have a great supportive group of friends and family.
Anyway enough of that on this thread!
DD and I went and bought some stretchy pants today - she so is sooo into this, I wouldn't normally be able to drag her screaming into a clothes shop with me. I'm beginning to be scared that I'm somehow substituting her for a partner but I swear she is the one taking the lead...

Beach don't worry - I am not a big fan of tiny babies mine or anyone elses (part of the dread really) I found the 1st 6 months especially hard - cry feed sleep shit that is all they do and lack of sleep very hard On the other hand from the first smile first word first step to my wonderful 5 year old dabbing my eyes with a tissue when I am crying telling me she loves her mummy cos I am the best in the world - having a child is the best thing (without a shadow of a doubt) that I have ever done ....I definitely enjoy her more as she gets older but the bond will be there from the start

Hi all

Sorry for not being about, DD2 has the WORST case of chicken pox i have ever seen, and she is not doing too well!

Im tired and grumpy after a manic week, and just want to sleep - so guess what ive done most of the day!

Will try and catch up soon xxx

hello everyone. sorry to hear about your dd jinxed, hope she feels better soon.

I totally recognise those feelings of benign indifference towards young babies - i also find them rather boring, but completely agree that once you see your lo smile for the first time then every new phase becomes more exciting. I'm not looking forward to the first 3 - 6 months with this baby, it has to be said, but I know we'll reap the rewards as time goes on a little. Just earlier, I said to ds "What's in here?", pointing to my tummy, and he said "baby" and I could have burst with happiness and love for him. Having children (just to echo what's already been said...) is definitely definitely the best thing I've ever done

Phew, so it is completely normal then! I suppose it hit me when they asked if we were excited. Dp said no which is the first time I'd heard him say that and I was a bit peeved at first and then sorta thought actually I don't think I am too. (more nervous and apprehensive) But then their first was a surprise too and she was devastated when she found out. Now they're on number two - so there must be something in it!

BeachBunni - totally normal imo! Even now, if we visit friends with a very young baby, i've no real desire to pick the baby up and coo over it - nothing to do with my maternal instict though, which is perfectly intact, and yours will be too.

Wow hats off to you neuro and buzzy - sounds like you have both got it all worked out and your attitudes towards your babies' fathers is lovely. I'm sure that you will both do brilliantly. I am in complete awe of single parents as I know how hard it is to raise one baby between two people - how people raise two or three by themselves I don't know but you have my full admiration.

Also think it is brilliant that you made the decision to have a child alone neuro - I always wonder what i would have done if dp hadn't come along in time (I'm 33) and I think (hope) I would have done what you did but also sometimes wonder if I would have been too much of a chickensh*t!!

beachbunni - totally normal - even having had a baby, other peoples' babies sometimes leave me cold (although probably less so than before) NO-ONE compares to your own. Would also reiterate that having dd was far and away the best, most meaningful, most beautiful amazing thing I have even done in my life and nothing could ever come close (well apart from no. 2 of course!) - you will feel exactly the same abotu yours I'm sure.

mad4girls - glad you're feeling better

Welcome Alice

hello everyone else

Caz10 - totally agree with you! I only did one test and no one else (GP, midwife) has confirmed I'm pg, they just go along with it. I have no symptoms apart from slightly bigger boobs and no periods obviously. I think my belly is getting bigger but could just be my imagination. So like you I'm just trusting in biology.

Keep thinking how embarrassing it would be if it turns out I'm not pg!

Aw thanks Skidaddle. I just dont' want to miss the boat, and in the last year i got fed up of people saying 'you've got loads of time' because i really feel that i don't. I am fortunate enough to look, sometimes, a good 10 years younger than i am but this is because i've looked after myself and have got some good genes, but...my eggs are still 35! And i did a great deal of partying from 17 til early 30's. Anyway, I've longed physically to be pregnant for years and years and over the last year or two each time i had my period even tho there was no way i could be pregnant i felt extremely low and disappointed and like a failure somehow. So i've taken that as a very obvious physical sign that i really need to have a baby and stopped beating myself up about it, and taken matters in hand! I was fortunate to meet someone last year, who this year decided he'd help me. The helping part was a lot of fun too!
I reckon what i'm doing will be very common place in 10 years...and if i have a daughter and she gets a broody in her 20's i'll just tell her to go for it. I wish i'd done it sooner, but at least it's happening now. I didn't want to be a desperate 40 something who'd never met the right guy and then found out she couldn't have kids. I know personally i'd have felt life was pointless. I come from a big family.
Anyway, ramble ramble.
Have a good day all!

p.s. Yeah, high fives Buzzybee! It's a great feeling knowing that because you dont' have partner and are having a baby doesn't mean you'll end up on the streets! I'm sure your future baby's father will come around. To be honest i think a lot of men would find this situation appealing if they hadn't met anyone as i do know a fair few men in their late 30's who secretly are broody and would love kids, so it's a different way of them having one.
Off out to walk some Russells now...

Just a quick thought for the day which should make everyone smile.

Is being PG a suitable excuse when trying to explain a hefty garage bill to the company due to work required after putting petrol into my diesel car????!!!!!!

Having a jolly few days at work I can tell you - not!!!! but Button bump is fine so not really getting stressed at all

ta ta for now

Hi - I'm still waiting for the nuchal scan - mine's a week Thurs (can't remember who asked re scans and I'm too lazy to scroll back down!)

VBAC - go for it unless there is some medical reason not to - I did with number 2 and it was great - as someone said earlier, the simple fact of being able to get up and about was so much better. I was induced as waters had broken and labour not started - even that wasn't a problem - they were really careful about starting the drip with the lowest dose and gradually increasing until it all started (some people will try to scare you re inductions and VBACs, basically saying you can't risk induction if you've had a section but that's bulls**t)

Good afternoon to all and here's to another expanding week!

Neuro can I just say that maybe its my preggo hormones but I love you hahah

I love your posts and attitude to this pregnant - you are going to make such a fab Mum

(as are all of us December mums ) xxxxxx

I agree, Neuro you sound so screwed on!!

Anybody think 24 weeks to go is a bit bloody frightening

28 weeks to go here mine due dec 30 - nuchal scan wed bit scared actually am now 36 and wondering what i will do if risk come sout as high

Hey everyone, I had a great weekend in London, but absolutely knackered from all the walking DH & I did!!

Macdoodle - you are not alone. I too p*ssed myself puking up with ms . It's just one of those things, especially when the vomiting is particularly violent. I managed to pes myself with an empty bladder (Sorry if TMI!).

Mad4girls, I had 2 wisdom teeth extracted under local, did you ask if you can have sedation. It was very uncomfortable, but they take it at your pace and will top up the local if needed. Best advice I got was as soon as you get out of the dentist, take some paracetamol as this will take the edge off the pain when the anaesthetic wears off. Took me a couple of days for swelling to go down and it did hurt alot. However, one of them was an impacted tooth which was very hard to remove. If they are removing a rotten tooth then it won't be as bad. DH had an infected tooth out and he said it wasn't as bad as a filling and he had a lot less pain than I had and hardly any swelling. I hope this reassures you!!

Hello to everyone else!!

I've had all 4 wisdom teeth out. One under sedation, an the rest under local (i.e. jags in the mouth). No pain, just a bit of pushing by the dentist until the tooth 'let go'. They don't pull them out, apparently, they push as it's more controllable.

Much less pain than a filling for me too!